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Ellie's Blog

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Entries in this blog

 

Slippery Slope

Yep, I slipped up... but on the other hand it wasn't too bad. My biggest problem with picking is the shame I get afterwards and it usually doesn't go away until the picked areas have healed, but this time it was quite mild. It started with a random attack at a blackhead under my chin, which was utterly pointless...making me go searching for something else, so I sqeezed a closed comedone in my hairline. It popped really well so I went for another one and wasn't so lucky. Fortunately it was in my

elliew8

elliew8

06/21/13

 

Well Yeah...duh

I have come to the realisation that I can actually stop picking...it sounds obvious I know. Any previous futile attempts were merely wishful thinking, as a way to just convince myself that I was trying not to pick, and I think the reason I failed every time was because although I hoped I could stop picking, I didn't actually believe it. Now I know that I'm not cured...but I feel like there should be a 'yet' at the end of that statement. The thing is I know that picking is quite a deep psyc

elliew8

elliew8

06/18/13

 

Aversion Therapy

I am happy to report that since my last post there have been no major picking incidents. Admittedly I have picked a small whitehead and 2 comedones but I'd class these as pretty insignificant. Which leads me to believe that snapping an elastic band on my wrist actually works! Hurrah! The first time I tried this it was with a hair band and I only pinged it when I wanted to pick and it wasn't very effective. This time around I am using an elastic band (which hurts A LOT more than a hair band!) and

elliew8

elliew8

06/17/13

 

Mirror, Mirror, On The Wall

I'm still trying to resist the temptation to pick and somehow managing to stop myself...although if I keep looking in the mirror to check on the progress of the 2-in-1 comedone I'm going to end up messing with it. I don't understand why I feel the need to keep looking in the mirror though, it's like putting cake in front of someone on a diet! and yet I just stopped typing to look in my compact - what's wrong with me!!! One thing that worked last night though was firmly clamping my hands to

elliew8

elliew8

06/14/13

Last Reply:
06/14/13

 

Temptation

So I picked the near-corner-of-mouth spot...it was hurting quite a lot and needed to relieve some of the pressure, I then looked at the rest of my skin and avoided picking the ominous bump above my eyebrow but apparently couldn't resist a little comedone that was jutting out of my forehead. 2 spots...I can deal with that - not great but not a disaster. Also luckily I think the comedone was ready because the dot left behind is so tiny that I haven't even bothered with concealer. However aft

elliew8

elliew8

06/13/13

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06/14/13

 

Testing Times

Perhaps the bump is finally going...wooohooo! It's stil quite tender if I prod it but facial expressions are now pain-free so I'm not complaining too much. The skin is getting a bit flakey so soon the remaining redness should be gone too, just got to leave it alone to flake off by itself. I did wake up in a bit of a panic this morning though, I saw a red circle in the same place as the bump but above the other eyebrow was highly unamused but only examined the area when I washed my face wi

elliew8

elliew8

06/12/13

 

Bumpy Ride

So I haven't posted since Thursday and the main reason is because I've been feeling awful about my skin I was doing so well and then Friday morning I woke up with a painful cyst right above my eyebrow...which is making me realise that I'm getting better at not picking but as soon as I get a bigger spot it's like I go into overdrive and start panicking. I tried to wait until I got into work before messing with it but instead I poked it with a pin A LOT before I even left the house. I'm so

elliew8

elliew8

06/11/13

 

Just A Hiccup

Things are going pretty well so far after yesterday's slip up picking the nostril pore, it got a bit swollen later in the day so I squeezed it and lots of gunk came out (very gross I know!) then last night it still felt like there was something lurking inside so I squeezed again and the last of it shot out (haha so disgusting yet so satisfying - I have issues)...when I woke up this morning it had gone down so now there is a small coverable scab, woop! So in spite of slipping up yesterday,

elliew8

elliew8

06/06/13

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06/06/13

 

Plain Sailing

Ok so it all feels a bit too good to be true at the minute and it's rather unsettling! I'm not used to feeling so carefree about my skin and not wearing a scrap of make up, it's such a good feeling and makes me realise it's so worth the effort of not picking. Even though I have a couple of comedones on my forehead I'm managing to ignore them. I know that I can't get complacent because it's often the case that I revert back to my old habits when I'm least self-aware. I am really trying not to pic

elliew8

elliew8

06/05/13

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06/06/13

 

Holiday High

So I'm back from holiday BOOOOOO! but on the plus side I'm experiencing post-holiday skin which means I'm feeling pretty good...when I was on holiday I got 2 painful ones with a pore which is usually how my skin purges in the sun, but luckily when I picked them (in the least damaging way) they went down without a scab woo! I also picked 2 minor blackheads on my chin that kind of dried up and didn't scab then 2 small whiteheads on my forehead that left a tiny dot of blood...It may sound like I fa

elliew8

elliew8

06/04/13

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06/05/13

 

Epic Fail

So cold turkey didn't work out well for me...long story short I felt a massive cyst coming up right in the middle of my forehead yesterday and got so frustrated (but also knew picking it would end up in a huge mess) that I ended up picking the rest of my forehead to shreds. BAD TIMES It felt like the universe was trying to screw me over the minute I decided I wasn't going to pick, I think the universe is a fan of irony. Ok so I know it was terrible to pick 5 other small unnoticeable spots

elliew8

elliew8

05/29/13

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05/29/13

 

No More Justification

Ok so I've been faced with a dilemna since the benzoyl peroxide I ordered arrived early...on the one hand I know that it works well, but on the other hand I know that it never makes me 100% clear and I don't think my skin warrants using it again. I'm going to persevere and try and go on holiday and forget about it...although taking apple cider vinegar in a 100ml bottle in my hand luggage is sure to raise a few eyebrows - taking a bottle of urine onto the plane eh! lol On a positive note I

elliew8

elliew8

05/28/13

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05/28/13

 

Trying To Stay Optimistic

Ok so since my last post it's been a bit of a struggle... the boyfriend's been away and my skin hasn't been great, bad combination for not picking! Luckily I have managed to only keep it to a few individuals as opposed to a face full of scabs. That's optimism I suppose - even though I've picked, I can still appreciate that it could always be worse! Although I am slightly worried that I've scarred myself...the 2 spots on my forehead that I messed with are looking much better (not raised or

elliew8

elliew8

05/24/13

 

Angry Angry

Well I had a lovely weekend and stayed relatively clear...however I got really angry on saturday night with my boyfriend and because he was drunk and feel asleep I had so much anger that didn't have an outlet which led to me taking it out on my skin. I was lucky that I was tired because I only have one disaster zone but jheez is it sore! There was a cluster of about 4 small clogged pores just above my eyebrow near my hairline and I really went to town on them, 2 came out no problem but the other

elliew8

elliew8

05/20/13

 

Everybody Else...

Ok so lately I've been quite active on the site and reading a lot of blogs and forums (social life has been a bit slow!) and it seems to me that there's a massive psychological difference between teens and adults attitudes to acne. I don't mean to sound patronising AT ALL here because frankly I remember what it was like when I was younger suffering with spots. I've noticed that in posts and blogs by younger people I can see the desperation jumping out of the screen...don't get me wrong, the oldi

elliew8

elliew8

05/16/13

 

Start Of Success?

So I can't tell if the new regimen is actually working or if I'm just imagining things! It's way too early to decide either way yet but I'm feeling a little more optimistic than usual so I'm quite happy to go along with it even if it is just the placebo effect. In terms of breakouts (touch wood) I've had one very insignificant-not worth picking spot and had an already-formed clogged pore dry up which I scratched off and then upon inspection saw the little plug which I managed to GENTLY squeeze o

elliew8

elliew8

05/15/13

 

Onwards And...onwards

I am happy to report that since my last post I have had no MAJOR picking sessions...I am still breaking out all on my forehead and have been compelled to do some damage control but overall I've not felt the need to lock myself in the house for the next week whilst it settles down...huh in fairness I did go to town on a spot on the side of my head and it's very red, very scabby and hard to cover, which makes me realise that I'm more affected by my acne depending on where it is on my face...if the

elliew8

elliew8

05/14/13

 

Here's Hoping!

I haven't posted in so long, feels like forever! I have had exams, an interview for a promotion and a holiday as pretty good excuses! I've been so focused on other things but now everything has settled down it's time for a bit of self indulgent venting! So I've had a mixture of really stressful and really relaxing since the last post which means my skin has been a bit up and down too...I've come to realise that when I'm stressed I don't really pick much even though I break out more which is we

elliew8

elliew8

05/09/13

 

Falling Off The Wagon...

OK so it's been a while since my last post, mainly because I've been struggling with my skin (STILL!) since I stopped using BP and am trying to stop picking despite lots of temptation! I'm still determined I won't go back to BP, not because it didn't work but because my skin is different now - more breaking out on my forehead but the acne is different, not so angry! It seems like when I was on BP I didn't like the thought of using it, considering it bleached every towel and bed sheet I own I dre

elliew8

elliew8

03/19/13

 

Controlling The Control Freak!

So yesterday I was having too much fun in the snow to post plus had the in-laws round for dinner so didn't have much time to post. Alas I still found time to pick though...in fairness it started with an inflamed whitehead and those suckers just need to go! But then it went onto a raised blackhead just under my chin. I think the only reason I carried on picking was because I never get the satisfaction of seeing a root or hearing a pop with whiteheads which sounds disgusting. I may have had a

elliew8

elliew8

01/21/13

Last Reply:
01/22/13

 

Bad Times, Good Times

Well I'm feeling a tad guilty for not posting yesterday hence this very late night post now! So starting where I left off... I actually managed pretty well not touching my face, not perfect but definitely an improvement. After the event though I 'had' to pick two tiny spots on my forehead (the one I freaked out about on he train and another mini whitehead) but went to bed a little drunk and not so defeated. When I woke up they were coverable so I wasn't too disappointed in myself but then for so

elliew8

elliew8

01/20/13

 

On A Mission!

So yesterday and today have been very interesting. I flew to Germany yesterday with a monstrosity on my cheek and almost as predicted it had swollen by the time I got to my hotel, which led to me picking it of course. Nothing particularly came out except puss so I cut my losses and decided to 'work' on the rest of my poor old face. Picked so many that I lost count, thankfully though "touch wood" I didn't do too much damage anywhere else. Awoke in the middle of the night to go to the toilet

elliew8

elliew8

01/17/13

Last Reply:
01/20/13

 

And So It Begins...

I'm a first timer on this site but I've been visiting for a looooooong time now. Just a bit of history: I've probably had spots since I was about 13 so going on 8 years now. I used to use benzoyl peroxide which seemed to keep everything under control but I was still getting spots and was fed up of bleaching my sheets/ towels and even eyebrows! My skin isn't that bad it but it's mainly down to being a complete control freak and perfectionist. I'm not feeling sorry for myself here - there's a

elliew8

elliew8

01/16/13

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