i dunno whether its the accutane or what but this is how I've been feeling lately.
As well as having hardly any friends to hang out with, I'm jobless and grounded..
sooo yeah, i get up at like 10 or so in the morning, and have my smoke and coffee. then i feel sooo tired i can hardly walk.
i dont feel like doing anything at all, most days i just lie in bed and do nothing.
i dont really wanna go out or see people...
im just ALWAYS tired
i get these killer headaches that make my eyes so red, and i look like a stoner
man, i just want to to be summer already
my skin is better
i have to go back to the gp in 2 months and then see where we take it from there.
really happy with results so far
sunburn prone skin
depression( a little bit, maybe... could just be my shitty life)
thats about all to report tonight
So I called my GP today and have an appointment for my 2nd month of accutane.
Exciting stuff i know!
So far I've noticed a huge change in my skin!
The redness is pretty much gone, and atm I've got one pimple (it's a big bugger, but it should go away soon)
It's not as good as i want it to be, but it's still early, so hopefully by the end of the course i can finally get into modeling
staying hopeful for better skin.
I've been really depressed lately, and I'm not blaming the accutane for it.. mostly it's my lack of good friends... and being grounded sucks... but mostly it's the fact that every week i hear things people say about me, and conclude: yes, people are freaking horrible animals
You know that movie "Easy A" I know exactly how she feels... I'm just hoping for the ending of that movie to apply to my life.. but sadly, even if i made an online video blog about how those things people say aren't true, people would still talk.. It's like they have nothing else to talk about other than other peoples lives. They should start taking up watching TV maybe, or just getting a life of their own yes, that could work. Bitches
so you know how i got that burn yesterday on my shoulders? well... its gone! didn't hurt at all last night while i was sleeping, and, i have a tan! its amazing! haha its only half way through november and I'm already browning up! thank you accutane!. so now my plan on my tan (oooo poet) is to just tan for 5 minutes maybe like every 2 hours.. maybe less, I'm not sure.. will have to find my balance. but mate am i stoked about that one...
my face is heaps better... gonna start putting sunscreen on under my foundation now, just to make sure... will have to buy a new one though, cause i didn't realize the one i have is Nivea... which i seem to be allergic to. dumb Nivea! If i end up on next top model ( unlikely) I'll go nuts cause all there goodie bags have in it is Nivea. Darn you Nivea!
anyhoe... I'm also trying to eat more healthy stuff... so atm I'm eating a salad for lunch as opposed to my usually cheesey cheesy toastie. . . am trying to cut back on smokes as well, considering all i have is 100 in the bank, and that needs to last till after christmas... (no one is getting store bought gifts from me this year) but luckily I have good bracelet making skills... you know those ones you see on tumblr? lemme find a photo found one! its pretty much what my wrists look like.. i have more though
side note: how awkward is it when you get blood tests to go on accutane and you told your doctor that you have never had depression, and nurse lady pulls up your sleeves and you got a huge amount of scars! sorry doc :s haha
lost track of my days and math doesn't interest me at the moment.
ok so the doc was right! spend 10 minutes in the sun today and burn baby burn! Summer is just around the corner and its gonna really suck with sunblock and red shoulders! I'm also moving to Hastings for a month or so, where my and Velvis (best guy mate) will be working for my uncle. Hastings is one of the hottest places in my country... my friends from there are super tanned... well some of them, Velvis is a bogan, so he's not haha... but yeah... hopefully i wont be a burnt prune when i come home.. cause i will be at the beach every weekend. surfing
anyways! my skin, its waaay less red, so much better... but i still just wanna stay at home and yeah. today i wore a really bright ass top to church, and some killer heals, in hopes to distract people from my face... oh and sun glasses... also as well as dying my hair, I've given myself a fringe cut too... as a distraction... kinda dumb considering the only skin on my face that is perfect is my forehead. Oh well.
oh yes, i lost my job so I am a full time bum! yay!
anyways, will keep you all posted. Dont forget to comment. because i have no job, and i need some entertainment from the outside world
just wanna sleep all day
need to get some inspiration, but i got nothing
Will probably just keep designing tattoo ideas for Velvis (my best guy mate)
my skin is awful. just wanna crawl under a rock till i finish my accutane course.
ok, my face looks a whole bunch better! but i have a slight problem. headaches and migraines are ruining me! just suffered a day at work with a killer head throb and nearly fell asleep driving home. so i went straight to bed and slept it off..
my boss has nicely found out I'm on accutane.. which is just not what i want, considering I've told hardly any of my friends... but my work mate told him, so he had a cool as talk to me about how I'm going to suffer. his wife was on it and bla bla bla.
Oh well. its fine, he told me today that friday is my last day of work. so from then on, I WILL BE A JOBLESS BUM AND EVENTUALLY BE A HOBO (conforming to "hoboism" in most societies is looked down on and fatally dangerous, leading to rejection and crime)
Stress is killing me a little
right, dinner time! meat free goodness please
I'm 18 years old
I'm christian. don't be hating.
I work part time, and bum around the rest of the time... (actually i look for a full time job)
I want to study photography, medical or psychology..
I think I'll go for the photography, not sure yet http://leendersphotography.deviantart.com/
Most of my friends live in other cities, I travel about 4 hours about once a month to hang with my best friends.
I like outdoors and chilling with my animal friends haha.
I'm kinda a girlie looking person, but don't really act girlie.
My favorite colour is pink.
I plan to do modeling when my skin has cleared up
people either love me or hate me... and a lot of people who hate me pretend to love me. (people can be awful)
I ruin relationships with people cause i blow them off when i have a bad skin day. something I don't admit to anyone really.. I've ruined many relationships with guys cause I feel ugly.
I'm usually a happy person. . but yeah...
anyways.. any questions? go nuts... seriously, i have not much better to do haha... i know how many people read my blog so yeah
Oh and here, a photo of me
i missed a day :/ oh well
ive been getting headaches pretty badly. my whole face and head itch. ive got skin flakes in my hair, looks like its been snowing on my head haha.
not much to report. skin is still the same actually. getting a few new little bumps but nothing to serious
my head inches. everything itches. My redness is going away so quickly. used to be such a problem.
my lips are like falling off haha.
still have quite a few bumps, but with the redness gone they're easy to hide under some makeup
being grounded is boring as. been watching big bang theory on my laptop, nearly out of episodes
gotta get out some greys or something from the video shop haha
going to have an alright weekend. looking after my little brother, having my best friend over (and now only friend that i hang out with, cause my dad says im not allowed to see my other mate, cause he thinks he is in love with me and im leading him on)
ahhh! so much drama that i dont need right now. anyways... my skin is dry as! my lips are chapped, getting a break out on my cheek. itchy scalp, flaking too. but the redness is pretty much gone, so all i need too wear is a light powder and i look ok.
got grounded last night :/
(for a month)
... ok, so lifes just fantastic right now! (not really).
had a fall out with a friend, so now i have a total of..(drum roll) 2 friends to hang out with! yuss!!
anyways, onto my ugly face.
woke up with dry skin. my nose is flaking and yuck!
my lips are chapped :/
also, i coloured my hair on saturday to distract people i know from my face. but apparently now i look withdrawn from meth or something. So thankfully i have some sweet hair skills and will pull highlights and pink tones in it
ok that was a long and boring entry, gah sorry
i woke up with really dry skin, but exfoliated and its not so bad now.
lips aren't chapping yet
my skin looks a little bit clearer. the bumps are going down and don't hurt as much as yesterday.
still waiting for that big breakout thing :S
im just loving my papaw ointment right now! I just put it on my lips and skin before bed
yay! still havent seen much change at all. hoping that it will kick in soon dreading that big breakout that everyone says they get :S
thinking maybe i should quit smoking..
cant wait to be social again
soo, my skin looks worse today than it did yesterday. actually, i dont even wanna go in public. i have a party tonight of one of my closest friends and i am dreading it.
my skin is all red and i have massive blobs on my cheeks
am attaching a photo of what i used to look like