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long road...

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Day 50-40Mg. Breakout Worsens.

ok sooo i had to post again today because this breakout is only getting worse. yes i did pop a couple so thats why they are red but they were massive whiteheads and throbbing. these pictures are soo yucky. but this captures the worse breakout i've had on accutane and im on day 50 i guess this is normal because everyone is different but this is really the worst my skin has been in the past couple months. my first month and a half were great and now explosion... these spots just hurt so bad and are so big that i can feel them on my face at all times its hard to think about anything else. i can't cover these up with makeup because it cakes on even w/ a ton of lotion and b/c my face flushed and gets hot easily now the makeup looks like a different color which is annoying idk. ughh clear skin where are youu....

leopard1

leopard1

05/01/2012

 

Day 49 40Mg- Breakout W/ Updated Pics

Hello all, good afternoon or good morning for me. i'm working nights for the next month for work so my body will be totally wacky, hah. oh well better money. Skin: So as the title says i'm experiencing a breakout on both sides of my cheeks, worse on the R side w/ 4 red red med-large spots, i think 2 are just marks but they have gotten redder over the past day. the L side has just 2-3 that aren't bad. chin and forehead are clear except for large pores and blackheads on forehead. large pores and lingering blackheads on front of cheeks and nose. i'm guessing this is from the increased dose t0 40mg (today is day 19 of 40mg but 49 of total course). i noticed a breakout and the more side effects 20 days into the start of the course and this is roughly the same but the side effects aren't any worse that i can tell. but i've also been eating crappy- ice cream and cake ect. i also started working out last week and i haven't these last couple of months and i was really nervous with all the sweating but i do shower right after. soo idk what this breakout is- hope its just the dosage Side effects: dry lips- not bad, no cracking, just keep aquaphor on at all times to prevent and they get red if i don't. dry hair- can go days without washing but i don't b/c i exercise and get super sweaty and after work i fell gross. kinda dry face after first washing-i washed my face about an hour ago and didn't moisturize yet because i'm gonna workout and it feels tight but no terrible dry and flaky. BUT i do have to blot 1x/day and it covers 1/2-3/4 the sheet, which is weird because i wasn't blotting for a while and now i am again- nowhere near i use to blow 3x/day. sometimes get a bad headache so i have to eat, drink, and coffee, sometimes have to take motrin. back was achy somedays last week but nothing terrible. i still have that occ facial sweating and flushing for no reason= annoying but not terrible. my nose if filled w/ green and bloody boogers a few times a day and i don't have allergies so i'm guessing it's accutane. but no nosebleeds. i've been out in the sun doing work around the yard here and there and the sun kinda feels like it burns if i'm out there for 10 or so minutes but i don't actually burn the skin. but i try to stay in the shade most of the time but the PALENess is killing my- my legs and arms are ghostly and it's may tomorrow greaty summer right around the corner, whichi s annoying. idk what i'm gonna do about everyone going to the beach and outside all summer, like how many excuses can i come up with. ugh. my next appointment is may 11th to start my 3rd month, WOWO, crazy. idk if i'll stay at 40 or increase to 60mg i guess we'll see thanks for reading

leopard1

leopard1

04/30/2012

Last Reply:
05/01/2012

 

Derm Apt For Accutane Didn't Go So Well..vent Session, Sry

ok need a vent session: Okay so today was suppose to be my 2nd blood test and derm apt to put me on accutane, BUT it's only been 29 days and not 30= annoying because i called the docs office when it was scheduled and said "its only 29 days the doc told me it HAS TO BE 30 or after" oh no no no you're totally fine, we're not open on saturday's so you can come Friday, i was skeptical but i'm like these ppl deal with this all the time so they know what they're doing right? WRONG. so i had my appointment but i have to do my blood test Monday, ugh. stupid secretaries, i knew i was right and will never trust them again (no offense to anyone on here that does admin work, sry) just frustrating. now the appointment...1st the doctor said oh let me make sure i registered you b/c i might have forgot.... WHAT?! phew.. she did register me. however... my cholesterol has been up and down over the past couple years, now i'm 24F, 120lbs, 5/5, actually underweight according to me PCP who yelled at me in Dec. i work out, i don't eat a lot of cholesterol foods, so obv its genetics (DUH my mom and papa have high cholesterol). ok so anyway she said to work out because once my chole goes above 240 she stops accutane. JUST GREAT because mine has ALWAYS been 180-204. i don't know what else i can do to lower it except go on meds @ 24, crazy. i knew accutane messed w/ your cholesterol but i'm just super discouraged now because she made it seem like it's my fault, ridiculous and basically said she's gonna have to stop my accutane because i think it will obviously go up. now idk what to do, it's going to be soooo annoying if i go on accutane and have to come off in 1-2months, what do i do then. Has anyone else has issues w/ high cholesterol before or during accutane?? i'd really love to hear how it worked out?? then she apparently thought i was on accutane before because i was registered. i explained my last derm wanted to put me on and we did the blood work, paperwork, ect but i decided not to. and she drilled me about it. " WHY?" i just told her i talked to my husband and family and thought it wasn't right for me at the time, which is true looking back my face really was starting to do well on tretinoin (minus being oily). and then she's like well does your family know now maybe you should talk to them. LISTEN LADY, i'm 24, have a career and a house i think i can make my own decisions, obv my husband knows and my family does b/c they've seen how upset my face has made me these last couple months and agree w/ me that it's getting worse. DONT QUESTION ME, i'm can make decision, i'm a big girl. i'm gonna pay for it. ugh anyway sorry for the rant but i'm just annoyed that she questioned me on so many things and it seemed like she was attacking me. i now have to wait until Monday to get my blood work and then tues for results so hopefully i'm starting accutane next week? maybe? i told her a low dose is good for now pending how my acne is and labs or whatnot. because as far as my face goes, it's not terrible. but i am getting 1-4 new pimples every day. some aren't bad, just whiteheads or clogged pores, but at least 1 red red bump a day. PLUS all the red marks/hyperpigmentation makes it look worse and i'm still really oily by mid-day, oil has decreased on' spiro but not where i'd like it to be. my face feels a little smoother too, which is nice. just the redmarks/hyperpigment is what really kills me i think. i wouldn't mind the pimples if they didn't leave these marks and make everything look way worse. a couple pimples=okay but PLUS all the marks that makes me looks like i have a face full of pimples= NOT okay. i know marks fade w/ time but i hear accutane helps heal them faster, is this true??? anyone? as far as my regimen goes, i'm still taking spiro 100-150mg 1x/day. then using DKR cleanser, moisturizer, and BP as only a spot treatment (working ok). obv i'm still getting zits so it's not totally working. still going through ups and down, one day 1 pimple, the next day 4-5. crazy... i really haven't been able to pin point a cycle w/ my acne or whats aggravated/causes it, wish i knew. i mean overall reading back this post it's not terrible and things could be worse. but i'm still cancelling on friends and not going out and doing things i want to because i'm so self conscious. i mean c'mon everyone looks at your face when your interacting with them, it's what they see most. it's honestly giving me anxiety to talk to me ppl face to face at work and outside my house, even w/ makeup on. i'll post when i finally know whats going on. thanks for checking in!

leopard1

leopard1

03/09/2012

Last Reply:
03/09/2012

 

Not Getting My Hopes Up

Hello all, okay so i'm still on 100mg spiro 1x/day, but i have been taking an extra 50mg a couple of days a week because my face is still super oily but my spots seem to be clearing up (cross my fingers and hence the title not getting my hopes up). i feel like every time i make progress something always sets me back, BUT i should not think like that. i'm not using any topicals for the past 2 weeks other than acne.org face wash and moisturizer. over the past couple days I have been using acne.org BP as a spot treatment on a few spots I have and my forehead. as far as spots go, i have a couple healing on my R cheek and 3 new ones on my L cheek and chin, i still have several whiteheads as well. BUT my skin is nowhere near as rough as it was a few days ago, the under the skin bumps and roughness seems to be fading, hope it lasts. and my overall tone of my skin is evening out, of course i still have redness and some dark spots but it's less angry. i still wake up with new pimples ever day, i mean some of them are big, some ehh not a big deal. my face is still oily even though i've been trying to be really simple w/ my regimen. i stopped using my dermablend cover stick to cover up zits about a 1 week ago because i found out it had mineral oil it it!!! wow i thought i would have looked into that more, crazy. my skin feels slightly less oily since then, probably more mental though. i still blot 2-3x/day and re apply powder. so as far as makeup goes i use bare minerals concealer powder and loose powder foundation from them as well in matte, it's not great coverage, you can still see the uneven texture and tone but it feels better on my face, light weight. i've been using it for over a year now. i only use makeup when i'm going out of the house. when i'm at home i'm bare face i have to confess though, i had these annoying flesh colored bumps on my forehead, like 7-8, and i've had them for weeks now and they wouldn't go away, not terribly noticeable straight on but definitely in lighting. soooooo i popped most of them last night, woops. but honestly they are barely any raised bumps now and you can't even tell i did anything to them because they were all blackheads/whiteheads, they were super easy to pop and this hard sticky brown/white goop came straight out, not puss at all (sorry i know its gross). but now my forehead feels really smooth. i mean they have been there for weeks and they were obviously not going anywhere until i helped them and not its better, my forehead has never been a problem before the last couple of weeks so it was annoying because my chin and cheeks were red and pimples and now my forehead was too. i don't recommend popping and i don't usually anywhere else on my face but these were so stubborn and i would totally do it again. i'm still planning on starting accutane next month, appt march 9th. even if my skin gets better over the next couple weeks i'm so scared i'll relapse and go backwards like i've done lately and then i'm screwed because i wait another 2 months. i'm just gonna go for it no matter what, even though i contemplate daily. as far as emotions go, my skin feels good today so i feel good. it's so crazy how my skin controls my mood. my husband is the most amazing person and constantly comments on how beautiful i am. i am soooo lucky to have him and i need to do something super special for him because he has been my rock and if i didn't have him i don't know what i would have done over this last year. oh and btw i hate proactiv commercials. it's on as i'm writing this, totally off topic (kinda), but they're pics are absolutely ridiculous and there is no way that they're products are doing what the ppl say, they obviously have a ton of makeup on and you can tell, there is no way someone looks that good. i'm glad if proactiv works for some but they are on the TV seriously ever 5minutes. ok sorry for the rant. so all in all, good progress as of now. hope it continues and gets better and better. thanks for listening.

leopard1

leopard1

02/23/2012

Last Reply:
02/24/2012

 

Ups And Downs

Hello, update on 9 weeks spiro 100mg 1x day, been off differin for about 2 weeks (made my skin FREAK OUT or thats what the derm thinks i hope shes right- pics are in gallery). i've also been off birth control for about 6 weeks. i was using tretinoin 0.1% before my face erupted every night but my derm told me not to use anything because she wants my skin to calm down since the differin last week. but i did use it maybe twice over these last 2 weeks, only a verrry verry small amt on my problem area. other than that i'm just doing spiro and lotion and makeup ok so the beginning of this week wasn't that bad for my skin, i had a couple of actives but nothing terrible, i was getting my confidence back and doing more stuff, i felt good about myself. but by the end of the week my skin has been getting worse, yesterday and today i've had several more actives (mostly smal-med pustules w/ white heads). my skin tone is overall less red, but i'm fairly pale this time of year so all the pimples look even redder. my forehead looks good, 2-3 small skin colored zits but nothing major they don't even bother me. every time i make progress i'm let down. what does bother me however is how bumpy my skin feels when washing me face or putting lotion on because i have several slightly raised pinky-red zits on either side of my cheek, you can see them more in the light that they are raised but not terribly noticeable looking straight on, just pink-red. my L cheek is still the worst blotchy and red and more actives on that side. i have to admit i did pop some large whiteheads because i can't go out of the house like that, i only pop where i know they won't scar, chin area and sides of temples. i know i know i shouldn't but i rarely do i promise. and i would never pop ones on my cheeks because they scar instantly. my hyperpigmentation that i was fighting before this crazy breakout of the last 2 weeks possible look like they may be SLIGHTLY fading, idk if its because i've been preoccupied w/ the redness and active pimples that i'm not only looking at the PIH which is the reason i think, where before i barely had any actives and only the PIH to worry about, ugghh what i would give for that back, i just don't know how to get back to that skin b/c i can't figure out what is the cause of my acne. so i just don't know what to do anymore because my skin is so up and down. i get excited and now i'm disappointed today because my skin looks like its going backward today. i'm sick of this emotional and skin roller coaster. the other thing i was considering is my makeup. i use dermablend cover stick just on the bad areas and bare minerals foundation powder on my whole face, my skin still looks super uneven because i'm bad at makeup and the coverstick doesn't really do too much but i hate makeup. my face is dry in the am but gets super oily all over 5H after i wash so i use blotting papers and then touch up w/ powder. i've been using this for 6+ months now. so i don't think the makeup is my issue because i used it when my face was really clear. I HATE using coverup because i never did before last year and my terrible breakouts. i love my powder b/c of my shiny skin but i've never been good at makeup because i never worse it before. i cannot use liquid foundation nor do i want to because i feel that would just make matters worse and i have oily skin but i think thats the only thing that will get the coverage i want and my skin won't looks so uneven. so i'm wondering if anyone has and tips on covering up this acne w/o causing breakouts, if that is possible?? i know there are threads out there and i've tried to look for something but i'm super nervous about trying something new. if you read my other posts i did sign up to start accutane next month, march 9th is my next blood test, i was hoping that over this next month things would look better so i don't have to go through that but over this last week i cannot wait for accutane because this last year has been complete hell. i feel so trapped. my aunt , now 33, went on accutane late teens early 20s and she's been clear ever since, she is still oily but she said it wasn't as bad as before. so i am hopeful about accutane because we have the same skin type and very similar genetics so i'm thinking it will do the same for me. wow i always have a lot to say apparently. thanks for reading.

leopard1

leopard1

02/18/2012

Last Reply:
02/22/2012

 

Struggling Today

okay so my skin is still about the same, 20 or so red red pimples, and about 3-4 large red on both my cheeks, my face just looks a total mess, the worst its been in a year and i thought it was bad before, hah this takes the cake. im trying not to look in the mirror and just forget about it but ive been super obsessing about my skin this last week because of the dramatic step backwards. i've been just doing spiro 100mg 1x/day and moisturizer for the past 3 days since my derm apt. but i'm nervous because idk if spiro alone will clear me up, i feel like i need a topical so i've been debating on whether to start using the tretinoin (using it before and my face was pretty ok) every other night to try to fight these existing pimples that are so red and everywhere, ughhh. but my derm said that my face may need a break but i just don't see these going away anytime soon, usually it takes 3 weeks or so for these pimples to heal before and that was with tretinoin so now i'm so nervous it's going to take forever. luckily i've had the end of the week off from week so i've just been doing moisturizer and drinking lots of water but my husband is home today and i've never really been self conscious around him but today i'm really struggling with him seeing me like this because it's never been this bad before. i know he won't say anything but i'm in such a bad mood over my skin that i just want to stay in and not do anything because i'm so scared to see anyone like this. i wish i could just sleep all day until this goes away. i put makeup on this morning because of my husband but it looks terrible terrible and i just don't know what i'm going to do for week next week because my skin is going to look like this??!! wow, i think i'm getting depressed. another issue i'm having is i've been waking early, like 6-7am, even though i've been off for a few days and by 7-8pm i'm falling asleep on the couch even when i'm trying to stay awake and then i wake up several times during the night just wide awake and having trouble getting back to sleep. idk if this is anxiety about my skin in the morning and if i'm sleeping i'm not thinking about my skin OR the spironolactone is making me fatigued. anyone else have this problem??

leopard1

leopard1

02/11/2012

 

Derm Apt Went Well

Ok so i went to the derm today, luckily i called and they had a cancellation, maybe my luck is changing, hah. and i have a new derm now because my old one left the office and she is AWESOME, i've never seen her before and she is so cool and funny and spent time listening to me and just seemed like a genuine great person, i saw her interacting w/ staff and other patients when i was leaving and she was just amazingly normal, i'm really looking forward to working with her to clear up my skin... so she thought that the differin is what is causing my most recent severe red inflamed pimples that are covering all along both my cheeks and jaw line, literally this is the worse my skin has ever been (pics in gallery). but its hard to say because i started spiro at the same time and recently quit my birth control as well, yes a lot of changes at once i wish i just started one at a time, this new derm was kinda upset that my old derm put me on two new drugs at once. so anyway, she said to STOP DIFFERIN! which i had last week anyway because i've been so upset and to continue w/ spiro for the next month and in that time we'll know what the culprit was. she was hopeful that spiro alone would clear me up w/o differin causing all this upheaval. but i'm still nervous that spiro won't clear this intense acne up and so i asked about accutane to and she AGREED for me start the accutane process, signing up for ipledge and doing the blood tests today that way just in case next month my skin doesn't improve i don't have to wait another month and if my skin is clear which i still hope spiro will work, we'll scratch the accutane " no big deal" she said i mean can my derm get any cooler than that she said it was a great idea!!!!! i'm feeling a little more optimistic now w/ this new derm and a PLAN except when i look in the mirror, ugghh. i also was using tretinoin for months before differin came along and ruined my life, and i liked the tretinoin although i thought my skin got oily from it, which is why i went on differin in the 1st place, so i asked should i start that back up and she said not to to see what really is causing this acne, but i'm nervous the only thing i'm using now is spiro, no topical because she wants my skin to calm down. so i kinda feel like i'm doing nothing for my skin. but i'm HOPING!!!

leopard1

leopard1

02/09/2012

 

Week 7 On Spiro

Ok so i didn't think my skin could possibly get any worse but it has. i don't even know how i'm going to go into work tonight and interact w/ so many people. i haven't felt this down about my skin since last year. this is my 7th week of spiro, i increased my dose from 100 to 150mg b/c i was still super oily and breaking out. i quit differin after 7 weeks, i know you're not supposed to but i think maybe that could be why my face is going crazy. so i started slowing adding tretinoin back in (i was on this previously and it didn't help w/ chin acne and ? made my face oily) i also quite my birth control about a 5 weeks ago and am wondering if my skin is reacting to that because when i went on it last year my face was like this, i really hope that this is what it is because my face wasn't breaking out until Dec 2010 when i went back on birth control after being off of it for 1.5 years. i really dont know what to do, my derm apt isn't until march b/c of insurance reasons but i really need an apt now to start the process of accutane. i can't take it, there are like 20 red zits on my face on cheeks, some not so noticeable but some med and red red red. i also have some hyperpigmentation that makes everything looks way worse. uggghh i wish i could just sleep until acne went away, i think that's the only time i feel normal. i posted pics in my gallery if you want to see what i'm talking about, my step backwards basically. i called the derm today and explained my situation and there was a cancellation for tomorrow!!!! thank god!

leopard1

leopard1

02/07/2012

 

Introduction

Hello all, I've been using acne.org for a while but am finally joining! i'm sorry if this entry is sooo long, i don't even care if no one reads this but i just have a lot to say and get off my chest because i can't really talk about this to anyone. So my acne story started about a year or so ago really... I had a few spouts of acne in high school, NOTHING major at all just some manageable pimples here and there, always had fairly larger pores w/ some blackheads, didn't even think twice about it. I was on birth control (apri) starting in high school (not for acne) up until last year (Dec 2010) when my acne started, i went off of it because i was sick of taking pills and am hoping to have kids in the next couple years. well literally 1 week after I went off the pill, my face EXPLODED, cysts, several bright red pustules, and white heads primarily on my cheeks and some chin, i didn't know what the heck happened so i related it to coming off birth control w/ hormone shifts and maybe stress of graduating college. but the pimples continued and of course i had to pop and pick them because whenever i had a pimple before i would pop it and then it would go away, no issues. well NOW i am seriously regretting ever touching them because i have several dark brown acne marks on my cheeks that are barely fading, i feel like i'll have them forever well anyway, after i realized this acne was not going away, i tried all OTC and then pro-activ (had worked on my skin before) and nothing works obviously. i was very discouraged because all these things had worked before to manage my skin so I finally made an apt w/ the derm which of course took 2 months, where i was still breaking out w/ terrible awful red pustules and whiteheads. this was an extra awful time because i just passed by RN boards and got a new job, so here i am having to interact w/ my patients and doctors and feeling so self conscious, all i could think about was my skin and it was really affecting me. so i went to the derm (march 2011), she gave me minocycline 100mg x2months and tretinoin 0.5%, i stopped mino after about 2 weeks because it made me sick and i was like great even if this does clear me up once i come off of it what is stopping the acne from coming back?? i liked the tretinoin, it did give me a small IB, but really nothing i wasn't dealing w/ before, and i was hopeful it would fade these brown acne marks. well tret didn't get rid of my marks but ? maybe faded them but it did clear up my cheeks pretty well, but somehow caused major acne on my chin and around my mouth and made my skin super super oily, so i went back to the derm (may 2011) and she offered my accutane, i declined because i didn't think my acne was that bad (wish i had just gone on it then) and wanted to give tretinoin some more time because i kept reading these boards and others saying that it can take months to see results so i did and it kept my cheeks clear but still breaking out terribly on my chin and then my FOREHEAD w/ small flesh colored/whitehead bumps and i had NEVER had any issues w/ my forehead. what really bothered me the most (along w/ red zits) was the OILY OILY skin because my makeup wouldn't stay on and i felt so gross on my face 5H after washing and i'm working 12H shifts and out of the house for 16H a day and can't go around in work w/o makeup i'm just not confident enough because EVERYONE at work clearly has PERFECT skin (well i'm sure not everyone but i feels that way). its so hard because i'll have really good days or weeks and then terrible terrible weeks and i tried to track it against my period but really no relation. oh and i've been on the same birth control this whole time because i kept trying to give it a chance because i was clear on it before and i thought my body had to adjust. i did go to a different derm at one point to see if they could do anything about he acne marks because my derm doesn't do any peels or anything in her office and they offered me smoothbeam and said i should probably try a different birth control, but i was so scared to try a different birth control and still am because of the misery this last year has caused me. i never want to go out, i've basically alienated myself from my friends unless i'm having a good skin day, which i can never tell until the day of so i cancel plans on the time. i'm just so embarrassed and self conscious because i'm 23 and i'm not in high school anymore. all my friends have amazing skin (of course they prob dont' think so), but compared to mine it's flawless. i use to be out w/ friends and family all the time having the best time. but now i'm like a hermit. now all i can think about is sweating would ruin my makeup and make me break out, ill get shiny by this hour, ect. I AM OBSESSED w/ how many hours i wash my face, my makeup on, when i can wash my face again, it's disgusting. literally all i think about is my skin and its ruining my life. luckily i have my husband who is the best support i can ever think of, he never says anything about my face because he said he doesn't notice unless i bring it up and then he listens. but i feel like he might be getting sick of me not wanting to go out and do things and its not fair for him. i forgot to mention that i tried the DKR regimen sept-nov2011 but couldn't handle all the BP, my face was wayyyyyyyyy to dry then it would get oily still in 5H and i couldn't handle it even with a tone of moisturizer. i couldn't laugh and i always had flakes, didn't look good in makeup. i also couldn't do the 10-12H because of work. so it didn't work me for me but i also couldn't follow it exactly as laid out either. i still use the facewash from dan though because its doesn't have any medication and i'm trying to go for simple now. i do use the BP on my forehead, which works pretty good for those small bumps. anyway that was an emotional rant, so back to the derm i went and she said give spiro 50mg 2x/day and put me on differin (to replace tret b/c it was making me oily) (Dec 2011). i didn't want spiro because again like minocycline i didn't want to have to take a pill forever and you can get pregnant on it too. anyways this is the regimen i'm currently on and i know its only been 2 months but my face is breaking out the worst it's ever been in a while. so i went off my birth control 1 month ago jan 2011 to see if thats the problem (i really hope it is) but i just can't take it anymore, i need my life back so i made an apt today w/ my derm, i can't get it until march 13th because my derm moved offices and doesn't except my insurance until then (sooooooo annoying because she wanted to see me the end of this month feb. anyway i'm gonna ask for accutane because i really am sick of trying all this new stuff and just giving it all this time for no results. you can say im impatient but after this year, could possibly be the worst year of my life, i really need results. i need to be happy with my husband and get my friends back on tract, i miss life. until then we'll see how it goes, i still have some hope because i have to, even if i get accutane it won't be until aprilish because of the pregnancy test, its terrible for girls to get accutane. uggh. ok thanks for reading if you did. if not it felt so good anyway to get everything out that i've been talking to myself about for the last year.

leopard1

leopard1

02/04/2012

Last Reply:
02/04/2012

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