hahaah The thought occurred to me today that acne is like a demon that possesses your body.
It takes over and there's nothing you can do about it. If you are an Exorcist fan like me.. you know that Regan never truly gets rid of the demon..it's always there lingering, waiting for the next time she's weak and it can take over again.
Welp, that's how I feel. My skin is possessed by the acne demon. I always come up with all sorts of bad analogies for acne lol
But seriously I'm having a serious breakout at the moment and guess I just need to vent...in the only place I feel I can, where if someone were to actually read this, they can understand my pain.
Soo..I stayed up ALLL night last night researching the notorious "DEMODEX MITE!" Sounds unreal I know, but they are real. There are people who are aware that these mites are the cause of Rosacea, they treat the mites and their skin gets better.
I began researching this problem I've been having recently on my eyelids, which is itchy dry skin, and it can get bumpy if I don't take off my makeup, or if I itch my eyes. Turns out a lot of people have this issue, it's called "demodex blepharitis" We all naturally have bacteria and fungai on our bodies... but when you're having symptoms, it means you're infested. "INFESTED!!!" omg I could just chop my head off... and rid myself of these things forever. So apparently these mites, which are microscopic, crawl across your face, feed off our oils and dead skin cells...leaving their filthy feces behind, they also die and decompose all over your face too.. yaay
So, it MITE just be possible that this whooooole time (15 years) I've been suffering with acne, it could be due to these demodex mites. It makes sense since I've tried everything to get rid of my acne, but it always comes back. They also said the mites cause itchiness and inflamation..duuuh acne! And get this, when you're skin, or pimple is itchy ... it's the mite moving around inside your pore ( or possibly babies being born!) I know it sounds like a bad B sci-fi movie, but if you or your child has ever had lice then this will make perfect sense.
I'm not an expert on these mites, but does sound like they could be the culprit. I do have a theory, that since we all carry the mites, but not everyone suffers from acne...perhaps us who suffer do not produce enough of whatever fights off the mites in our bodies. Similar to one who does not produce insulin, therefore becomes diabetic. Just my theory, but sounds legit. I know that when I take birth control pills containing progesterone, my skin gets clearer.
So, I'm not going to jump on the bandwagon and start buying expensive treatments that supposedly get rid of the mites. I am however going to try a total tea tree oil experiment..since tea tree oil is known to kill the mites. 2morrow is pay day so I'm going to hit up trader joes and buy the tea tree oil shampoo, soap, whatever else they have. I am going to smell horrible but so what. I'm gonna try it for 2 weeks and see if there are any improvements. I'm also going to buy new pillows, perhaps sprinkle some borax on my mattress, and take bleach baths once a week.
I'm excited to perhaps get rid of these mites, however if my theory is valid, then they'll beee baaack!
Welp, can't believe I'm back here. This really sucks. I'm feeling really awful right now. I've just recently this past week or 2 completely broken out all over my face. It's worse than ever, worse than it's ever been. Or at least that's how I'm feeling after a year or more with my acne kind of under control because of birth control pills.. Zarah! Which I had to get off cus they were making me nutty, but now I might have to get back on them. It'll take forever just to get semi clear, cus even with the pill I've never been completely clear, but definitely better off. Right now I feel like crying it's so bad. You know how it is, just when you think your skin is getting better..it gets worse..what is it mental or something. I hate this shit, and people who don't have acne have no clue what I'm going through, what we go through everyday. I know it sounds vein or something, but it really is awful. It's like a terrible disease that thrashes and ruins your skin..ON YOUR FACE! On what is supposed to be beautiful, my skin is completely ruined now.. I look hideous and will never recover because at 35 my skin is now aging and losing elasticity..and I'm starting to feel like a monster.
I feel like someone is going to say.. what happened to your skin and Im just going to break down. I don't know why this is happening to me. What sort of lesson am I supposed to be learning, and dammit after 14 years of suffering with acne you'd think I'd have learned it by now.
I'm not suicidal or anything, but I just don't feel like I can be happy with all these red, inflamed bumps ALL over my face.. and it's painful too..emotionally, physically, mentally. I'm so done with this shit.
I'm not even going to try to cover it up..I give up..fuck it.
What happened was I started getting little bumps all over my face..and well you know those don't just go away..THEY BECOME INFLAMED!!! They're literally everywhere, and I don't know what I'm going to do.
Every night I go to sleep I hope I'll wake up with clearer skin.. but hahaha yea right it just gets worse and worse.
I've been going through so much emotionally lately..this whole year. Broke up with my boyfriend on New Years.. that was the reason I finally decided to say fuck it to those damn pills..and I was feeling better and now this. I'm about to start school for nursing, and I really wanted to make it a great experience but now with all this acne.. I will undoubtely lose all of my confidence. That I had just worked so hard this year to rebuild. Even though with all the scars and bad skin look it isn't easy, but at least I didn't have all these bumps.
Welp I had to come back on here and get back in touch with the acne me..even though it sucks I'm glad I have this place at least to vent, and read other peoples stories. This place is a life saver.. I feel like if I write down my feelings maybe I'll feel a lil better. So far it's not working. I've been really unhappy and down on myself lately and this just really doesn't help.
Right now my skin feels on fire cus it knows Im talking bout it lol.. thatd be a good scary movie huh..killer acne that ruins lives.. oh wait true story... FML
Can't hardly be a pretty girl or beautiful woman with this awful damn Bill Murray skin..no offense bill murray you're wonderful..
this just sucks!!!!