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my accutane adventure

Entries in this blog

 

well past the finish line

k. So here we are. done with accutane and on with life... my skin: not as clear as it was during the last few months of my treatment. I do have small brake outs on my chin. NOTHING like what i had before, no nodular acne. no cysts. my body is clear for the most part as well. i have some little, little guys on my chest, but again: i am not covered in acne, and no cysts. i do have these weird things around my eyes, that i had before accutane, and now that i am off they are back again too, but not like i had them before. weird stuff: my belly has been super weird!! every time i eat i get super sharp stomach pains, gonna ask the doc about this when i go in for my month after check. and i am still super ADD. i never had problems with this before, but read somewhere that it was a side effect. i am now wondering if it is a side effect that will subside!! going forward: i am getting back into the grove of using products to combat my little brake outs, instead of only using things to sooth my skin as i did while on tane. at my after check the derm said she may begin me on topical stuff again once she sees how my skin holds up after a month or so off the stuff. overall: AMAZING!! i just hope it stays away!! I really did get spoiled with uber clear skin for the summer!! but i totes loved it!! I would tell anyone considering using accutane to go for it!! I had some side effects but none were anything i feel would deter me from recommending accutane to others...

cortney

cortney

10/07/2010

 

dude...

Not sure what day it is anymore.... I have ten days left of my accutane to take and to be honest I am a bit scared. My skin looks fantastic and I am worried that when I am finished that my skin will be bad again. I have not seen my regular derm in 2 months cause she has been on vacation over the summer. Hopefully for this last appointment I will finally get to see her again. my skin: looks glorious, I have no active acne. I hardly wear any face makeup anymore!! side effects: dry lips, I was dealing with cracks on the sides of my lip for a bit, but I got it to stop with TONS of aquaphor. My entire body is peeling cause I am so dry, I now use an oil in the shower instead of my clinique bar and I am putting oil on my body when I get out of the shower. So weird! I have NEVER had dry skin. weird stuff: Having clear skin. I also have lots of hyper-pigmentation and hypo-pigmentation on my chest, back, and arms. Hopefully it will fade with time...

cortney

cortney

07/31/2010

 

Day 120: back from italy and some...

I has been a super long time! But hell I was in italy for a month and then NC to see the 'rents. Then uber busy with summer classes, an internship, and work. So here is a bit of a recap of stuff that has been going on with my skin and all that business: Yeah the 8 hour plane ride from here to Amsterdam -- holy balls! It was like the pressure sucked all the pores on my nose closed and brought any remaining blackheads to the surface. When we landed i went to the bathroom and I had tons of little white dots on my nose from all the little hard pieces of puss being partially squished out. It was super nasty and it totally did not help that I was stuck next to a super cute guy for the whole flight -- I wanted to die. I also wanted to wash my face and start over with moisturizer etc--> but there was no time for that, our flight to rome was too soon. I just threw on moisturizer and had to bear it (I obviously survived). Also the entire time I was there my eyes were sooooo bloodshot and dry. I am sure it was a mixture of the let lag, dry airplane ride, sleep deprivation, and sensory overload... But i, for real, was using eye drops 4 to 5 times a day. other than that italy was awesome. I wore SPF 30 lotion everyday and put on 45 when we went swimming-- other people on my trip burned, but not me!! So I got back in the beginning of june and made a quick pit stop home to visit the derm and re-up on my tane! My regular doctor was outta town so I was set up with a different guy which was fine. The real exciting stuff came when I got to the pharmacy: I have maxed out my prescription funds for the year!! That means from here on I am paying out of pocket for this stuff!!! Eekk!! So that was a wallet rocker! But I can't stop now, I am so far along, if I quit everything I have done will be null and void! And my skin looks amazing!!!! I have another appointment on the 9th of July, i am not sure if this will be my last month, or if I am going on for more (and my regular derm was out, as I already stated, so i couldn't ask).. My skin: looks amazing! I have no active pimples, cysts, or blackheads. (okay maybe some blackheads but they are so tiny I can not see them so I have stopped looking) My back and chest are clear too! My arms are blemish free... life is sooooo good! side effects: dry lips.. fo sho! But now that I am home from italy the red eye thing has subsided... weird stuff: I can now wear tank tops!!!!!! Holy balls, I do not even remember ever wearing tank tops on a regular basis since i hit puberty (and I am 27).... my skin is soft and not bumpy, i have a lot of hyperpigmentation marks on my back and arms and some on my face but i don't even care. I don't have active acne it is so weird! i love it!

cortney

cortney

07/03/2010

 

day 63: up & away!

day 63: Went to the doctor four days ago. She was pretty surprised that I still had so many cysts coming up. She also upped my dose, which is exciting!! So I am now doing 60 and we talked about going up to 80 next month if my side effects are still okay. I will cross my fingers! my skin: Icky the left side of my face is a mess! 7 gross things, two scabby peeling ones, three lumpy hard ones. side effects: chapped lips. And I am super tired, but it is also finals week... wired stuff: nothing to report --> I am bogged down with finals so nothing seems normal right now...

cortney

cortney

05/07/2010

 

Day 52..wow freckles!

Haven't posted in a bit... Sorry. Time flies and with only two weeks left in the semester till finals I have had my nose to the grind stone trying to crank out a good finish to this year. I am also planning a trip to Italy this May so I have been doing a lot for that was well. It should be glorious, I have never been to Europe and I think a study abroad program will be an excellent way to go! Anyway... My skin: I have some super icky guys on my left cheek. Three cysts right in a row like trumpet keys. I have been very good at leaving all of them alone. The issue now is that if you feel my skin all of the cysts I have had in the past 52 days have left hard knots in my skin. I have more than ten areas that you can feel these things. I can not complain--> the not picking has made a huge difference; yes the buggers still stick around for a few weeks but they are not huge scabs which I can not cover and that bleed when I touch them. I would say that is progress. side effects: Dry lips, dry/peeling skin, neck stiffness. The muscle pain is gone in my leg THANK GODDESS! Some photosensitivity, but I like this side effect, (so far) I enjoy getting tan from minimal sun exposure (I will tell ya'll when I get my first sunburn and revoke this statement)! weird stuff: I am sorry but again I can still not get over having dry skin on my face!!! My makeup stays on so well! It would usually separate and literally slide off my face after a few hours. Not anymore!! My makeup stays on and looks good all day. I have even started wearing less, which is HUGE for me! OH and--> I have freckles! On my nose and some on my back, they are actually pretty cute. I honestly never noticed I had them cause I was always so focused on my acne. As it clears and my true skin shows through I can see all the marks that make me, me and not just marks from my acne. I love it. I can't wait till my beautiful skin is all that everyone sees!

cortney

cortney

04/25/2010

 

Day 41 ...

Day 41 I did well and avoided alcohol this past weekend, yeah me! I ended up hiding in one of my other roommates rooms and doing homework, lame I know, but whatever. I don't really have anything new to report. Some good news: the pain in my left leg is gone--> awesome! Now I can kick the hell out of the ball at soccer and I don't limp away... my skin: my chin is healing nicely. I have grown a nasty guy right by my left eye though, I think I may name him Pepe. I wouldn't call him a cyst cause it is right at the surface, but it hasn't come to a head yet --> it is pretty big though, the size of a pencil eraser at least. And he is in the weirdest spot just past my eyelid hopefully it doesn't stay long... it is pretty painful. Am I the only one who takes ibuprofen for face pain from acne?? side effects: dry lips, face, and hands. Peeling skin on my chin area. weird stuff: My face being dry is the oddest sensation to me. I have never had dry skin. The only time I have experienced the tightness of being dry is when I have a sunburn (which is only on my nose and cheeks and is gone in one day-- I'm Italian and Puerto Rican). I have always used a moisturizer, cause I know that even oily skin needs a moisturizer or it just gets more oily, but I now put a heavy cream on my face at least 3 times a day. I may get tired of this feeling after a while, but for now I must say--> I don't mind it!!

cortney

cortney

04/14/2010

 

Day 36- porch party

Day 36 It is two of my roommates birthday's this weekend so we are having a porch party and then they are going to migrate out to the bars... We are expecting about 20 people. I am not super stoked about this for several reasons: the porch is off my room, which means I am going to have strangers and mere acquaintances walking through my room all night (it also means I have no where to hide), also alcohol is involved, of which I am trying to avoid. I also have a crap load of stuff to do --> only 4 weeks of school left, its go time!! I will just have to do my best to avoid the alcohol and if I can not stand it, I may just leave and call a friend and see if I can hang at their place for a while. I'll let you know how all that goes... my skin: still pretty icky. I have the two monsters on either side of my chin --> which I have still avoided picking, but they are peeling super bad and it looks horrible! The worst part is that I will leave my house with it well moisturized and fine and then after a bit it will turn into this scaly mess. I am not sure what to do with it. I also grew a lovely white head in the middle of my chin right between the two nodules. ALSO my back is broken out, which was actually the first thing to dry out... not sure what is going on back there. side effects: dry lips, weird peeling mess on my cysts. I am also still super sore, my neck and my right thigh just will not stretch out and go away. It is pretty annoying. weird stuff: My hands are super dry and itchy. I have this rash on them which is on the backs of my hands and on my wrists. I usually carry hand lotion around with me all winter but I have already ditched it... guess I need to pull it out again cause putting aquaphor on them at night is not enough!! I ride my bicycle everywhere, but I wear gloves --> I am not sure if the tane is drying my hands out or if it is the still chilly morning air...

cortney

cortney

04/10/2010

 

my face hurts... it must be killing you!!

day 34 So my skin not looking so hot. I am getting a bunch of the underground cysts in my chin area. I am doing well with not picking the new ones -->so far. And damn it the one that I could not resist picking from a week ago is a scab and looks horrible, while the unicorn horn that was growing out of my forehead (which was larger but i was able to resist the urge to pick) is pretty much gone except for a hyper-pigmentation spot-- but it is level again!! I have one on either side of my chin--they are pretty painful. It hurts to move my mouth and I can feel them from the inside of my mouth with my tongue. I just need to leave them alone!!! I know it is gonna get worse before it gets better, but damn it i just want it to be better.... my skin: ... side effects: dry lips -wow- i am reapplying the lip lube at least every ten minutes. weird stuff: i haven't been sleeping well, but i am not sure that is related to the 'tane... I think it is more of a personal problem...

cortney

cortney

04/08/2010

 

month 2 - day 31

So I got my prescription filled, my liver hasn't quit on me yet! woo hoo! I was afraid that my spring brake would be an issue but it wasn't so that is good. I haven't had a drink since then and I would like to keep it that way, but it is hard living on campus with six others who enjoy friday and saturday cocktails! Oh well, I just need to be strong. It will all be over soon, and soooo worth it! my skin: I have two huge guys that came up, one on my forehead and one on my chin. I picked the one on my chin <STUPID!> but it hurt so bad, it had its own heartbeat and I needed to get the stuff out to relieve the pressure-- pus flew out and hit the mirror! I do not know that is so satisfying and disgusting, but true. Even though i messed with it, he seems to be healing okay-- i have been putting neosporin on it at bedtime. Right next to it two more are growing -> I can feel them beneath the skin. One of them hurts bad, and is already kinda misshaping my face... side effects: chapped lips, weird stuff: I was turning down my bed a minute a ago, and noticed that on the underside of my duvet cover (comforter) there are all these grease spots from the aquaphor I lube my lips up with every night! I have a dark grey cover so it is super noticeable!!! I am not gonna be a happy camper if it doesn't wash out. I should have known better -- I use only white sheets cause I have bleached out sooo many sheet sets with using benzyl peroxide every night for most of my life. damn it.

cortney

cortney

04/05/2010

 

Why yes, I am part unicorn...

Why yes, I am part unicorn... And that is a horn trying to grow out of my forehead! I am very magical. As is the fu*kin thing growing out of my head!! What the hell?

cortney

cortney

04/02/2010

Last Reply:
04/03/2010

 

Day 25- Muscle Pain

This morning at soccer I was afflicted with severe muscle pain in my right leg. I am really not happy about this. I know that muscle pain is a side effect but I was hoping that it is one that I would not have since I am pretty active. It killed all morning, but I did not want to tell the coach and sit out. I wasn't injured... I made it through and went home and used a heating pad while I googled accutane and muscle pain. I went to class and it really did hurt bad all day long. I did not think I was going to b able to go to the gym this evening. I went anyway and jumped on the treadmill, I figured that this would be okay since this morning the REAL pain was when I would kick the ball and just running on it was not so bad. It wasn't the most pleasant at first, but then I got kinda angry and decided that I was gonna push it. Two miles later and covered in sweat: my leg pain was gone. I think it dissipated after the first 1/2 mile, would kinda ache a bit here and there and then was gone. I did squats, then abs and now I am home -> and again using the heating pad. <<please note that I do not recommend anyone pushing their body if they are in pain>> This very well may back fire on me and I may not be able to move tomorrow morning! But if I just need to run it out to get the pain to stop, then I'll be damned if I am not gonna be running all the time. My skin: Looks pretty good, I am trying not to pick so stuff is healing pretty well. I can see all the little guys under the skin and feel the uneven texture, but I am leaving them alone. My neck is pretty gross with a bunch of little guys. And the hyper pigmentation is still there from all the guys past... Side effects: chapped lips ( i keep them really well moisturized, but sometimes whole big pieces of skin will all of a sudden peel off of my lips, luckily they are not dry and it doesn't hurt), I have began noticing blood every time I blow my nose --> no bloody noses yet just little blood clots in my snot. Weird stuff: this sore stuff is for the birds! I also had a stiff neck for the past two days, but I think I slept on it funny, cause I woke up with it... Still having salt cravings, trying and failing to resist the salty snack urge.... No more weird dreams I go in on friday to get my month 2 prescription!! I am keeping my fingers crossed that I haven't totally killed my liver and all my blood work comes back okay to continue...

cortney

cortney

03/30/2010

 

Day 20- it is so flippin' nice out

I can't believe it is day 20 already! I have an appointment next Friday to get my month 2 prescription and blood work done. I am worried about my liver function and all that coming back good since I definitely drank a lot over Spring Brake!! We'll see!! My skin: Is looking pretty good. My nose was peeling a ton so I stopped wearing makeup there cause it just made it look worse --> now it seems to have stopped peeling (for now) and my nose looks great. NO BLACKHEADS! Which are usually permanent residents in every pore on my nose!! I do have a new guy that just grew on my forehead last night, but I am so happy about my nose, I don't really care. I also have some big guys still healing on my chin, other than that it looks pretty good!! My chest is still broken out and there are still big blackheads there, I can cover that mess with t-shirts though so no biggie! Side effects: Dry skin, and lips. It is making me wear less face make up though, so maybe this is a good side effect? Super dehydrated, drinking lots of water. Can't pay attention to my homework and studying endeavors, but I am very good at procrastination and it is beautiful out so that may be to blame as well!! Weird stuff: Holy salt cravings Batman!! I seriously am considering putting a salt lick (like the ones for deer) outside of my room so I can just have a lick every time I walk by!! It is super bad, and I am not a girl that adds salt to anything so it is even more odd. I google searched salt carvings and found that is it from dehydration and is common in athletes. This makes sense--> I am dehydrated from the tane and it is also worse when I get home from working out. I think I will hold off on the salt lick for now, and since I know why my body wants salt, I will just try to kill the craving with more water.

cortney

cortney

03/24/2010

Last Reply:
03/25/2010

 

day 16- i posted pics...

EEEEKKK! Okay I took the plunge and posted some of my pictures... I am nervous about doing this cause what if someone I knows sees them?! But if they are looking through a website for acne, obviously they prolly have it too, so who really cares right!! I was still too shy to post the pictures of my body acne though, those ones I will keep to myself thanks... I think you can see the pictures in the accutane gallery or from my member info page... My skin: the two new guys on my chin have come to the surface one had a head. So yes I popped it, but was super gentle hopefully it won't do too much damage. The cyst on my cheek never surfaced fully but there is still a mark and it is still pretty tender. I also have some new little zits on my neck... AND I have itch marks on the side of my face by my ear : I must be scratching my face in my sleep!!! So I am gonna try to remember to put lotion on there before bed see if I stop scratching. ( I don't know what else it could be from) Side effects: The skin around my nose is really dry, my lips are super chapped but nothing that aquaphor and my aveda lip saver can't handle... I have been trying to drink a lot of water since this stuff is sooo drying but lately the water at my house has smelly super fishy, and I can't drink it without wanting to gag!!! If this keeps up I am going to have to buy bottled water: something I try to not do ever... weird stuff: the rash from my watch is still there, but does seem better.

cortney

cortney

03/20/2010

Last Reply:
04/26/2010

 

Day 15 - if my liver could talk it would say...

Day 15 If my liver could talk it would say f*** you cortney!! I am just wrapping up spring brake week, I have gotten no school work done what so ever. The only thing I have gotten off of my to-do list is to see a bunch of my friends that I have not seen in a while cause I am usually so busy with school. Unfortunately, for some reason getting together with friends seems to involve going out for drinks. I have been pretty good most nights and only having a few drinks, but last night I drank quite a bit. This is really bad! And was totally not the plan at all!!! I really don't typically drink that much, but I obviously need to make an effort to not drink at all. Which will be easier once spring brake is over. my skin: is still broken out. The blackheads on my forehead seem better, I think this is from using the bp lotion. I am growing a new cyst on my chin, I can feel it starting to come up and will prolly be here tomorrow or the next day. The one on my cheek is getting smaller and the one on my forehead has begun to peel. My chest is COVERED in blackheads, I tried to take a picture of it, but you can't really see them well in the pic. side effects: peeling skin around my nose, chapped lips, itchy scalp weird stuff: I fell asleep (okay fine passed out) with my watch on last night, it is a big pleather cuff and today I have big red marks on my wrist. It kinda looks like a sunburn, if you touch it it turns white. I have left the watch on overnight before and this has never happened hopefully it will go away soon.

cortney

cortney

03/19/2010

 

day 13 - not much to report

day 13- Trying to monitor my skin and guess what is from the accutane, and what I may have had otherwise is a bit ridiculous. I have returned to using my clinique acne solutions moisturizer with benzoyl peroxide underneath another moisturizer. I could not stand not doing anything to treat the breakouts- my black heads were huge and I have a ton of pimples, and 3 cysts I had to do something!! I started using the BP on Monday night and by tuesday morning I could already see improvement. So I am going to continue using the BP under a moisturizer until I am so dry that I hate life, and can not continue on with the added drying of the bp. my skin: the texture of my forehead is nasty! It seems like my skin is trying to push all of my blackheads out ( i think sillyseal said this too and it is so true) I have grown another cyst on my cheek and I am trying my hardest not to touch it at all!!! while my skin looks like crap right now, I do feel that it is healing fast-- a pimple will crop up but then be gone in 2 or so days... The cysts are a different story, they are sticking around for a while. Also my body acne is getting kinda bad. My chest, and shoulders have she same icky texture as my forehead. I almost feel scaly like a fish. My back is pretty bad now too, but doesn't have the weird texture thing going on. hmmm... So I have pictures of the progress on my face, but I am scared to post them, not really sure why. To post or not to post? that is the question... Side effects: My lips are dry, but are fine if I have stuff for them - I think the aveda lip saver is better than the aquaphor!! And putting the two on together before bed: I wake up with it still on my lips! I also have dry/ peeling skin on my nose. Nothing too bad though, it does not feel tight and dry, just peeling. weird stuff: Okay so I have not had any more nightmares, but on Monday night I could not sleep. It felt like I was stuck in a half sleep zone and I was having semi-nightmares but I felt semi-conscious. It was creepy!!! Once I fell asleep fully I was fine, I was anxious to see if it would happen again but last night was fine: no nightmares, semi-lucid mares. I doubt this has anything to do with the tane... although I reserve the right to change my mind about that as my treatment progresses.

cortney

cortney

03/17/2010

 

day 9 - designated wing woman

Day 9- So it is the day of my roommates bachelorette party and I have been doing a good job of keeping my hands off my face so that it was able to clear-up/calm-down enough so that I would be able to work my makeup magic. It is pretty amazing what I can achieve as long as I am free of scabs/ broken skin on my face. As for my body-- I am not going to be able to wear the dress I had originally planned because it is low cut ( i.e. lots of boob action) and my chest is broken out -> Not exactly the look I am going for... So I am going to wear a turtle neck dress from american apparel, not as much skin shows (just legs), but it is super tight and flippin' hot. Let's just hope that nothing grows on my face today, and I should be set! I am glad my skin seems to have settled slightly must have been the power of positive thinking. Other than the roommate that is getting married, all the other girls I live with are single (there are 6 of us), I have earned myself the nickname 'designated wing women' cause I will find us guys (or they will pick them out) and I am the one who will go and make contact, then introduce everyone... It should be interesting going out with a group of 15 women! The amount of shenanigans we will get into tonight will be great! my skin: A few new ones on my cheeks, one under my chin, one above the lip on the left. The older ones are healing nicely though. I have done well in keeping my hands off the new ones for the most part! side effects: Still itchy. Dry skin is beginning. My nose is peeling, I used a mild scrub to lift the dead skin and moisturized, it seemed to work okay, but came back at the end of the day. Also mild head aches, nothing bad though ( i haven't taken anything for them yet). And some pain in my feet, i noticed it when i was walking to the gym yesterday and thought it would be a problem, but I was able to do 2.5 miles on the treadmill and then my work out. And I got up this morning and ran as well and I was fine, so hopefully it was nothing. weird stuff: I had a crazy nightmare last night! I have not had a nightmare in i don't even know how long! I don't know if it was from the tane or not. I will keep you posted if these continue!

cortney

cortney

03/13/2010

 

Day 5

Day 5 Not much to report, my face is still broken out. I hate having to go to school like this but what else can I do? It would be lovely if I could take off several months and hibernate through this whole process, but that is not an option. It also does not help that I have midterms all this week. The only good news is that next week is spring brake! I am hoping that I get my initial brake out then (so I can stay at home), but I doubt I will be that lucky! I have been trying to negotiate with the skin gods on that one, I will let you know how it all works out... Also I have a bachelorette party this weekend on Saturday, I hope the four cysts I have right now are calmed down by then. It is no fun going out when your face looks like hell and your self-esteem is low and you swear that everyone is staring at the nasty stuff on your face (or at least that's how I feel). Speaking of going out --> I know we are supposed to take it easy on the alcohol since this stuff is already pretty hard on the liver... but what's taking it easy? I don't typically drink during the week at all, nor every weekend. Can I start the no drinking thing after spring brake or at least after the bachelorette party?? my skin: -- side effects: itchy!! My entire body is itchy, not unbearably but still. Also after I ran at the gym it got a bit worse. weird stuff: I need to not pick! I have four biggins right now and I need to just not touch them!!!! Sometimes I feel like they just will not go away unless I get the crap out of them, but I need to get over that. This stuff is gonna push all types of crap out (doc warned me : 'it's gonna get worse') i need to quit now otherwise I am gonna give myself scars, the hyper pigmentation is bad enough!!!

cortney

cortney

03/10/2010

Last Reply:
03/12/2010

 

in the beginning...

Day 3 I began my accutane adventure Friday March 5th. I am 27 years old and am sooooo tired of having acne! Oddly no one ever guesses my real age they always think I am much younger, which I think is due to the acne. I am sure eventually a girl will enjoy having a youthful appearance but not because her skin looks like she is still going through puberty!! I have had acne since around the age of 12, it was mild at first just random white heads, a few blackheads nothing that I didn't think was somewhat manageable. I have used acne products since I began my interest in skin care and I think I have tried everything on the market! It seems like my skin will clear up for a while and be okay for several months - never perfectly clear but okay- then my skin will plateau and the acne is back full force and gross as ever. The older I got the worse my skin became and I have exhausted all of my options with the drugstore, the beauty counter, and the dermatologist. I hate my skin - every pore on my nose is a blackhead, I brake out on my cheeks, chin, forehead, neck - my entire face is game. Not only do I get little ones but periodically I get deep ones under the skin that are huge, and painful- they seem to pulse with their own little heartbeats... so I name them (and for some reason they are always men's names, I never realized that before)! Beyond that acne began to invade my body; literally I do not just have back acne I have entire body acne. I brake out on my back, chest, arms (upper and lower), stomach, (oddly for some reason it skips my butt) and legs. It is very attractive. I try to manage this as well, I always use a body wash and lotion for skin clearing but the acne is never fully cleared up. I typically only wear cottons to try to mitigate bad things on my skin but I can't get this stuff to go away. I have not been swimming with friends since I was a child because I do not want anyone to see my skin. I also plan my wardrobe around what my body acne is doing I do own v neck shirts but they only get worn when my chest isn't broken out. It would be much easier to be a guy! I am actually a pretty cute, which maybe makes this even harder for me. I work for a well known cosmetics company and am very good at makeup application. Luckily I can work wonders with concealer and most people don't see how bad my skin can get - other than when I have huge cysts that deform my face. When I tell people that I am starting accutane many people do not understand why cause I do such a good job covering it all up. My roommates understand though they have seen me without my makeup! So...here we are day 3. I am excited and scared. I am excited to be able to maybe wear a tank top this summer (to somewhere other than to bed), maybe I can even go swimming with friends! I am ready to have a clear face and not have to wear so much face makeup to hide all my flaws. But I am scared as well: scared at how bad it is gonna get, and how crazy all the side effects are gonna be. I am worried about the brittle bone stuff: I play co-ed soccer and kickball and I am pretty rowdy! I also go to the gym often- I am not gonna be happy if I am in pain cause of this stuff and have to stop these activities. Also I am in school (I went back after several years of just working) and am worried about not being able to concentrate, and about the depression or mood swing stuff. Hopefully it won't be too bad, and will all be worth it in the end!! Right now my skin: is pretty gross, I have 4 deep cysts and at least 17 littler whitehead guys, and oodles of blackheads and clogged pores (you know the ones you can't necessarily see but you can feel in the skin and if you squeeze them a ton of sh*t will come out). I had 3 of the cysts on Friday when I started, only the one is new and since I am only on day 3 I don't really know if it is from the tane or if it was just there and hadn't surfaced yet. Side effects: unsure on this one, I don't think I have any yet. But every time something feels funny I jump straight to "is it the accutane?!" Such as my teeth feel funny today for some reason, I am not kidding, not painful just funny: I think I am just being a hypochondriac. I did wake up with rash on my left wrist though, putting some Aquaphor on it this morning helped. Oddest change so far: not using my regular skin care stuff. I can never remember a time when I did not cleanse, tone, treat the acne, and moisturize. My doc said to just switch to a less intense cleanser, no toner, no bp, and just to moisturize. It is super weird! Maybe when I am more dry I will become more accustomed to my new routine. (I have been cheating though and using my retin-a as a spot treatment on the big ones, don't tell!) lol this is really long. Sorry. I am just writing this blog cause I need somewhere to air out all of my stuff surrounding this, I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to about my acne. I don't even know if anyone will even read any of this but it does make me feel better just to get it all off my chest... Hopefully accutane will help get all the sh*t off my chest too =^.^=

cortney

cortney

03/08/2010

Last Reply:
03/08/2010

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