Acne made its first appearance when I was 15. Looking back, I miss those days. I would get a pimple here and there, or maybe a small family (3-4 zits) of acne, but honestly it was not enough to affect my everyday life. I turned 16. There was a mild increase so I sought out over-the-counter type drugs, which alleviated break-outs to some degree, but not the scars. At that point, the scars were not too noticeable because I was a very outdoorsy person so I was tan all yearlong. When I turned 17, the tides shifted. Rather than a gentle lull of periodic acne tides, my forehead, nose, back, arms, and chin erupted in floods of pimples. I remember how I would joke about how my "friends" would never leave me alone. Calling them "friends" was a pathetic coping strategy. I would even go as far as naming my pimples. And honestly, I'm not embarrassed to admit that. Naming and saying hello to individual pimples did lift my spirits in a strange, deranged way, in comparison to when I left them nameless. It was a love-hate relationship. Eventually, even if a "friend" did 'leave,' it always left a little something to remember it by - scars. So by the time I was 18, I had moderate, consistent acne. Unfortunately my acne induced a mild case of anti-social behavior, and my bestest friends were pimples and scars. They were always there for me and difficult to get rid of, even when i tried poisoning them! It might seem ridiculous to joke about acne like that, but making jokes really helps me.
I'm now 19 and in the same boat as the previous year. My acne is still an ever-present element in my life. It's hard most days, and I cherish those spurts of confidence when I disregard my physical appearance and enjoy myself. Like most everyone on this website, I too, look forward to that magic that will leave me with clear skin. I always feel like if I have clear skin, I'll be able to handle anything. But honestly, will I? Is clear skin that potent? Part of me says it won't, it will just be replaced by some other imperfection, but the other part of me says it will, all my problems could be solved if I had clear skin. Okay, maybe perfect skin isn't the solution to all of life's problems, but it would certainly make simple things like picking up milk at the grocery store less intimidating. Oh acne, why must you be so obsessed with me? All you do is scare away potential suitors and leave your love marks all over my body. Being the beloved of acne is such a pain!