Well, it's day 35, and I've been bumped up to 40 mg/day. My triglycerides were a little higher than they like to see (I think I saw her write 210 down...how bad is that??) so she put me on fish oil twice a day, and I have to go back in a week to have them check my triglycerides. I'm just crossing my fingers that they'll go down because I do NOT want to be taken off claravis. After all the shit I've been through, I just want to get it over with, and I can't imagine stopping after I've put so much hope in this treatment. I've definitely noticed that I'm drier (crap, it's that word again). I wake up in the morning with extremely dry skin, especially on my cheeks. I definitely need quality lotion, I slept over at my parents' house last night and they only had a cheap walgreens brand, and it did NOT work as well as my cetaphil, I put it on twice this morning and was still dry. But thankfully I'm back at my apartment with my cetaphil and my army of medications!
wow, almost done with one month. This month, being on only 20 mg/day, has been pretty smooth sailing for me. I'm continuing to use Retin A and my sulfa sulfur cream (I kind of feel guilty for some reason about doing this, since my derm said I wasn't going to be able to handle doing it all, but I'll talk to her about it on Wednesday). My skin's pretty dry, which I actually like. I just like that it feels like something's happening. Everything looks pretty smooth, I just still have red marks and scars. My hair is awesome! It used to get so greasy after only a day, but now I'm on day 2 of not washing it and it doesn't look dirty at all. It's kind of weird, actually. I also had a bloody nose yesterday while I was at work, but it went away pretty quickly.
So...when I blew my nose just now, it was all bloody. Gross. I have just started using a neti pot though, so I'm not sure, but that might be a contributing factor. Do those make you have bloody noses? It doesn't seem like they should. For those of you who don't know what a neti pot is and would like to be grossed out (or fascinated), a neti pot is something you use to pour warm salt water through your nasal passages. You stick it in one nostril, tip your head at a very precise angle, and the water comes out the other nostril, bringing with it anything that was in your nasal passages. So basically, you see more snot than you've ever seen in your life. I actually really enjoy this, and afterward, you can breathe! It's amazing.
Anyways, my skin is still doing well. I have some little dry, red patches on the backs of my hands and one little one on my arm. They're about the size of an eraser head. I'm just putting aquaphor on them and they're fine. My lips are always dry but I'm putting aquaphor on those too and it really helps. I have a tip - buy a key chain lip balm and keep it on your keys. That way whenever you leave your house, you'll never be stuck without it! I bought one that ended up being really gross lip balm, so I just scooped it all out of the little container and filled the container with aquaphor. So far it's been a complete life saver.
Wow, day 18 already. It's funny how time works - the time seems to take forever when it's actually happening, but then when you look back it doesn't seem like that long. If only the next 5 months would just fly by!
My skin is still fine. No breakouts. Sorry, I can't captivate you all with any amazing/disgusting popping stories. I haven't had a zit in quite a while. The thing that's really starting to bug me are my scars. Now that all the acne is gone, I can actually see how much of a toll it took on my skin. I just wish I could have gotten serious about my skin a LITTLE sooner, because now I have what look like permanent scars! Does anyone know the best treatment for them? From research, I think what I have are rolling and maybe boxcar scars. While the redness is continuing to fade, I still have all these indentations all over my cheeks, and it really bugs me. Will I just have to live with this forever? If anyone reading this has an experience to share about treating these types of scars, please share! And as far as side effects, I'm still not experiencing anything too dramatic. I have a couple dry patches on my forehead and on my hands, that's about it. I'm sure that when I get bumped up to 40 mg/day in a couple weeks this will change.
In other news, I had a bit of a freak out today. I've felt a lot more irritable than usual. It's a stupid roommate issue that I won't even get into. I'm a little worried that maybe I'm getting a little bit depressed. I've asked my friends to keep an eye on me now, so I guess that's good. At least the people around me know what's going on. And maybe today is just a bad day, and tomorrow will be ten times better. I hope.
woo! I actually forgot what day I was on and had to check! Maybe this means the time will start to go by more quickly, that would be nice. So I went out last night to the bars and had a blast, but I'm starting to get a little nervous about my amount of self control in the whole not drinking thing. I had a mixed drink, about 1/3 of a long island, then another mixed drink, then 1/2 a shot (I drunkenly made my friend take most of it cause I started freaking about about having too much, ha.) I wouldn't say I was hammered by any means but I was drunk. I skipped my pill yesterday and decided to take two today (for a total of 40 mg) and I just took the first one. I'll take the second with dinner. Should I be really worried? I really don't want to mess up my body, but it's so hard to resist! And we had so much fun last night! My skin continues to be fine, it's completely clear, same as when I started. Boring, haha, but I like boring when it comes to my acne.
Well, it's still pretty early, but I think I'm maybe having some side effects. I really don't want to blame everything on taking this drug though, so I'm hesitant to say that these are most definitely due to Claravis, but let's just say I feel a little different lately.
First off, OW! The corners of my mouth hurt so bad! I can barely open my mouth or smile without them hurting, especially the right side. I think I put aquaphor on three times today and even though it helped, it still stings like a biznitch. It really sucks. I hope it heals soon!
And also, I have had maybe 3 headaches in the past few days. Again, I'm not sure if I can attribute this to Claravis, but it's not so fun. They're not AWFUL, but working at a toy store with a headache all day is kind of sucky. Also, I'm really, really thirsty. Last night I had a water bottle on the chair next to my bed that I kept reaching for, until I finally figured hell, why not just sleep with it. I'm thinking that's going to become a regular habit for me. And it has a little squirty top so I can at least get it in my mouth (that's what she said...sorry)
One more thing, I woke up last night in a PANIC!! And I'm pretty sure I was dreaming about my skin, which kinda freaks me out. I basically woke up making frantic sounds and with my heart beating really fast, and it was really unpleasant. I don't remember that ever happening before when I wasn't having some kind of nightmare. Who knows, maybe I was, but I really felt like I was dreaming about my skin and my scars. Ugh. I really hope that doesn't continue. So to sum it up, I'm not feeling too hot today. I'm dry, headachy, tired, and ...dry. But at least I've got 8 days down, so that's something to be happy about I guess.
Ok, so now for a non skin related story. Sorry if this is really boring...it will be, I can tell you right now, I'm adding this after I've written it. You should probably stop reading now.
I had the sort of a shitty night at the bar a couple nights ago. I was only going to have like one drink, because my friend wanted to buy me a belated birthday drink, but then she bought me a shot without telling me. It was nice of her to do that, but I was almost a little annoyed. I've told her that I can't drink that much alcohol right now, and it seems like she forgot or something. I'm almost positive I told her it was because of a medication. I don't know, I guess it's silly for me to be annoyed about that, but I was at the time. Also we were in this bar I hate...Brothers. It's basically full of bros and hos and people trying to grab you. The guys me and my friend were with were acting all jealous and possessive and didn't even want us to talk to anyone else. They're convinced they have to save us from all male attention, because everyone is a creeper. (And actually, we were at Brothers, so I guess everyone WAS a creeper. But still.) I was talking to a guy I've known since 3rd grade, and one of the guys came up and just awkwardly stood there until my friend was just like, ok....I'm gonna go now. And then he wanted me to dance with him. UGH! And it was all hot and crowded and I basically became lodged on the dance floor while looking for my friend. Being semi sober and annoyed in the midst of a drunken orgy is one of my least favorite things. And THEN I was talking to this guy and we were having a pretty normal conversation, and after that he wanted to hang out more but I said I didn't really want to and he started getting all up in my business and telling me I would never take a chance, aren't I adventurous, am I going to live my whole life this way, blah blah blah. I just wanted to smack him. Sorry dude, but maybe I'm not looking for the same things you are right now. And then when I finally just got up to walk away he acted all disapproving. Usually I don't let things like that bother me, but I guess I was already sort of feelin funky (not in a good way).
So yeah. I surprisingly like writing in this thing a lot. It's kind of neat to know that someone out there will know about my sleeping with a water bottle or becoming uncomfortably stuck in a sweaty sexy inferno of dancing. BY THE WAY, usually I love dancing, but not when I'm all pissed off. And I think I've rambled enough for one day.