I fail at blogging. Seriously. Really. It's nearly been month since my last post.So long that I forgot my username and password and had to have it mailed to me. Oh yeah. It happened. BUT, on the bright side, I'm finally getting to check this off my to-do list. (YAY!)
Soooooo, it's been some rough weeks, kinda like last time. Around mid July I'd written down that my skin was doing so much better, feeling better, etc., and suddenly one morning I woke up to my face completing breaking out and nearly taking me back to day one. It was absolutely terrible and I have no idea what happened. I wanted to cry. I thought there was no hope. I was ready to break pencils in half and throw rocks at random people on the street and make a formal speech saying goodbye to the universe because I wanted to go hide in a hole for the next few years.
Not really. But a little bit. It's thankfully gotten back on track for the most part. I think it might have added some new spots of hyper pigmentation (I really hope that's the right term...I'm sorry if it's not and I look like an idiot right now. You know, maybe I'll just call them red spots), there's a lot of spots where it looks like a zit is fading away, but otherwise back to "normal." And normal to me is...
Jojoba Oil - It works! After reducing the BP, the flakiness susided for the most part so I went back to jojoba oil. I used it at night, and when I wake up in the morning my cheeks have a nice pink tint and my overall skin looked smoother and more even. YAY for jojoba oil!
finding balance - I'm not sure why, but I'm having a hard time finding the right amounts to use of each product. Using too much BP seems to dry me out, and when I use three pumps of lotion recommended it doesn't all absoarb and I'm left with this layer of orange yellow stuff on my face that clumps with flakes and makes me oily after about 5 hours. When I don't get it just right, breakouts come back. ...it is three pumps, right? or is it two? flabbernuggets.
Well, I think that's about it for today, folks. I've been reading some other blogs, and I admire you all for putting your stories up here. You're not suffering alone! We're here for you! And for all the sucess stories...thanks for giving us hope!!
Oh, and if you wanted to know about the visualization and jojoba oil info: graze of the "Acne Info" tab at the top of the page and wait for it to pop down, then graze of "More info" wait for another pop down, graze over "Even more info", and both Visualization and Jojboa oil will be there kind of near the end. Read it. Know it. Love it.
Annnd finally, here is to Pinnochio.
(: he's cool.
So, I know I said I'd be doing my best to update this blog...I'm not sure if I said how often, but I definitely didn't mean every 17 days. Time flies when you're having fun.
Ha. Ha. Really though, the past two weeks approximately have been sorta rough. I'm pretty sure it's mostly just me being impatient, but gosh darn it I just want it to work!
What I wanted to do with this blog was to make sure I stay motivated to keep up with the regimen. I want to report good news, not bad news, ya know? And in order to do that, I had to make a lot of changes to kick it up a notch, so hopefully I can kick this acne to the curb. So here is the list I would like to call "The Good".
- using the Regimen twice a day. Within the first few days of using it "correctly" (more BP, ways of application, etc.) I already noticed a difference. My skin felt smoother and the size of blemishes were reducing.
- vitamins. I've started taking a mulitvitamin daily, as well as a D3 suppliment that Dan recomends about every other day. The multivitamin I've used since the first day, but the D3 I just started a few days ago. I've yet to add in zinc and fish oil. Even though I do want this to work, I think making too many changes at once could be too much shock, so I'm taking it slow.
- AHA. I just bought some AHA off the website, and it works ok. I'm only using as a spot treatment right now. It does seem to dry up zits a little, but in a weird way that's kind of too awkward to explain. In any case, it makes me feeling like I'm doing something, so I'm keeping it for now.
- vizualization. I've done this a few times where you sit and just vizualize your skin being clear. I need to keep up with doing it better, but I figure it can't hurt anything (jinx). There's some tips about it on the site somewhere; I'll try to find the link later.
- keeping a journal. Every night I've recording what treatment I used (Regimen, vitamins, AHA, jojoba oil, vizualization, sunlight, scrub), what excercise I did, what food I had, the condition of my skin, other details (make-up, stress level), and my overall thoughts on how it's coming along. I recomend this to anyone. For me, it's kept me in check and really made me think about what I'm doing. It's also made me realize that, even though it's felt like years, it's only been 17 days, and this isn't going to cure itself overnight.
Now, I would like to present a list of "The Bad."
- dryness. I can't say this enough. I increased the amount of BP I used, but I guess maybe too soon. At first, I only had some dryness and peeling around the chin and lower cheek area. Then a little above the nose, and around the temples, and soon I was just dry and peeling everywhere. When I smiled, I could just feel a million flakes of skin showing their glory. I caved and used a scrub several times, but it didn't really help all that much. I've drastically cut down on the amount of BP I use, although grudgingly. I know the BP is vital, and I hate having to tone it down.
- jojoba oil. From what I've read, they think jojoba oil might trick your skin into producing less oil because it has properties similar to skin or something (all I really remember about it was less oil. I'll try to find the link for that too). If that is the case, it may have just been the timing for me. I started adding in jojoba oil right around when the drying occured. I added in about 3 drops the first use, then 4, then 5, and then finally 6. I did notice my skin was less oily, but in turn it was also flaking like crazy. I've decided to just stick with the Regimen moisturizer for now and add in jojoba oil later. ah well
- make - up. I know it's not good, but I feel terrible without it. I haven't used it everyday, but going out with friends I feel the need to. Right now I'm using Covergirl Natureluxe, but I think I'll switch over to Almay soon.
- the occasional zit. Just when one is healing, another will begin to form. It's irritating. I feel like my skin is right on the rim of being descent, and then pop! here's mister red man and his dumbness. With the regimen I've never had more than 4 at a time, usually on 2 or 3, but still, mix that in with the dryness and million other spots of hyperpigmentation and I start to get a little flustered. Ahhhhhhhhhh aoidjafio eiow nf nfao;g;jir riouqo'[afd.
Well, looking at the lists I'm pleased to see that the good is overweighing the bad by one. Let's make it by two next time, self, ok? Ok. Good. We got this. I'll try to check in next week too. Cut the 17 days into 7 days? Yes.
As for now, here is to the ninja.
Let's face it. He's just awesome
Hello there, acne.org! Welcome to my blog page!
I've never had a blog before, but I'll do my best to make this interesting. First, let my introduce myself. My name is Brynn and I've been struggling with acne for about four years now...and even though it doesn't seem that long, it's felt like hell. Some of you here know the drill: the bitter self consciousness, the face imprisoned in make-up, the years of experimenting with every advertised product known to man...you know, your every day acne side effects. The side effects of hell.
In the early stages, I was in denial. I thought (prayed, rather) that it was just a phase, just an ufortuante array of zits continuing throughout my face that would entually fade away. One day I was particually distressed by it, and apparently it was showing in my face (ha, ha) because a friend as me what was wrong. I told her I just wasn't feeling so confident, and she asked, "Is it because of the acne?". I was taken aback, because I'd never really seen it as "acne" before. I'm pretty sure my reply wasn't too kind, seeing as my memory only remembers the anger and surprise of that moment.
Sometime after that day I decided it was time to really crack down on the problem and get it solved. After all, it seemed so easy in the commercials. I went through a ton of face washes and toners and moisturizers before giving in and trying AcneFree, this in store kit similar to Proactiv. While using it I liked to pretend like I was in a comercial, raving about how well it worked and how amazed I was at how fast it went away. The only problem was that it was doing next to nothing except maybe making the problem worse. But at that point, I wasn't too discouraged. There were, after all, more products to try.
Like Clean and Clear Advantage, which I went to next. It seemed similar to AcneFree, but I thought it might at least do something. It didn't. In fact, while on Clean and Clear I think I hit my lowest point. My lowest, most desperate point.
Early in the summer I decided that I just couldn't face another school year strutting the halls with a face full of unsightly red marks, so I picked up my first tube of liquid foundation and began to wear it regurally. However, it wasn't exactly covering it all up, so I got some powder to go with it. And then some blush. And them some concealer. And before I knew it, I was throwing 7 different types of chemicals on my face every day (face wash, toner, lotion, foundation, powder, concealer, blush). So I got some mascara just to add some differentiality (is that a word?). Anyways, I hoped it would distract attention to my eyes a little bit.
The make-up worked well, actually. On off days I wouldn't blend quite right, and my face ending up looking a totally different color than the rest of me, but at that time I prefered being the color of make-up to being the color of red. In general, I had a pretty good rountine down.
Except soon, I started to feel a prisoner in my own skin. The make-up made me feel like I was hiding this dirty little secret, like it was covering up this hidden real me. I started getting tired of spending so much time on my appereance, especially when none of my friends seemed to be having this problem. I began another period of experiments, this time even going to a dermatologist. He gave me some soap and this cream while recomending that I try Neutrogena Skin Clearing Liquid Foundation.
Well, if it worked, I wouldn't be here. In short, the stuff he gave me dried out my skin so much that it was just red. Not even because of the blemishes, it was just dry, and red. It made it difficult to put make-up on it, which really put me in a tough spot. I wanted the soap and cream to work, so I tried putting the make - up on top, but the make-up would just get all globbed up in the peeling skin and look terrible. So sometimes I would cheat and use some lotion, when I knew that probably was doing nothing for me. The last option would have been to wear no make-up, but my skin just looked so terrible that I would cry the entire day if I left the house au naturel.
I knew then that I was just stuck between a rock and a hard place. Nothing was working, nothing was helping, and poor pitiful me just lost it. At my wits end, I decided to just google acne and see what came up. Lo and behold, this beautful website did.
I convinced myself to try it out, only after I'd tried the store versions first. I was so, SO happy when my skin actually responded to the regimen. So so so so so happy. I'd like to have a moment of silence and reflection on how wonderful the Regimen is.
However, my happy story doesn't end there, because I am dumb. The Regimen got me to a place where I wasn't having a breakout every single day. They only came occasionally. The only thing left were some (a lot) of those red marks blemishes leave behind and take forever to go away. They were kind of (really) ugly and annoying, but I thought since the breakouts had subsided it was safe to return to make-up (I'd taken a detoxifying period where I avoided make-up completely). Apparently it wasn't safe though, because the make-up brought back the zits along with some new red marks, and I am pissed.
This time, it's for real. This is the beginning of my 5th summer dealing with acne, and I'm about ready to be done. It's coming full force, baby. Those little red bitches won't see it coming.
I'm going to do my best to keep updating this blog on the condition of my skin, what I did as treatment (keeping up with the regimen, using make-up, eating habits, etc.), and any other special details that may have affected it.
I'm unfortunately fully aware that acne is a condition, and it probably won't magically go away in later years. I could be using the Regimen for a long time. It's a slight hassel, but I'll take it if it means getting my skin back. Because if I get my skin back, I can get my self confidence back, and if I get my self confidence back, I can *dramatic moment* get my life back.
So, if you read all of that, wow. That's really awesome. Thank you. If you didn't, thank you. It was kind of embarassing.
In the meantime, here's to this random violin emoticon.
May he always keep his perfect yellow skin.