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About this blog

although i can plaster on the makeup, it's never quite as nice as the dream of being clear.

Entries in this blog


Sometimes things need to change, sometimes it's the attitude that needs to change.

I'm really happy. I mean, I've been depressed lately, but am out of that funk, and it wasn't to do with my acne. A lot of things have happened in the past year. I took a year off school, which meant working on and off, hanging in suspended animation of holy crap what am i doing with my life, taking trips to washington, and a great epic journey and adventure to Ireland. I've grown up a lot. But not in the way anyone would expect. I've really come into my own, I've realized who I am. I've stopped trying to please the world. To give credit where credit is overdue. My Life is Average. I haven't been on that website in the past 6 months, but it changed my life. It made me take charge of my complete and utter dorky side. MLIA made me realize that I can be this goofy spontaneous child-like goofball that I want to be. I can own several lightsabers, a Spock action figure, an Avatar t-shirt, and paper my walls with old Star Trek and Star Wars posters. I can watch Doctor Who and swoon over Matt Smith or David Tennant and then go and talk about them on the IMDb boards like a fiend. I can dress up like Wolverine complete with a beard even though I'm a girl. Or walk down the streets with crazy Mad Hatter makeup and play in a fountain. I'm releasing the inner child that I want to be and at the same time taking control of my life. I'm going to school in the fall. My two cousins and I got our little flat a week or two ago finalized. I have my own place. I couldn't be more excited. I'm taking Irish Studies, and Archeology, and maybe some Astronomy. I'm so pumped for this. I've moved a few times since the last time I was on here. Right. More credit. This website here. Confidence flows to me from it. It makes me stronger, the person I always wished I could be, I now am. I'm more than happy, I'm content. I'm satisfied and excited and invigorated by life, despite the hardships I've been facing lately. Again. Ireland. It was the best 3 and a half weeks of my life. Shinanigans went down. I got mono. The past few months following Ireland? Not as much fun. I had every complication you could have. Fainting spells, depression, exhaustion to the point of inability to function. YUP. For the most part now, I'm doing good. I'm working a little bit again. I'm pumped for the future. I'm turning 19! Life is beautiful. My acne hasn't troubled me in so long. It's still there. I'm not sure if it's milder, or if my attitude, health, and cessation of skin picking have been the real cures. I do have breakouts yes. And they do annoy me. But I've gotten better at this. I feel so effing pretty right now, no makeup, scraggly half grown out hair, and ten pounds heavier than last year. And I've never been better.