Ok so after all the topicals and pills and expensive treatments my ance is about 80% better (But I dont want to speak to soon) I dont have much sebum lurking under my skin now which I'm very greatful for. It seems though that most of the spots I had have left all these red flat marks on my face (Mainly cheeks, a bit on forehead, a tiny bit on chin) I still look pretty disgusting without makeup because I have extremely fair skin and even with powder on my face some of the scars show through. It really annoys me and all I have been told by the derm is to wait Of course I'm trying different scar fading remedies but I'm really unsure about when their going to fade. I hope it'll be sorted by the end of the christmas holiday so I can go back to all my friends because I've started to miss them loads, It's been months since I've had a conversation with someone I really care about and its all because of this curse.
I'm now on dianette! I really do hope this pill will be a success otherwise I'll be looking at the dreaded accutane So I'll now give my routine: I use panoxyl, Cepton (face wash), Duac (Antibiotic gel) Simple moisturiser and an array of colour correcting gels for my scarring. I'm going to get Lumie clear a red and blue light treament for skin and N-lite a laser treament (EXPENSIVE) and I also take antibiotics. So the state of my face is more scarring than spots, I have scars on my cheeks mostly and jaw line but I have left over redness on my chin and forehead. I still get spots but the main problem is the left over red marks. So the plan is to stop my skin from producing sebum and get my acne completely under control so that I can then fade all the scarring. I'm not searching for perfect skin, I just want normal skin meaning getting 1 or 2 spots around the time of my period but what I have now is constant and it's really putting a hault to my life. I'll keep updating this to show how things work out.
Acne is fatal. Oh, no you dont end up dead because of it but you do stop living. The most painful part about all this isnt all the sore spots and scars on my face neither is it the fact that people try not to stare at my skin. Its knowing what could of been. What could happen if my skin did become clear. Well one thing for sure i know my appearance would change, i would stop caking my face in foundation that makes my skin look lumpy and orange and i would concentrate on bringing out my eyes more. They have always been my best feature, big with long lashes and colour that swicthes from blue to green depending on lighting. Then i would start wearing more daring clothing that i have never had the confidence to try. School wouldnt change much i dont think, i will always be loyal to the few friends i have now, maybe i would make some new ones but i will always stick to the friends i have now. My life outside school however would change, mainly because i dont have much of one at the moment. When i'm not at school i usually stay in my room reading or listening to music, that includes the weekends. I dont get out much but if i didnt have acne i would go out evey weekend with my friends going cinema, shopping etc also i would go to more concerts- not the big ones but the small ones where you really get a feel for the music and get to know everyone and actually make some good friends not to mention all the cute band boys although they're just merely eye candy which brings me to my last.... wish. If i had clear skin i would get the boy i fancy to fall for me, he isnt a pretty boy and he isnt in a band but he is funny, very smart and really interesting. Thats what i go for a boy with brains he even goes to a private school- yes you can think higher middle class but he isnt a snob or anything-just has an adorable posh voice. None of this can ever happen though.... not now anyway. I'm trying everything to make my skin clear... some of it hurts but thats ok... i'm sick and tired of all this self pity and depression. I just want to be able to look at my reflection and not be disgusted by what i see.
Just got back from a hard day at school and i'm in a good mood so i wanted to post something positive for a change A couple of months ago my skin was covered with red'n bumpy painful cysts but after taking some stuff from the doctors my skin began to make a slow improvement... slow yes but still an improvement. My skin no longer is sore and when i touch it it's considerably more flat and smooth as alot of my cheek acne has gone and the remaining has gone down but each spot has left red dottey marks on my face that wont seem to go. Thats why i'm getting the N-lite laser treament, to fade red marks and (seeing as i dont get surface spots) kill the other spots deep within my skin. N-lite is a short term solution though and thats why i really want to go on dianette so it can control my hormones... i might try and beg the derm i'm going to see to put me on it.
Just got back from the doctors and bad news My doctor wouldnt prescribe me on dianette because he feels "weary" of me taking it at my age Which is stupid because its not even him whos going to take it... i mean i seriously wouldnt care if that pill made me grow an extra finger as long as it made my skin clear Ahhh well instead he put me on this pill called tetralysal which i dont think will work but still i gotta try and i have this face gel called duac and another face wash called cepton (Whats up with all these weird names?!) and he's going to try and get me an appointment with a proper derm which should be good anyway i still have to wait nearly a week in till n-lite.... My goal is to get clear by christmas and i want to stick to it!
Yeah this is my second blog but it's late and i'm bored. Like i said i'm going to see a GP and try to get him to prescribe me the dianette pill.... i really hope he does My life has seriously changed. I dont go out anymore. Like at all. The only time i'm in public is when i'm at school and it's terrible to be surrounded by so many other people. It feels like their all watching and judging me Let me just point out my situation with this-
A list of what i dont do anymore since my acne explosion:
and just plain and simple hanging out with friends... i hardly laugh anymore.
Ok so i just got on this acne.org thingie but recently i felt like it was something i had to do... writing down my problems seems to make things better... somehow As you can probably tell i am a teenager, just turned 15 but yes about the acne! I've had it for about 3 or 4 years now... wow that seems long It all started in year 7... which was a HORRID time for me i mean i had a middle parting, no makeup and ACNE! Yes i was bullied. I tried a load of spot creams including clearasil (Which they should re-name FAILasil ) it made things worse, then i tried freederm which yet again completely back-fired on me In the end my mum found this thing called panoxyl which actually made things a good bit better but i still always had spots on my face yet they were alot better than they were before. About halfway through year 8 i got a haircut (bye bye disgusting middle parting, hello sexy side fringe! ) and i started wearing makeup and around that time period my skin wasnt clear but i had a little amount of spots which i could cover up quite easily which foundation (which yes i know is bad but i would never leave the house without makeup these days!) I suddenly got quite alot of friends after that... in fact for about a year and a half i had finally gotten a life- friends, boys, parties, concerts and sleepovers. The whole teenage dream. Even though i had a good social life and wasnt a victim of bullies i still felt... ugly. I could still feel the spots under the makeup... i felt like a total fake. But those feelings aside by the end of year 9 my confidence level was at an all time high.... (That could be down to a certian boy cough cough ) but the effects of the panoxyl had started to wear off and i really wanted my skin to be completely clear... so i kinda went on this quest for a miracle skin clearing product. I tried everything from harsh skin-burning chemicals to all natural smelly soaps- none of it worked. The acne came back worse than ever! Like cystic acne all over my cheeks, chin, forehead, jawline and near my nose My socail life went to a halt... i dont hang out in a big group anymore, just five really nice girls and i havent dated anyone in months as im back in year 10 and school has been hell. I went to the doctor did the whole antibiotics thing but that flopped anyway i want my life back! I'm not going to give up and i have one last hope! It may be slightly drastic but i HAVE to try. So i heard about this thing called dianette its a contraceptive pill that can work wonders for acne... though it takes long and there is side effects (Pffff like i care) but while i wait for that to kick in i'm going to get that N-lite thing (a type of laser treatment) and some other skin treatments by that clinic to speed up the prosess. So i'm (hopefully) going to get the dianette from my doctors tomozzy and in the half term get the n-lite treatments and of course follow- ups which all in all should take mouths to actually work. I'm hoping my skin clears by christmas... i really do hope this all works i want my life back