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Acne is ruining my life

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Acne is Ruining my Life

My freshman year in high school, l I remember going to school with little to no makeup, without styling my hair, and just being plain ol' me. As I looked around and saw other girls getting all done up, I started to feel self-conscious. So I did what they did to fit in. However, I soon developed moderate acne that made things even worse. It might have been due to the makeup or maybe the stress, but looking back at my yearbook photo that was taken before I started to wear makeup etc. my skin looks beautiful. I would give anything to have that skin back. Sophomore year I moved and went to a new high school. I went to a derm and he prescribed me cephalexin, duac, and differen. He also suggested I purchase AquaGlycolic. Soon my acne was going away and my confidence was back. Just a couple pimplse here and there, but nothing I couldn't handle. However, I discontinued the cephalexin b/c I was getting sick a lot and so I think it was weakening my immune system. Since then I have been on and off with it, only taking it when my acne was bad and inflamed. Fast forward to now. I'm a sophomore in college. Last year, I remember having amost flawless skin. I washed with MicaBella's Cleaning Milk and toned with their Rosewater Toner or whatever it was called. I also used their mineral foundation which NEVER made me break out (unlike bareminerals). My bf at the time died and it was a terrible thing and very shocking. For two weeks I sat in my room and cried and did nothing else. For some reason, I remember my acne came back on and off after this. I now have a bf and going to his apartment to drink and sleeping over definitely took it's toll. I started getting large cysts and my derm told me to discontinue my birth control (which I had been taking for about 2 month) and these cysts went away. In the last couple months my skin was flawless. I wasn't taking any medication, just eating healthy and working out and getting sunlight. In May, it all changed. It started with a tiny pimple on my left cheek, barely noticeable. This turned into 2-3 medium sized pimples the next day, and soon I was dealing with acne again. It's almost always on the lower half of my face, starting at the hollows of my cheeks and going down to the sides of my chin. This time I got it on my chin as well, and some on my forehead. I got do desparate to cure it I went back on cephalexin and started looking for tips on here. I tried calamine, tea tree oil, yogurt mask for red marks, egg whites, lemon, skin pills, zinc, krill oil, etc. I drank lemon water and started working out and eating healhty again. My skin FINALLY was clearing up (except for PIH) so I stopped taking antibiotics cuz they are not good for you. And then, lo and behold, I got 2 new pimples and 2 days later I'm sitting here with my left side of my face covered in acne and acne marks and my chin and ride side hav a few as well. THIS IS TERRIBLE. I just want to live life without having to worry about skin infections all over my face. I can't even drink or eat the food my friends do, but the worst part is that I choose staying home over going out with my bf or friends most of the time because I'm so ashamed of my face. I don't sleep over at his house anymore and I don't have the guts to tell him why. I just tell him I don't feel good but really I can't sleep with makeup on or I will break out worse and I'm too embarrassed for him to see me without makeup. He has seen me without makeup before obviously but that was before my acne was this bad. He never breaks out, I have been seeing him for over a year and he has had one small pimple in that whole time. I feel like I am crippled and my family thinks I should stop worrying about it but how can I?? When I'm out in public I avoid looking into mirrors cuz I hate what I see. I'm constantly thinking about how my face looks and it's taking a toll on me mentally. It's hard to have a positive attitude when you are too ashamed of yourself to be around the people you love. I have been so depressed it's been affecting school and my relationships and social life. In conclusion, ACNE IS RUINING MY LIFE. I'm going to see a new derm and find out if there is anything other than antibiotics that can help me. I have NO money and already owe mony on my credit card, phone bill I pay every month, and a ticket. I have been going to school full time and was working but I'm moving to campus and am in between jobs so I can't afford anything unless my parents buy it for me. I will post a new blog of new treatments that have/haven't worked for me.

LoveHappiness

LoveHappiness

06/13/2010

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