Well, I'll be honest. I don't have the right ingredients, and I went out and got some 5%, then some weird lotion from a drug store with SPF in it (currently on vacation in Canada, going back to the States tomorrow). My skin looked way worse yesterday, so I rinsed off all the products and didn't put anything on my face today.
Here's the deal. I came on this trip and didn't bring any acne meds with me, right? I really wanted to see if my face could clear up on its own. Now to be fair, my forehead did seem to clear up quite a bit, but I really don't know about my perception. My acne is definitely mild or a slight moderate at worst, but it's so persistent. I HATE slathering on the BP, but I think I have to accept that it's just where I'm at at this point. And I am willing to try clearing it up by doing DKR exactly as he says...
Right now I don't have any of the correct products on hand, so I'm just not touching my face and spot treating with 5% on the few active lesions I have. It definitely just irritates (and then breaks out) my skin otherwise.
I fucking hate this-- I do, I'm 30 years old -- but I KNOW, KNOW that when I get clear again this time, it's going to be for real.
So here are the goals:
1) Pretty much no active acne by September 1st (best friend's wedding) 2) No more/limited PIH by my 31st birthday (October 1st!)
These are my goals. I'm focused. I have Dan's BP at home, along with the jojoba and Cetaphil. I'M DOING THIS.
After my last blog post, my skin had a miraculous clearing. It was a combination of limited stress, plus a drastic reduction of BP and a new moisturizer (a beautiful olive water from Japan). My skin was glowing, perfect, milky, creamy...
Then, I came back to school to finish my PhD (it's done-- except for the final PDF submission! Yay!), and some emotional stress, and my skin took a drastic turn for the worse. To be fair, it's not super bad-- it's mild/moderate, with some scattered (persistent) smaller pimples and a bunch of red spots... but I just feel insecure, frustrated, and ugly. I don't really get cysts or anything like that, but this time it has just very hard to get rid of. My forehead, like last year, broke out in tiny pimples and blackheads, and my chin keeps getting hit with medium-sized zits (the kind that turn yellow and then die... and then resurface right next door). I'm 30 years old -- actually, soon to be 31-- and I'm totally done with this shit.
I want perfectly clear skin. And I will get it, by my 31st birthday (about 6 weeks from now).
So, let's talk about DKR. As mentioned, I've been using some form of it for the past 8 (!) years, and at times it's brought me great success. When I had a major, severe cystic breakout 8.5 years ago, DKR cleared up my skin completely within six months (and that includes most red marks). Then, last year, it cleared up the moderate/severe breakout I had on my back quite beautifully, as well as a folliculitis breakout on my chest. It got things under control on my face, but the drying, the irritation, the redness, the flaking... I can't go through that again, and I am no longer convinced that slathering this stuff on my face is really going to help what is, in actuality, pretty mild acne.
So this is the thing about DKR... can it be altered? For one, I don't want to go through the peeling again, and to have my face be reliant on these chemicals. The acne on my face is mild, and I don't know if I really need to put gobs of this on my face. Besides: I know he says there is no long-term consequence, but I don't feel good slathering all that stuff on my face. And I HATE the greasy feel of Cetaphil, Cerave, and Dan's lotion, too, that you need when you're putting so much BP on your face.
On the other hand, nothing I try to do on my own seems to be working, and I am ready for clear skin...
Over the years, I have found that, at least for me, the most important part of DKR seems to be 1) being gentle with my face, 2) having a clear routine with skin care (at least until clear), and 3) not touching my face at all. The thing is, I find I do get acne in placs where I touch my face, or where my hair touches my face, and so I am going to be diligent about this as I move forward.
So, I'll be keeping a blog to track my progress as I apply BP and moisturizer (in smaller quantities), and hope to eventually wean myself off. The thing I know about 'my skin is that its much easier for ' cme to maintain it when it's already cslear than it is to clear it up. Also, writing about it keeps me focused and inspired-- and with my eyes on the goal, success is guarenteed. I believe in myself!