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the woes of teenage acne

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been alright

I've been updating later and later each time because I've been soo busy with school trying to make up all the time I missed last week. status: -still verrry oily but that's nothing new -clear except for a few small bumps that could turn into a breakout (they're not an actual zit, just tiiiny bumps that resemble a bug bight or something; nothing major) - still a lot of hyperpigmentation The usual.

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it's been awhile. +ramble

Haven't updated in 5 days, which really isn't qualifibly long enough to be considered "awhile", but for me it kind of is. ANYWAYS, all the past breakouts pretty much healed, in a way. I mean, they've been popped (ick) and have scabbed over so now I'm just waiting for the scab to heal.. if that makes sense. I'd love to peel it off which I know is gross but I CANNOT not pick a scab. My cousin and I have this problem but whatevesssssss. Um, but yeah, basically clear except for a nasty scab on my chin which is healing as well. I'm not sure how it occurred because, thanks to Doryx (doxycycline), I've been clear there for quite some time, but I have a hunch it's stress related 'cause I've been sick and school and ugh. I'm looking in to changing my regimen products because I've been researching different skin irritants and exactly how much is in basically ALL the products I use but they seem to be working for me as far as I'm concerned so maybe I should just leave it alone. I dunno. I reallllllllllllllllllllly want to go on Accutane over the summer because I think it'll be very beneficial for me but it's at least a 4-6 month process and I know an IB is basically inevitable so I'm only willing to go on it when school is out but that only leaves me three months and it might not even work in that time limit and I'm afraid it'll all just be a waste. So I really have no clue what I'm going to do about it because the drug is really unpredictable and I'd hate to be the new kid who the previous day has GREAT skin, and have to wake up the next day with a hot mess goin' on, y'know? But I guess if I want it bad enough, I'll suck it up. Although, I don't want to be stuck in the house (bedridden, incapable of going out of the house due to a horrible IB, etc) all summer like every other summer of my goddamned life sooooooo. What to do, what to do? I'm so scatter-brained right now and I know this is a hella long post I doubt anyone actually reads... so.. yeah,. Sorry non-existent readers. /ramble over If I do end up taking accutane over the summer, I'm planning on making a "preparation basket" full of things people recommend that help when dealing with the side effects. The list: - aquaphor lip balm - eyedrops (can't remember the specific brand name everyone raves about) - really thick moisturizer, maybe vaseline or just something from Clinique - queen helene masque - books & magazines (for when I'm stuck in the house, bored, and have probably lost all hope lol) Mm, that's all I can think of for now but I'll add more later. /off topic/ I've been listening to the piano version of "Yellow" by Coldplay on repeat for the past two days in a row. I'm in love with this song <3

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today is not my day.

So, remember when I said that my acne status was clear? HAH not anymore. 3 new lovelies. ugh. I'm pretty devastated, actually. This means I won't be able to do anything this weekend! I thought I could keep that clear streak alive for at least a few more days but I guess not. Man this really kills my mood. I know I shouldn't let it get to me like this but it's so unexpected. At least there's no school Monday. I reaaaaaaaaallly hope I'm clear by then. oh please oh please oh please oh please D':

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nothing really to report..

In the past three days, a few lovelies appeared but are almost completely gone. Definitely not complaining about that! Still very self-conscious about all the scarring but makeup DOES help. Just not for long though. I guess I have what you consider an oily-T zone but it's mainly just my nose for some reason. Even, like, $70 matte makeup will not withstand it's greasy wrath. It. SUCKS. And I can not emphasize that enough. I don't care if Accutane has side effects that can be damaging to my health. If it sucks out all the oil on my face then I'm perfectly content with shriveled innards I'm hoping to take 'tane over the summer and once I actually have it in my possession, you know I'll update/blog like nobody's business. But for now, I'll continue with these rants. Hoo-rah.

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a'okay

status= clear, and has been that way for about 3 weeks now. BUT, that only means no new active ones; I still have all the scarring to deal with. I've been noticing exactly how much hyperpigmentation/acne scarring I actually have now that my skin is zit-free (I bet I just jinxed myself). It sucks big time to have friends with practically flawless skin. Sure, they get the occasional blemish, but other than that, their skin is like a newborn's. SO not fair. D:< I used Dan's method of "when in doubt, use more BP" last night when I had a friend sleep over and was wearing full face makeup since about 3PM (the time I get up on the weekends lol) to about 2 in the morning. Aaand it seemed to work, surprisingly. The irritated skin that was resembling a pre-breakout was completely flat and normal looking by the morning. Huh. Surprised me. As for the oiliness, well, thank the lord for cold weather, Urban Decay De-Slick primer, NARS Sheer Matte foundation and a hell of a lot of powder. (: In other news: I SAW TANGLED LAST NIGHT FINALLY AND OMG WHY HAVEN'T I SEEN IT SOONER GAHH IT'S SO FREAKING CUTE AND HILARIOUS AND WOW PIXAR YOU TOTALLY IMPRESSED ME OR WAIT IS IT EVEN PIXAR OR IDK BUT YEAH PROPS TO WHOEVER BECAUSE MAN THE ANIMATION WAS SOOOO GOOD I WAS MEMORIZED AND JEEZ THEY PUT SO MUCH DETAIL INTO IT LIKE SERIOUSLY THE CHARACTERS WERE LITERALLY ATTRACTIVE WOW JUST WOW. Maybe I'm easily amused but that movie defines my love for animation <3

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bah-humbug.

School started... yesterday? Wow, it seems forever ago. Ugh, this is going to be a long semester. status: the one on my right cheek has cleared reeeeeeeeeaaallllly quickly, so quick I swear it was a Christmas Miracle, which is funny because I'm definitely the bah-humbug type. The only problems right now are the two small little lovelies on my chin, and that's about it. Oh well. I'm pretty sure it's stress-related. This site has got me hooked on the idea of Accutane. I don't how many success stories I've read but I'm pretty sure if you quizzed me on all the 'tane lingo and all the possible side affects, I'd ace it for sure. I think my body is getting used to the antibiotic I'm taking (Doryx) so I'm going to ask my derm about it soon. OH! And I've been interested in getting a chemical/glycolic peel, but I don't know, I'll have to wait and see. Story of my life.

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what if.

Well, it's been a few days since I last posted and nothing has really changed, just 1 new lovely that is diminishing pretty quickly, thank god. Still oily as h3ll, but that's nothing new. BREAK IS OVER ): noooooooooooooo. Ugh, school tomorrow. Begin prime suffering days. I wish I could have Dwayne's attitude and just F the rest. (my favorite movie is Little Miss Sunshine, obviously) but no. It's hard not to care what people think when acne practically rules your life. Add the anxitey, minus the self confidence and social life and you've got, well, a pretty sucky childhood. Story of my life. Not to be so morbid (I AM a pessimist so it's kind of expected) but like I mentioned before, school is starting and I. hate. school. (it's more the people I can't stand but either way, I detest it) Comprendí? Capicé? Mkay. Moving on. As far as regimens go, I don't really have one set in stone. I think I'm going to order some of Dan's things but so far I'm doing pretty well on the samples I got from the derm so I'd rather not push my luck, but we'll see. I was thinking earlier that if I had practically perfect skin, y'know, no blemishes, zero visible pores/wrinkles, etc., I'd be a totally different person. What would I obsess over? Would I still love makeup like I do now? Would I still have the same friends? Would I care what people thought? Would I be more spontaneous? More exciting? Would I still have the same interests? Would I be more outgoing? Would I still care about appearance? Could I focus better in school? Would I still be socially awkward? What would my problems be about? WHAT IF!? Acne and obsession pretty much go hand-in-hand. You can deny that and say that you really don't care what you look like or what other people think about you, but is that really true? Are you really that oblivious? Do you genuinely not care? Or are you just lying to yourself? Because it's true. Acne will control your life, whether it be merely mild, or severe. And that's the sad reality. Ugh.

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Woe is me, or more specifically, my acne.

Like the rhyming title? Anyways, here goes nothing: ACNE (ugh, such an ugly word) status currently: mild y'know, the usual. blackheads, a few clogged pores (which I guess could be considered whiteheads but they really haven't formed a head.. if that makes sense), etc. It hasn't been all that bad but I doubt the clear-ish-ness won't last come school Monday. I'm pretty sure stress is the main cause of it but I really don't fancy meditation so I'll just deal. Um, I'm pretty new to this site so I guess I'll list out what I'm currently using: - Doryx (Doxycycline) 150 MG ~these work like a GOD! - cleanser: Dove soap bar - Cetaphil daily moisturizer - Differin (lotion) 0.1% ~obviously very mild because of the lotion aspect of it - Duac topical gel (1% clindamycia, 5% benzoyl peroxide) ^ not so sure about the last one's percentages because the way it's labeled is pretty unclear. I'm really hoping to go on Accutane over the summer because although I said my acne is mild, that is only CURRENTLY. I've been through hell and back with my acne for about 3 years and it's never been as good as I've wanted it to be. I also have a LOT of scarring/hyperpigmentation, nothing too serious like ice-picks, but still enough to be self conscious over (and I'm considering getting Fraxel for that). YES, I do wear makeup, and a lot of it, but it would be nice to just have good skin without having to cake on a mask just to look presentable. Did I mention that I have oily skin? OILY, as in a frickin grease-pit within an hour of wearing makeup. Sucks balls but hello?! Accutane will solve that. Or at least I'm hoping it will. Once I get it... hopefully soon. Ugh. /rant over Diet status: pretty poor, but hey. it's holiday break. sue me. Aaand, I guess this is about it. I'll update in probably a week, maybe before that if there's anything to report. kbai

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