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9th Day of Month 3

I'm finally clear. Almost completely. The only thing left at this point is the scarring and uneven complexion to take care of. I need to find a fast-acting, scar-erasing and skin smoothing product, stat. I'm using a couple currently; they're all-natural and are working fantastically, so maybe I'm just impatient. Progress, either way. I want to get waxed so badly, but I don't want my skin to rip off with the wax. Oi. Accutane.

creed212

creed212

07/17/2011

 

Day 19

My oiliness is gone, but I still have huge cysts on my face, mostly my cheeks. They're painful and always come to a head. I haven't had these big cystular-type zits for a couple years now. The are SO uncomfortable, and you CAN'T hide them. Damn, 3-Dimensional acne. Like I mentioned in my last post, I started a new diet and I've started applying a mineral foundation in place of a tinted moisturizer. I don't know if either of these things are helping, but this ultra-fiber diet is making me a Macy's Day Parade balloon. Hopefully, I'll lose some weight while on this diet too; I've read that it helps pass fat through your colon, essentially deterring it from the absorption process. On a higher note, my chest is almost entirely clear. I had a specific keratosis-type dermatitis on my chest, similar to what I still have on my arms. I don't know why my face, back and arms are still so bad, but I'm sure it will start getting better in the coming couple of weeks. Still no job. I'll need to submit some more applications Friday; maybe someone will want me.

creed212

creed212

05/26/2011

 

Day 15

I started using Korres Wild Rose Mineral Foundation today instead of a tinted moisturizer; I think this is going to work out much better for what I'm trying to accomplish. It's not as drying as Bare Escentuals mineral make up, and it doesn't look as terrible when it gets caught up on dry skin. I'm thinking my using of the tinted moisturizer was only promoting a perfect environment for infection-causing bacteria. My skin was MUCH less oily today; I almost had no oil, even after the late night. It was amazingly refreshing. I'm going to repeat and will post again when I have more to tell. It could also be that 15 days is the exact amount of time that it took for the medication to take a noticeable effect on my sebaceous glands. Let's hope it is the latter; I want this to be the answer. One a second note, I have just taken up a diet high in fiber; I'm taking multivitamins, fiber supplements, and eating a diet mostly consisting of lean protein, yogurt, granola and Welch's Fruit Snacks (lol, they're made with real fruit). I read on a recent post that high fiber and an upped intake of zinc and vitamin D can be a true answer for acne, and then it suddenly occurred to me: last summer, my skin was nearly completely clear on it's own, and I couldn't figure out why. The answer was that I had been on a nearly organic diet, focused mostly on whole grains and lean protein. This means I was eating lots of fiber. When my skin started to degrade, which was around October, I had gotten cocky with my diet, eating whatever I wanted and then some. My grief only worsened with the relationship I developed with my roommate for the spring when I started college; we ate all the time due to her culturally influenced habits. She was from Texas and of Hispanic descent. Oi. Cookies and wings all the time. I gained like 15 lbs alongside my skin pulling a bitch-move and becoming the diseased cage I'm still dealing with. I'll be living with this same roommate in the fall, and I hope my healthy-ish diet will rub off on her. If I wasn't OCD with a weird thing against veggie and fruit textures, then I would just live on salads, but that's not really an option. I'm hoping this eases going through this whole "Accutane" process.

creed212

creed212

05/21/2011

 

Day 14

It's been exactly two weeks since I began taking 40mg of Claravis daily. My face gets tingly and itchy as if I were on some sort of narcotic (experience from post-surgery prescriptions, terrible stuff). I take the sensations as indicators of the medication working its magic. My face has been super oily for these past couple weeks. Disgusting. But it seems to be lightening up; I'm just using Ole Henriksen Vitamin Plus now as a moisturizer, the other stuff (First Aid Beauty Ultra Repair Cream) was too heavy duty for my skin's needs. Ole Henriksen's line for oily skin doesn't contain too many acids as typical for this genre of skin care products with exception to his actual anti-acne line, the main ingredient in which being white willow bark, the precursor to salicylic acid. I need to get a job for the summer, but the jobs I applied to I'm over-qualified for and they still haven't called. I think it may be because of my skin. How am I suppose to get a job in the public eye and have a disgusting face? The point of being an employee is to represent a small part of the company that you're working for! I don't think they see me as the ideal candidate for another one of their smiling faces behind the counter. Most of the places to work around here are food-oriented. No one wants to get food from a server with a pizza face. Literal infection. Mobile infection. I may as well be an AIDS patient with open sores. Lovely. So I can't go shopping, which makes me feel better because I can't get a job, which makes me depressed, because I can't look as presentable as a normal human being, which also makes me depressed. Depression 3, Happiness -1. I have a happiness deficit. Now I understand why people experience suicidal ideations while on this medication. Not that I'm suicidal, because I'm not. I'm the opposite of suicidal, despite what I've quantified above. I'm nearly narcissistic; I see this as just another thing to get in my way. So essentially, I'm livid. "Depression" is just the only word I could think of to convey the possible emotions incited by the plights described. In conclusion, I'm angry and can't wait for this to be over.

creed212

creed212

05/19/2011

 

Day 8

Today my skin seems better, but there's still a lot of oil compared to a normal person's skin. The current infections are beginning to dry up and only a couple new zits have erupted. I can't wait until this stuff starts working to its full potential. My migraines have subsided and I can now sleep much better, though I still am experiencing a bit of insomnia. Each time I fall asleep, though, I can only describe it as a coma; I'm sleeping intensely, no waking, but I still dream my typical, vivid dreams. My face is a bit itchy, so I'll find myself twisting my face into weird expressions in order to satiate the nervous itch. I've always had trouble with my knees aching; the pain is sometimes unbearable, but it seldom occurs. My left knee has been aching this evening. It's a new ache. It's different. I have a impressive pain tolerance, so I'm sure this will prove to be a small issue. I refuse to take medication for it, so I hope it will wane so that I may sleep tonight. My muscles feel fragile, like they might rip if I'm too rough on them. Concerning, I guess.

creed212

creed212

05/14/2011

 

Day 5

Last night was brutal. The migraines (headache and incredible nausea) coupled with insomnia has been getting worse the last two nights. I called the pharmacy and they said that I could take OTC pain killers with my RX, which I already knew but I was worried about the use of NSAIDs increasing the possibility of gastrointestinal damage. The pharmacist also mentioned that there was an adjustment period of a couple weeks, but if the migraines and insomnia continue that I should contact my doctor and request a possible change in my dosing. Hopefully, I'll be able to sleep tonight. Last night I was up until 3 in the morning; fortunately, I'm on break from college and don't need to necessarily wake up early. I'm also going to start drinking a glass of milk every morning; I read online that calcium can reduce the adverse effects of vitamin A toxicity. I've also been in hiding for the past few weeks from the public; my face is disgusting. Like I mentioned in my last post, I broke out badly just before I got my paws on my prescription. I can't wait for this stuff to start working. I noticed that my skin is thinning and that I have increased cellular necrosis leading to shedding and flaking. My face is still oily though. I'm not looking forward to the nose bleeds, which I'm sure to get; I had rhinoplasty last summer which left scarring and thin mucous membranes in my nasal cavity. Oi. My back acne is getting better; I'm hoping that is reflective of the future improvement my arms, chest, trunk, face and neck will soon be experiencing. Maybe.

creed212

creed212

05/11/2011

 

The Script to End All Scripts

When I say script, I of course mean prescription. I am on my fourth day of my first 30-day prescription of Claravis, or what most simply refer to as "Accutane", though Roche has stopped producing Accutane due to the popularity of generic brands. So far, I've seen no difference though many report dry skin within the first week. I don't know why I'm not responding as quickly because I'm typically very sensitive to chemicals. I introduced myself about a month ago upon my first labs for the Isotrentinoin iPledge Program process. Maybe you read, maybe you didn't. But I will be continuing to log my experience with the drug. This is week one. My skin is oily, fair, and uneven in complexion. My pores are enlarged and pools of oil and dirt. I have every type of infection possible within my epidermal layer: from black heads and dermatitis to white heads and cystular nodules. My skin, and this includes my upper arms, chest and back, seems like the bubbling surface of a overflowing, never ending aquifer of infection. I've changed my diet, regimen, and lifestyle. I've been prescribed every prescription possible for this condition. I try to use as many all natural products as possible; nothing works. My skin is as frustrating as ever; I was at my wit's end. If I hadn't gotten my hands on my prescription, I don't know what I would've done. I'm still angry and exhausted with the struggle. I've given up with buying expensive cremes, cleansers and treatments. No matter what I do, it doesn't help, and so I'm willing to risk my joints, sight, liver, and muscles in effort to get rid of my tormentor. My affliction. My days of being a new-age leper are numbered. I can't wait for the coming weeks.

creed212

creed212

05/09/2011

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