Hey ya'll! sorry I haven't updated in 7 weeks, I have been busy with school and stuff. Now who wants to hear the good news?.....
I do, has anyone heard any good news about my face yet?
I am still waiting patiently for that wonderful morning where I wake up to clear skin, I am unsure if I'm doing something wrong, it's been like 2 months and I still see no positive results *cries* my face itches like hell, I don't know if I am putting on to much, It doesn't seem like I am..pea size right? *itches face once more* maybe that's to much? my face feels a bit smoother (still has bumps here and there) but if you look at it, it's appears to be the same as I started, just smoother and itchy and peely. I am going to continue using it though, still to soon to see actual improvement, also the fact that the tube of Tazorac cost like 800 dollars without insurance I paid 60$...still to much, so i'm not wasting it. I have basically given up on all hope of social interactions, I hate make-up, it makes me look worse....so I never fix myself anymore, I've given up on looking normal. *cries* I'm not going to promise ASAP updates, I usually forget, so TTYL kids.
So far I am absolutely miserable, my skin has never been this bad, I am dealing with inflamatory acne that's red bumpy, and all over my once clear face. I have grown accustomed to my now terrible itchy skin and have learned to tune out the negative thoughts, but today after 4 months of dealing with this I had an emotional break down, I am so tired of having my acne hold me back, I used to think I was pretty, and I was! Now I look at my photos from a year ago and I cry...Most people would complain if they have a wrinkle here and there and look back at photos when they where 16 when their skin was nicer, I am 16 and I am looking back at photos when I was 15 and had "perfect" skin. There are alot of other things that are bothering me about my appearance that are not acne related, I have stretch marks, & cellulite. It's like you take a girl that is slightly above average and add every "ugly" thing to her face and body (pimples literaly covering her face, stretch marks gained from growing up to fast, and cellulite from gaining weight.) and you get me! fabulous right? now you may say "get over it, atleast you don't have some rare conditon that makes you age prematurely" or something like that. let me tell you something, that person most likely was born with that conditon, I on the other hand have always been "normal" looking, some say even pretty...and then this is what happens a year later? I have every right to be upset! I look in the mirror and all I see is acne, don't give me that bullsh!t that i'm insecure, i'm tired of people who don't even know me telling me this, insecure is when you don't like who you are, acne is not part of who I am, I love my face without it!
So now that you have gotten to know me I'm going to talk about the remedies I have used to help clear my face, benzoyl peroxide and other on the counter things, even bought a acnefree kit, didn't work for me. Went to a doctor and they prescribed me a antibiotic pill (forgot the name) and clindamyacin phosphate, at first clindmayacin was working in some ways...others not so much...I didn't know what I was doing wrong, so after a month of that I quit and my doctor prescribed me the famed Tazorac, let me tell you about this product, the reviewers that say it will work overnight ovbiously have no clue what they are talking about, on the 3rd day i got frustrated with it and put a little more than a pea size, BIG mistake. I woke up next morning with swollen, sore, chapped and severly dry lips, as for my face..it was itchy and red but not as bad as my lips...till this day my lips have healed but it has left a red mark over my upper lip (like i've been drinking red koolaid) but worse, it hasn't gone away it looks as if it is burnt...which is strange because i never put Tazorac on my lips (ovbiously) my pimples are redder and peeling also bleeding because of stratching it(it itches bad habit, I know) and I'm paranoid that if I go outside in the sun (according to someone on here) I will get wrinkles prematurely if I don't use this special kind of sunscreen (forgot the name) that they don't sell in the us, wow. that's just so wonderful, thanks for the info, not like i'll be able to find this sunscreen now that's just plain scary that retinoids have the power to age you ahead of time due to sun exposure, anyways if it does work in 3 months time it's worth the side effects..Just right now though the negative outweighs the postitive, and i'm not jumping out of my chair in joy that my face looks like the surface of mars. OKAY. I wrote enough for a day, will update this blog when I start seeing changes (good or bad) within a week. Since it's gotten this bad might as well stick with it to the end and see what happens, if this doesn't work my doctor said she will get me to see someone that actually specializes in facial stuff (dermatologist)