Jump to content
Acne.org
  • entries
    16
  • comments
    4
  • views
    7,254

Entries in this blog

 

3-4 Months Post Accutane. I Got Worse!

Haven't been here since September. Well in September after finishing those last couple of pills I had, I was debating whether to stop the course. Reasons being: My hair was falling, making me more bald
The dermatologist was a quack, I'd be in there for 5 mins max and that was it. Accutane and a visit to dermatologist is pretty costly.
My mum said she really didn't notice any difference in my skin.
​Well from here it may get pretty long. I really need a place to vent because no one really understands or takes me seriously when I talk to them. So after finishing up those pills I was pretty much clear except for a couple of unnoticeable zits on my forehead and the majority of my marks faded with the help of the fade lotion that I had been using. I had clear skin till probably around mid November where my whole forehead broke out, which had never happened before. I thought if I had left it alone it might have slowly healed on its own but then I started breaking out more in places I've never broke out before such as around my mouth. I finally got it under control in the second week of December. Later I noticed while washing my face that I'm starting to get a lot of tiny under the skin acne all over my face. Then some of those under the skin acne would eventually leave lots of hyper-pigmented marks before finally coming to head as red infected pimples. *sighs* Now I've got acne all on my jawline, chin, around my mouth, forehead, and cheeks. I look older with all these hyper-pigmented marks as well acne. One day my mum was like "oh my your skins looks like mine now." As for hair, I've gotten pretty bald lately. I'm wondering if accutane caused my hair loss to speed up. Apparently I have genetic hair loss but losing so much so fast is very depressing. When I stand infront of the mirror, I can see my bald spots and my hair has thinned out more at the new part I have to cover all the other parts I've made in my hair to cover the balding problem. It looks even worse when I've finished wash my hair. I find myself crying alot these days and being self concious which I've never really been before taking accutane. I only went to the dermatologist to find the cause of my hair loss and a solution to get rid of pigmented and pitted scars. When the derm took like a 30 sec. look at my skin he was like "oh you have severe cystic acne" and insisted I go on accutane. The time before my first dermatologist appointment, I never thought my acne was bad. Now my entire face is in a mess thanks to accutane. It really brings down your self esteem being in a university surrounded by people who you don't know that are so beautiful and have extremely flawless skin. Worst yet is when someone told me they thought I was older and when my told me I looked a 20 - something year old person when I'm only 19!!! When I try talking to my mum about my hair loss and acne, she just looks at me and says "why are you asking me for? I can't do anything." I get so frustrated because she shows no support or anything and I just end up walking away and go cry in my room. There are times when I feel really ugly and times where I find I look okay. I don't know why I'm only obsessed with how I look now. My friend tells me I'm not ugly and I'm beautiful but they don't really understand how I feel having been suffering with acne since I was either 10 or 11 and they've always had beautiful skin. I try to keep positive but sometimes it's so hard and I just end up crying about all that's going on. I'd like to find another dermatologist and I find another solution for my acne other than accutane but that's not really possible because of a financial crisis my family is having. To those who actually read this whole thing, Thank you. To those who are suffering with acne, I hope you find your miracle cure soon.

4D_16

4D_16

01/01/2012

Last Reply:
01/03/2012

 

I shrank!!! :S

I haven't updated in a while huh? Last week i kept forgetting to take accutane. I haven't noticed any changes besides having a few tiny buttons here and there but you can't really see them. My hair still looks like it's thinning out though. So Saturday when I had went out with friends that I haven't seen in 3 months, they told me that I got shorter!!! This is a bit depressing since I'm already short; just a tiny bit under 5 ft. I already don't like my height so getting shorter and losing my hair isn't nice at all! oh and I tend to be really emotional these past few days. Sometimes I just burst out in tears for no reason.

4D_16

4D_16

09/12/2011

 

day 78

I don't really see any difference in my skin now....so haven't really felt the need to post anything. The only thing is the skin on my upper back and neck feels irritated for some unknown reason and my face looks all flushed and sunburnt :S

4D_16

4D_16

08/31/2011

 

Thinking about quitting accutane

So I've been considering to quit taking accutane because I'm concerned about my thin hair thinning out even more. I've been searching online to see if there's anything I can do about it but there's really not much I can do. I can't really do much of a come over because the parts are getting thinner. I really don't want my hair to become like my mother's in the next couple of months. While trying to find solutions and reading stories from other people who suffer from hair loss I can't help but think about myself and I break down in tears. I've got to talk to my derm about what I can do about this although he said it's genetic I keep wishing it wasn't. I don't like asking him questions because he tends to reply back in this know it all way and you just feel like walking out the room. Grr So I've only ingested about 1280 mg so far and for some of you that may be just roughly around 2 - 4 weeks but I was on a pretty low dose. The only reason why I was out on this was because of scarring and backne but if I have to lose more hair instead of treating my acne, I would rather have the acne than lose my hair. I don't know if some of you might think I should just suck it up and just go through with the course and think that I'm being annoying about this but there are some things you just can't help but worry about. Well I'll end my rant here today. I hope and pray that those of you that are taking accutane don't suffer any serious side effects and have a major success.

4D_16

4D_16

08/22/2011

 

Day 66? :(

So I've noticed that my hair has thinned out even more and my scalp seems to be more visible than it already is. The ends of my hair needs to be trimmed but I'm afraid of going to the hairdresser because no matter which hairdresser I go to they always tend to cut my hair really badly. I'm afraid they'll make it extra short and make my baldness show even more. It's really depressing. I can't really do anything about my hair growing back full because my dermatologist said most of my hair loss was due to genetics *cries* There are some rough patches of skin on my inner cheeks and nose. I've got another lovely cyst on my cheek and that's going to take a couple of weeks to heal and leave a nice big red/ brown mark. I've also gone from no appetite to increased appetite. I seem to get hungrier even faster but the thing is when I'm ready to eat I won't feel like eating even though my stomach is begging me to feed it. Pretty whack if you ask me. My lips are cracking and they hurt too. My eye sight has worsened. Need to go get my eyes checked next week. I've started getting really bad headaches but at least they're not as severe as the ones I got last year that used to have me crying for hours. They're are still pretty bad compared to your average headache. Could this headache be due to: > accutane? > lack of sleep? > need new glasses? > heat?....it's been extremely hot lately > not drinking enough water? or probably all of the above? Hope you guys are not having any of these side effects.

4D_16

4D_16

08/19/2011

 

Day 56 - 57

So I spent about half an hour staring down my face a while ago. *sighs* What do I see? My face seems to look more red at the cheeks, I've got this tiny white head just right under my eye and I don't know if it's just me but my pitted scars seems to look worse. Were they ever that bad? It's pretty depressing. Just wondering...has anyone gotten more depressed or pitted scars while on accutane? (However you choose to call them) The red marks that I thought had lightened up seems to have gotten back more red. Having asian skin sucks man. I know I shouldn't complain since there are people whose skin are worse than mine but sometimes you've just got to let it all out. I've previously mentioned that my hair was thinning before accutane. I can't really tell if it has dropped more while I'm on accutane but it just falls flatter than usual like it's just hanging there. So lifeless. I really do hope my hair grows back soon. Oh and my hair doesn't seem to have grown any longer. *weird*

4D_16

4D_16

08/10/2011

 

Day 49

How are you guys doing? I haven't updated in a while. Well my 'backne' has totally cleared up I've got some tiny bumps on my forehead and temples now. blehh Whoever said what you eat doesn't affect acne is totally wrong. Some of my red spots have faded a bit nothing drastic, others are taking extremely long. That Danchris Fade Lotion is taking forever to work. It doesn't work too well on old marks The spots that have faded and turn brown looks like freckles and liver spots now but atleast it's better than being bright red right? Today I went to the dermatologist and he upped by dosage a bit. Mon /Wed /Fri - 20mg in the am and 20 mg in the pm Sun / Tues/ Thurs/ Sat - 20 mg in the pm I've been trying to get a decent picture to show all the scarring and hyper-pigmentation but haven't gotten a good one as yet since it's either to dark or the flash makes my face looks like nothing is there. Good Luck other accutaners

4D_16

4D_16

08/02/2011

 

Day 39

I couldn't sleep so i decided to do a new entry. Well bad news is that I forgot to go get a refill on accutane today since I took the last pill last night. So no accutane for 3 days because the stupid pharmaceutical company doesn't open on Saturdays. *sighs* I've been getting alot of these tiny, stubborn little zits. You can barely see them so I'm not complaining because hey that's better than those big read cysts that leave you with a lovely red mark. When I wash my face I feel a couple of those under the skin bumps. Hopefully those won't turn into huge cysts if I get bumped up to 40mg. By any chance can someone tell me what's the maximum dosage for someone weighing 100 - 105 lbs? I've begun to notice my scars more and more and some I'm not to sure was there before accutane because they look kind of fresh. The only thing that bothers besides those scars are the stubborn red marks. There are some things that I regret doing and not doing in the past few years about my acne. These are: - Not drinking enough water and not eating properly - Using scrubs to wash my face instead of gentle cleansers. Hey what does a teeny bopper know about caring for acne? My mum never really told me what not to do. But somehow there was a sense of satisfaction when you saw those pimple burst. I never knew that they would leave scars - Not being able to have access to a computer to do some research about properly caring for acne prone skin - Deciding to pick those stubborn pimple at the end of my eyebrow. Now I see the scars. Blehh - Forgetting to moisturise at times and not moisturising at all There are more but can't seem to think of any right now.

4D_16

4D_16

07/23/2011

 

Day 37

Hello to whoever is reading this What shall I report today? Most of the blackheads from my nose seem to have disappeared. Yay My backne has being doing pretty good except for those two huge zits that appeared. Blehh. But that was partly my fault for not eating healthy last week. Now when I wash my face with the Cetaphil gentle cleanser I can feel a whole lot of these grainy, tiny, bulb like things falling off but it still has that sticky and shiny feel to it after I've finished washed it. My complexion has seem to gotten a bit fairer but I guess that's because I've stayed out of the sun and been taking alot of naps. haha. I can't really tell if my red marks are improving but damn those pitted scars are more apparent now. I can only imagine what my skin now will look like if I had one of those magnifying mirrors. Yikes. Speaking of mirrors...I've noticed how horrible my face seems to look when I happen to get a glimpse of myself in those mirrors in the stores at malls. I haven't felt like eating these days and have been pretty moody too. I haven't been sleeping well either. Falling asleep around 3 am is no fun and because of that I'm extra tired during the day. I've had these really bad headaches lately. Not sure if it's due to lack of sleep or accutane.

4D_16

4D_16

07/20/2011

 

Day 33

Hello there, I don't know who has been reading my entries but to those of you that do, thank you very much. Hmm..what's there to report? Well I got 5 cysts in total now. 3 of which I believe are from me taking a chance with a slice of pizza and a small portion of fries a couple of days ago. Yes I know, very bad decision. I regret it because those red marks from the cysts stick out alot. Face is still dry, it's not as shiny as before but still a bit shiny. Lips are still dry and I've been drinking more water than usual because of the killer heat. I hat running to the bathroom often because of that. Grrr Ok so this part of today's posting is just me venting out some things that was bugging me today since I've got no one to talk to. No one really takes me on any more. You don't have to read it if you want but if you did, thanks. So some background info...Well some of my hair started dropping really badly about 4 years ago but only for a few months. I was a bit worried at first but told myself not to worry because it might just a passing phase. My hair started back dropping like crazy last year. There was point where I just got fed up and tried to called the dermatologist but never got through so I just gave up. Fast forward this year...so I couldn't take it any more and tried calling the dermatologist when my exams were over and called again. This time success. So by this time my hair is like a third or a quarter of what is used to be. It's rather depressing. So since my hair was still dropping I decided to go by a hairdresser who I haven't went to in years to chop of my long locks to a short bob. When she was cutting my hair she was shocked to see how much my hair thinned out. The way she talked and looked at my hair made me feel like if I had a disease and killed me inside. :'( When I went to my dermatologist he told me to take a thyroid test and well all the other test you need to do before you start taking accutane to see if losing my hair was genetic or if it was due to my thyroid. He suggested that i take pantogar for a month. When the blood work came back I swore I read something in my thyroid was low but he said everything was normal and when I reached back home, I was like did he read the right column? He never told me if I should take any more Pantogar and my prescription was finish. I'll have to question him next time. Fast forward to today...so I was sitting in on a stool at my mum's store and she came next to me and started saying how I should cut my already short hair even shorter even shorter :@ Then she start lifting up pieces of my hair saying that look how bad your hair was thinned out, if you were to tie your hair up you'll see all those bald spots. I just left and started crying. In my head I was like |What do you want me to do about it? It's not my fault my hair has thinned out so badly. If I cut my hair any shorter, I'll look even more bald. I keep mentioning it to you bust it doesn't seem like you really listen and just brush me off." I still feel angry. Wow that was a long rant...I feel a little better now. For those of you who had read that rant, I really thanks you even if you don't comment.

4D_16

4D_16

07/16/2011

 

Day 29 w/pics

Sorry this might be long today. Nothing much to report today besides lips cracking really badly. I've got to stop resting my face on my hand. Grrr Well since being on accutane, I've been staring at my face really closely and have come to the conclusion: "Ok this is what my skin's going to be like, don't take it on too much and keep your head up. These scars and marks will take time to heal." But then you start back questioning yourself "How long again do I have to wait? I've been suffering with this for years now!" Before I never really used to pay extremely close attention to my skin. There'll be times I'll say "Oh look another pimple" and ask "I wonder how long these marks will take to fade?" but other than that I'll be cool like a cucumber. It kind of ticks me off to hear those girls with perfect skin complain about a pimple the size of a sesame seed and act like if the world's about to end and constantly ask "Omg does it look bad?" For crying out loud, that pimple is just a passing phase. Have they ever stopped to think about the people whose acne is extremely worse compared to theirs? or Have had acne for countless and countless of years? What about their self esteem? Anyways, I took a picture yesterday. The quality and lighting is not all that great to see the scars and other pimples around my face since it was taken out with a cellphone. But oh well, I'll try to look for my camera to get a better photo. The really red marks are from the acne or that I got while taking accutane. I can only imagine how much more red they'll get when I go out in the sun Today I was thinking, "Damn the downsides of being fair!!!" Your face becomes a canvas for showing your imperfections even more Well I hope these red marks die down a bit from that lotion the Dermatologist prescribed because I've got 3 big events to go to in August. Make up is a no because I don't like it and don't own it. http://i939.photobucket.com/albums/ad234/Emzicle/Day28L.jpg http://i939.photobucket.com/albums/ad234/Emzicle/Day28R.jpg

4D_16

4D_16

07/13/2011

 

1 month. WOOHOO :)

YAYYY 1 month down!!! Hmm...what's there to say about my skin today? ♬ These blackheads keep sticking out even more. Oh no! oh no! ♬ Lol Well I'm not really sure if my backne has cleared yet since I can't see my back clearly and haven't asked my mum to check. A few days ago by back felt smooth when I washed it. Then the next day, I felt these fine tiny buttons (I suppose) or are they blackheads? Yesterday my mum looked at me and said "Your face looks like it has gotten a bit smoother but you look more red." Well these days when I washed my face, I did feel that the parts of my skin which have never broken out did really feel a bit smooth and around the bridge of my nose too. The only thing is I thinks some parts of my skin feels like plastic I've also noticed that my skin would shine although' I've finished washed and patted my skin dry. Is this because new skin cells are turning over? The left part of my face seems to be doing better that the right. I'm kind of clear except for those tiny bumps around my face, that stubborn pustule that has been there for a week and those hideous pink/brown/red marks from past, recent and current acne.

4D_16

4D_16

07/11/2011

 

Day 25

Face is still dry, sticky like the back of a post it and shining like there's a layer of oil covering my face. I've been feeling pretty sleepy lately especially after lunch till around 6 pm. Since my skin is dry and feeling really thin, no elasticity at all, I think I'll start washing my face with cleanser only at night and washing with only water when I wake up. I really don't like how moisturisers leave a thin shiny film on your face though. I can feel the blackheads on my nose raising and some tiny bumps that you can't see while I wash my face. Oh and my face seems to be red like a tomato. Well that's all to report. One day down...and a whole lot to go

4D_16

4D_16

07/08/2011

Last Reply:
07/11/2011

 

Day 24

All I can say is dry. My hair and scalp has gotten dry; and my scalp is sometimes itchy. Eyes, nostrils, skin and lips are dry too. My skin still has that dry, sticky, shiny look/feel. Weird thing is my skin has some areas where it burns and certain times during the day and night, it itches. Moisturiser only helps a bit but it burns in some areas when I apply the moisturiser . I've got to remember to stop touching my face and eating dairy products. *sighs* My lips are drying and cracking more but I hate putting that sticky crap on you called lip balm. Today I got a few more bumps and white heads. Skin looks better but worse. Quite contradictory isn't it? I can't even remember what my face looked like when I started or how it used to feel like having clear skin. I hope I don't break out any more than I do right now. Good news is that my mum said that my back acne has gotten a whole lot better except for the one or two pimples/cysts or whatever you called them. I think I'll take some pictures soon to monitor my progress. Wow this is long. Any who, best of luck to fellow accutaners

4D_16

4D_16

07/07/2011

 

Accutane Day 23

My skins seems to not be producing oil any more. It feels a bit dry but it hasn't flaked out as yet. However, I don't know the reason why my skin looks shiny as though I've been sweating which I've not been. My skin feels itchy now and especially that red zit with the white head. What is the initial breakout suppose to look like? I haven't broken out seriously as yet. I just have about 5 - 10 pimples; some of which are in places never or hardly get pimples...Like near the hair line by my temple, near my mouth, close to my jaw line and close to my eye. How's your course on accutane going? I don't know how long I'm going to be on this. I always tend to forget to ask. Is it possible to use the neutrogena wave to exfoliate my skin or I shouldn't exfoliate?

4D_16

4D_16

07/06/2011

 

ACCUTANE HELP!

Not sure how this thing actually works but here I go. Well I've been suffering from acne since I was about 11-12 years old. I've tried countless topical treatments, some of them worked at only treating them temporarily. I had also tried Proactive but that left me with lots of scars and did not help at clearing my skin at all. I'm now 18 years old (female) and have acne on my back and mainly cheeks. So I finally got an appointment with a dermatologist. Apparently he said that I have severe cystic acne but to me it doesn't look that severe or cystic at all. Oh well. Well he told me to take accutane but I only stated taking it two weeks before my schedule appointment. This was 20mg every other day. What I noticed was that my oily skin started to get less oily, the acne on my back cleared up a lot, I got lots of white heads but these cleared up within two days. Oh and also these tiny bumps all over my face but you can't see them, only feel them when I wash my face. At my next appointment, my dermatologist told be to take 20mg of accutane every day now. So it's nearing the ending of the 3rd week and my face hasn't gotten dry, it doesn't really produce oil or at least I think it doesn't but it feels sticky and my skin is shining like crazy like if I had sweat a lot. It also has like this plastic feel to it. Anyone else experiences this? what to do? Now when I break out I get these huge inflamed cyst like bumps on my face and my skin looks darker and red. It's also red after I was it but when i wake up it looks normal Some of the negative effects so far was just the drying and chapping of lips as well a really stiff knee. Sometimes I get trouble walking. As for skin care I use: Cetaphil gentle cleanser day and night, The Differin cream sample when I get those huge zits, A fade lotion that contains glycolic acid Clean and Clear morning burst...I use this in the morning sometimes and at night if I feel like it but i really don't like the shiny look it gives I know this was a lot to read but if anyone has any stories or recommendations, please feel free to comment.

4D_16

4D_16

07/05/2011

×