I've been apathetic updating this blog and started off so keen to write frequently, but failed to sustain enthusiasm. Anyway, update on my skin: looking pretty good, contented where I am right now, though still ghostly pale with lightly red stained cheeks, distinct faint markings signifying the remnants of the past volcanic patches that inhabited my cheeks and neck. On my neck I've got really noticeable red markings where I had big coin sized cysts inhabiting the side of my neck. Though I may mo
Run out of medication because my Dermatology Clinic rescheduled my appointment because they were very busy. So, been without any medication since beginning of the month. Fortunately my acne was already cleared up, except for a couple spots now and then on my back. Acne hasn't got worse and my skin isn't dry any more so feeling good. Had an appointment with dermatologist yesterday and expressed my anxiety for the acne coming back. He was attentive and helpful, though I didn't get what I wan
I'm now 19! Skin is glowing! But my neck still isn't clear, and my complexion isn't even, and texture not totally smooth, blah-blah-blah--Whatever, right? Well... I know as you probably know it's easier in theory to not let such minor, superficial imperfections bother you, but it is difficult still even now despite the huge transformation I've made. Got a haircut a couple of weeks ago and I'm feeling a lot more confident, but I still have moments where I become obssesive about the tone, texture,
My acne is getting better but progress has been slow, still pretty much where I was in my last post, where my face was clear but my neck was swollen with red painful cysts, which is where I am now. But I've kept my hair long to cover most of my neck so it doesn't bother me too much. I'm still on a 60mg dose of Accutane. I've decided as of yesterday to increase my prozac dose from 40mg to 60mg because I still feel anxious, and awkward, and most of all frustrated because of how slow the progr
I am still not completely rid of my acne. My face is totally clear which is amazing, but on my neck and back I still have very red and painful cysts. I'm slightly dissapointed that I'm not completely clear of my acne coming up to month 6, but many dermatologists have told me that this is normal and that most people are not completely clear by the end of month 6. I think it is worth keeping in mind that I started on very low doses, 10mg for the first month, 20mg the second, 30 the third, 40 the f
109 days into my Accutane treatment and I'm still not totally clear. Feeling disappointed but still hopeful for the future at the same time. I have confidence that I will be clear, in only another couple of months I hope. The storm I mentioned a month ago turned out to be a mirage, the storm disappeared. I have increased my dose to 40mg. My skin and lips are even more dry and I'm still getting painful large cysts on my neck but they're smaller, and I don't get so many as frequently as I used to.
My acne has gotten worse, I've got huge cysts popping up on my neck, everywhere, mostly at the back of my neck, running down my lower back. It hurts like hell to crane my neck side to side. This one cyst I have on the left side of my neck, is coin size, and red, swollen, very painful to touch. Tried to pop it, but nothing really came up, because, it's not really puss-filled, which is weird, getting these cysts that don't have any gunk, so, just leave them alone and they eventually flatten out, g
Went to my dermatology clinic today, saw a new dermatologist who has increased my dose to 30mg a day. My blood reports are all good despite having over-indulged on chocolate and alcohol and cigarettes over the Christmas season. My Acne has significantly improved and so has my confidence, as acne has been a big confidence drainer for me. I still hate my photo being taken and squirm inside under the really strong fluorescent lighting you find in convenience stores. But, I feel a lot more confident
I like this quote because it's a postive thought (though a bit vulgar) when your self-esteem is low. I feel it's important to remember that even the King who sits upon the highest throne has to poop. What more is there to say - the magics in the image. It's easy to get carried away believing that others are more important than us, though we are all equal when it comes to the basic physiological functions of the body. Letting out a cacophony of farts at a dinner party is not the end of the world,
Into my first month and my skin has noticeably improved. Not much too report on the progress I'm making. It's been slow but I can say the medication is definitely working and that I feel it will clear me up in no time, considering how long I've had acne, a few months isn't a long time at all. From 6 months on 1 antibiotic to 6 months on the next that didn't work. Well, they all worked to an extent but even when I did start to become clearer they would stop having an effect, making my life an emo
It's my brothers birthday and have had a wonderful (minus constant antagonising) time with my dysfunctional separated family, who save 1 sister all got together for a few hours to celebrate. My skin is looking worse. I think it's because my skin is getting so dry and am not using moisturiser. Used Aloe Vera gel yesterday evening and that has helped significantly, and didn't break me out so will continue using it sparingly. Don't want to wear it during the day, as have done before because i
Into week 3 on Accutane and I have made significant progress this week! There are less cysts, well most of the red painful cysts that I had on my back and neck have sunk. My skin is more sensitive, finding I flare up easily, like the gentle friction from the straps of the bags I carry on my shoulders, will irritate a cyst on my back causing it to become more swollen and painful to the touch by the end of the day. Skin is dry but not dry enough that I really need to use moisturiser, though contem
I'm on day 18 of taking Accutane and positive right now. See my lovely dermatologist in 9 days on the 29th! Hopefully she will (well fairly confident she will) up my dose, don't know what to. But keen on getting treatment in motion. Want to blitz my treatment, to be over with it as soon as possible.
I stood under the long cold cylindrical dirty sterile light of my mom's filthy kitchen. Mom leaned in close to examine my face like a human telescope adjusting her field of vision. My little sister craned her long little neck from behind her like a meerkat searching the horizon for predators. Mom said 'your skin has definitely improved...There's only a few pimples here and there' pointing here and there with her leathery evil finger like my face was a geography map. Sister interrupted her and sa
So it's been 2 weeks on Accutane 10mg. 1 month since I started blogging and I'm happier than I've been in a long time. My skin has significantly improved in texture and the amount of active acne I have is reduced. My skin is starting to get drier but only really in the areas where I have active acne. Skin is less oily. Last night and this morning all I did was splash cool water on my skin and my skin is fine. Less itchy than it was before. Using 'cetaphil' gentle cleanser for face and 'original
Jim Harrison, Julip This is the opening quote from the chapter 'The Momentum of Change' in the novel 'Candy' written by Luke Davies that was translated into a film starring Heath Ledger and Abbie Cornish who play two lovers caught in a devastating love triangle with, well, let's call her H. You can watch the trailer on the link below. www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi3367764249/ The quote has really stuck with me, like a splinter in the back of my mind permanently lodged in their.
My nose is very dry and the skin is flaking especially at the corners, the whole of my t-zone is starting to become drier, some blackheads on my nose but it's not too noticeable. I have an irresistible urge to scratch my nose. It doesn't hurt to smile any more which makes me ecstatic. When people told me to smile because they thought I was sad, well I was, but the point was it hurt to smile - that was a really bitter experience. Made me feel so socially awkward. Now I am feeling more confi
Today I got a haircut, well actually... I got all my hairs cut. I like it its short on the sides (not shaved though) and back and long on the top and longer on the fringe. My hair is naturally wavy so try to accentuate this feature. I have very big ears so need long hair to create the illusion of having normal sized ears, instead of ears like the buddah. The experience wasn't as excruciatingly painful as I thought it would be. Having always hated getting my haircut from a young age as my parents
I watched Prozac Nation yesterday - the film adaptation of bratty depressed Wurtzel's memoirs. www.thecrimson.com/article/1994/9/29/prozac-nation-elizabeth-wurtzels-unofficial-guide/ I didn't write that review but its good. Reading the novel or watching the film will in no way help you if you suffer from depression, take it from someone who's been (is sort of) depressed. But, it is worth watching if you're into whining about everything and being self-obsessed constantly like me (not real
I've been very good this week and have not had any fags or booze, eating less cake and chocolate, and water - drinking lots of water, and taking a multivitamin and zinc supplement every day. This week has been a slow week. Not having any booze was difficult but it should get easier. My skin and lips are considerably drier, using carmex lip balm for lips but don't need any moisturiser for face just yet. So spots are drying up and scabbing...errgh! Telling myself that all the odd spots poppin
I've been feeling sluggish lately. Last night I went to bed early and slept for a long time like a log through Guy-Fawkes night, with fireworks screeching before exploding all around me, everywhere! This is unusual for me as I usually suffer from insufferable insomnia, hopefully this will pass as I don't like feeling tired early in the day, it feels unusual and that frightens me. My heart beats slower, so slow I worry that my ticker will stop ticking in my sleep. Hopefully this will pass. I have
When I feel self concious I always recall vividly a snippet from the film 'children of men'. It tells the story of a man struggling with life in a nightmarish dystopian future ravished by war, and where women have become infertile. The main character Theo needs help from a powerful friend who saves famous pieces of art work while the world collapses from war. He's escorted in a silver bentley to the Tate Modern gallery in London. On arrival in the foyer he is met by two shaggy greyhounds who lie
I am so glad to be finally prescribed the accutane. After having tried almost every other alternative including Dan's 'magical' regimen. I persevered with the regimen for a few weeks, but quit because my acne was only getting worse, and my skin was so dry that no amount of moisturiser could make my skin stop constantly flaking like a snow storm. On 10mg a day, 2 5mg capsules to be taken after meals. This feels like a very low dose, the normal starting dose being 20mg. This is only to be su