My acne was very similar to you and hormonal methods have worked great for me. Accutane never stuck, and I do break out again when I go off my anti-androgens, but I'm not so sure that after the initial flare of your body accepting it's not taking hormones anymore that acne is much worse than it was before. It might seem worse because you are older and your skin doesn't bounce back like it used to. And I think people are just surprised that their acne came back. Well no shit, sherlock, you never stopped having acne, you just had it under control.
I truly believe that spiro/diane/yaz are the best treatments out there for adult women with acne, and there is no reason you have to stop taking them prior to menopause (or even during necessarily).
Any acne treatment you find that works comes with the risk of relapse after.
Hope you find your solution soon, but I don't think 'learning to live with it' is the one you should feel you have to choose.