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About this blog

My blog towards clear skin using the Regimen and Roaccutane.

Entries in this blog

 

Day 302 + roa

Ah, I was just thinking ... maybe I should tell something again about the products I'm using at the moment. 'Cause althought the Regimen didn't really work out for me, I kind of tried to keep to the scheme for cleaning my face. I changed some products. I'm using very gentle products so they won't dry my skin out. I never rub my face anymore. I never touch my face or pick at my skin anymore. And I clean it every night. I think I've found the right routine for my face, because it never feels dry. The products I use: In the morning - Garnier Pure A moisturiser (against redness) At night - Lush Fresh Farmacy or Garnier Clean Sensitive Milk - Garnier Clean Sensitive Toner - La Roche-Possay Effaclar H moisturiser (against dryness) Today I'll be seeing my derm again. But I guess she will just keep me on the 30 mg/day. EDIT: Just came back ... She thought it is better to go back to the lower doses, since I'm having so many side-effects. Especially the pain in my back and the dry eyes are actually very annoying and she said that the side-effects shouldn't be worse then the my acne-problem. For now I have to take 20 mg/day until my back and eyes feel normal again and then I'll take 20 mg one day and 30 mg the next day. So I'll sort of take 25 mg/day. And then I'll just have to see if that goes better. Pffff, I just want to be done with this Acne: none!; Roa: 203 days, 20 mg/day, total 4630 mg; Side-effects: dry lips, dry hands, dry spots on skin, eczema, red/purple scars, muscular pain, pain in back and shoulders, dry eyes.

ananaz

ananaz

11/01/2010

 

Day 297 + roa

Hello again! I just wanted to tell everyone that I believe that my acne is actually gone! It dissapeared! It's a miracle! And it feels sooo good! I haven't had any spots for three weeks now. My skin feels so soft and it's starting to look better every day. The higher doses is giving me some problems though ... At first I thought it would be better to go back to the 20 mg/day, but it will take me so much extra time, so I decided to stay on the 30 mg/day. The side effects are much more then they used to be. My lips are extreamly dry and no lip balm helps for longer then 10 minuts. My skin is dry and itchy and I get a lot of eczema spots. My eyes are so dry that at sometimes I can't even wear my contacts anymore, which is really anoying! And the worst of all is that I have a lot of pain in my back and shoulders. Especially when I wake up it is very stiff. BUT, it helps! And I have to keep going on with this for just three months. It's so much better allready and I just know that I will look good when I've finished this. I honestly can't wait! Acne: none!; Roa: 198 days, 30 mg/day, total 4490 mg; Side-effects: dry lips, dry hands, dry spots on skin, eczema, red/purple scars, muscular pain, pain in back and shoulders, dry eyes.

ananaz

ananaz

10/27/2010

 

Day 231 + roa

Hello! I didn't update for a longgg time, and I'm sorry for that. On the other hand I'm very happy, 'cause it means that I'm not so busy with my acne anymore. I can tell you that it's going very well! In the summer I had to take 10 mg/day for a while, because of the sun. I was a little bit scared that the acne would get worse again, but that didn't happen. The acne is slowly disappearing and I'm not so worried about it anymore. I didn't have new acne since about six weeks, but this week I got one new cyst again. But I know that this is normal and that it will be a little bit less every time I have a breakout. They are gone a lot faster, so they can't really bother me anymore. Right now I'm on 30 mg/day and I intend to stay on this doses till the end. It will take me 5 months to reach the 7300 mg, which will be my final doses. And then it's done! I'm looking forward to it! The only thing is that my scars are very red and purple at the moment. But my derm says that it will get lighter when I'm off the roa, so I'll just have to wait ... I really do believe that everything will be okay! And I can't wait to see how I look in February!! I will be so happy! I think I'll give a party or something, haha. Acne: good; Roa: 132 days, 30 mg/day, total 2510 mg; Side-effects: dry lips, eczema, red/purple scars.

ananaz

ananaz

08/22/2010

 

Day 156 + roa

Last week the acne came back (oh, what a surprise ... honestly, I was just waiting for it ). I was desperate. I just want it to be GONE! Is it really so hard? Just stay away and stop attacking my face! Grrrrrr The scars are very bad. I have two enormous red areas on both sides on my face. It is horrible! I will start another month of 20 mg/day and then I'll go on a lower doses for a while (because of vacation and sun). In september my derm wants me on 30 mg/day. I just hope it will be gone by then Side-effects are still the same. It's bearable, but annoying. Acne: bad (cysts, redness); Roa: 57 days, 20 mg/day, total 1140 mg; Side-effects: dry lips, muscular pain, low back pain, eczema.

ananaz

ananaz

06/08/2010

 

Day 136 + roa

My skin is still doing okay! It makes me feel so happy I've had some very small infections over the last week, but they were gone pretty soon and weren't so bad. But I must admit that I did some picking at my skin again this week ... which is not good. The scars seem to be more red then they were, but my derm told me that it will be better when I've stopt with the roaccutane. So it's just something I'll have to deal with. It really feels like my skin is getting better already. It defenitely improved since I'm on the roa, so that's good! Maybe I'll be clear in the summer! That would be sooo nice! Acne: it's okay (small cysts, redness); Roa: 37 days, 20 mg/day, total 740 mg; Side-effects: dry lips, dry hands, muscular pain.

ananaz

ananaz

05/19/2010

 

Day 129 + roa

Just a short update! My first month of roaccutane is over, and it feels good! I had to see my derm again yesterday and she told me that I would stay on this low doses. She had good results with this in the past and she thinks the roaccutane is much more bearable if you have a low doses, because the side-effects won't be that bad. I thrust her, so I think it will work out great. She told me that it worked for every single person she gave it to. I can't wait to be done with this My skin is still the same and I'm very happy about that. I haven't had new infections and my face doesn't really hurt at the moment. Maybe the roa ís working already, but I can't believe it. She said that we'll have to wait for a few monts to see how it's working out. Tomorrow I'll start with my second month of 20 mg/day. Acne: it's okay (small cysts, redness); Roa: 30 days, 20 mg/day, total 600 mg; Side-effects: dry lips, dry and itchy hands, muscular pain.

ananaz

ananaz

05/12/2010

 

Day 126 + roa

Luckely the cysts disappeared fast. The last week has been okay and it was really a relieve! It just feels so much better when your face is relaxed and it doesn't hurt all the time. I even tried to flirt with some guys again I'll be seeing my dermatologist this tuesday again. I think she might want to bring up the doses a bit more. But I'll just hope that she'll say something good and that my 'progress' is okay. Still I'm scared that the cysts will get worse again, as they always do. But we'll see! Acne: it's okay (small cysts, redness); Roa: 27 days, 20 mg/day, total 540 mg; Side-effects: dry lips, dry and itchy hands, muscular pain, low back pain.

ananaz

ananaz

05/09/2010

 

Day 116 + roa

I don't know how I have to deal with this anymore. It's so hard to forget about it. Last week it was all a bit clear, but this morning I woke up with pain again. And yes, there they are: five new cysts. Aaaargh! I took a shower and when I was drying myself my skin peeled off. So, I can't be in the sun and now the last bit of sunbrowned-skin is gone. Hmpf. I did moisteriser and sunblock on my face and went on with my foundation, but it didn't want to stick to my face. And now I'm so angry! It always was the best foundation in the world, I loved it. It covered up everything but you couldn't see it on my face. But since this whole stupid benzoylperoxide and roacutane started it won't work anymore. So now what am I supposed to do? I look bad and I hate it, but I can't do anything about it 'cause make-up will just look weird. I think I'll just cry. Acne: bad (cysts, redness); Roa: 17 days, 20 mg/day, total 340 mg; Side-effects: dry lips, dry and itchy hands, muscular pain, low back pain.

ananaz

ananaz

04/29/2010

 

Day 113 + roa

It is going great! The areas of infection are dissapearing and there are just some small cysts left over. There are no wounds on my face and it looks okay. But the best thing is, it feels okay! The thickness is absolutely gone, so I can talk and smile again without noticing some pain in my face. I don't know if this is done by the roaccutane, but I'm happy with it. I hope it will stay like this. Acne: it's okay (small cysts, redness); Roa: 14 days, 20 mg/day, total 280 mg; Side-effects: dry lips, dry and itchy hands, muscular pain.

ananaz

ananaz

04/26/2010

 

Day 106 + roa

I'm still alive! Although the last week wasn't so very good. I had an uncountable amount of cysts and it was sooo bad! The left side of my face was twice as thick as normal and I looked like I've had a fight with someone. I tried to ignore it, but it was diffucult. I couldn't move any part of my face without feeling a lot of pain. Last saterday was the worst day of all. I felt it when I woke up. It was one of those days that you don't even have to look into the mirror to find that you look bad. It's so bad that you can feel it allready. So I stayed in bed all morning and I didn't want to get out. The rest of the day I was just hiding behind people, so no one would notice me. I think it kind of worked. At night I went to a bar, covered with a lot of make-up. I wonder if I can ever live without it. I haven't really noticed a lot of side-effects jet. I think my lips are a bit dryer (especially when I wake up), but it's not that bad. I hope this stuff is working ... Acne: really really bad (cysts, infection, redness, thick face); Roa: 7 days, 20 mg/day, total 140 mg; Side-effects: nothing jet.

ananaz

ananaz

04/19/2010

 

Day 100! + roa

Well, this morning I took my first Roaccutane pil. It was kind of weird to take the first pil. I was like 'ok, so now I'm going to ruin my total health and condition just to have a clear face'. But on the other hand I don't want to have a ruined face, so I guess it is a good decision. I've totally stopped the benzoylperoxide, which is a bit dissapointing because I was really believing that this would help me out. Maybe my acne is just to tough to handle with this. But overall it helped me to take better care of my skin and to make some real steps to get rid of the acne. But after one hundred days there is still no improvement. I can notice that my skin has changed since I've stopt the BP and the doxy. The dryness is totally gone and the spots are well on there way to get me again. I'm just letting it happen. I'm not going to do anything about it. Just wash my face in the morning and evening with my products and that's it. I won't stand before the mirror all day. I won't try stupid products that claim to 'make it all magically dissapear'. No. No. It's just there and I don't care. Ha! So, that's it for now. I will get back to you. Hopefully there will be no side-effects. Acne: bad (cysts, redness); Roa: 1 days, 20 mg/day, total 20 mg; Side-effects: nothing jet.

ananaz

ananaz

04/13/2010

 

Day 95

Since I've stopt with the doxyxycline (only two days now) my face is getting back to were it was. I can feel new cysts coming up and my cheeks are bumpy and red again. Damn it. Won't it EVER go away? I think I'm getting better at accepting the situation. It's really not that simple, but I'm trying to stay positive about myself. A few of my friends told me that it isn't that bad and they still think I'm a beautiful person, and I should stick with that. I'll just avoid mirrors for a while I'm allowing myself two mirror-moments a day: when I wake up to put my make-up on, and before I go to bed to wash my face. And during the rest of the day I'll just ignore my face. Like it's not even there. It's just me. With bumps on my face ... haha. I've got my roaccutane today. I have to take 20 mg everyday. I am actually glad that I'm starting with a low dosis. I hope it will be enough! I will start next tuesday. I think I'll stop with the benzoylperoxide today. My face feels so dry allready and I think it's better to give it a few days to get back in it's old condition. Oh and I did some highlights in my hair today. It's really cool! I'm a blondie hihi. I just thought that since I can't go in the sun so much during the roaccutane I might just as well give my hair some fresh highlights! It makes me feel better. Althought I'm still tired and out-of-energy. Just waiting for the time to fly ...

ananaz

ananaz

04/08/2010

 

Day 94

Well, I was right wenn I didn't say my right side is 'healed' jet, 'cause two cysts came back again. (It's like they want to remind me to think of them every week or so ...) Luckely they were only painfull for three days and they are fading again. I had an appointment with the dermatologist yesterday. I was a bit curious about what she was going to say, but when I got back I was just very confused. At first I had to answer a lot of questions. It was good that she asked me so much, because I really feld that she understood me and knew what I was feeling. Then, after she took a look at my face, she came to the point. She thinks that I have some sort of acne that starts only after your puberty and she thinks that it won't go away. Not so easely and not without a treatment. She said that I could just as well stop with the antibiotics and start with roaccutane. What? I've read some things about accutane and it scared the hell out of me. I'm very scared to use this medicine. And I would never have thought that my acne would be that bad ... I mean, I know it is bad at the moment, but since it's never been this way, I thought it would just go away again. Wrong thought ... So guys, I've stopt the doxycycline today and next week I'll start with the roaccutane. This blog is going to turn into a longgg story. I really hope that the side-effects aren't so bad and that it will help me soon. I think she said that I will start with three months, and then we'll have to see what we'll do in the summer, maybe a lower doses. I will get the pills tomorrow, so I can update you then about the amount I have to take. Pff, could really use some support out here. Am actually starting to think that you need some sort of coach for all of this to get you through it. But let's try to stay possitive and give this so called roaccutane a change ... I guess this will be my last week on the regimen then. That's weird! Maybe I'll still use it sometimes for the real bad spots. But I'd first like to see how my skin is reacting on the roaccutane. Wish me luck!

ananaz

ananaz

04/07/2010

 

Day 88 + doxy

It's almost three months! I went to see the doctor again today and I have to go through another month of anitbiotics. Hmpf, that's dissapointing. But on the other hand, it ís working and I'm almost sure that it will be gone by then. The right sight of my face is completely acne-free, which is really a miracle, 'cause I've had acne spots on that area for a longgg time. My face feels so soft. It's a relieve! The only bad thing is that it turned into a large red area. It feels like babyskin and I'm not sure these kind of scars will go away. That's why my doctor decided to send me to a dermatologist. I hope that will help me with the scarring. The left side of my face has still got some active acne-spots and that's why I have to take the doxycycline for another month. But it's not that worse anymore. Just a spot here and there. Haven't had any cysts or wounds or infected areas. It's just some pimples. I can live with that Next goal: get rid of the scars! And to keep the acne away. I'm very glad that the anitbiotics are being so helpfull. And I think that the BP is giving a great support! The BP heals my skin on the surface and gets rid of all the little zits and redness, and the doxycycline is taking care of the big problems. Very good! I'm feeling better day by day. Yay!

ananaz

ananaz

04/01/2010

 

Day 80 + doxy

Oh my, eighty days! Well, the good news is that I'm not so bothered with my skin anymore and that the right side of my face is really healing (I would like to say 'healed', but I'm still scared that it will come back ..). I guess the antibiotics are doing a great job! The bad news is that my left side is bumpy again. Nooooooo! But I didn't touch it at all, which is very good and I think the spots are fading allready. So. I'm gonna win this fight. It will be gone. All of it! I think I'll go and see my docter again in two weeks and I really hope that the antibiotics did their job by then. My goals are going okay. I can't remember me eating pizza anymore, so that's good, and I have a much better chocolate-behaviour (yes, that's a new word ... ). My very fantastic running shoes on the other hand are feeling quite lonely I guess. I have some kind of injury. BUT next week I'll try and start again! And I LOVE spring!

ananaz

ananaz

03/24/2010

 

Day 72 + doxy

Ooops ... didn't write for a while. But I'm alive!! I think I forgot to write because it's going a lot better with my skin and I don't have to think about it anymore. The doxycycline is doing a great job! I'm putting the BP on my face only once a day and that saves me a lot of time and frustration. It all cleared up a lot. The spots are nearly active and it's all just hyperpigmentation and scars. And that's while I'm only a weak on it. I really think that this is gonna help me out. All I have to do is pray that it won't come back.

ananaz

ananaz

03/16/2010

 

Day 64 + doxy

Okay, I couldn't take it anymore. It's enough. I went to see the doctor today. My doctor found it problamatic and she gave me an antibioticum: doxycycline. This should work and I have to take it for a month. I'm going to use the benzoylperoxide only once a day now, as a support. If it all works properly the doxycycline should get my face clear en the BP should keep it clear. Count down. One month to go!

ananaz

ananaz

03/08/2010

 

Day 62

Hmm, my face ain't so happy today. I've got two new zits. Noooooo! I should stay positive. I shouldn't touch my skin. I should still be smiling. I shouldn't think about what other people think. I shouldn't complain about it. I should just have faith in it. Why is it so hard ... It's weird actually that I can feel so bad just because my face looks bad. It's like I feel it all day. Even when I don't look in the mirror I'll just feel bad. It's so hard to just ignore my face and be happy about the rest of me. I think I'll try to pretend I look good again. Maybe it works. Or maybe not. Maybe I'll just scream and look angry at everyone who stares at me.

ananaz

ananaz

03/06/2010

 

Day 60

Two months counting and still smiling! I can honestly say that I'm very happy that I tried this product. It really works! Althought it took some time, I think that my skin is healing by now. I haven't had any new spots this week, which is very good! Because I was on vacation I didn't had the time to do the BP twice a day. I decided that I would only use it in the morning. At least that's better then not using it at all. At first I was avraid that once a day wouldn't be good enough, but it seemed to have worked. My skin cleared a lot this week! Maybe it is because it was so cold, or maybe because I had a lot of fresh air, or maybe because I bought a new moisterizer, or maybe just because. I don't know. But it's good! Now that I'm back I'll do the BP twice a day again. I really think that this last month should do the trick. After three months you might expect some improvement, right? I guess time will show me.

ananaz

ananaz

03/04/2010

 

Day 51

Yesterday I couldn't take my smile of my face. I looked so good! It's the best I've looked in YEARS! My skin feels soft and there is no redness at all. Today it's still the same, so that's a good thing. I bought a new (less expensive) moisterizer yesterday, but yuk! that stuff is awful! It's thick and it doesn't absorb very well. It could be a good moisterizer, but defenitely not in combination with the BP. Let's hide it somewhere where I can't find it. I also bought the vitamines. I have a multivitamin with extra omega-3 and zink tablets. I'm really curious about what it's gonna do. Next week I'm on vacation, so I won't update this blog. I hope I can keep myself making time to do the BP. When I'm back it will be the end of month two! I'm excited!

ananaz

ananaz

02/23/2010

 

Day 49

Today I've been officially seven weeks on the Regimen! It is still going great! Althought I made a HUGE mistake this week. On Tuesday night and Wednesday morning I couldn't make time to do the BP (or I didn't want to make time ...) and that was really the most stupid thing I could ever have done. It was all going so well until I scipped these two. It all came back. AGAIN! I felt so angry with myself. It was just stupid and I'll never do it again. Luckely it is all clearing again by now. Just a week and a half and I'll be two months on the regimen. It is going quick! My goal is to see some improvement and to feel happy about my skin for at least three days in a row, without any complaining. Hope I can do that. Maybe I should try it allready. I'm doing very good with the chocolate, coffee and pizza's. Didn't had any this week! I'm proud of myself. Don't know if it will do me any good, but it just feels better. And perhaps it helps. I want to go to get me some new multivitamin tomorrow and maybe I'll also look for some omega3 and zink minerals. We're still going! And NOT giving up!

ananaz

ananaz

02/21/2010

 

Day 43

Hi! Just wanted to tell you how HAPPY I am! Yesterday I decided that I should stop complaining and just pretend myself to look beautiful and clear. I had a fantastic night and it felt good! This morning I woke up and it actually WAS beautiful and clear (well, not clear, but at least a whole lot better!!). I can't tell you how good it feels! I think I'll just go around and smile all day. I'm proud of myself

ananaz

ananaz

02/15/2010

 

Day 42

Six weeks on the regimen! That sounds like a lot ... This week my skin has really improved! Althought many people still think it looks bad, I can see a difference. The spots are still there, but they don't seem to be active anymore. So the only problem left is to make them dissapear. I just hope that I won't break out AGAIN, 'cause then I can start this whole process all over again. I really tried to don't pick at my skin and let the BP do all the work. I think that helped a lot! Thought the bad-spots on my cheeks are still problematic. They start opening and bleeding only when I look at it. Even when I'm very gentle with washing my face. Don't know if that's good or bad. I think it could be good because all the bacteria will come out, but I think the bad thing is that my skin is very weak and just burst open all the time. But right now it looks a bit better, so I hope my skin will get stronger. And I hope the scars won't be so bad ... but that's a point for later. My skin is very dry again and I have a lot of flakes. This morning I put the BP only on the spots, just to let my skin recover again. And I can't stand to be covered in flakes on valentines day

ananaz

ananaz

02/14/2010

 

Day 38

Okay, I should stay positive about it. Or else I might just as well stop the BP. I was absolutely frustrated yesterday. I just didn't know what to do anymore. The cyst-area changed into a large wound. So many people told me I looked bad. At that moment I really wanted to just stay in bed all day. But that never proved to get rid of your problems, so I guess that's not a great idea. I had a steam tablet from Lush with Tea-Tree and it said to be good for irritated skin, so I decided to try it. I maked sure that the steam wasn't too hot. I think it helped a little bit. The wound is healing, but there are still a lot of zits which have come up this week. Hope they will be gone again and don't come back. And I should STOP eating chocolate. Althought it hasn't been proven, I'm very sure that it's not good for my skin. All the rest of my goals are going very well: sporting, no pizza's, no coffee, ... We'll see. I'm still frustrated but I have a little bit of hope again.

ananaz

ananaz

02/10/2010

 

Day 37

Oh no. I think my skin is mad at me or something ... I don't want to go outside. I have such a huge infection! I really don't know what went wrong. I took every step of the Regimen precisely and it still doesn't work! It has been better for a while, but at this moment I actually think it got worse then it was. Damn it. I will keep going on with the BP, but I'm feeling very angry and insecure. Guess I'll just hide in my house and hope that no one will see me like this. I really could cry about this. I hate it.

ananaz

ananaz

02/09/2010

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