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02/01/2018 (healing)

so I haven't been picking at my skin much which is COOL. I try to pay more attention to my actions & it's working. my skin's looking genuinely nice but I have a few wounds that still need to heal. that's particularly difficult cause dead dry skin seems very appealing for my picking-loving fingers

I've ordered some natural oils and I'm excited for them to arrive. will write reviews

there is this one huge wound under my eyebrow that's a bit gross as eyebrow hairs are growing through it and I'm not sure how to make it heal faster. Clindamycin generally helps and I know it takes time but ughhh I wish I hadn't messed it up in the first place






I have had dermatillomania for as long as I remember but only recently I realised how much it really fucks up my skin. I really do think that it is the main reason for my acne. it's a vicious cycle: my anxiety makes me pick at my skin, that causes my acne, my acne makes me anxious about my appearance. and there are also other things that motivate me to end this ugly habit: mostly I am scared that I will eventually develop actual OCD. there has been a period in my life in which I compulsively picked at my eyebrows and eyelashes and I am scared that I could get back to that or to something even worse. also my skin looks really nice when I don't pick at it and when I do it looks SO bad and there is nothing worse than an infected wound. and makeup would look so much nicer! so it's a win win but it won't be easy. 

I pick at my skin when I'm super focused on it like in a trance or when I don't realise it, while reading or watching a film or something like that. I need to make sure that I realise soon enough what I am doing and stop right away. and also I need to keep my hands busy. I have took up embroidery so I think that should help  

my first challenge is to heal all the damages that I have done in the past two weeks (they were quite bad) and try not to cause new ones. which is tricky. I need to figure out how to care for my face without triggering dermatillomania. but I'll figure it out