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Pictures of my skin and the first step to sorting it

Ok, so for anyone who might be reading this, this is my first step to trying to sort the problem out. I believe I have a case of Dermatillomania, which is where you can’t stop picking yourself. So much so that it causes scars and bleeding. Seems to be a mental thing......so yep I must be mental because what I’m doing to myself isn’t short of self harming!!............except I don’t want the attention I can’t stand people looking at my sores/scars! I’ve included pics in my profile for people to see and I hope that I can help others while I try to help myself because it’s a crazy messed up condition. I will try to research this issue in-between work commitments and the weekends I’m not saying it's gonna be a perfect blog or I will succeed but I need to start taking action as its starting to piss me off. So I know hoping for big things straight away isn’t realistic, I’m taking the slowly slowly catchy monkey approach. Still the pics show the problem I get ache on my arms, most of the time its little red pimples (so I’m lucky in that sense I guess), the real issue is the squeezing and picking. I will squeeze and pick until I have created massive holes/sores many times the size of the original spot. There’s a switch in my brain that just makes me do it I don’t know why. But I look for the irregular bump along my arm and once I find it I will use my fingers, tweezers, knives , scalpels, anything sharp to squeeze or cut it out..........but why?!! I even do it sub-consciously, feeling for the bumps till find one. I sometimes think I’m trying to make things better by ‘removing the imperfection’ but instead end up with arms pissing blood. Then once scabs appear I will continue to pick them because they themselves are ‘imperfections’ and must be removed.....it’s crazy.......it’s a vicious circle I can’t stop. Still this blog is my first step to trying to fix me...............I will try to fill in a weekly update of the trails and errors of treating my arms for spots and scars. So today 6th of July 2010 I got home from work, got changed into a pair of shorts as it’s too hot for anything else and found myself already picking..............FFS! arrgghhh not a good start. However i did pick up a book of 1001 home remedies and natural cures....I want to try these first before i go for the harder man made stuff. So step one spots....well my spots seem to under control at the moment the book has the usual remedies that you guys have heard of: Oatmeal face pack Aloe vera, Strawberry /blackberry leaves, Witch hazel, Tea bags, Rose water, toothpaste, orange peel, sugar, apple & cucumber, milk, cloves, tomato puree, tee tree, nettle tea, peppermint, anuka honey, peroxide and honey. All these need to be prepared and used in different ways. I have never heard of some of these as treatments form spots but will try them the next outbreak I get. Well I’m currently having 2 showers a day and using dove soap, no moisturiser, seems to be working at the mo although it’s not 100% perfect. As for scarring the remedies are: Onions & vinegar, potato, rose hip, coconut milk, Vitamin E oil, cucumber, papaya, honey, mint leaves, and finally sandalwood & rose paste. Now I’m not saying that these will work, in fact I really find it hard to believe but heh just the thought of rubbing a raw potato or cucumber all over my arm is making me laugh so what the hell! So today I have tried cucumber ha ha...crazy stuff. Maybe I could makeshift some sort of protective sleeve to cover my arms when I’m at home to stop me physically picking them...........hmmmmmmm might have to try that. That’s my blog for today I promise the next one won’t be soooo wordy!