Sometimes I think it's a payback of my previous evil living style. I used to sleep really late, due to my work and also my habit for ages. Had only 2 to 3 glasses of water daily. Ate any rubbish I wanted and ate a lot. Almost zero exercise. Lazy as hell, bought my second hand skateboard at a really tempting price almost one year ago but just used it once. But I was health enough and even ppl told me that I was too active sometimes. I thought I was just lucky.
Acne did bring me unexpectedly not only damage to my face, I would say it's a huge one that I don't really look at mirror now, but also a detrimental side effect from the medication, and an unexpected emotional breakdown. It was definitely a torture. I was keeping myself in shell for a while and kept crying before sleep for the pain from the gel. It is hard for those haven't experienced to believe how acne can be a serious illness. Even some of my friends questioned about that after heard my stories. "Do you overreaction?" "They're just pimples." "You look such bad just becos you ate something wrong/ slept late/ were dirty blah blah blah"
To people who are suffering these right now, please bear in mind:
- This is a Disease, really, on both physical and mental level. Not your fault and don't be frustrate or question about yourself for the depression.
- Some people with no knowledge or experience like to judge the medication which suggested by professionals you are taking, yea, it happened. Just roll your eyes and ignore them. We trust someone who had trained for years but not the one relatively closed to you without knowledge.
- Keep on your life. As I mentioned I kept myself home cos I thought everyone would be disgusted by my face. I was sociable but now I can't really look into others' eyes. Recently I start going out from my room. Hanging out and begin to do some exercise. Used to think about the problem every single second but distraction does help me to fight over my negative emotions. It takes time for recovery, just be patient and use the time to achieve somethings else.
- Ask for support when you need. Grateful to some of my good friends and family. While the first 2 weeks of medication, my best friend was there, holding my hand and hugging me in arms, telling me it's gonna be alright. It is apparent that mental health is one of the key factors to adult acne problem. I know, it's also sooooo difficult for me but don't worry too much.
Sharing all of these just becos it's easier to overcome with support from others. If you have any sharing pls feel free to let me know. Hope all of us have a well recovery soon. Cheers.
Now I'm 31, recalling my whole time of teen years, I never had more than 2 or 3 pimples on my face at the same time. I'm not saying my face was perfect. What worried me was dryness of my face and I've never experienced any big skin problem even under great pressure, sleeping late, junk food or a list of bad living habits. Even I had to work overnight for many nights since a few years ago, only 2 or 3 appeared and it never was a matter in my mind ---- until 4 months ago the nightmare began.
Problems were coming
I have moved to Australia since Sep 2015. I met some problems but all were almost settled, thus I quite enjoyed my new life in a new place. However I start to find many spots appeared on both sides of my temples and cheeks. I tried a bunch of stuffs, really, lotion, purifying mask, tea tree cream, vitamin e cream, aloe vera gel, bp, even chinese medicine, manuka honey mask or egg yolk mask. But it's just getting worse and worse. As is to say, if you find anything minor problems on your face, go to the dermatology immediately. Don't hesitate and deal with it before it's getting serious. Your face could be damaged in one night, whereas which would take ages for healing.
Confusion about dermatology
The first time I visited a dermatology was Apr 2016. The derm didn't really take time to check with my face, suggested me went straight to isotretinoin as the first medication. I was so worried and checked online. Seriously I was frightened by the horrible side effect. I went to the herb medication by suggestion of my friend. However it didn't help. I called other dermatologists but they were extremely busy! It's hard to believe that they told me the appointment will be around 2 months later. How happened to Melbourne people? I was desperate...luckily one of the clinic called back a few days later they could offer me a time spot much earlier than I expected, It's a light in the darkness.
The second derm was much serious, to be honest. At least she asked me what kind of gel or medication I took before, my history and checked my face with a machine I didn't know but it didn't matter. She told me it's wise to not taking isotretinoin as the first medication. She said, "I'm not saying you won't have the chance to take it in future, but you should try other moderate choices first." It's Epiduo gel, which I have to apply every night and Minocycline, take twice daily.
Of course I asked the question which frustrated and confused me till now, "why did I get this?" I believe many of you who suffer in the same problem is asking it every single second of your day as me. "We can't chase the reasons." I was a bit disappointed. "However the most important is that we know the solution."
It was 7 weeks ago, before one of the long and hard struggle I experienced in my life, against the acne, side-effect and depression. I'm still into it. The reason I start my journal is fighting against the emotion with people who have the same problem. While suffering the illness, the sharing from people who had recovered does help. I also hope my experience would support others to go through the nightmare.