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Ending My Sixth Month!

I am ending my sixth month on September 15th. After this long and cruel battle with acne, as of right now, it is gone off of my back. Of course, there are scars, but I think I can manage with those. It's quite liberating, but I still want to do something about the scars. For all the people who are wanting to start Accutane for any type of acne, for me, it worked. Although you may go through some rough patches, the acne will go away. It did in my case. Now let's hope that it stays away -- I have a follow-up appointment in January, but if my acne has not returned, I do not have to go back. If anyone has any questions, please let me know. I keep up with this account whether I am posting or not. I can help you work through your body acne struggles. It's a pain, and a HUGE blow to your self-confidence, but I believe that one day, I will be able to comfortably take my shirt off in front of people. I've attached my most recent photos of my back -- you can only see a few red marks but believe me, in person, there a more scars than that.

appenyere

appenyere

09/09/2015

 

A Good Day

Today I decided to take my dog out on a walk at a trail near my house. Today was also the day that I wore a tank top in public for probably the first time in my life. It was liberating, but still terrifying for me. I'm still incredibly insecure of the scarring I have on my shoulders, but I am slowly starting to realize that it isn't that big of a deal to other people. My shoulders and shoulder blades are covered in a slew of small white scars, they aren't raised or bumpy, but they are visible. They are my biggest insecurity. It's hard, but I am gaining some confidence in myself. On the plus side, since I had little to no acne on my face, the accutane has made me look flawless. I've received many compliments about the skin on my face, but it's hard to accept the compliments when you know you aren't flawless in any way. Have a good Sunday!

appenyere

appenyere

06/28/2015

 

Month Five Is Almost Here!

Very excited to almost begin my fifth month of Isotretinoin. It has been very helpful, as of right now I have no acne on my back. If I didn't have a bunch of scars I would totally go out without a shirt on right now. Unfortunately, I do, but I really do believe that I can fade them enough over time to be able to take my shirt off. My lips are so dry though, my co-workers have became a bit worried about me (I haven't told anyone that I am taking isotretinoin). I just play it off. I can't wait to be off of it, but I am so worried the acne will return. Since I have to wait six months until I can do anything about the scarring, I'll have time to see if the acne will return. If not, I can't wait to help diminish the scars! I'm honestly feeling pretty happy right now, and in hoping it stays this way. It's been so hard this summer, all of my friends want to go swimming but I just wont. Plus the incredible sunburn I get when I'm outside for too long. Anyways, I don't have and acne on my back right now and I'm happy. Can't wait to see what I'll look like in 1 year

appenyere

appenyere

06/23/2015

 

More Isotretinoin + My Horrible Insurance Journey

I forgot to add this in my last post! For whatever reason, my derm wants me to start taking 90mg a day for my last 3 months rather than the 80mg I have been doing. I will start my day with a 40mg pill, take a 10mg pill in the middle of the day, and then another 40mg pill at night. Seems a bit unneeded, but I am assuming it's what is best for me. I didn't question it like I should have, it makes me worry that the pills aren't giving the outcome she thought they would. This is also going to be a problem for my wallet -- I haven't had the most luck with my insurance. Apparently, my insurance will cover only $500 a year for pharmaceuticals, so my first batch of pills cost me $100. Unfortunately, I assumed they would cover some of the costs every month. Nope. I went back my Kroger pharmacy for my next round of pills and I was told my insurance wouldn't cover the cost of them at all. The total for them was over $600. Of course, I panicked, and I called my dermatologist freaking out. She told me that the Walmart pharmacy has a 'cheaper' brand called "Myorisan" which came to $450. As I sat in disbelief, I simply had to suck it up and pay the money. This will total to be a $2,250 investment on my part. Had I not been a college commuter still living at home and able to work while in school, this wouldn't have been possible. Also, it's summer so I decided to work full-time to curb the amount of money I have to spend on these! I did receive a large tax refund this year that has definitely calmed me down on the cost of the medication. Always look at the positives. Although, I am quite terrified that the acne will return when I stop the pills. This is probably my only chance I get, so I sincerely hope this ends it. Any other money I save will be put towards scar treatments.

appenyere

appenyere

06/14/2015

 

Happiness In A Week Of Sadness

This week has been pretty tough for me. I'm not sure what happened, but I went through some serious episodes of sadness and crying spells for about two days. I was extremely upset about the scarring on my back and the fact that it happened to me. I sat in my bed and cried and felt empty and distant, only getting up to use the bathroom and to eat. It's probably the medication. Although it has been making me very upset, I have to push through and keep my head up so I can get over this. Today I had my monthly appointment with my dermatologist. Everything was excellent for my blood tests, thankfully, and I was told that the acne is clearing up nicely. I told her that I was worried about the scarring and she told me it was just light scarring and to talk about treating the scars next March. I was so happy to hear her say "light scarring" because I've been so upset about it lately. I can't wait to see what we can do about them!

appenyere

appenyere

06/11/2015

 

Month 4!

Yesterday marked the beginning of month 4! Currently have two small pimples on my back, but progress has been made! I'm still feeling a bit down about the scarring, but I am trying really hard to stay positive. It's really frustrating to have back acne. I feel if I had facial acne I'd be a bit more confident since people would just know and they'd accept it. It's hard to have any type of relationship when you have a hidden problem. I definitely won't be dating until I feel 100 percent confident with myself again. It's awful, but I really think I can get through this. Let's hope things are better in September!

appenyere

appenyere

06/04/2015

 

Almost Done With Month 3!

June is approaching fast. My 3rd month of Accutane is almost over. My acne has definitely subsided substantially. I have just one pimple on my back right now. During my first two months I was getting worried, but now when I feel my back it's such a wonderful feeling to feel it's smoothness. The only thing I am worried about now is the scarring. I have hyperpigmentation and some other type of scarring I can't identify. It's not really visible up close, but when I back away and look at my back under light you can see it. It looks like small bumps all over my back, yet when I feel my back, it's smooth. My shoulders are messed up, they're my biggest insecurity. What I've read has told me it is hypopigmentated scarring; small white bumps that aren't really treatable. I really hope I can do something about them, I despise them. Other than the scars, the Accutane has been awesome. It has cleared me up and I'm upset that I didn't go on it sooner. I'd have a lot less scarring and be a whole lot happier. I'm going to consult with my derm on my next appointment about scar treatments and post about what she says and how much they will cost me.

appenyere

appenyere

05/25/2015

 

The Beginning

Hey there! I thought I'd begin a blog to detail my experience with back acne and Accutane since I don't see much about body acne on here. I first started to develop acne on my back when I was in 8th grade (13 years old), and since then it has just been a nightmare for me. I haven't taken my shirt off in public since then. I began my Accutane course on March 3, 2015. Really, my acne isn't as bad as others on here, but I do have a lot of scarring from waiting so long to treat it which leads to my confidence issues. I am very thankful that the acne did not affect my face in any way, solely just my back for some reason. The medicine has been working; the active acne on my back has definitely diminished. I am only worried about the scarring. I have scars everywhere on my back and I'm extremely worried that they won't go away. What has really depressed me about the whole situation is someone I loved broke up with me because of my lack of confidence, but that is what spawned me to finally take action against it. My experience with Accutane has been pretty okay. The first month I had extremely dry skin on my face. I used excessive amounts of lotion and I coped. The second month was pretty rough, I'm not sure if it was the medicine but I felt extremely depressed and even had thoughts of suicide (mind you, I have had a history of depression -- not the first suicidal thoughts I've ever had). Tomorrow marks my 3rd month of treatment. I'm really hoping I can get through this, and I am sincerely hoping that I can do something about the scarring. I hope these entries will possibly help someone in similar situations in the future. I am posting pictures of my progress in my gallery if you'd like to check that out. Any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. Here's to healthier skin!

appenyere

appenyere

05/03/2015

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