So I woke up at three this morning, did the Regime, then basically traveled and played my trumpet until now, 10:30pm. I'm currently waiting for the Benzoyl Peroxide to dry. I'm looking forward to sleeping to night very much so, then tomorrow comes and its another long but amazing and awesome day (honorband). I'm going to miss the people (here) a lot, I wish they went to my school. But oh well. I'll see (most of) them next year. Next year will be the last year I see a lot of these people. It seems like everything's ending rather then beginning. As if teenage years ARE life, and not just a prelude to adulthood. I don't know. I'm not afraid of the future,...but I hate watching my life fly by. It feels like everything is already over. As if I'm living in the past, as if the present was just a vast collection of memories instead of currently reality. I know I'm going to miss this year's seniors a LOT even though we don't hang out much outside of band stuff. The junior class I have mixed feelings about,...its like everything dramatic happened because of one person in that class and every one of the nine other girls he dated while I thought I was special to him. Big mistake. It's been years in the making,...but maybe once he's finally truly out of my life I'll come out of this slump and my shell. I do here, despite the fact I have acne. Hes not here. I know its wrong to blame my problems on him, for its my own fault I'm depressed or resentful every now and then, but if he wouldn't have been so stupid things would be more than adequate, thats for sure. Being on the honorband trip makes me miss some of the ex-seniors. But only one or two of them for some reason. I was fond/indifferent of all of them, but some of them just stuck closer to me I guess, treated me like a friend instead of a band acquaintance. A lot of people do that now. It makes me pretty happy with my life, no matter who intentionally/unintentionally tries to screw it up.