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Ever since I was fifteen years old I've been ashamed of my skin, having this disease also made me really focus more on my facial features in general as I was growing into a young adult. And that's when I started noticing how ugly my facial features were even if I didn't have pimples. I started to resent my parents for giving birth to me. It took me almost twenty years to finally understand that I didn't win the genetic lottery. My self-importance doesn't want to accept that I'm inferior because

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I Want to Laugh Like I Used To

I want to joke about how uncomfortable my face makes people feel, like in Harry Potter, you know? To defeat the Boggart, you have to turn it into something ridiculous, and that's what I want to do with all of these haunting memories of people cringing, avoiding eye contact, and making certain comments about my face. I want to just say "Ridiculous!" so the laughter can make the pain go away. It is kind of funny how people get rattled at the sight of me though. They fidget and squirm and come up w

Social Exclusion for Life

Social isolation is so painful for me. Do you know what I'm doing right now? I have a Youtube video opened up on another tab. It's a few guys just having a friendly conversation so that I can feel a part of a group of friends, and on my phone I have another Youtube video of a guy doing what he was born to do and that's play piano. It helps with the illusion of feeling connected to someone. I honestly don't know if I can use this blog section for these types of thoughts, but if the modera

Once Again

A glance over some of the blogs here and it looks like my blog may be out of place, but acne and acne scarring is the reason for my situation. And I feel that what I want to express would be understood better here than anywhere else, and I've written in other places too just hoping that there's someone out there listening. I guess that's better than what I have now. I hope this isn't depressing for people out there that read the blog section and create their own. And if it is, I'm really sorry,

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