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Please I Need Advice Somone Who Understands ......

hello , i have been suffering from acne since 2nd grade ..... i know i was like 7 . and it only go worst at fisr in 2nd grade i would only have it on the top of my forehead and it got worst going ont to 3rd 4th 5th .... it has been all over my forehead and with scaring already like big pores and thing in 5th grade i sarted to get back acne and not as badd yet .... 6th i got pimple all over my face but as if any normal teen would then going on to my 7th grade yeah acne took over my life .... i had big big cyst and innerr pimples all over my checks forhead chin neck back arms chest legs i know how is that possible i still feel ewwwwwwwwwwww about myself anyways i had friends and a lot kinda but they would be like talking to me and be all cool but when their with someone else they see me and pretend not to see me ... or when im walking and how people look at me ... then i started to se makeup and made me feel more shitty about myself oh yeah by the way ive been bulied since 2nd garde i still remmber everytime i look in the mirror or get out of the shower without my makeup i hear every word ever said to me i still remmber the first time in 2nd grade i got made fun off .. and i repeat it to myself as if i deseve it was "it looks like a bunny scratched your face " i know should rediclous but it hurts and in 7th the making fun of got worsts they would say "connet the dots" , or be like cant you buy proactive for that " its not that expinsevie" , or just simply moock me ... or calll me ugly and many other things i dot have the guts to wwrtie about ... ive never ammited to myself i have depression ... i have tried killing myself and feel shtiiy but that no the end ... i would pop my pimples and that left big big big big scaring all over my face and in 8th grade i would wear alot of makeup and this guy told me one time beaus eof my acne and makeup to go wash my face and they would laugh the lookks of people is what i neevr forget thought the most hurtful ...anyways im in 9th grade now .. i have sevre scaring and i hate going to school or wearing makeup i have always looked down everytime i pass by a guy or a prettty girl or anyone .... people that ttalk to me in class and all nice when they see me out of class i smile to them and they pretend they dont see me and i hate how my friends (btw there all ppretty) complain about of insurce they are about there face or their ugly . infornt of me like really would you like to trade ??? and i weell like i dont know how to describe how i feeel because ive never spoken to it eveyrone choses my feeling for me i love my mom and she always has loved me and dose everything in the world for me she poossibly can but .... she thinks im so strong and forge tthings but i dont i vcant i fucken cant i guess im depressed maybe you cant see it in mywritting but i hate haveing scars .... when i was in 7th i use to clean my face with alcohol buring and proxide and other thing thinking ill go away ....im going to sart acutanee sooon hopefully it gets rid of my back chest arms and legg acene ): ): ): after that laser but like i hate having to go to school like that like the looks idk i cry everynight i just feel so shitty about myself like so much i dont know how to say ive never talked about it and sorry for the lack of details and im 14 now turing 15 in auguts please help i just someone to understandd ......................




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