So at the beginning of last summer, I became obsessed with my worsening acne. I decided to make a change and made the BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE. I read and researched everything there was to know about diet and acne on this website. Before I even knew what happened, all I was eating as cabbage and occasionally gluten free waffles . That was the beginning of my eating disorder.
Months later, I have now been diagnosed with BDD with awareness(basically I know my skin isn't that bad, yet I believe it is. It's confusing and I hate it), OCD, Restrictive Food Intake Disorder, anxiety/social anxiety, and depression, all because of my stupid acne.
All of my dreams have gone out the window, I see no one anymore, and I can't eat anything without having a panic attack, in fear of breaking out. I go into the bathroom with the lights off so I don't have to see myself. If I get one tiny pimple, I fall deeper into depression, regret everything I ate that week, and hate myself even more.
My skin isn't even that bad. I'm working with an esthetician who literally works magic on acne, but I'm still not happy. I'm afraid of screwing everything up and going back to square one.
I am wasting away, losing weight again (down to 90 pounds) and never feel happy. The determined young girl is completely gone. I'm literally a shell.
I am living in hell, a prisoner in my own mind. I'm finally seeing a therapist and I have my first meeting with a dietitian coming up.
Please send your good vibes my way, and I'll send mine to everyone else suffering. I needed to get this off my chest and warn everyone before they start researching diet and acne, PLEASE BE CAREFUL. I was stupid and took EVERYTHING EVERYONE SAID ON HERE way too seriously, and ate myself into a corner. Now I am a different girl than I was. Like I said, a shell of a human being.
Sending my love. <3