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Depressed and Stressed over my Acne

Ok I'm 22 and I’ve had acne as long as I can remember. It’s a hereditary trait I get from my Dad he’s got terrible skin. He gave it to my sister and brother as well but their acne is barely noticeable compared to my acne. In high school I would dress like a slob b/c that’s how my acne made me feel like a dirty slob. I would try to put nice clothes on and I would take one look in the mirror and my gross acne would make me feel like someone who didn’t shower or a drug addict. Not only do I have regular acne but I also have what they call Milia which are tiny white bumps or small cysts that can appear just under the epidermis. Also I swear I have the biggest pores in the world so that plus the Milia gives me this gross bumpy like texture and gives the effect of acne even when I have no real break outs!!! Milia in my opinion is the worst kind of acne because its under the skin which makes it almost impossible to pop or to medicate. I have seen 3 different dermatologist and have been put on every acne med out there. Differin, retin-a, ziana, and plenty more that I can’t recall right now. I’ve tried every home remedy and every over the counter product I’m even on Birth control and nothing has worked. They help me from breaking out sure but b/c I have milia my face never looks smooth or clear plus my skin is super sensitive so it’s always red. I’m so severely depressed about my acne I look in the mirror everyday and want to cry. I don’t wanna go out anymore b/c all my friends have perfect skin and it makes me feel so insecure when I go out. It’s totally effecting my relationship with my bf b/c I never wanna go out with him and b/c I have such low self-esteem I always think he’s gonna dump me for someone better looking. I don’t want to get up for work anymore b/c I’m a receptionist so I’m the 1st person people see when they come into my job and I can tell their looking at my acne and not me. I’m in a bad mood almost every day b/c it stresses me out so much. And on top of my face acne I have a bunch of things wrong with the skin on my body. I have bad back and chest acne. I have stretch marks on my legs I don’t really know where they came from but I’ve had them forever. I have such pale/sensitive skin that when I get even the littlest bit of sun I break out and get little dots everywhere. I have spider veins on my thighs back and shoulders which unless I get painful laser treatment there not going anywhere and b/c of all this I’m super embarrassed to wear shorts tanks or swim suits. So when the warmer weather comes I barly go out at all how sad is that? My last restore is to do a microdermabrasion or some form of laser treatment which are gonna cost me and small fortune and if that doesn’t work I seriously give up!!!




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