First and foremost, I want to thank you for taking the time to follow my blog. This blog will not only help me, but my main goal is to reach out to others in hopes of finding the strength to pull through the obstacles of dealing with dermatillomania.
A little about my story...
I can always remember having an odd obsession about my skin, and as years progressed it has only gotten worse. I've always been concerned about making sure my skin was in the absolute best shape possible. In reality, I never had bad or breakout prone skin. In fact, I have great skin! However, I find any flaw to pick, pull, squeeze, and scratch. From the time I was in 8th grade until my current age of 21, skin has been my thing- my obsession.
had very mild acne in high-school due to hormonal changes that everyone goes threw and I quickly grew out of it. Although, the occasional pimple would set me off into thinking I had horrible skin problems. So, the year after I graduated from high-school, was when I begged a random dermatologist to put me on accutane. To this day, I still can not believe that she willingly prescribed me this drug. It may have looked like I had acne, when in reality they were just stubborn scabs and red marks from me picking at my skin- I obviously fooled her. I went on accutane and it took care of the urge to perfect my skin because this drug was already doing that. Things were great for a while and I had no worry that my obsession would ever come back - I spoke too soon.
I was really bad about taking my birth control pill faithfully, so I decided to go off of it and switch to a different method. As soon as I went off of the pill, I got a tiny (really tiny) rash on my forehead and nose. I knew it was just the hormones going out of whack, and I needed a few months to have them even out, but this was enough to throw me back into my skin obsession. I started getting really close to the mirror to find any imperfections that I could possibly get rid of. Whether it be a dead piece of skin, a little black head, or even a tiny raised bump- anything would set me off into a picking rage. In reality, I would just make it 100 times worse, but there was nothing that could stop me. These behaviors made me feel like I had lost control of myself. Why couldn't I just stop, why couldn't I just walk away from the mirror? I have never experienced anxiety until these last two years of dealing with dermatillomania.
This has been such a burden in my life and so here I am creating this blog in order to help other people realize that they are not alone. I'm here to share my story of struggle and passion of what has and hasn't worked for me- and encourage you to do the same!
This is my life with dermatillomania and I am slowly and surely overcoming it- Welcome everyone!