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patrick92

Member Since 17 Aug 2013
Offline Last Active Today, 05:24 AM

#3429955 Lol @ People Who Think "confidence" Gets You A Girlfriend

Posted by patrick92 on 04 May 2014 - 06:39 AM

Oh great another one of these "I'm too ugly/women are so shallow threads" rolleyes.gif

Now this is not meant as an insult but you seem to make a lot of assumptions about what women think despite the fact you've made it very clear that you actually been unable to get to know any very well. Your probably a nice guy in real life, but if your attitude towards yourself in real life is anything like it is on here then I think that's probably the source of your problems with women!!




#3429336 Dating With Acne

Posted by patrick92 on 30 April 2014 - 03:59 AM

I don't get the point of this post.....Are you just trying to make everyone on here feel bad or more self concious about themselves than they already are? 




#3428514 How Do My Fellow Ugly Guys Cope With Being Undesired?

Posted by patrick92 on 25 April 2014 - 03:58 AM

Chemical castration!!!! That is a bit extreme.

I understand the frustration that comes with dating with acne, and I often struggle with my own self esteem, but...... and I don't want to seem harsh or judgemental here..... there always seems to be someone here making completely irrational statements about the opposite sex writing them off because of their appearance, seemingly with the sole intention of arguing with anyone trying to persuade them that actually people aren't that shallow or nasty!

 

Yes, acne can destroy your self-esteem, and yes, that makes it really hard to view yourself as attractive/desirable, but the thing that will actually put other people off is intense negativity and a complete lack of self confidence. If you spend the rest of your life feeling so intensely low and jaded, chances are you really will realise your worst fears and end up alone. Just try and be positive, do the things you enjoy, be friendly, meet new people and eventually your bound to meet someone who likes you just the way you are.




#3407952 Patrick's Retin-A And Doxycycline Log

Posted by patrick92 on 15 January 2014 - 12:28 AM

Awesome that this seems to have worked so well for you smile.png

 

I have questions! When you used the regimen in the past, did you experience bad flaking with that? The flaking with retin a, is it the same / better / worse than the regimen flaking for you?

And here's a potentially tougher one - if you had to imagine wearing makeup while using retin-a, do you think it would be manageable or does the skin become too flaky or peel etc? 

Not expecting an answer with the last question really but thought I'd ask tongue.png Maybe someone who's used retin-a and makeup will stumble across the thread and let me know tongue.png

 

Congrats on clear skin smile.png

 

Thanks :)

Sorry about the late reply...I keep forgetting to check this thread :P

 

When I used the regimen (or any bp treatment for that matter) I always had really really bad flaking - especially when I first started. Sometimes I would leave home thinking I had the dry skin sorted and then I'd look into a mirror after eating lunch or something and my whole chin would just be a giant flaky mess. Not nice and quite embarrassing. Personally with Retin-a I had very little flaking and it seemed to stop fairly quickly. It was so minimal it didn't bother me at all really.

 

Your right that is a harder one to answer :P Well first off you only apply Retin-A at night so your not going to have to apply make up over the top of it unless you went out late at night for some reason. As for the flaking I guess it depends on the person as some might experience more flaking than others but for me personally I had so little flaking I don't think make up would have been a problem at all - especially compared to the flaking from the regimen :P




#3407247 Patrick's Retin-A And Doxycycline Log

Posted by patrick92 on 12 January 2014 - 04:48 AM

I had completely forgotten I was writing this ( not that anyone but me reads it anyway :P) hence the massive gaps between posts.

So now I'm around 5 months into using Retin-a so I should probably sum up the main things I have found/experienced so far.......

1. My skin is now 95% clear. I still get one or  two very small pimples every 2-3 weeks but they fade very very quickly and leave virtually no mark afterwards.

2. When I first started using Retin-A I was also put on a 3 month course of doxy to prevent any initial breakouts. This worked very well as I had no noticeable initial breakout what so ever and haven't in the 2 months I've been off doxy either.

3. It's well known that Retin-A can make your skin more prone to sunburn and possibly even dry/irritated. Personally I haven't noticed any increased sensitivity (even during the current hot summer weather) and I haven't been taking any extra precautions. Occasionally I may wake up with slightly flaky skin but that's the worst irritation I've experienced with Retin-A.

4. It's also well known that Retin-a (and other retinoids) take a long time to start working properly. In my case this has turned out to be very true. In the first 3 months my skin remained pretty much the same - no worse than it had been but not significantly better either. Once I hit month 4 and 5 I really began noticing a change. I was hardly breaking out, my skin tone was nice and even , and hyper-pigmentation was fading faster. I haven't had an active pimple for 3 weeks now and the last one was tiny and faded in 2 days. There were times when I wondered if it was going to work for me but I can honestly say it was worth the wait.

In a couple more weeks I will probably have flawless skin for the first time in 6 years or so. It's taking a bit of getting used to seeing my face with clear skin, but it's safe to say it's a good problem to have. The thing I don't yet know is how long I will have to use it for. Only time will tell but at the moment I'm planning to keep using it as long as possible to avoid going back to my old skin.

If anyone should stumble across this and have any specific questions about using Retin-a feel free to ask.


#3388241 Patrick's Retin-A And Doxycycline Log

Posted by patrick92 on 13 October 2013 - 09:41 PM

Day 68:

 

Haven't posted in a while because nothing has really changed over the past couple of weeks.

 

My chin is still doing well. It has remained clear apart from one small pimple on the corner of my mouth and the little bit of hyper pigmentation there is also nearly completely gone.

 

My forehead is still being difficult. I thought it had finally started to clear up as I hadn't had an active pimple there for a over a week and all the hyper-pigmentation was starting to fade nicely. Then a few days ago a broke out with 4 new spots around the center of my forehead which are very noticeable and have been constantly bleeding. I really though my forehead would have made a lot more progress by now considering how well my chin had been doing, however it's still better than when I started. I'm going upload more pics but will until I reach the 3 month point in a few weeks time.




#3386912 Relationships And Acne

Posted by patrick92 on 07 October 2013 - 04:15 AM

Hey guys. So I've been struggling with acne since I was 13 years old, and it's always been pretty bad for me. I'm a sophomore in college now and I think I'm really starting to deal with a lot of emotional garbage relating to it. It's mostly stemming from a lot of my friends getting into relationships, and I've never been in a serious relationship myself. That doesn't bother me necessarily, but what does bother me is that I feel like I won't be able to make a guy happy with my acne on my face and back/arms. It's worse on my face than it is on my back or arms, but it's still there. I know that I have a good personality that people like (not being conceited), but I'm afraid that a guy will regret being with me once we start to get intimate, and that scares me. So.. am I alone here or has anyone else dealt with this/conquered it? I'm just really afraid of getting into a relationship and disappointing them, and don't really know what to do about it.

 

I think a lot of people with acne struggle with relationships. I'm similar to you in the sense that I'm in college and have also never had a relationship, but a lot of my friends currently do. It's definitely hard seeing all the happy couples together when your struggling to find someone yourself, but there are still lots of other people our age who have also yet to have a proper relationship. It doesn't make us abnormal or weird and it also doesn't mean we won't eventually find someone.

 

From personal experience, low self esteem often makes you feel unattractive or that you would be a disappointment to the opposite sex, but we are way harder on ourselves than other people are. Chances are there has been someone who's liked you but you haven't noticed or were too scared to do anything about it. Don't let your low self esteem make you afraid of disappointing someone, because if someone was that shallow they aren't worth your time. Speaking as a guy, I don't find girls with acne unattractive at all, and would actually prefer someone with acne as I wouldn't feel so self conscious about my skin around them.




#3383932 Patrick's Retin-A And Doxycycline Log

Posted by patrick92 on 20 September 2013 - 09:52 PM

Day 44

 

More forehead is really starting to annoy me. It doesn't seem to have improved at all since I started treatment, where as my chin has cleared up very nicely (so far).

I wasn't expecting it to be clear yet, but I thought by this stage I might have seen a little bit of improvement :/

 

I am lucky that I haven't had any nasty IB like a lot people using retinoids have had, and since I'm now over 6 weeks in I doubt I will get a bad one at all. Still no dryness, flaking or irritation at all either, and I haven't been sun burnt yet despite spending a lot of time outside lately. If anyone else is thinking about trying a retinoid, at least my experience has shown that not everybody will get bad breakouts or irritation when starting, so don't let that put you off. I still have another 6 weeks before the 3 month mark, so I'm still reasonably confident that this treatment will clear me. I just wish it would do it quicker!

 

I guess I'm just a little frustrated as I'm still extremely self conscious about my skin, and often feel like everybody is staring at my acne (especially girls for some reason but that's probably just a figment of my imagination). I find this often makes me often isolate myself from others some what, which tends to get me down a lot. I'm just looking forward to the day when I feel comfortable in my own skin again, as I have forgotten what that feels like.

Well that's really good that you haven't had an IB or bad dryness etc and that you have seen some improvements smile.png  Hopefully you'll see more soon.

Did you end up finding a good sunscreen?

 

I think more often than not, it's just our minds playing tricks on us - we can't shake the feeling people are staring at our skin because we're so concerned with it ourselves we think everyone else must be noticing it too. But we're our own worst critics (as cliched as it sounds, I think it's true) and I don't think other people really notice it as much as we think they would. And if people are staring it could definitely be for a different and better reason tongue.png You never know

 

I hope we all get to that point soon - where we all feel comfortable in our skin again. In the mean time, do what you can to still get out there (even when it's the last thing you want to do - I think everytime you do that it helps with confidence even just a little) and try and enjoy life. There's no real reason why we can't do that, and we all deserve to enjoy life and be happy. 

Hang in there smile.png

 

Yeh some improvement is definitely better than none. I've kept using the neutrogena dry touch sunscreen for when I'm out cycling, as even though it makes my skin look pale it's so strong I never have to worry about burning with it. For everyday use I actually went and bought that neutrogena spf moisteriser you suggested, which has been really good so far. I'm lucky that I don't burn that easily though so I don't use sunscreen everyday (probably should anyway though I'm just too lazy sometimes tongue.png).

 

It's so true though, we are our own worse critics. Even though people may look at us and notice the acne, they probably couldn't care less. I don't find other people with acne unattractive and I often feel more comfortable around people that don't have clear skin. I know it's not an attractive trait to have, but I've seen plenty of people with acne who are still really really good looking. Staring was probably too  stronger word to use. It's more like a longish glance when people walk past or sometimes I may inadvertently catch someone looking at me in class for some reason. Just little looks that make you feel I little uncomfortable or more self conscious if you know what I mean. Then again my low self esteem is probably just making sound like a crazy paranoid person haha. I'm sure people aren't looking for other better reasons, but it's a nice thought (dreams are free though right tongue.png).

 

I hope we are all getting close to that point too. It is so important to keep active as whenever I occasionally cave and hide away I always feel worse in the long-run.

And your right, we do all deserve to enjoy life and be happy so I hope your skin is continuing to improve and that your still gaining confidence smile.png




#3383745 Please Help With Emotional Damage

Posted by patrick92 on 20 September 2013 - 01:50 AM

Hi,
I am having trouble dealing with the emotional pain

Well you not alone, that's for sure. Acne is often emotionally draining but lots of us on here suffer with low self esteem and various anxieties caused by our acne, so there are plenty of people who know how you feel (myself included). I find these forums are great not just for researching potential treatments, but also for venting your frustration and connecting with others who have similar experiences/problems. 

Anyway I'm sure you'll find lots of support on here.




#3383688 Tips For Sleeping Better

Posted by patrick92 on 19 September 2013 - 03:50 PM

I have the exact same problem. It takes me at least an hour to fall asleep and then I wake up a lot during the night too (20+ times a night when it's bad), and sometimes I just don't sleep. I've actually found the only thing that works 100% are sleeping tablets, which usually knock me out. I only have to take 1/2 a tablet and I sleep all night.

 

I don't like taking them though, so if I've been having a few bad nights I take a herbal tablet called valerian, which helps relax me. It's not as effective as the proper sleeping tablets but I definitely fall asleep quicker. Also lavender on my pillow and a hot water bottle helps!

 

It's so frustrating isn't it! I've been wanting to avoid taking sleeping tablets if I can, as I've heard your body can get used to them if they're taken for a long period of time. That herbal tablet sounds interesting though, so I might give that ago if I can find somewhere to buy it in NZ.

 

I have come a long way over the past several months. It used to take me a couple hours to fall asleep, no matter what time I went to bed. I'd wake up up to a dozen times throughout the night, sometimes for a minute, sometimes for an hour. I'd wake up about 6 or 7 hours after going to bed, wide awake, but then be tired all day. Here's how I fixed it:

 

-Try to base your sleep schedule around the rising and setting of the sun as much as possible. I wake up at before 8 am and go to bed between 10 and 11 pm. Close enough for me.

-Put a dark curtain over any windows in your room. This made a huge difference. Also unplug or cover up any small lights from electronics. I just switch off the power bar that controls most of the things with little lights on 'em.

-Wear earplugs if you're a light sleeper or noise bothers you.

-Start winding down a couple hours before you want to go to bed. Turn off computer and tv screens, turn the lights off or down, just try to relax. Read a book.

-Don't eat anything after dinner if you can help it. Certainly not any sooner than 3 hours before bed.

 

I now fall asleep within 10-15 minutes of laying down and only wake up once or twice during the night and it's very brief, I barely remember in the morning. I get 8-10 hours of sleep and have energy most of the day.

 

Good luck!

 

Wow, that's a massive improvement just from making some easy changes to your nightly routine. I have read about something called "sleep hygiene", which makes similar suggestions as you, but I was skeptical as to whether they would work. Now I've seen that it has worked for you, I'm definitely going to try out all of your suggestions.

 

I'm always in front of the tv or computer right up until I go to bed, I snack throughout the evening, and don't have a consistent sleep/waking time, so there's a lot I need to improve on haha.

 

i take melatonin every night but the trick is to take it about 2 hours or more before bed. it works for me every single time but i have to take it around 9:30 to go to bed at 11:30. 

 

I generally take it around dinner time, but I don't have a consistent bed time so maybe that doesn't help. My mum takes melatonin as well and it seems to work well for her. Maybe it just isn't as effective for me for some reason.

 

You need bright light exposure and to consume the nutrients needed to make seratonin during the day. Start dimming lights after sunset. Don't look at LED screens, but if you must get an app that removes the blue light like f.lux for pc. There isn't one for ipad, so if that's what you have, you need to get orange glasses.

Avoid caffeine, especially from afternoon onward. That includes the painkillers with caffeine. You might not think they are affecting you, but they could be waking yo u up. It happened to me.

Sleep in total darkness and don't turn on lights during te night. Get a night light with an orange bulb if you must for the bathroom.

 

I didn't know different shades could affect you like that. I'll see if I can get that app for my computer tonight.

I don't consume anything with caffeine in it so that won't be a problem for me at least.




#3383615 Has Anyone Else Got To The Stage Of Not Leaving The House?

Posted by patrick92 on 19 September 2013 - 04:47 AM

Ok so I've had moderate acne for the past 8 or so years (started at 13, now 21) and during that time I've become increasingly introverted and nervous around people. I've always avoided big social situations as much as possible but I did actually have some sort of social life (albeit quite a restricted one) until quite recently with the help of the wondrous invention of foundation.

However, in the past few months I've developed severe cystic acne which can no longer be successfully covered up by make-up and, with the exception of my graduation ceremony last week, I haven't actually left the house in about 2 months. My friends keep texting and calling asking me to go out and do things with people but I literally feel like a monster even with a tonne of foundation on because it just doesn't cover up these huge cysts any more. Obviously I'm on various treatments and trying everything I possibly can to improve my skin but it all works so slowly and in the meantime it's just painful, swollen and ugly every minute of the day and I'm too embarrassed to even contemplate showing my face to the outside world. What a sad and sorry existence indeed! It feels like it will never end and I'm so incredibly bored and miserable!!!

Does anyone else have this issue? How on earth are you supposed to get around it and have anything resembling a normal life? And does anyone know of anything that can make these massive deep cysts hurt any less and/or reduce their size? 

Sorry for the long rant I just needed to vent to somebody who might actually understand why I feel like this. Any advice would be seriously appreciated! 

 

I know exactly what you mean. I've always been quiet and have never been a social butterfly, but since I've had acne I've slowly gotten more and more reclusive. I've gone from a normal social life, to a very boring life with very few friends at all. This is all down to me isolating myself as a defense mechanism, which I think is quite a common behavior for acne suffers. I think it's a matter of just letting go and accepting the fact that, yes we have acne, but other people don't actually care and still want to spend time with us. It's really hard to do, but it's something I've been forcing myself to do lately. At least then I feel as though I'm making a positive step towards the life I really want, instead of just hiding away from people.

I've had similar things with my mum where she'll come home and say something to me like 'Today I saw a girl / guy who had bad skin too' - as if reassuring me that other people have issues with their skin but still manage to be confident and outgoing all the time. She probably doesn't realise but the first thing I get from hearing that is that people see my skin as being bad.

Sometimes it's worse when she comments on seeing a really pretty/attractive person and she'll go on about how nice their skin / hair / eyes / height whatever were. And then it makes me aware of how easily she can comment on another persons good looks but I can't recall her telling me I looked nice or anything like that... (I don't need her to say that sort of thing it's just that I'm suddenly aware of that when this sort of topic comes up).

I don't know... I tend to over think most things but hearing all that sort of thing just sets in my mind even more that appearance really does matter, as much as people try and say it doesn't. I guess when it comes to knowing a person and connecting with a person, appearance doesn't matter so much but I think everyone, without realising or meaning to, judges or forms an opinion of a person in the first few seconds of seeing them... so having 'bad skin' and not being 'pretty' must really impact on that...

But then again, confidence does change everything. If I could manage to be more confident (and it's slowly becoming a little easier as my skin starts to improve) I'm sure a lot of things could be better.

 

My dad is pretty good though when it comes to this sort of thing. I don't think he has any idea of how my skin has effected me but at the same time seems to know it's something I don't want attention brought to and so never comments on my skin unless I've been the one to bring it up. 

 

And like syllacrostics said, I hope that I can leave these anxieties etc that I've developed behind me one day! I've heard that mothers in particular can cause/contribute to body image / self confidence issues in their children / daughters by being concerned with their own appearance or making comments about their own weight etc - and if I were to ever have children, I'd hate for them to go through the same or worse image issues I have, especially if I had 'caused' it to happen to them. I'd want my kids to be happy and confident and love themselves! But good thing I don't plan on kids any time soon - I would not be a good 'role model' for that sort of thing at this point tongue.png

 

Your Mum sounds a lot like mine haha. She always means well (and I love her dearly) but sometimes I think she fails to realise how much my acne gets me down. She will often comment on how my skin is looking a bit worse, from the view point of a concerned mum, but she forgets this is just reminding me of the problem. It's not like I hadn't already noticed!! I've also noticed for a long time that whenever we go out somewhere as a family, she always tells my brother (who has perfect skin) that he is looking good but I never, ever get a compliment. 

 

It does make you wonder what other people think about your appearance. I really don't consider myself to be attractive at all, so I know I always come across as very shy (especially around girls).  But if I had more confidence, then even if people didn't find me physically attractive, there would be more of a chance they'd be attracted to me because of my personality. I know there will always be shallow people, but most probably couldn't care less that we have acne. Hopefully one day soon we will all have nice clear skin, and can go back to just simply being ourselves. One thing is for sure, when I have children (hopefully I can find someone willing to have them with me hahaha) I will do everything I can to ensure they have good self esteem and don't go through what many of us have. It's just not fun.

 

 

It did happened to me when i was probably like 15 or 16 years old. I would just sit on my bed and cry, cry and cry all day. Saying to myself how miserable my life is and that is so unfair that i can´t enjoy life like others. But that was in the past baby, now i still have acne, but i still don´t give a crap. Today i wore my best outfit, high heels, my wild curly hair and i went outside (i had to pick up my mom from my sister´s house) everybody where staring at me, guys and girls, but not staring at me because of my skin but because how confident i looked. Some girls gave me dirty looks of jealousy, other girls said things to me like ´´how pretty you are´´ (yes some of this girls where lesbians) and guys just couldn´t take their eyes out of me. But it´s not because i think i´m pretty or anything like that. Is because there are days that i just don´t care what others can say about my acne, if i feel pretty inside and out am not gonna let anyone put me down. And believe me, when you show confidence in yourself that´s all people are going to see. But if you go feeling all crap believe me you can be the target for bullies. It all depends on how you look at yourself in the mirror. Oh and i forgot to say that i went outside with no makeup, like no foundation just mascara and lipstick that´s it. And i can tell you that i never felt so beautiful before like i did today smile.png

 

I admire your attitude, and you made me laugh. I wish I could go out and be confident like that.




#3383053 Impossible To Date With Bad Acne

Posted by patrick92 on 16 September 2013 - 11:04 PM

Okay, it is a lot harder to find a someone when you have acne but it's definitely NOT impossible. Probably you'll encounter more girls that don't want to date you but occasionally, if you put yourself out there, there are girls that just don't care about your acne. Seriously, a guy I met last summer had BAAAD acne, cystic acne all over his face and neck and bad scars. He didn't seem to care one bit about it. When he introduced me to his girlfriend I was stunned. She was absolutely smoking hot, intelligent, had flawless skin, and really niced. It wasn't even that he was succesful, I believe he worked in retail. He was just really confident and all his friends seemed to love him and enjoy his company. And to be honest, he wasn't really attractive even if he didn't have acne, just confident and fun to be around

 

You've probably had it up to here with these stories of succes but I can't stand these absolute statements. I agree acne makes dating a lot harder for guys/girls, but it's definitely not impossible. If you play your cards right, be more confident, you might even find a really beautiful girl that loves you.

Couldn't agree with you more. It's definitely much harder to find someone willing to date you when you have acne, but not impossible. Personally I've yet to meet anyone who's found me attractive, but I'm also the first to admit that my low self esteem certainly doesn't do me any favors. I have come across a few people like the guy you mentioned, and I have always really admired how they are able to just live life without letting their acne get to them. I'm often annoyed that I can't let myself do the same.




#3382829 I'm Not Worthy Of Being In A Relationship?

Posted by patrick92 on 15 September 2013 - 08:07 PM

During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne.  I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships.  For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one.  And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people.  I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires.  Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:

 

You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time.  But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility.  Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.

 

Do you pursue this relationship?

 

Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right?  Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.'  I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor.  I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not.  I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive.  Maybe I'm too proud.  Perhaps I'm too superficial.  I don't know.  But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not.  It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better.  Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship.  Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself.  Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy.  In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.

 

Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.

 

I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.

UnacceptedRealist, I agree with you that acne does not make someone unattractive, but it can make an impact on how you think of yourself. If you've suffered with severe acne, it can make you feel like you are less attractive even if you aren't. Acne can't change your bone structure or your eye color or anything like that. I'm sure you are more attractive than you think you are. You should try and pay attention to other things about yourself than your acne. I used to feel the exact same way about people that liked me, I would always wonder "what is so special about me, I have acne, why would they possibly like me?" But, you have to realize people don't just like others for their faces. You may have an incredible personality, a cute face, and some acne can't change that. 

I agree with SunnySarah that it's the damage acne does to your self esteem that really holds you back from relationships, not the acne itself. Until not long ago I always thought that I was just too ugly to attract anyone, but really I'm just so lacking in confidence I would never even dare to approach a girl at all. Acne puts all kinds of negative thoughts about my appearance in my head which always manage to make me chicken out of approaching someone I like. Instead I'm left to admire pathetically from a safe distance (not in a stalkerish way haha). Although I'm definitely not attractive and doubt there have been any girls who knew I even existed, things might be different had pushed through my fear of rejection and approached some of them. Protecting yourself by holding back will never work IMO. But this is just what I feel has held me back personally. Others may have a different experience.




#3382475 Time To Start The Regimen

Posted by patrick92 on 14 September 2013 - 05:24 AM

Crongrats on getting the job. It's nice when things just seem to fall into place like that, and it's even better once you get your first pay check!




#3382270 Impossible To Date With Bad Acne

Posted by patrick92 on 13 September 2013 - 02:03 AM

I too have found it impossible to date and have never had any girl show any interest in me in at all (as far as I know). In the past I have blamed this entirely on me being ugly because of acne, though now I can see that it's actually mainly due to me using isolation as a defense mechanism against possible rejection or embarrassment. The fact is I have always been too self conscious / down on myself to even dare starting a conversation with a girl, let alone getting to know them and asking them out. Anytime I've had a crush on someone, I've talked myself out of approaching them with negative thoughts such as.... "she wouldn't want to talk to someone like me" or "she would just be put off by my face" etc etc.

 

Though acne definitely isn't considered attractive, and there will always be people who are too shallow to go out with an acne sufferer, there shouldn't be any reason somebody with acne can't find someone to date/have a relationship with if they put themselves out there. As others have said, nobody is perfect, and there is so much more to good looks than just complexion. It's the damage acne does to your perception of yourself, not the acne itself, that will really hold you back from finding someone in my opinion. I'm trying to not be so hard on myself all the time, but it's easier said than done :/