Hi! So although my skin has more or less settled now, with the exception of the odd spot, I wanted to share my experience of having acne as well as tracking my current experience of overcoming and accepting the scarring it left behind.
Last summer, I moved out of my dads and moved counties to live with my mum. I won't sugarcoat it... it was pretty stressful!! and I'm convinced that this was what first brought on the beginning of the acne, as my most problematic area was my forehead-which is proven to be stress related. It began with manageable breakouts but gradually got worse and worse, and wouldn't clear up!
so I.tried.everything... everything. I already had a very healthy diet and lifestyle in general, doing lots of running and exceeding my 5 a day. I went that extra mile, cutting out all the foods they say can provoke acne, potatoes, bread, milk etc. All products I used came from a natural skincare business with all naturally derived products, cleansers, face masks, toner, exfoliater (the lot!!) but nothing would help. My skincare routine was perfect, washing it twice a day, cleansing in the evening and exfoliating 2-3 times a week. I was due to start sixth form at this point, in a new county, with no friends and I was beginning to really worry about my skin and what other people would think. So I went to the doctors.
.. big sigh....
i made countless appointments, waiting weeks and weeks in between each one, just to be prescribed endless amounts of external creams that dried out my skin and made it worse, despite my complaints that they just werent working!!! Anyway, after weeks and weeks of worsening acne I was determined that I wanted to go on dianette.
I started dianette and I was on it for six months, I had no severe side affects that I remember, other than feeling a bit nauseous on the first week and probably having some mood changes, although that's difficult to track when you're a teenage girl anyway! It cleared up my acne after about two months, including hard lumps I had under the skin that had been there for months and wouldn't surface. I was left with a lot of pitted and coloured scarring on my forehead, but now that it was less lumpy it was so much easier to cover with make up. Overall, I can say that dianette was a success story for me, it cleared up my skin and since coming off it, did not return to the state it was in before. HOWEVER, I am now into my 5th month since coming off of dianette, and I am having extreme hair shedding. I used to have very very thick hair, but it is slowly becoming very thin. Perpetual amounts of strands come out everytime I wash it, brush it, or simply when I'm not doing anything to it at all! I'm hoping this will subside but I will keep updating.
Below are some pictures of my skin, although I don't seem to have any of it at it's worse because I think I was too upset to take any, and back then thinking about making a blog in the future hadn't sprung to mind. Most of the pictures are the start of the acne, and then the worst of the scarring and redness left behind when it first began to ease off.
I felt so alone with my acne especially because it was such an uncommon place for people to have it, it wasn't like the more common cystic cheek acne. There were times when my whole forehead would be covered in big lumpy whiteheads and pimples. It was such an effort to wake up early every morning knowing that I was going have to spend so much time doing my make up, for my skin to still look dreadful anyway. People who haven't suffered with acne can never fully understand the feeling of looking at other peoples perfect skin and wondering why they don't have to go through it, why they can do stuff like go to bed with their make up on and still have the smoothest most flawless skin you've ever seen. No one tells you how painful it is to catch someone staring at your skin when you're talking to them or how difficult it is to hold a conversation when you're looking down at the ground in a desperate attempt for them not to see your face. No one prepares you for that overwhelming urge to burst into tears everytime you catch your reflection. No one tells you how ugly it makes you feel when you see your naked face in the bathroom mirror when you brush your teeth at night. But the most important thing is to know that you aren't alone. Whether there's not one clear patch of skin from your forehead to your chin, or whether you have a couple of spots on your nose, nobody can tell you that 'it's not that bad' it's bad to you, and that's enough. If it's bad enough to make you feel bad about yourself, it's bad. But it will get better, and you will be stronger and more aware as a result of it. I still get down about my scarring, still wear make up everywhere I go and still suffer with confidence problems but I'm in a much better place about it than I was. I hope something in what I've written can help somebody suffering from a similar situation. Happy to answer any questions!!:)
(excuse the mellow dramatic faces, I wanted to be clear that i was not taking a selfie out of choice .... )