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Roaccutane Journey for Pyoderma Faciale

Entries in this blog

 

Day 50!

So today is 'Day 50' and I went back to see my Dermatologist. He had a bit of a stress in that he really wants me to come off of the steroids, but I managed to pursuade him to give me another two weeks prescription of 5mg a day, as I'm so paranoid I'm gonna break out again horrifically when I stop them. He's also upped my Isotetrinoin/Roaccutane/whatever you wanna call it, and from tomorrow I'll be on 60mg a day (scary stuff!). He again confirmed that my treatment will be six months, so by my calculation that brings me to the end of January 2012. Flippin ages yet to wait, but hopefully I'll start to see a difference soon. He did warn me that the dryness will really kick in now, which is only to be expected if we go by other people's blogs. So far I've been ok bar the dry lips, but that's nothing the Vaseline doesn't sort out. As stated previously, I am a little worried about my hair though, but only time will tell as to how much of that comes out. Question - do people get breakouts every time their Roaccutane is increased? If someone can tell me that'd be great, as I would rather be prepared for it. Here's hoping it isn't as bad as a few weeks ago though, which I am still recovering from!! Also, how long does this drug take to start working, I'm seeing bloody nothing yet!! Oh one day I long to have fab skin and not hide my face when I walk into a room ..... that'd be ace ..... dream over .... back to work!!!!!!! Terrar for now folks

bubbles82

bubbles82

09/27/2011

 

Day 49 On Roaccutane

Hi all you lot out there! So haven't updated my blog in a while as have been pretty busy with one thing and another. Am looking to move house soon so things have been a little stressful of late to say the least! Anyways, I am really pleased to report that since the last time I blogged, I haven't had any more beasts pop up! I am really hoping that this is it now for the initial breakout and my skin takes a turn for the better, but don't wanna get my hopes up too much or jinx it!! As regards my skin, it is doing ok but my lips are quite dry (this is nothing Vaseline doesn't sort out). I have also noticed that my hair is becomming quite thin and my hairbrush is full most days, which is a little concerning. I'm only washing it every other day now as opposed to every day, which is easy as its not greasy any more! I'm also giving it a good conditioner treatment when I do and am trying not to straighten it if possible. I still have countless bumps/lesions (which look like spots) from previous acnes, but they are not currently active so I'm hoping that in another month or so, they should have gone down a lot and be coverable with make-up. They are still very visible at the moment even with it plastered on and look like I have 'growths' on my chin - about five in total, plus a couple around my nose. They are from the very big spots I got, which were painful, so fingers and toes crossed there will be no more of them bad boys to come any longer! I'm concerned about the redness left from spots as this doesn't seem to be showing any signs of going, and it looks gross when my makeup is off. Has anyone heard of Roaccutane making it worse and are there any magical creams that get rid of it?! So I'm going to see the Dermatologist tomorrow and I'm absolutely bricking it that he's gonna take me off of the Steroids, of which I am still on 10mg a day. I feel like these are keeping my symptoms abaited for the moment, but I guess we will have to wait and see. He will no doubt increase my Roaccutane as I'm still only on 40mg, so my guess is he will want to bump it up to get my body reacting and be a lot dryer. Will blog again to say what dosage I'm on etc in due course! TTFN x

bubbles82

bubbles82

09/26/2011

 

Day 39

Okiley dokily, so I'm on day 39 and not really sure why I'm blogging, as I haven't got a whole lot to report! Had my hair done today and a lovely back massage, which made me feel a little better in some ways but all the girls in the salon were planning a girly night as a new club has opened in town (which I was invited to but will not go out at the moment looking like this!!), and they all had lovely skin so it made me feel a little sad. Once I wouldn't have even given it a second thought, but now I feel like so ugly and am worried people will be staring at my ten heads. Also, why is salon lighting to bloody bright - I looked hideous in there and pretended I was really engrossed in a two month old magazine!! Re my skin, its still the same as before - these mahusive spots don't show any signs of disappearing, they seem to be lasting forever. But on the plus side I haven't had any more of those sort come up in the last five days. No, instead I have a few on the left side of my nose that have cropped up (just average big ones like everyone gets) and a group of four on the left side of my hair line. What's all that about - its like they're scared to come on their own!! I never get them on my hair line, so I'm assuming its the Roaccutane. Even when these big ones do heal (i.e. I have picked the scab off and they are not leaking anymore!), the lumps seem to last forever - I have four on my chin that are still big and have been there over a month. My chin looks seriously gross, it makes me said when I put my slap on. My back has been a little sore these last few days and I'm noticing my skin is getting a bit dryer, so hopefully that's a good sign. I'm also pretty tired of late too. God I just can't wait for this all to be over and have no lumps and bumps (with makeup on), it feels like it has taken over my life and I will never be how I was again. How bad was I, the other day I was checking out bloggers who have had negative experiences of Roaccutane/how it didn't work for them/them needing multiple rounds of it. Totally depressed myself! But then I read from someone that millions of people take it, and for the majority it works but they don't feel the need to write about it, so that gave me a little hope in the misery I find myself in at the moment!! Day 39 - wish it was 99 (it bloody feels like it should be!). Hopefully one day I will look back at these early days and think 'crikey, I remember being like that but now I'm gorgeous it feels like a distant memory'!!!

bubbles82

bubbles82

09/16/2011

 

day 36

So I'm on 'Day 36' and really don't have a whole lot to report, bar that my face is starting to get dry and peel a little. I have been avoiding putting moisturiser on at night sometimes, as I'm scared it's feeding my spots, but think that might be why the dryness has occured! My lips are dry too, but the Vaseline is looking after them well. As regards my face, still no improvement at all. Got lots of scabs/big lumps which I am trying to hide with foundation, and don't even get me started on the red marks. I have all the spots still that I reported previously, plus another mahusive one coming on the left side of my chin. Oh joys! It really bloody hurts as well, and looks like I have two chins!! I went to London at the weekend and had a great time, but kept my head down as much as I could and kept applying makeup every time we stopped. I was stood on the tube face to face with no end of people, and all I could think of was 'poor you, having to look at my mug!!' I work with doctors and one who knows I'm on Roaccutane asked me how I'm doing. She said that my dose needs to be upped and my skin needs to really dry out, in order for it to be working. She also said my steroids should be stopped, but I should prepare myself for a 'flare-up' once they are, as they are keeping the IB abay - something which I very much disagree with, as my face looks rediculous at the moment!!! Anyways, I'm still struggling with spots that have come up as they just won't heal (I'm being a good girl and trying to avoid picking). The other night one fell off in my sleep and there was that liquid crap all over my duvet - gross! Its just not fair, they've been kicking around for over two weeks now and haven't dried up one bit. Any suggestions on how to rid them carefully whilst on Roaccutane would be greatly appreciated! That's all for now folks x

bubbles82

bubbles82

09/13/2011

 

Day 31

Hi guys, Nothing really much to report other than my face is an absolute mess! I have three mahusive scabs - one on my chin, one on my cheek and the other just under my nose. Is anyone else noticing that if they squeeze a spot or even knock it whilst on Roaccutane, it forms a massive scab? Also, these scabs are totally uncoverable, and they seem to be hanging around for what seems like ever, and not drying up. Has anyone got any suggestions of what I can put on them to try and soothe/aid the healing process? Still really down and my face looks like its been hit by a bus, but trying to stay positive and think that one day all I will have to cover is red marks, as opposed to lumps, bumps and scabs!! I guess I'm only on day 31 so this initial outbreak will last for a bit yet, but everyone says things should improve in month two - here's hoping! I've got loads more red spots/scabs come up - I really hate the scabs the most as it looks like I have an STI on my face, which combined with acne is really gross!!! So if anyone has any tips that would be great. Ta x

bubbles82

bubbles82

09/08/2011

 

Day 29

Today is day 29 (in the big brother house ... sorry couldn't resist!!). So update, I spoke to Dermatology yesterday and said my face was going absolutely CRAZY breaking out, and they have decided to keep me on the steroids for another three weeks - 10mg a day. That should take me up to when I see the dermatologist again for my 2 month check, and no doubt he will have words as he doesn't particularly like me being on them. Back to my face, it is absolutely disgusting. I had a nurse come in this morning to where I work and said 'what's wrong with your face - it looks sore', to which I burst into tears! Bless her, she was only asking but I thought I'd done a good job at covering the mountains up, until that point!! She's since bought chocolate in to try and cheer me up!! So as for a spot count, I have two beasts right on the end of my nose (yes another one has popped up as the first must have been lonely), a mahusive one just underneath my nose which is just a big red, sore bump, a cluster of five on the left side of my nose which are all really scabby, a mahusive one on my left cheek which looks like I've had far too much botox in one area, two big red lumps on the left side of my hairline, two on my forehead and I've lost count at the big one's on my chin, as it looks like a golf range. I think its safe to say this is the initial breakout, I just hope it doesn't get any worse. The spots are bloody killing - very sore and they take ages to heal. I think that could be the Roaccutane though, as my skin looks like tissue and is very frail. I'm literally just putting moisturiser on now after cleansing/toning, as I don't want to irritate them any more, but I'm scared I'm feeding my face. It is absolutely devastating me at the moment and I'm very very down. I just hope this process wraps up soon but time seems to be going soooooooooo slow and each day brings another new friend to my face . I'm off to London this weekend and was hoping it would be a little better, but fat chance of that! Ah well, I guess it'll be head down and hair in the face. One day I am hoping to be able to hold my head high again, and be proud of what I look like, but that seems like its a long way off right now.

bubbles82

bubbles82

09/06/2011

Last Reply:
09/08/2011

 

Day 26 on Roaccutane

Day 26 - what a long road this is turning out to be, and I'm not even a quarter of a way through yet! My face looks absolutely disgusting without make-up on, I can't quite believe how many red marks and spots there are. I feel like a frickin freak show, and its really getting me down . Thank God I have discovered Estee Lauder Double Wear Foundation - anybody struggling to hide blemishes/imperfections/scars/red marks, get yourself a tube. At £26.00 a pot its espensive, but it is by far the best foundation I have ever found, and can even cover up tatoos (so the bird in the shop told me!). You only need a tiny bit and it covers all red marks and scars, its totally amazing. Anyhow, back to the face. Its well bad - so bad its making me really down. I don't know whether its these drugs but my mood is so low at the moment. To be honest I'm putting it down to the fact that my face looks like such a mess. I don't just get one spot on its own, oh no they come in clusters - so far I have a group of friends on my the left side of my hairline (about five big ones), a group of three on my forehead, a group of five on my left nostril - they are well scabby, a mahusive one on my left cheek, one on the end of my nose (que Rudolph tune!) and about five on my chin which WILL NOT go away (this includes the lighthouse). Sorry to be so detailed but I feel the need to vent!! And what's with the scabs once you've squeezed them? How gross. So anyways, I went to the laser place yesterday and was told that they couldn't touch me for another 11 months, until after I'd finished treatment and been off these lovely drugs for six months. They were really nice and didn't do the hard sell, but said I would possibly need a few chemical peels, some dermabrasion to even out my skinton and some laser red light therapy to get rid of the red marks. That should all total just over £1,000.00 - yer nice one!!!! Oh and after all that I still won't have perfect skin, just improved. Hopefully by the 11 months is up my face will look completely different, as that's a lot of healing time, but in the meantime I'm gonna start saving, just in case I need any treatments. It was very interesting though and I learnt a lot about skin. I was also advised to cut down on my smoking (yes I know, I'm a naughty girl). So before I smoked about 8 a day, but I was advised to cut down to 2, which I have started today. Its killing me already but I'm determined I'm going to do it, and eventually stop altogether. I'm allowing myself one in the morning and one at night, and this evening can't come soon enough! Regarding the Estee Lauder Idealist Skincare Illuminator, it is very good and instantly brightens up red marks, however I'm not sure if its this that is making me break out so much so I'm holding off judgement just yet. It could be the Roaccutane though, as I'm still only just coming out of month one. Bloody spots, I hate them, and I hate the destruction in the form of red marks and dints that they leave behind. That's it for me today, think I have moaned enough!!! Bye for now folks

bubbles82

bubbles82

09/03/2011

Last Reply:
09/05/2011

 

Day 24 on Roaccutane

So today is day 24, feels like its been a lifetime already and I'm not even done with my first month! I phoned Dermatology today to get my bloods back, and they're all normal thank God. My weekend was a bit booze-fuelled so I was surprised, but I'm glad! I've been really good since starting Roaccutane and not had a drink, but did slip up which I will try not to do too much. Re my face, its getting dry now especially around the spots. They are quite scabby but I think they're reducing in size very slightly. However, I'm starting to notice a few new little friends popping up - they are very little and come up in a group, but don't tend to stick around for too long. I guess that's all the crap coming out of me. I've got one right on the end of my nose too - feel like Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer!! I asked Dermatology what I could put on them, and they advised me to just purely moisturise and let the drugs dry me out as too many products could make a mess of my face. They said ABSOLUTELY nothing like Benzoyl whatever it is or Clearasil spot drying products. My lips are getting quite dry and I've noticed my nose is starting to dry out a bit but I keep putting the Vaseline up there - how attractive!! I've bought some new products as follows:- Neosporin - for my active spots as I read its supposed to be quite good with the healing process and it has antibiotic ointment in it. Estee Lauder Idealist Even Skincare Illuminator - Someone recommended this for scarring/red marks, and after checking out reviews online yesterday, I thought I'd give it a go. I've only used it twice so far so its too early to tell, but have already noticed its leaving my skin feeling very silky soft. Will update in a few weeks as to how I think its going - they say you should notice a difference after three. Its expensive but if it helps reduce scarring then its worth it. That's all for now folks!!

bubbles82

bubbles82

09/01/2011

 

Day 22

Today I went to see my Dermatologist again for my first check-up since commencing Roaccutane. He told me he could see a slight improvement (I had tons of bumps before starting), but was concerned with the amount of 'new friends' I have on my face. It is for this reason he has decided to keep me on 40mg a day (two tablets in the morning) of Roaccutane and also my steroids for a little longer. I'm reducing the steroids down by 5mg a week, and am now going to be on 10mg for the next week (5mg the next). He said by the next time I see him (in four weeks), I should be out of the IB stage, and ready to up the Roaccutane (scary stuff). He reminded me that there is absolutely no quick fix for this, and I'm just gonna have to ride the storm . Easier said than done! I had my pregnancy test (negative thank God) and bloods done (slightly apprehensive because a lot of alcohol was drunk over the bank holiday weekend - I know I shouldn't, but I needed to let my hair down and was away so thought sod it!!). I asked him about my scarring and he basically said there is no way we will know until treatment is over. However, FYI, he said redness takes about six months to go, and pitted/slight dints in the skin about five years - of which I have both a plenty! Apparently facial skin is the quickest to renew itself on the body, but I personally don't wanna live like this for that amount of time. He said I shouldn't even consider laser stuff/dermabrasion until after the five years is up, but I guess only time will tell and I will see how I feel after Roaccutane is finished. As regards my skin, still very blotchy and spotty. My lighthouse is STILL here (albeit scabby and smaller), and now I have another one coming - plus the other ones that are still hanging around. My forehead has about 5 on which are big and scabby, and my lips are getting extremely dry. But apart from that its all tickety boo (sarcasm intended!). I have some 'undergrowths', which are basically lumps that haven't come to anything, and they have been there for a couple of months. He said they will probably stick around and then just disappear, but they shouldn't come to a head. They are so annoying as it looks like I have two tumours - does anyone have any suggestions on how to banish them? Another question - can anyone think of something I can put on my spots whilst on Roaccutane, to make their disappearing act happen quicker? I'm not putting anything on at the moment bar moisturiser, because I don't know what's safe with the drying etc. Any suggestions would be gratefully received. Also, does anyone know of anything that can help with the redness caused by acne scarring? So many questions, just hope someone can give me some suggestions!!

bubbles82

bubbles82

08/30/2011

Last Reply:
09/01/2011

 

Day 17 on Accutane

Haven't updated for a few days as have been feeling pretty down. The initial outbreak has well and truely hit me - I have three huge spots on my forehead and I never used to break out there. My chin now has one mahusive scab on it which is really raised from the big lighthouse spot I got, and I have four other ones on my chin which are quite big. I just feel like this is never going to get better, and I am going to look like this for ever. Quite depressed to be honest! As regards side effects, I'm drinking 6-8 glasses of water a day (have always drunk plenty of water anyways), and my skin isn't really too dry - mind you, I moisturise every day at least once. My lips aren't too bad either, but I'm putting the Vaseline on about 20 times a day. If I haven't put it on for an hour or so I know about it only in that they taste funny and are dry, but they're not cracked and they don't hurt. So am waiting for the drugs to do their job and kicks these spots into touch. I know its a long road, but right now I wish I had a fast-forward button on my life so that this would all be over. As always, my BIGGEST worry is the scarring and redness, as this doesn't seem to be showing signs of going away. How long do acne scars that are red take to go? I spoke to another laser place today and they said they won't touch me until at least a year after I finish the Roaccutane, so it looks like I'm going to have to stay like this for a bloody long time! I go to see the dermatologist again next Tuesday and no doubt he will up my dose of Accutane, which really frightens me as I'm only just getting by with these huge spots as it is. Oh well, as they say 'no pain no gain'. I just wish it was anywhere else on my body but my face, as unless I walk around with a berka on there is sod all I can do to cover it.

bubbles82

bubbles82

08/25/2011

 

Day 11 on Accutane

So I'm on day 11 of taking Accutane (40mg in the morning) and to be honest things are going well. I'm not suffering from any major side effects - my lips are slightly dry but nothing regular Vaseline applications isn't sorting out. They don't hurt at all and there's no cracking with them - maybe coz I obsess over the Vaseline! My nose isn't dry and my skin isn't too bad. I'm moisturising at night-time though religiously! Yesterday I squeezed a few blackheads and noticed that my face swelled up - as if I'd been bitten by an insect, and it looked really fragile so I don't think I'll be doing that again!! My facial skin is ever so slightly peeling (as if I have sunburn) but nothing I can't handle. My Clinique regime seems to get rid of the dead skin cells really well, so I will continue on that for the time being. As regards spots - I have two HUGE MASSIVE 'lighthouse' looking one's on my chin. They are completely taking over my face and hurt like mad. Totally uncoverable - I look like I have a growth attached to me! One is bigger than the other and they are on the end of my chin so I look like a witch. I'm guessing this could be part of the IB but as I'm on steroids the doctor said it shouldn't hit me. Ah well, guess I'll just have to ride through the storm. I was looking at pictures on my phone last night of when the Pyoderma Faciale hit me a couple of months ago, and I can see so much of an improvement in the bumps and nodules, however now what I'm left with is so much scarring, which I don't think Accutane will improve. Oh to be able to go around the house or down to the shops without a shovel full of make-up on - that would be my dream come true. Whenever someone knocks at the door unexpectidely and I haven't got my makeup on, my heart jumps 10,000 beats and its horrible - so unfair in my own home, but I can't help it. x

bubbles82

bubbles82

08/19/2011

 

Day 8 - Accutane

So I'm on day 8 of Accutane (40mg in the morning) and I think the side effects are starting to kick in. I've got a couple of spots cropped up on my face - one on my chin which my lovely mother describes as a 'blind spot', as it bloody kills and won't be squeezed. These are the worst and they really stick out. They last about a month usually but I'm hoping the Accutane will speed up the process of it hanging around - very optimistic I know! As regards my lips, they are starting to dry out slightly; I'm putting Vasaline on throughout the day and they're not too bad at the moment, but I have a feeling its only just the beginning. My face is also starting to dry out slightly - I took a peep in the mirror before I left work this evening and I had patches on my face where my skin had slightly broken - as if I'd been sunburnt. Its not too bad and I can't wait to get a shower and have a good moisturise, I'm sure that will help. I had a delivery come today from The Body Shop as thought I'd stock up on some treats - a Vitamin E facemask (to try and aid the recovery of my scarring!), some moisturisers and a good shower cream. If I've gotta be on this nasty pasty drug I may as well treat myself a bit! So all in all, a long way to go yet but I'm excited to get to the end. I've been looking at laser treatments and dermabrasian for after my treatment to get rid of the scarring, and have found a place about 18 miles away that does this. I'm secretly hoping I won't need it after treatment, and I know I will have to wait a while anyway, but I'm trying to remain positive for as clear a face as possible one day. Does anyone know if this sort of treatment is available on the NHS? I've heard they will only do certain 'procedures' if it causes 'severe psychological distress to the patient' - show me an acne sufferer with scarring that isn't traumatised, because I bet you will be hard pushed to find one!! At least with any other scarring it can be hidden, but on your face its there for all to see. Pyoderma Faciale really stinks and I hope it doesn't scar too much. Me x

bubbles82

bubbles82

08/16/2011

 

Day 6 - Accutane

So I'm on day 6 of Accutane (40mg in the morning) and I have to say that its so far so good! I've had a really busy weekend away with friends and haven't really been looking after myself as much as I should (a few beers, not much moisturising or sleep!) and I'm doing ok. My back has been playing up really bad and my legs ache a bit but I've been quite active so I guess that's understandable. My skin isn't drying yet (I'm still using Clinique Anti Blemish Solutions) and my lips are doing well. I've been putting Vaseline on at night-time/morning with the odd touch up in the day and they've not dried out as yet. So far so good fellow accutaners, but I guess I've got a long time to go. As regards my face, things are still pretty much the same as before although I haven't noticed any new spots coming up. I'm still on the Steroids so that my curb my initial breakout. If anyone can tell me when the drying starts, that'd be helpful so that I can be prepared!

bubbles82

bubbles82

08/15/2011

 

Day 3 on Accutane

Hi, So I've took my third day of Accutane today (40mg OD) and so far no change - as if I expected there would be!! No dryness as yet although keep popping the Vaseline on my lips and up my nose to try and keep it at bay. Am waiting for it though, I know its coming!! No side effects as yet, apart from not being able to sleep last night. Although think that has something to do with the stress the ex keeps putting me under!! Am going away this weekend and am really apprehensive as have loads of red marks on my face and am paranoid to show it without any makeup - I always wear a thick face of it in front of friends/boyfriend, but will obviously have to see them once I get out the shower unless I put a bag over my head!! Does anyone have any safe tips to try and reduce redness from spots whilst on Accutane, and also how long do these red marks last? I've trailed the internet but don't seem to be getting many answers, other than quick fix creams which I doubt will make a difference!! I use solely Clinique - Antiblemish Solutions pump wash, toner and moisturiser, and have added the 'Dark Spot Correcter' to my regime but am skeptical as to whether it will do anything! I will probably have to change to a better moisturiser from the range once the dryness kicks in, but that's not a problem. I just don't wanna change yet and get more spots. Anyways, get in touch if you fancy throwing me a few tips. x

bubbles82

bubbles82

08/11/2011

 

Day 1 on Accutane

I have just swallowed my first two pills (am taking 40mg in the morning - 2x 20mg), and I still have spots lol!!! Have put the Vaseline on my lips and up my nose as I'm so scared of the dryness, and I have to say I was really scared taking the pills - I know it sounds random!! I went from taking no pills at the beginning of the year to now taking 9 in the morning. Hopefully in a few months though I'll be only taking 1, the contraceptive pill. So today is the start of my journey, am pretty scared but it needs to start somewhere so guess this is the start of a rollercoaster ride of Roaccutane. PS - The steroid I'm on is Prendisolone - God knows where I got Proyclidine from, I've never even heard of that drug lol!! Too much checking out the Internet me thinks. Anyone out there starting their Accutane journey let me know, we can coach each other along. x

bubbles82

bubbles82

08/09/2011

 

A day before Accutane/Pyoderma Faciale

So I went to see my Dermatologist last Tuesday and he said that because I was on Oxytetracycline, I have to stop it rightaway and wait a week before I can start Roacutane. Flippin annoying as I was hoping to get right on with it, but hey ho - its better than a brain clot (which is the possibility if I don't wait!!). Anyway, he also gave me a four week course of Prendisolone Steroids to try and take down the inflammation on my face, and hopefully this should calm the initial outbreak on my face. My diagnosis is Pyoderma Faciale, and I don't see many people on here with that, so guess I'm kinda unique (wish I wasn't!). So I start the Tane tomorrow - 40mg in the morning with my 30mg of Steroids, and I go back in three weeks to see how things are going. I've been on the steroids six days now and I can definitely see a difference in the swelling of my face/old spots, however its still very red and I have two nasty pasties come up on my chin which look dreadful. I'm hoping they've gone down by the weekend as I'm meant to be going away (berka anyone?!). If any of you out there have Pyoderma Faciale and fancy getting in touch please do - I feel quite alone with this diagnosis and its bloody horrible.

bubbles82

bubbles82

08/08/2011

 

A Week Before Tane & Introduction

Hi, I'm totally new to this site as have only developed acne in the last three months. So a little bit about myself ... I have had the worst year ever in my life with so many things happening to me personally and professionally, and I think it all became too much so has come out on my skin. It started off at Christmas with work pressures, and then my grandfather passed away in February. If I thought that was bad my partner of 11 years then left me a week later for someone else and I am now bringing up our two children. So to say that life has been challenging this year would be an understatement!! However, just when I thought things couldn't get worse, I developed severe acne all over my chin, upper lip and left cheek - literally within the space of a few days. It is awful, and despite being on Dianette and Oxytet (antibiotic) since May, nothing is clearing it up. New spots are emerging and my skin is the worst it has ever looked. My life has pretty much come to a stand-still, and my friends are getting fed up of constantly asking me to do things but me making excuses. I don't go out anywhere unless absoutely necessary (i.e. work and school runs) and avoid being in public places. I wear thick make-up now when I do go out and constantly have my head down - this nasty disease has totally stripped me of my confidence. The worst of it all is that I met this guy a couple of weeks before getting this breakout, and we had a fantastic time getting to know each other. However, during what should be the 'honeymoon' period, I develop this, so the relationship has taken a bit of a dive because I won't do anything. He's stuck around for the moment, calling me most nights and seeing me every few weeks (I'm paranoid when I see him) but I'm not sure how much longer he will. My family are very supportive but my parents (who are the one's that have been by my side this year) are really worried about me starting Tane - especially with the depressive symptoms. They don't want me to go on it which is making me more skeptical, but my view is that if it clears this nastiness up from my face, it will be worth it. Some people have told me to 'get a grip' and 'think of people who are worse off than you' - easier said if you have a glowing complexion and not a pizza face!! I saw a Derm about a month ago who ordered blood tests, and I'm due to go back next Tuesday with a view to starting Tane. I'm at my lowest at the moment, so I'm hoping things can only get better. However, I'm absolutely bobbing it about the initial breakout that everyone keeps talking about .... do you know how long this will last and whether Tane clears up existing acne/scarring? I've decided to start a blog to record my progress (well, hopefully progress!), so that I can see how far I am coming along. I've heard acne gets worse on Tane before it gets better, so any advice would be greatly appreciated. I've learnt some people (friends) can be very cruel without even realising, and the only person who is going to truely get me through this horrid stage in my life is myself, through determination. So I am looking for some support from you guys out there - who hopefully understand how I feel. Speak soon! x

bubbles82

bubbles82

07/25/2011

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