Waking up this morning I yawned and I could feel the painful pimples on my face that I had picked yesterday. I immediately wanted to pick more at them but when I looked at them in the mirror I talked to myself out loud and told myself that it would only make things worse. I read about talking to yourself in the Chill Out section of this website and I believe that it really helps. Also, when I had the urge to pick in front of the mirror I had to keep my hands busy. ANything helps as long as you're not touching your face. I know that I can make it through day 1!! Also, I started a new acne kit I picked up from my dermatologist yesterday so I will also blog about that and how it's working for me. It's called Clenziderm for dry to normal skin.
So ever since I can remember I have always picked my skin. When I was little I would pick at scabs or my nails and I eventually had to go to a therapist even at a very young age. I set up a picking chart and I would wear socks on my hands because I would give myself scars by picking so much. When I started getting acne my picking got really bad. I almost always had a zit to be popped in middle school and once I get started picking it's almost impossible for me to stop. Now I am out of high school but I still deal with the occasional break out. Yet, when I find myself starting to pop one zit, before I know it I spend an hour in front of the mirror picking at everything on my face. The feeling when I am picking is like a drug. Nothing else matters and time flies. I do have a lot of anxiety and when I am picking I don't feel any of that. However, the after effects are horrible. I isolate myself for days after I pick my skin because I feel so disgusting. I sometimes look in the mirror after picking and just cry and tell myself how disgusting I am for doing that to myself. That of course doesn't help anything but I always feel worse than before after I pick. I know that I am doing damage to myself when I am picking it's like my hands have a mind of their own and I can't even stop. I have decided that enough is enough and I set up a way to help me stop picking using this blog to help me. I know that if I can type on my blog instead of picking things will get better. When I can make it a few days or a week without picking myself I am the happiest I can be.
My steps to stop picking:
1. Only touch my face in the morning to wash and apply lotion and makeup and at night to wash and apply lotion
2. Whenever I have the urge to touch my face or pick, type on my blog about what is causing the urge
3. Clench my fists until the urge to pick is relieved and talk to myself that picking only makes things worse
4. Pick at my nails instead of my face (gradual steps to stop picking all together)
5. Start with small goals, 1 day at a time, then move to weeks, then to months