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patrick92

Member Since 17 Aug 2013
Online Last Active Today, 03:19 AM

#3429955 Lol @ People Who Think "confidence" Gets You A Girlfriend

Posted by patrick92 on 04 May 2014 - 06:39 AM

Oh great another one of these "I'm too ugly/women are so shallow threads" rolleyes.gif

Now this is not meant as an insult but you seem to make a lot of assumptions about what women think despite the fact you've made it very clear that you actually been unable to get to know any very well. Your probably a nice guy in real life, but if your attitude towards yourself in real life is anything like it is on here then I think that's probably the source of your problems with women!!




#3429336 Dating With Acne

Posted by patrick92 on 30 April 2014 - 03:59 AM

I don't get the point of this post.....Are you just trying to make everyone on here feel bad or more self concious about themselves than they already are? 




#3428514 How Do My Fellow Ugly Guys Cope With Being Undesired?

Posted by patrick92 on 25 April 2014 - 03:58 AM

Chemical castration!!!! That is a bit extreme.

I understand the frustration that comes with dating with acne, and I often struggle with my own self esteem, but...... and I don't want to seem harsh or judgemental here..... there always seems to be someone here making completely irrational statements about the opposite sex writing them off because of their appearance, seemingly with the sole intention of arguing with anyone trying to persuade them that actually people aren't that shallow or nasty!

 

Yes, acne can destroy your self-esteem, and yes, that makes it really hard to view yourself as attractive/desirable, but the thing that will actually put other people off is intense negativity and a complete lack of self confidence. If you spend the rest of your life feeling so intensely low and jaded, chances are you really will realise your worst fears and end up alone. Just try and be positive, do the things you enjoy, be friendly, meet new people and eventually your bound to meet someone who likes you just the way you are.




#3407952 Patrick's Retin-A And Doxycycline Log

Posted by patrick92 on 15 January 2014 - 12:28 AM

Awesome that this seems to have worked so well for you smile.png

 

I have questions! When you used the regimen in the past, did you experience bad flaking with that? The flaking with retin a, is it the same / better / worse than the regimen flaking for you?

And here's a potentially tougher one - if you had to imagine wearing makeup while using retin-a, do you think it would be manageable or does the skin become too flaky or peel etc? 

Not expecting an answer with the last question really but thought I'd ask tongue.png Maybe someone who's used retin-a and makeup will stumble across the thread and let me know tongue.png

 

Congrats on clear skin smile.png

 

Thanks :)

Sorry about the late reply...I keep forgetting to check this thread :P

 

When I used the regimen (or any bp treatment for that matter) I always had really really bad flaking - especially when I first started. Sometimes I would leave home thinking I had the dry skin sorted and then I'd look into a mirror after eating lunch or something and my whole chin would just be a giant flaky mess. Not nice and quite embarrassing. Personally with Retin-a I had very little flaking and it seemed to stop fairly quickly. It was so minimal it didn't bother me at all really.

 

Your right that is a harder one to answer :P Well first off you only apply Retin-A at night so your not going to have to apply make up over the top of it unless you went out late at night for some reason. As for the flaking I guess it depends on the person as some might experience more flaking than others but for me personally I had so little flaking I don't think make up would have been a problem at all - especially compared to the flaking from the regimen :P




#3407247 Patrick's Retin-A And Doxycycline Log

Posted by patrick92 on 12 January 2014 - 04:48 AM

I had completely forgotten I was writing this ( not that anyone but me reads it anyway :P) hence the massive gaps between posts.

So now I'm around 5 months into using Retin-a so I should probably sum up the main things I have found/experienced so far.......

1. My skin is now 95% clear. I still get one or  two very small pimples every 2-3 weeks but they fade very very quickly and leave virtually no mark afterwards.

2. When I first started using Retin-A I was also put on a 3 month course of doxy to prevent any initial breakouts. This worked very well as I had no noticeable initial breakout what so ever and haven't in the 2 months I've been off doxy either.

3. It's well known that Retin-A can make your skin more prone to sunburn and possibly even dry/irritated. Personally I haven't noticed any increased sensitivity (even during the current hot summer weather) and I haven't been taking any extra precautions. Occasionally I may wake up with slightly flaky skin but that's the worst irritation I've experienced with Retin-A.

4. It's also well known that Retin-a (and other retinoids) take a long time to start working properly. In my case this has turned out to be very true. In the first 3 months my skin remained pretty much the same - no worse than it had been but not significantly better either. Once I hit month 4 and 5 I really began noticing a change. I was hardly breaking out, my skin tone was nice and even , and hyper-pigmentation was fading faster. I haven't had an active pimple for 3 weeks now and the last one was tiny and faded in 2 days. There were times when I wondered if it was going to work for me but I can honestly say it was worth the wait.

In a couple more weeks I will probably have flawless skin for the first time in 6 years or so. It's taking a bit of getting used to seeing my face with clear skin, but it's safe to say it's a good problem to have. The thing I don't yet know is how long I will have to use it for. Only time will tell but at the moment I'm planning to keep using it as long as possible to avoid going back to my old skin.

If anyone should stumble across this and have any specific questions about using Retin-a feel free to ask.


#3388241 Patrick's Retin-A And Doxycycline Log

Posted by patrick92 on 13 October 2013 - 09:41 PM

Day 68:

 

Haven't posted in a while because nothing has really changed over the past couple of weeks.

 

My chin is still doing well. It has remained clear apart from one small pimple on the corner of my mouth and the little bit of hyper pigmentation there is also nearly completely gone.

 

My forehead is still being difficult. I thought it had finally started to clear up as I hadn't had an active pimple there for a over a week and all the hyper-pigmentation was starting to fade nicely. Then a few days ago a broke out with 4 new spots around the center of my forehead which are very noticeable and have been constantly bleeding. I really though my forehead would have made a lot more progress by now considering how well my chin had been doing, however it's still better than when I started. I'm going upload more pics but will until I reach the 3 month point in a few weeks time.




#3386912 Relationships And Acne

Posted by patrick92 on 07 October 2013 - 04:15 AM

Hey guys. So I've been struggling with acne since I was 13 years old, and it's always been pretty bad for me. I'm a sophomore in college now and I think I'm really starting to deal with a lot of emotional garbage relating to it. It's mostly stemming from a lot of my friends getting into relationships, and I've never been in a serious relationship myself. That doesn't bother me necessarily, but what does bother me is that I feel like I won't be able to make a guy happy with my acne on my face and back/arms. It's worse on my face than it is on my back or arms, but it's still there. I know that I have a good personality that people like (not being conceited), but I'm afraid that a guy will regret being with me once we start to get intimate, and that scares me. So.. am I alone here or has anyone else dealt with this/conquered it? I'm just really afraid of getting into a relationship and disappointing them, and don't really know what to do about it.

 

I think a lot of people with acne struggle with relationships. I'm similar to you in the sense that I'm in college and have also never had a relationship, but a lot of my friends currently do. It's definitely hard seeing all the happy couples together when your struggling to find someone yourself, but there are still lots of other people our age who have also yet to have a proper relationship. It doesn't make us abnormal or weird and it also doesn't mean we won't eventually find someone.

 

From personal experience, low self esteem often makes you feel unattractive or that you would be a disappointment to the opposite sex, but we are way harder on ourselves than other people are. Chances are there has been someone who's liked you but you haven't noticed or were too scared to do anything about it. Don't let your low self esteem make you afraid of disappointing someone, because if someone was that shallow they aren't worth your time. Speaking as a guy, I don't find girls with acne unattractive at all, and would actually prefer someone with acne as I wouldn't feel so self conscious about my skin around them.




#3383932 Patrick's Retin-A And Doxycycline Log

Posted by patrick92 on 20 September 2013 - 09:52 PM

Day 44

 

More forehead is really starting to annoy me. It doesn't seem to have improved at all since I started treatment, where as my chin has cleared up very nicely (so far).

I wasn't expecting it to be clear yet, but I thought by this stage I might have seen a little bit of improvement :/

 

I am lucky that I haven't had any nasty IB like a lot people using retinoids have had, and since I'm now over 6 weeks in I doubt I will get a bad one at all. Still no dryness, flaking or irritation at all either, and I haven't been sun burnt yet despite spending a lot of time outside lately. If anyone else is thinking about trying a retinoid, at least my experience has shown that not everybody will get bad breakouts or irritation when starting, so don't let that put you off. I still have another 6 weeks before the 3 month mark, so I'm still reasonably confident that this treatment will clear me. I just wish it would do it quicker!

 

I guess I'm just a little frustrated as I'm still extremely self conscious about my skin, and often feel like everybody is staring at my acne (especially girls for some reason but that's probably just a figment of my imagination). I find this often makes me often isolate myself from others some what, which tends to get me down a lot. I'm just looking forward to the day when I feel comfortable in my own skin again, as I have forgotten what that feels like.

Well that's really good that you haven't had an IB or bad dryness etc and that you have seen some improvements smile.png  Hopefully you'll see more soon.

Did you end up finding a good sunscreen?

 

I think more often than not, it's just our minds playing tricks on us - we can't shake the feeling people are staring at our skin because we're so concerned with it ourselves we think everyone else must be noticing it too. But we're our own worst critics (as cliched as it sounds, I think it's true) and I don't think other people really notice it as much as we think they would. And if people are staring it could definitely be for a different and better reason tongue.png You never know

 

I hope we all get to that point soon - where we all feel comfortable in our skin again. In the mean time, do what you can to still get out there (even when it's the last thing you want to do - I think everytime you do that it helps with confidence even just a little) and try and enjoy life. There's no real reason why we can't do that, and we all deserve to enjoy life and be happy. 

Hang in there smile.png

 

Yeh some improvement is definitely better than none. I've kept using the neutrogena dry touch sunscreen for when I'm out cycling, as even though it makes my skin look pale it's so strong I never have to worry about burning with it. For everyday use I actually went and bought that neutrogena spf moisteriser you suggested, which has been really good so far. I'm lucky that I don't burn that easily though so I don't use sunscreen everyday (probably should anyway though I'm just too lazy sometimes tongue.png).

 

It's so true though, we are our own worse critics. Even though people may look at us and notice the acne, they probably couldn't care less. I don't find other people with acne unattractive and I often feel more comfortable around people that don't have clear skin. I know it's not an attractive trait to have, but I've seen plenty of people with acne who are still really really good looking. Staring was probably too  stronger word to use. It's more like a longish glance when people walk past or sometimes I may inadvertently catch someone looking at me in class for some reason. Just little looks that make you feel I little uncomfortable or more self conscious if you know what I mean. Then again my low self esteem is probably just making sound like a crazy paranoid person haha. I'm sure people aren't looking for other better reasons, but it's a nice thought (dreams are free though right tongue.png).

 

I hope we are all getting close to that point too. It is so important to keep active as whenever I occasionally cave and hide away I always feel worse in the long-run.

And your right, we do all deserve to enjoy life and be happy so I hope your skin is continuing to improve and that your still gaining confidence smile.png




#3383745 Please Help With Emotional Damage

Posted by patrick92 on 20 September 2013 - 01:50 AM

Hi,
I am having trouble dealing with the emotional pain

Well you not alone, that's for sure. Acne is often emotionally draining but lots of us on here suffer with low self esteem and various anxieties caused by our acne, so there are plenty of people who know how you feel (myself included). I find these forums are great not just for researching potential treatments, but also for venting your frustration and connecting with others who have similar experiences/problems. 

Anyway I'm sure you'll find lots of support on here.




#3383053 Impossible To Date With Bad Acne

Posted by patrick92 on 16 September 2013 - 11:04 PM

Okay, it is a lot harder to find a someone when you have acne but it's definitely NOT impossible. Probably you'll encounter more girls that don't want to date you but occasionally, if you put yourself out there, there are girls that just don't care about your acne. Seriously, a guy I met last summer had BAAAD acne, cystic acne all over his face and neck and bad scars. He didn't seem to care one bit about it. When he introduced me to his girlfriend I was stunned. She was absolutely smoking hot, intelligent, had flawless skin, and really niced. It wasn't even that he was succesful, I believe he worked in retail. He was just really confident and all his friends seemed to love him and enjoy his company. And to be honest, he wasn't really attractive even if he didn't have acne, just confident and fun to be around

 

You've probably had it up to here with these stories of succes but I can't stand these absolute statements. I agree acne makes dating a lot harder for guys/girls, but it's definitely not impossible. If you play your cards right, be more confident, you might even find a really beautiful girl that loves you.

Couldn't agree with you more. It's definitely much harder to find someone willing to date you when you have acne, but not impossible. Personally I've yet to meet anyone who's found me attractive, but I'm also the first to admit that my low self esteem certainly doesn't do me any favors. I have come across a few people like the guy you mentioned, and I have always really admired how they are able to just live life without letting their acne get to them. I'm often annoyed that I can't let myself do the same.




#3382475 Time To Start The Regimen

Posted by patrick92 on 14 September 2013 - 05:24 AM

Crongrats on getting the job. It's nice when things just seem to fall into place like that, and it's even better once you get your first pay check!




#3382270 Impossible To Date With Bad Acne

Posted by patrick92 on 13 September 2013 - 02:03 AM

I too have found it impossible to date and have never had any girl show any interest in me in at all (as far as I know). In the past I have blamed this entirely on me being ugly because of acne, though now I can see that it's actually mainly due to me using isolation as a defense mechanism against possible rejection or embarrassment. The fact is I have always been too self conscious / down on myself to even dare starting a conversation with a girl, let alone getting to know them and asking them out. Anytime I've had a crush on someone, I've talked myself out of approaching them with negative thoughts such as.... "she wouldn't want to talk to someone like me" or "she would just be put off by my face" etc etc.

 

Though acne definitely isn't considered attractive, and there will always be people who are too shallow to go out with an acne sufferer, there shouldn't be any reason somebody with acne can't find someone to date/have a relationship with if they put themselves out there. As others have said, nobody is perfect, and there is so much more to good looks than just complexion. It's the damage acne does to your perception of yourself, not the acne itself, that will really hold you back from finding someone in my opinion. I'm trying to not be so hard on myself all the time, but it's easier said than done :/




#3379325 Time To Start The Regimen

Posted by patrick92 on 31 August 2013 - 07:17 PM

I think we all have days like this where we just feel down and frustrated (I had a bad one this week). The lack of a relationship gets me down ALL the time as well, especially when I see other happy couples walking around,so your not alone there. When I'm having a bad day I often think who the hell would find me attractive, which then starts a whole negative commentary in my head. I just remind myself that I'm still young and lots of people my age are single/will be single again/have never had a relationship as well. Everyone is different and we really are still very young, so you shouldn't compare yourself with others or worry about being forever alone (easier said than done, but I actually know ALOT of people who didn't have their 1st relationship till their mid 20's). Sometimes it's easy to look at people that seem to "have it all" and think we don't measure up or are somehow failing because we are different, but really we should just live our own lives and not judge ourselves so harshly. Bedsides when you observe people your often just taking things at face value, so they may not be any happier than us or even have it as good as it seems.

 

I bet you've got heaps going for you, just remind yourself of all the good things you have such as family etc etc and the rest will eventually fall in place. smile.png

 

Thank you for the reply and advice - it does help smile.png

 

The same thing will happen to me where something will trigger a negative cycle of thoughts in my head - and I know it's ridiculous but it happens. 

But you make really good points here that I'm going to try and remember (I am still young and when I see other people / couples I am just seeing it all at face value) and I'm going to work on not comparing myself to others or being so critical of myself. Not sure how I'll do that... positive self-talk / affirmations maybe? tongue.png Worth a try I guess - I don't know but i'll work on it somehow.

 

Thanks again.

 

Your welcome. I know it's hard though... I can't even follow my own advice most of the time, but it's easy to lose your perspective on things like this when your feeling down. It's completely normal to have not had a relationship yet and there are heaps of people our age and much older just like us. Just think of how many happy single people there are for every couple you see!

I'm still working on cutting down on the self criticism and trying to not compare myself to everybody else. Trying to thinking of all the positives about myself/and my life every time I feel that negative commentary start in my head is what I try to do. A small step I know, but I have so many years of acne related low self esteem that it's going to take along time to change my  perspective of myself. Hell even if I woke up with perfectly clear skin tomorrow I still wouldn't be brimming with self confidence!




#3379178 Time To Start The Regimen

Posted by patrick92 on 30 August 2013 - 11:21 PM

Day 60

 

Today was a bit of a roller-coaster in a way. Even though I feel like my skin is going backwards (a few new breakouts and the pores of my nose are 'clogged') I was still feeling ok for most of the day. But then something happened and it all went downhill. For the last half of the day / evening I've been feeling 'down' - feeling ugly and alone and like I have nothing going for me in life. I keep reminding myself that there are good things in my life which I am thankful for and I'm also thankful that my skin has improved - but that's not going to 'fix' completely the 'issues' I have when seeing myself / my self-esteem etc or how I feel about myself. And just having clear skin isn't going to make me 'less alone' - but I hope it will help me be more confident to meet guys... But again - clear skin isn't the 'magic element' in that situation either. Sometimes I just can't shake the feeling that I have nothing going for me in life... And it's made worse when you're surrounded by 'beautiful, happy, clear skinned, in-a-relationship-and-employed people' I guess part of today was just a bad day like we all have from time to time - hoping tomorrow is better, happier. 

 

... actually here's a good thing - my brother can always make me laugh - he just tried and failed miserably at a card trick tongue.png So I'm smiling for the moment. It's the little things that can make all the difference sometimes.

Hope everything is well with you all.

 

I think we all have days like this where we just feel down and frustrated (I had a bad one this week). The lack of a relationship gets me down ALL the time as well, especially when I see other happy couples walking around,so your not alone there. When I'm having a bad day I often think who the hell would find me attractive, which then starts a whole negative commentary in my head. I just remind myself that I'm still young and lots of people my age are single/will be single again/have never had a relationship as well. Everyone is different and we really are still very young, so you shouldn't compare yourself with others or worry about being forever alone (easier said than done, but I actually know ALOT of people who didn't have their 1st relationship till their mid 20's). Sometimes it's easy to look at people that seem to "have it all" and think we don't measure up or are somehow failing because we are different, but really we should just live our own lives and not judge ourselves so harshly. Bedsides when you observe people your often just taking things at face value, so they may not be any happier than us or even have it as good as it seems.

 

I bet you've got heaps going for you, just remind yourself of all the good things you have such as family etc etc and the rest will eventually fall in place. :) 




#3376371 Patrick's Retin-A And Doxycycline Log

Posted by patrick92 on 20 August 2013 - 02:20 AM

I took doxy a couple years ago - it worked well for me while I took it - no side effects that I can recall. I just remember my doctor saying to drink plenty of water with it (a full glass and not just a sip to down the pill) and not to lie down for a while after taking it. Did your doctor mention anything like that? I can't remember what the reason was behind doing that actually.... 

 

And there's a thread somewhere on the site where someone took doxy and has remained clear for months after stopping their course - hopefully that's the case for you too!

 

If you can get the neutrogena oil free SPF15 moisturiser that might be a good thing until you can find a better / stronger SPF/ sunscreen. Something is better than nothing! smile.png I've been using that in the mornings and haven't had a problem with it. The only other sunscreen I found that I liked and didn't seem to break me out was by Hamilton (called Everyday Face I think). I don't know if you can get that in NZ? It was SPF 30 which was great. (Only thing is that it's a matte finish and now my skin is too dry most of the time from the regimen that it feels weird on my skin). Let us know if you do find a good sunscreen!

 

Good to hear it's all going well so far. Hope it continues that way!

Yes my doctor also told me to take doxy with a large glass of water and not to lie down afterwards. According to them doxy can sometimes cause bad indigestion/heartburn, and lying down soon after taking it would increase the chance of this happening. I think taking it with lots of water is just to prevent any stomach irritation. Personally, I'm viewing doxy as more of a short-term fix while I wait for the Tretinoin to kick in properly (and hopefully it will control any IB's as well).

 

Thanks for the sunscreen suggestions, I will look into those. I actually just started using neutrogena dry touch spf 70, but its really thick and leaves your face looking quite pale/washed out. I think it will be good for my cycling, when I'm in the sun for hours at a time, but I'd like to find something a bit lighter.

 

I hope everything is still going well with your skin.