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Entries in this blog

 

Learning To Walk Again

Hi Everyone, It has definitely been awhile since I have posted anything here. However, my absence is not due to traumatic experiences, or any difficult situations. Rather, it is due to the opposite. Since I began another year at university I have found myself faced with two mirrors within four feet of each other I know its over kill but they're attached to the walls and I don't have much say in them being there. Also, there is a boy. >/////< He has actually been a major pillar of

Picky Nicki

Picky Nicki

10/09/12

Last Reply:
10/09/12

 

Baby Steps

Hey there, This will be quick because I am exhausted. So my skin is improving, the skin cleanser and shea butter (which I'm switching for something else for a trial run) has been really helping. I still pick ... BUT!! BUT! BUT! BUT! I have realised that cold turkey only adds to the stress! So, instead I've been working on reducing the amount of times I pick, the duration, and the amount of zits. And slowly, but surely, my picking has decreased and stayed in its reduced state, (minor incr

Picky Nicki

Picky Nicki

09/06/12

 

Once You Have Cried A River.....

Everything is in point form; I'm not done loathing myself. - got home looked into the mirror and LOST IT Can't explain it, just got into a head space and nothing I did could wrench me out of it FUCKED up my face. And cried, and cried, and cried, and cried, and cried. I disappointed everyone, including myself. I OBLITERATED any progress I made as well as my self-esteem toward body image I feel ugly, and so ashamed of myself. the elastic snapping no longer works and

Picky Nicki

Picky Nicki

08/25/12

Last Reply:
08/27/12

 

Dusting Off

Hey everyone! It is *counts on fingers* day 11 of my journey and despite my little hiccup things have started off again well. Day 9 was VERY difficult, as my picking had all but reversed my small, but crucial progress. Starting again was much more difficult but necessary! My face is healing well, though I leaned heavily on my family with the appearance of a very deep, very large, and very painful zit on my upper cheekbone. Perhaps one of the largest I have ever had, it swelled rapidly and s

Picky Nicki

Picky Nicki

08/19/12

Last Reply:
08/22/12

 

....sigh....

Bad day today, so I'll keep it brief. My bad day started at work... I felt sick to my stomach all day, even though it wasn't anything serious, just made a mistake. Came home and my sister was incredibly rude to me and then to my friend (who has self-esteem issues) and the thing fucking escalated into a cluster-fuck. SIGH. I broke my rules and I picked at my face. I feel like a huge fuck up and I just want to be left alone. Eight days, nothing. And then I fuck up. Today was just bad in general.

Picky Nicki

Picky Nicki

08/16/12

Last Reply:
08/19/12

 

ಠ_ಠ Tough

Hi Everyone, I apologise for the absence the last few days, I have been working a lot and thus been incredibly tired; the disgusting humidity doesn't help things. I am going to keep this pretty brief so that I can sleep soon.... I feel like an Old lady. Today is the fifth day of my journey and I have to say that since day three, things have been much more difficult that I would have thought. It was my understanding that the first days were the hardest and then things eased up, howeve

Picky Nicki

Picky Nicki

08/14/12

 

The Night Is Darkest Before The Dawn

Today is day two, and I have to say that despite being in an absolutely foul mood; I'm proud of myself. I was able to go the whole day without picking. However, due to the fact that I am in a bad mood I am going to keep things very brief. - Didn't pick today in the shower, which is one of the main places that I pick. - my GP is a useless, unprofessional twat. (I don't really want to get into details but he basically treated me like an idiot and was rude the entire time.) - Got home fro

Picky Nicki

Picky Nicki

08/10/12

Last Reply:
08/14/12

 

A Journey Begins With A Single Step

Today has been quite exhausting. I got very little sleep last night and woke early to face the consequences of last nights picking. It was not a pretty sight. I was so ashamed and disgusted at myself. My face had been healing and then suddenly, BOOM! I'd pick, and pick, and pick until my bloody was bloody and marred. Then I decided that was that! And I began to construct my path. First, I popped an elastic band on my wrist, a form of negative reinforcement. If I pick then I snap the elastic

Picky Nicki

Picky Nicki

08/09/12

Last Reply:
08/10/12

 

It Begins Now

I begin this journey now. And all I can hear in my head are the words that Frodo says to Sam; words Bilbo told him years before, "Its a dangerous business, going out your door. If you don't watch where you step there's no telling where you may go." I think that these words may be quite appropriate to heed as I begin my own journey. To begin; I have terrible OCD, a diagnosis made alongside of ADHD and Depression. I am in control of my ADHD and depression through the use of medication and the

Picky Nicki

Picky Nicki

08/08/12

Last Reply:
08/09/12

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