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Day 5

Jacattack86

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huzzah for side effects! I'm feeling the 'tane drain (aka I'm SO freakin tired - no bueno either, cause today is the first day of classes!) Also, inside of my nose is incredibly dry and sore. Lips a little dry but overall still not too bad. More little whiteheadish pimples cropped up overnight, but I'm not too concerned. The little ones that came out the other night are already just little red flat spots. I officially have NO CYSTS currently (thanks neosporin!) but I know its not gonna stay that way most likely, But I'll tell you, I love that it doesn't hurt to smile! I've been keeping the aquaphor on pretty steadily, I already had some around cause I use it on my cuticles in the winter, but after classes today I popped into Rite-Aid to see what else I could pick up for the adventure, and I found aquaphor in a two-pack of mini tubes! I got so excited! I tell you, only people on accutane get that excited about portable aquaphor. Also picked up some eucerin redness relief cleanser, I'm hoping it will calm down some of this inflamation on my face that makes my acne look so much worse than it is.

So, I've been reading a ton of logs on here, mostly from other girls my age in my position, so I feel alright kind of sharing a little personal stuff on here. Question for the ladies out there who are in relationships or dating: how do you handle the staying overnight thing with guys? I can make my skin look clear/passable during the day but I HATE sleeping in my makeup, and even if I do, it still wears off at night and then I just have mascara clumped eyes, patchy bronzer, and worn-off crusty concealer ON TOP of my redness and zits. SO ATTRACTIVE. I ask because I've been seeing this guy for a couple weeks now. Well actually, its a weird story. I met him three and a half years ago through friends, immediately after I broke up with my ex boyfriend of 4 and a half years (and who had been the only guy I'd ever, ahem, 'been with') needless to say, this guy (I'll call him photoguy, he's a photographer) was basically an immediate rebound, and for some godforsaken reason I just slept with him immediately after meeting him (eeesh! I know. I was 19, gimme a break). Anyway, I decided never to see him again after that, but through the past few years he has still kept in contact with me and talked to me (I never really understood why). Anyway, a few weeks ago we started really talking again, and he said he really wanted to hang out again. Now ladies and gents, I have been single for the past three years basically, and celibate for the last six months (by choice though ha) so I'm thinking, what the hell? Why not hang out. He's a perfectly normal, attractive guy who I just happened to embarrass myself with by sleeping with him way too soon, three years ago. Wow, thats a long sentence. anyway. I decide why not? So we went out to lunch, and it was fun and completely cool, and then i went over to his place (I live right outside of Philly, he lives in the city) and we decided to make dinner together (which turned out amazingly delicious, btw). So we mad dinner, drank wine all night, music, etc, really fun. And I got a little happy. Annnd I slept with him and stayed over. ok. Anyway, I kind of freaked out the next morning because my face was a MESS, there's no way he couldn't have noticed. Especially since the last time I saw him (three freakin years ago) my skin was perfect (and I weighed ten pounds less but ANYWAY)...he still wants to see me! And this is going to sound weird, but I'm not sure I'm that into him. Physically, yes, very much so, but I don't think we quite 'click' in the other ways the way I'd like us to. I'm pondering a 'casual' relationship with him (c'mon, girl's got needs) but I don't know. Those things don't usually work out the way you want them to...no matter how much you convince yourself they can haha. Ladies, thoughts? Should I give it some more time?

Alright. On to dogsitting (best college job ever).

-J


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