kailaruth

I hear you!!! And I'm with you! Much love

You're quite right - you don't need to earn that.  Especially if it might aid you in not picking and help you feel good. Could be worth treating yourself.

A lot of people seem to give in to it at the end of the day so you're not alone.  That's usually my worst time, before I go to bed. It's a blessing that I'm single and sleep alone; at least then I don't need to worry about anyone seeing me with acne creams or whatever plastered all over my face!

Been a bit rough on myself these last few days, stressed and nervous about a job interview.  I made it worse by picking two days in a row.  When the interviews are sometimes
based on first impressions, the last thing I wanted was to go in there with red marks and things all over my face, but that's what happened.   Made it through to the final stage next week though so hopefully I might have a new job real soon!

This last month or so, the way I've refrained from picking until this week has been impressive, even if I do say so myself.  I'm trying to think of what I did or didn't do in case I might be able to give some advice, but I don't think there was anything in particular.  I suppose I made sure that I didn't give in to any urges to pick when I was feeling down or negative.  Generally tried to do things to lift my spirits instead.  It depends on what my skin's doing and given that I don't have much acne these days, that's made it a lot easier.  I think I'm quite a lazy person in truth and, if I'm honest, part of me is just no longer bothered about spending ages in front of the mirror and causing the damage and then hiding away for days on end.  It's mentally draining and I've done it for thirteen years.  Guess I got fed up of it.  It's not like I've just been able to switch it off, but something's changed in terms of my mentality towards it I think.

I guess a lot of how I'm thinking now is based on how aware I am about the things my self-inflicted battle with my skin and my emotions has cost me.  It was a case of all-or-nothing so if ever I was broken out or I'd messed up, I'd hide away.  Lost all my friendships over the years, never had the confidence to approach girls and stuff so never been in a relationship or anything like that, even managed to get fired from my job.  Just totally dropped off the radar and it was all because I couldn't stop picking and didn't want to be seen. I used to be really negative and all "woe is me" about it, but now I just mention it to explain where I was at.  After all, there's only so long you can whine about it before you have to take action, which is where I'm at now because that was no life at all and not where I want to be going forward.  Suppose there's just a determination to stop because of all of that.  I'd imagine though, that for anyone who has managed to cope with it along the way - comparatively speaking - and maintained friendships and relationships, etc., they perhaps don't feel like it has had so much of a negative impact so maybe the habit remains and builds up without them quite realising, then they reach a point where they don't know how to stop it.

I noticed something you said at the start, Kaila, that you'd tried to stop it before and "failed so many times".  Don't look at it that way.  It's going to be an ongoing thing until the habit kind of fades away, so there's every chance of slipping up along the way.  Doesn't mean you failed, just means you haven't quite figured out the best way to curb it.  Like with the thirty day thing; at least now you know that that isn't the right way for you to approach it, so you can cross that off the list and try another approach.  All comes down to learning to preempt how you might react to stuff and kind of being in-tune with how you're feeling.  If you can actively anticipate when you might be likely to pick or if there are any particular times of the day when it happens the most, you can be proactive about that and do something to raise your mood when necessary or make an alteration to your routine which might help take picking and any allotted time you'd give it out of the equation.

Hello Paul-
Please let me know how the final stage of interviews goes! They'd be ill advised to pass up on such a thoughtful and thorough human just because of a few spots!

I know what you mean about hiding away- however I do it with loads of makeup most of the time. I'm trying to avoid wearing foundation for the next couple of weeks in order to start accepting my skin more and to give it some time to breath and recover as well. I even went out to dinner last night without make up! It was dreadful at first but then I totally forgot about my skin and had a great time (also the lighting was dim in the restaurant! YES! haha). I like what you said about explaining it to people right of fthe bat- I'd think that doing so would help to take away the power/ embarrassment. I've found that to be true with my boyfriend but he is the only person I'm really comfortable with enough to go there. Might try it at work this week- especially without any make up to hide behind

Quite grateful for your input and kindness Paul!

Be well.

Hi Laura!

I LOVE the idea of a zen garden- being outside in my actual garden helps me a ton as well! I recently bought one of those 4 sided nail bufer things (they make your nails really smooth and shiny) and that has been a great hand occupier! Being busy at work does help me- but I find that once I hit a certain level of stress I have a wicked hard time stopping myself from picking. It can go either way I guess! A massage sounds awesome! Are you studying for finals? If so good luck!!!!

I just bought a 'Zen Garden' from Amazon- I thought it might give me something to do with my hands if I am tempted to pick! hehe. You look happier in your photos, Kalia. Do you think being busy at work helps you pick less? I am really busy at the moment too- I think this has helped me to curb the habit a bit. x x

Hello.

My name is Kaila and I really would like to stop picking my skin. I am 27 and have been doing this since I was 19. At this point I have no idea if I even have acne or if this is all self inflicted.

Today I need to commit to loving my face despite it's flaws.  I'd really love some support on this journey. I have started and failed so many times.

I'll spare you any long stories- the photos of my face are from tonight. I am in need of a new regimen as well- my skin looks quite dry, discolored and damage.

I am interested in natural approaches and holistic healing. Tonight I'm feeling quite defeated and very sad.

Thank you all.

Be well.

Kaila

IT IS WORKING.

My skin looks better. Red marks are almost gone on left cheek- darker more serious red mark on right cheek is still there but slightly improved. Uninflammed bumps under my skin are reducing and overall skin tone is much more radiant and smooth. My face feels soft and smooth when I wash it instead of bumpy, flaky and rough.

I feel great too. More energy and (sorry) pooping really well. haha.

I have started taking the fresh veggie and fruit juice 2x a day and drinking is slower to reduce nausea.

I also have added the daily microfoliant from dermalogica to help exfoliate.