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but of course, i picked it. (pls answer the question @ the end)

the title pretty much explains it. and pls read n answer the question at the end.  i picked at that monster cyst and now i have this huge fleshy wound. i did manage to pop it and pus came out. but the cyst, as i described in the previous entry, was oval shaped which led me to assume it was two zits merged together kind of like siamese twins. it was a siamese zit.  this wound i have now clearly shows where exactly the two zits were, they're like two circles. it scabbed over in this shap

lizuca10

lizuca10

12/10/19

 

this hurts

i have a very painful, deep cyst on the side of my forehead.  its very oddly shaped like its not circular, its more oval like and not rounded, it is super weird.  im kinda annoyed. it really fucking hurts and its huuge. im going to refrain from picking it or trying to pop it cause i KNOW that will wreak havoc.  whatever. im over it.  anyway, i spent the entire day working on a research paper for my english class. this professor is so fucking rude when it comes to grades, she

lizuca10

lizuca10

12/07/19

 

just a casual hello

so i returned that eridikate bullshit. it literally did absolutely nothing. i can see it working on reaaaally tiny surfaced whiteheads, even just popped whiteheads, i can see it helping with the inflammation or whatever, but it did nothing for my small cyst or any papules.  ~i went to sephora and exchanged it for a black kat von d lipstick (which im wearing in the photo below) and im not sorry about it at all.~ hehe  oh, and by the way, i got bangs.  it was last tuesday, an hour before

lizuca10

lizuca10

12/01/19

 

eradikate, my ass. im [freaking] sad.

i went to sephora yesterday and bought the eradikate spot treatment.  it didn't seem to do shit.  after my monster zit last week, i thought, okay, now its over, i can have a peaceful week this week.  but history repeats itself, doesn't it?  every time i finally get rid of one zit, a new one appears. literally every [freaking] time.  would you look at my last week's entry on where i say i "woke up to a zit"... that was last tuesday and today is tuesday, and i woke up to a

lizuca10

lizuca10

11/26/19

 

Jessica Jones

its friday. i really dont want to go to school.  the red circle on my face from the hydrocolloid is still there. sigh. im gonna make a forum now and ask about how to get rid of redness/ marks.  i just covered it with makeup even though it made me cringe. yesterday i wore a beanie to cover my forehead, and to be honest i look so bad in hats. like, i feel so uncomfortable. ~but~ at least in college you could wear a fucking sombrero in class and no one would tell you to take it off. in hi

lizuca10

lizuca10

11/22/19

Last Reply:
12/02/19

 

im hungry

i've been hungry for 8 months. i wont allow myself to eat anything for my fear of breaking out.  i mean, then again, my breakout has been lasting 8 months....  i should just get bangs and eat a bowl of cheese and melted dark chocolate.  mmmmm and dominos pizza.... papa johns cheese sticks and hot wings with BLUE CHEESE.... MMMMMMMMMMMM fucking HOT CHEETOS ON A TOASTED BAGEL WITH CREAM CHEESE FOUR CHEESE MAC AND CHEESE, HOMEMADE LASAGNA, OH MY GOD i miss it so much. 

lizuca10

lizuca10

11/21/19

 

[screw] hydrocolloid patches

okay one: they don't [freaking] work. and yes i tried it on the "right type of pimple". i used the peach slices brand. two: they left a red ring around the pimple, which is in the center of my forehead. LOL. not going to lie it is a little bit funny. guess i'm just gonna have to wear a hat today, again.  i tried covering it with makeup but i don't wear foundation all over my face, i only spot apply a little bit of concealer, and this red area is just way too large for me to cover with

lizuca10

lizuca10

11/21/19

Last Reply:
11/30/19

 

bangs? cheese?

so i'm considering getting bangs. i've been considering bangs for a while because of my acne. i do have a phobia of things touching my face, even my own hands and hair, so it would be something......new. *mentally screams at the thought of hair grease staying on my forehead 24/7* but i've been experimenting with it in the mirror, i don't think it looks bad, i just don't look as good as i think i look now, hair wise.  i really do like the way i style my hair now. i think its r

lizuca10

lizuca10

11/20/19

Last Reply:
11/22/19

 

this morning

i have one class this morning.  obviously i dont want to go, i am dreading it. im just going to wear my cap to cover my face. its not going to make me feel any better though.  i just feel so fucking tired.  last night after i wrote my first three depressing entries, i made myself draw and write in my journal.  i found that it did calm me a little, and made me forget about crying and hating myself.  because the reality is, i dont hate myself. i do love myself, a

lizuca10

lizuca10

11/20/19

 

self harm, self hatred

ive been crying for 8 months straight.  this is the third entry for tonight, i am just so tired.  i remember a few months ago i was feeling this way and i tried to get in contact with the national suicide hotline. i waited for an hour, never got connected to anyone. i really needed someone then. maybe i need someone now. i just dont even know how i would attempt to describe, to a therapist, the fact that my depression solely exists because of my acne. the fact that i have self harmed a

lizuca10

lizuca10

11/19/19

Last Reply:
12/08/19

 

my ocd

this experience with acne has exacerbated my ocd.  i have always had obsessive compulsive tendencies, but thats all that they were. tendencies. im going to be completely honest here, and i hope i dont trigger anyone.  before all of this, i would do this thing where i had to repeat this phrase in my head until it sounded right, whenever i thought about something that i did not want to happen.  i would also knock five times on wood with my right hand (only my index finger knuck

lizuca10

lizuca10

11/19/19

 

today

please read my first forum before starting this. today, i stayed home from school again woke up to a zit i cant help it i try not to let my acne control my life, but it literally will not let me go free ive noticed lately i do not cry as much about my acne like i used to. when the acne first started creeping up, i would cry over small teeny pimples. now that i am getting regular painful cysts i have become desensitized, yet still so sensitive when it comes to my ski

lizuca10

lizuca10

11/19/19

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