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urrrrghhhh

well the horrible spot had a yucky scab on it this morning and it came off so now i am left with an open wound on my face, great! not going anywhere today and keeping a plaster over it in the hope it will heal! the two on my chin havent come up fully but they are bigger so the BP is really not touching them at all! I can tell they are going to be nast ones too...any advice? skin is less dry today but still a bit flakey, even in the bits where i didnt put the bp last night. Hating this at the moment, face is a mess, cant go anywhere, dont want to see anyone and walking round with a plaster on my face....this is a reminder to me - never squeeze another spot - EVER! you think we would learn - why did i do it! it would probably have nearly one now! fingers crossed it will heal and quick! will post again tomorow - people are reading this so please leave some comments!! xx

Del!

Del!

06/16/2010

 

starting with Dan's BP

Hi everyone, I thought I'd keep a log of my bp nightmare/progress.....so here goes! So Im 24 and so far I have been on Diannette for 7 months with little improvement and I am now on my 4th week of minocycline, that isnt helping much either! I have also tried clean and clear advantage with salicyclic acid, acnease (waste of time) acnescript not really helping, collodial silver, tea tree, freederm...the list goes on!! I only drink water and green tea, dont drink alcohol or fizzy stuff, no dairy and lots of fruit veg salmon and chicken. I take a acidphilus, multivitamin, omega 3 fishoil, lecethin, msm, starflower oil and vitamin c every day. So anyway...my sisters wedding and my second graduation next month so desperate times!! I ordered dans products - the cleanser, treatment and moisturiser but was scared about starting. Then 6 nights ago I found my panoxyl 2.5 in the drawer, never stuck out using it before! so i used it and for 3 days my skin was ok, then it got irritated and flakey so on the 4th night i switched to dans bp. Im using cetaphil gentle cleanser as it is good at removing make up with a cotton pad and im using eucerin moisturiser. My skin is really dry and tight right now, hoping this will pass soon! hate peeling my skin off! only using a tiny amount in the evening and not doing it in the morning just yet. Tonight my face did not sting when i put on moisturiser which it has done for a few nights but i didnt put it around my mouth this evening as this is where it is the most irritated. Thankfully I dont have to go out muh for the next few days, only to drop my daughter off at school so it can stay dry and flakey! Anybody in the UK that can reccommend a moisturiser they think is better that eucerin feel free!! really not wanting to use dans as too many people have said bad things about it! waiting for jojoba oil to arrive in the post, any tips on that would be great too!! I will update as often as I can... Right now I have 1 nasty spot on my chin which is bad coz i tried squeezing it - naughty! lots of little bumps on right side of chin, 1 random little bump on my head which doesnt want to to anything and two comming up on my chin, not sure how they are going to go just yet!! keep u posted...all comments, advice, support and criticisms welcome! xxx

Del!

Del!

06/15/2010

Last Reply:
06/27/2010

 

second time today!

well this is the end of day 8, used bp morning and night - not much but about a pea size amount twice a day is enough for now, I will up it in a coupple of days! Well i popped both of the two painful ones on my chin - they were just getting bigger and they hurt like hell! mostly blood in there really but cleaned them with tea tree and put an ice pack on them for about 2 hours and have put some aloe vera gel on them. will see how they are tomorrow! The scabby bit is healing slowly - been putting aloe vera gel on and a plaster over it. as for the dryness - my face wasnt uncomfortable when I came out of the shower thank god! realised why my moisturiser was stinging - it has lactic acid init, which is like AHA - just read that in dans FAQ. Woops, not spposed to mix bp and aha for a few weeks coz of the stinging but it doesnt sting anymore so never mind! Have ordered a different eucerin moisturiser and a simple one am thinking about cetaphil if anyone has an opinion on their moisturiser??? any how, i rang the doc and she has referred me to a derm which may take a while, but she said i have to take minocycline for thre months before they will consider giving my accutane (iso) but i intend to beg and plead. I am ready for it now i think, read the horror stories but seen the results people have had! anyways, will post tomoz, early night lots of sleep and hopefully wake up feeling happier!! bye xxx

Del!

Del!

06/17/2010

 

one month down

Well its been 4 weeks and according to the what to expect page I should be pretty much clear now, but I'm not! Still have two lumps next to my lip and there is puss in there but it isn't coming to a head at all so just going to have to leave them be. So annoying coz they both scabbed over, scab came off, more puss there! Wtf!! New spot on my chin which is growing so I'm in two minds whether to pop it or leave it alone! 3 tiny new little spots have come up above my lip and still have some lilltle bumps under the skin on my head. One new liitle lump has shown up on my. Jaw as well. So all in all not feeling too good about having graduation and a wedding this weekend. I'm just so fed up of this. I hate waking up each morning to inspect my face! Derm appointment in 11 days. Still undecided as to whether I should push for accutane or not, its a scary prospect! Anyway, will update tomorrow!! Xxx

Del!

Del!

07/07/2010

 

hate my face

well the yucky scab came off again so still got an open wound on my face so still wearing a plaster! used bp this morning so will try for twice a day from now on, still using a tiny amount, face is still dry but not as bad. the two spots on my chin are just lumps that really hurt, wish they would just get a head or piss off! what I dont get is this.....if BP puts oxygen into the skin and bacteria cannot frm in oxygenated environments, they why dont the spots die and why do they come up in the first place?! not a good day anyway, not leaving the house again, fed up and had enough! minocycline is supposed to work by now, Im over the three week mark so why isnt it working?? ringing doc this morning to get a refferal to a derm, think its time to see about isotretinoin (accutane)....cant take much more of this. Acne has done wonders for weight loss - Im so depressed I cant eat, people think im anorexic! its not cool at all but i cant eat when im sad. feel weak and tired all the time. wish there was a miracle cure! talk to you later xx

Del!

Del!

06/17/2010

Last Reply:
06/17/2010

 

fuck fuck fuck

Well its amazing how much can change in a day! Last night I thought my skin looked ok and went to bed feelin all right about it! Wake up this morning, new spot on the jawline, that's the third in three days, a lump forming by my mouth which is really swollen and I think will turn into a nodule! And where the old nodule was healing from 4 weeks ago, was just a little bit of skin dangling off so I gently rubbed it and my face started pissong with blood!! Great, another wound and another scab! I have had enough! My face looks worse now than before I started and I'm starting to have serious doubts this is going to work. Four bumps on my head still waiting to come a play and a few more on my chin. Graduation is in a week and I really don't know what I'm going to do! I can't go when I look like this. Worse still, I read through my letter from the derm and what it actually says is ....we will write to you 4 weeks before your appointment is due, meaning I may not have an appointment for months. Seriously had enough now! Minocycline is nearly at the 6 week mark so that should be working by now but its not. Why me!?

Del!

Del!

07/02/2010

 

End of Day 23

Well Im getting so frustrated, honestly about 3 more have pooped up on my chin through out the course of the day! Im using nearly the full amount of BP - which is fine coz im missing out part of my cheeks. My left cheek is covered in loads of little bumps now, the left side of my mouth looks awful and ther is something big brewing on my chin, still 4 bumps under the skin on my head. Honestly, my face looks a mess, such a difference from last night! So I rang the hospital to see how long the wait was for me to see a derm and its 4 months....so... I rang a private derm 60 miles away(!!!!) and have an apt in 2 weeks and 3 days and counting. Obviously my face is going to be fuct for graduation and my sisters wedding next weekend but heres to hoping that the derm can give me something! Its gonna cost £130 for the initial consultation but sod it, it has to be done. Its not like I spend money on going out or anything!! Can I really do accutane though? Im scared, like really scared but I feel like it is my last hope at saving my face.

Del!

Del!

07/02/2010

Last Reply:
07/05/2010

 

End of day 15

WELL ....i had to pop the one by my mouth...because it was throbbing and i could feel it all day! so i wrapped my fingers in tissue and pushed it a tiny but and the puss came out - just like that! i did push a bit more and got some blood so i stopped then. Have cleansed, bp'd and moisturised and will put some aloe vera and ice on it later and hope for the best!! The one on my head thats been sat there for days had a tiny head so i popped that too. Also a blackhead by my mouth really came up ready to be popped and two little bumps that have been on my chin for a while also came to tiny - and i mean tiny - little head so they had it too!! so skin is deffo still purging a bit but I would rather have ten little spots than one massive one. The last time I had a nodul cyst kind of thing (dont know what to call it - the ones that never get a head and sit there swollen for ages) was three weeks so im guessing that being a lady it is in the next few days it will happen! fingers crossed I dont coz the last one (three weeks ago) went down after about 6 days - religious icing) but in its place i have dealt with about 4 little white head things under the skin! so anyway, used about half a finger and had so much bp i really didnt know what to do with it! anybody else have this problem?!?!? Right need to ice this spot again now, really hope it heels as fast as the others did! they were over and done with in three days! please god please!!! xxx

Del!

Del!

06/24/2010

 

end of day 14

dry skin and about 3 new spots - gutted! On a positive note, I was awarded a first class honours degree in management and business today! Still pissed off with new spots and cant decide on a moisturiser! eucerin or simple?? Fed up now anyway! speak tomorrow guys xxx

Del!

Del!

06/23/2010

 

End of day 13!

Nearly at the two week mark! Thats gone really quick! Well a new tiny little one came up on the right side of my head, but Im always less concerned about them on my head coz i can attempt to cover them with my hair!! Bit of peeling this evening when I took my make up off, but only around the bits that are healing after the nasty breakout last week. no touching again today or obsessing in the mirror! YAY! I really want to up my dosage of minocycline, Ive read loads of people take 100mg twice a day but I only take it once a day, wondering whether to do it for a week then go back to the doctor a bit early for my repeat prescription. What are people's thoughts ????? Any how, got to go as my mum came back from Canada today so got to be sociable! Till tomorrow!!! xxx

Del!

Del!

06/22/2010

 

end of day 10.....doesnt it piss you off when.....

Doesnt it piss you off when your friends or people you know go out drinking every weekend, eat crap, slepp crap and still have great skin?? Just my rant of the day! think I will have one of them every day from now on! Well ive been putting aloe vera gel on the scabs allday and I think they are ready to come off but I have made that mistake too many times so I will do my best to leave them til tomoz when they should come off and not bleed! the wound still hasnt heeled! Im thinking maybe the plaster stoped the air from getting to it so stopped it from healing so no more plaster! Its like the size of a nib of a pen so not huge but its indented so deffo gonna scar....any ideas??? Squeezed the lip zit coz it had a whit head and Ive put some tea tree oil (diluted) on it. Skin is deffo not as dry so upped the BP a little bit more, if I get up to a full finger length it will take a bout a day to dry coz honestly Im on about a third now and that is enough for my whole face!! By the end of the second week I hope to be up to half a finger, maybe in the night and a third in the morning. I do the regimen early in the evening coz it stops me from smoking! trying to quit and have managed to stop from like 4pm onward, keep busy have food, have a shower and do the regimen! I know that if I smoke after I will have to wash my face again!! so it is a good idea!! Not much else to report, night to relax without my 3 year old now! Fantastic - kind of but itsnice to have company from a person who doesnt care if u have a scabby face!! Only one comment so far.....come on guys!! Say hi!! xx

Del!

Del!

06/19/2010

 

day 9 - post 2!

ok, so ive figured that I need to wait at least 20 mins for bp to dry before moisturising so i'm filling my time by posting here. Skin is not as dry and I really feel that panoxyl well and truly messed things up for me. I used a little more that a pea size amount tonight so it may get a bit more dry by tomorrow but by the nd of week two I want to be using half of what I am supposed to be using so I can keep up with Dans recommendations. I also figured that using cetaphil cleanser and only cetaphil is a good idea. I was using tea tree face wash as well which i think was making my skin more dry. It feels strange going in the shower and not using a product to wash my face! But I can see that the simpler the better. In the mornings I have been using clean and clear advantage but I think I'm just going to use cetaphil and I have a tea tree scrub with almond exfoliationg beads which I will use a couple of times a week. Again it will feel odd tomorrow not using face wash so to speak - for those who dont know, cetaphil cleanser isnt a wash, you put it on gently rub it in, wipe it away with cotton pads or tissue (i use cotton pads) - it removes make up well but if I have had a lot of make up on I use a simple face wipe first. Tonight I again used jpjpba oil, one drop on a damp coton pad and I wiped it over my nose and jaw line, will start using it properly soon, but one thing at a time I think! Also today the Niacin I ordered arrived. Ive read good things about it s will give it a go, just one tablet a day. I also realised that I take to many supplements here is the list am - multi vit vit c (500) x 2 - meant to take it with minocycline apparantly b complex lecethin/msm alternate days vitamin e/starflower oil alternate days 2x acidophilus 1x dianette pm - 2x acnescript evening - 1x niacin (500) 1x omega 3 fishoil 1x minocycline (100) thats alot of pills and up until 2 weeks ago I was taking a mega dose of b5 but that wasnt working. Also for anyone that wants to know more about b5, it gave me a bad stomach - permanant and when I started taking it began waking up at 5am every day, regardless of the time I was going to sleep! I am still doing this and havent been able to stop! Its hard work and I end up having to go to sleep at 9 just to deal with it! I have tried keeping myself up til 11/12 but still wake up at 5ish and feel exhausted!! I just know that if my face was clear I could get up and deal with being tired and have the motivation to do things! I havent left the house for three days now, thank god tesco deliver!! the wound is healing slowly, the two I popped yesterday have scabbed over, still a bit sore but nowhere near as painful they were! 1 active one on right side and another one healing on loft side. I am going to order dans aha tonight aswell and prob order more bp as I am using it on my chest too so I dont want to run out! Shame its soooo expensive to ship! I want to add that I started using dans bp on my chest the same time I started using panoxyl on my face and my chest has not gotten dry or irritated at all! Not seeing results yet but hey - its been 9 days and as of tomorrow I will be simplifing things even more! so keeping fingers crossed speak to ya tomorrow!! x

Del!

Del!

06/18/2010

 

Day 9

well today is day 9, managed to put a bit more bp on this morning which is good, im slowly getting it up! Skin isnt as dry today, still got a plaster on, this wound just doesnt want to heal over, its quite deep which is crap, my own fault though for squeezing the life out of it. the two that i popped yesterday have scabbed over and they are not as pinful. still got lots of little spots on the left side which dont seem to want to go away. used a bit of jojoba oil last night, heard that it broke people out sometimes so I just wet a cotton pad and put 1 drop on and rubbed it over my nose and jaw line. dont know if it did anything really!! still feeling crappy coz I know this wound is going to take a long time to heal and it will deffo leave a scar. so another day in the house hiding away! got to love this life - not! really hoping this bp starts working soon! some people see results in the first week, but no not me!! cant wait to get an appointment with a derm now, really cant wait. xx

Del!

Del!

06/18/2010

 

Day 48

well 7 weeks on the regimen is up (almost)! I had my prescription for accutane yesterday and am starting it today. My skin isnt looking that bad if im honest, but the BP has given me scars for sure and also made me break out in places that I never usually did. The BP also failed to get rid of spots tat had been sat under the skin for 6 weeks! I hope my blog has helped some people?! If you want to follow my accutane journey then please do - I have a log going on the message boards. Thanks for reading! Over and OUT!

Del!

Del!

07/27/2010

 

Day 46

Well its my derm appointment tomorrow and I actually felt quite sad this evening that this may be the last time that I am applying bp in the night. Going to be strange! Gonna make this quick as am going to watch a film with my daughter. Cluster on left cheek, small but stil annoying. one had scabbed over and when I was taking my makeup off the scab came off and it bled! being puuting sudocrem on it to help it heal quickly but not working! theres about 5 litle bumps there that are all going to purge on the tane!! GOOD NEWS - one of the bumps that has been on my head for about 6 weeks, came to a kind of head, well i squeezed it anyway and heres hoping that is one down! really hope it will just be a scab tomoz coz its quite small and not that noticable as long as it does not swell up! I had a blackhead on my chin which i squeezed and oh my god the amount of solid white puss that came out was kind of cool!!! one of the lumps on my left jaw line has gone - yes gone, I cant find it!! the other one that I thought had filled back up kind of scabbed over and has gone. the one on the other side is stil there. Lots of cloges pores and stuff but they are only noticable if you look close. If it wasnt for the cluster (which dont look that bad at all really, just in my head they do) my skin would look ok. Guted about that cluster coz they only came after I started BPing. I never had spots on my cheek so I know BP caused them - whatever - they are getting purged very soon hopefully! I also have these two littl millia (SP) spots under my left eye that have been there ages but are tiny so not that bothered. Need to ask the dermy what to do about them, do I squeeze them or will the tane push em out? I will update tomorow! FIngers crossed!

Del!

Del!

07/25/2010

 

Day 45

well it is day 45 and if i am honest it has gone really quickly! face situation - cluster of little spots still on left cheek, ive attacked 2 of them so about 4 left. Three bumps still on my head, they are not shifting! spot on the other side of my head has gone down a bit. little bump on either side of jaw line still there and a cyst that i got rid of a week or so back has returned on my jaw line. it is small but very painful. black heads and clogged pores everywhere. only one little bump left above my lip. Ive been taking 200mg of mino since my derm appt last week and Ive been putting a bit more bp on than usual and still using the AHA. No real dryness, nothing silly anyway. the aha no longer tingles or anything which is good. hoping to start accutane monday or tuesday. everything crossed!!! xx

Del!

Del!

07/24/2010

 

Day 43

ok so over 6 weeks in and skin still looking shit! 1 spot on my head, 4 little bumps under the skin, two of which are getting bigger and have also been there for over 4 weeks. new lump on either side of jaw line. One of the spots in a cluster on my left cheek came to head last night, theres about 5 left there. AHA hasnt touched them so I am guessing they will come when they are ready. About 6 or 7 clogged pore/ blackhead things around my mouth....and the spot above my lip brought two little friends! going insane now, really hoping my bloods are ok so I can start accutane next week coz I cant take much more of this. If everythin purges at the same time with the stuff I have under the skin right now, my face is going to explode so I hope I can get rid of a few of them before next week. feeling quite shit today.

Del!

Del!

07/22/2010

 

day 41

so the hype of yesterday has died down a bit now! I am going to keep up with dans regimen log until I start with accutane. Still taking mino - and have doubled my dosage for the next week am now taking 200mg instead of 100mg per day. I googled it and many people with severe acne take this amount anyway so I am just tring to give myself the best chance of fighting the dreaded IB! Im not a lucky person...never have been, so I know I will get a nasty IB so I am BPing and minocycling away for the next week!!! Custer of bumps still on cheek, one of them is now raised, scabs on jaw line from where i popped things but they are small, red mark on hair line, 3 bumps on head, few new little bumps around my mouth and new spot above my lip! This is nearly 6 weeks into the regimen!! This is after 2 months of mino!! My acne is not severe, but it is god damn persistant!! Post tomorrow guys xxx UPDATE So the spot above my lip came up this morning, a few hours ago it was a lump under the skin so I bp'd it, then put loads of aha on, then and hour later bp''d it again and I just checked it and it had a head not like a gunky yellow one but a solid white one! Madness! So I squeezed it and omg how much puss came out of it! Why is it always the ones by the lip that are filled with endless gunk!? So then I put a bit of emu oil on a tissue then dabbed it on, I've read good things about it so thought I would try it! Some savlon on before bed and hope for the best! May buy some neosporin off ebay tomoz coz that's meant to be good!

Del!

Del!

07/20/2010

 

day 40, derm appointment day!!

Well the day is here and my face looks crap today which is probably a good thing! The one lump on my jaw line that was big last night - well I popped it last night and there was a lot of bloody crap init! The one on my chin had a head last night so popped that. And the one on my hairline had it too! The other one on my jaw line had a head on this morning so I had to squeeze that before I could leave the house! So 4 healing spots on my face and one inflamed blackhead coz I messed with it last night! Normally I wouldn't leave the house looking like this but coz I'm going to the derm I just don't care!! I'm nervous and excited at the same ...... Shall post again after the appointment in a few hours time....60 mile drive now but my friend is taking me so at least I can chill and navigate! Wish me luck guys!

Del!

Del!

07/19/2010

 

day 39

SPOT CHECK - still two on my jaw line, one of which is getting ready to be big.....another one joined the one on my hairline, one more to join the three on my head and the little bumps on my left cheek are back - oh and one on my chin! So I am in my 6th week and deffo not clear! i think dan needs to change the what to expect page coz honestly it is not right!! Derm appointment tomorrow...will let you know how I get on!

Del!

Del!

07/18/2010

 

day 37

Hi! Well I used the AHA again last night around my mouth and I used moisturiser after and my skin wasnt too dry this morning. Spot check - two bumps still on my jaw line, 1 on my hair line and still 3 on my head! Few blackheads on my chin and above my lip. The ones on my jaw line dont want to die but they are quite small at the moment and the ones on my head - well, I think Im the onlyone that can see them right now, but I would prefer them to DIE!!! Still not drinking green tea, not taking MSM or Lecethin ....am now taking 1gram of B5 but wont go any higher as Ive been there and done that!! Not much else to report really....derm appointment in 3 days! Hope you're all ok...going to have a relaxing night now! BYE!!

Del!

Del!

07/16/2010

 

Day 35

hey guys....well my skin is still really dry around my mouth area which is pants! it looks awful and feels so tight...used a tiny amount of bp tonight and will maybe use aha tomorrow night if the dryness has subsided a bit. ive had to put loads of moisturizer on tonight and will put more on before bed. spot wise i was ok this morning but now i have two more little bumps on my right jaw line and a new pimple on my chin which was tiny but i still attacked it! a lot of healing going on and stil 3 bumps on my head!! i went to the doctor today to get more minocycline and she said I was looking better which is good! Got another two months worth off her but I told her that it was really affecting my stomach ....she asked if i could tolerate it and I said yes but not for much longer. She said I would be better off talking to the derm next week so thats what I will do! Im really expecting a massive breakout coz i have been eating really badly the last 4/5 days...really bad!! but its been so nice to eat some unhealthy food....i missed chocolate! Anyhow night all xxxx

Del!

Del!

07/14/2010

 

Day 34

Oh my god my face is dry dry dry! I tought the AHA was meant to exfoliate? All around my mouth is so flakey, its like starting the regimen all over again! Going to lay off the aha round my mouth for a few days and just moisturise....seriously the amount of skin that came off this morning was insane! I may have to not out bp there tonight just to try and sort it out a bit!! I really want to use the jojoba oil but im scared that it was holding me back a bit! Still got three bumps on my head! both umps on my jaw line had heads last night but one of them didnt want to die, so even though i popped it, it had puss init again this morning! the one on the other side has flattened out this morning. Still not impressed with how this is going! Cant wait to take my makeup off and moisturise my face! Maybe the AHA irritated my skin a bit and caused the flakyness? I dont know but it has caused no problems on the rest of my face and it was only round my mouth that it tingled. Anyway, will use it on the rest of my face tonight and just normal moisturiser round my mouth. Derm appt next monday!! yay! xxx

Del!

Del!

07/13/2010

 

Day 33

Well its coming up for 5 weeks and I am still miserable! New lump on my jaw line - one on either side! One if them has been a tiny bump for about 6 weeks and the other olny started forming a few days ago. They are rght under the jaw so leaving them well alone for as long as i can! Still got three bumps on my head...when will they go away! The blackheads i played with last night? Well one on my chin scabbed over and i pulled it off so i have a tiny wound on my face that really hurts! Started using the AHA last night, just a little bit all over my face, I am really hoping itwill help to even my face out a bit!! The family stuff is over now so if i react badly to it then i can hide away for a while!! Derm appointment this tie next week! YAY!!!!! xxx

Del!

Del!

07/12/2010

 

day 26

Is it wrong that I am more excited about going to the dermatologist in 13 days, than I am about my graduation or my sisters wedding?! Update, still dealing with the remains of the nodule from over 4 weeks ago. Its still a lump but I'm going to have to leave it alone. It just doesn't want to die!! Next to it is another little lump which I'm hoping will deflate soon! There is something waiting to come up on my chin and a few little scabs too. The spot that came up on my head yesterday that I popped has flattened down and is just a red mark now. The bp has really brought out previous red marks that were pretty much gone but now they look worse for some reason! My chin looks a mess to be honest!! 4 days til graduation and I keep telling myself that I'm going to enjoy it no matter what but I don't think I will. Its going to be really hard. I've had to use a little less bp last night and this morning coz my skin was so dry and flakey. Still not using the jojoba oil just incase it was making things worse. I dreamt last night I was on accutane! What a dream! Hopefully it will be a reality soon!! Xxx

Del!

Del!

07/05/2010

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