Okay, I guess I lied about my last post being my last post.
This weekend I went to New York with my girlfriend to visit my bestfriend that I mentioned several times in my last post on this forum. We have been planning to move to New York for years and we would all live together. My friend moved out there a few months ago, and has found some new friends and a new girlfriend. I was some what nervous to meet his new girlfriend because, I know what my face looks like. I sometimes feel that I cannot be taken seriously with this mess on my cheeks. I try very hard to make eye contact and have conversations just like I see other people do. I have never been all that personable, but I think people used to always just think I was shy. Anyways, my friend has been dating this girl for like three weeks now? He is such a sucker for the "honeymoon phase." He gets really attached to things really fast. (Honestly, I wouldn't normally divulge this much information about all of this personal shit, but I feel like I having been a ridiculously good friend to him, and he has kind of, quite honestly, treated me like shit. So, for right now, fuck him.) He also really loves the idea of this "big city" persona that he has built up over the past few months, like he is so fucking cool because he knows what the stops are on the "red line" (shoot me.) Holy crap, I really just typed that. Whatever, I'm neck deep in it now. Okay, so, he doesn't really come out and say it, but he thinks and acts like he is better than me. We used to be on the same page about everything. We were working on a full length conceptual album for the past three years, along with tons of other projects. Before I had acne, he would always tell me that he was jealous of me, because of my musical and artistic abilities (I promise you, I don't think this highly of myself, but he did.) But ever since I have had this terrible issue, he has treated me like a retarded little brother. He acts like I am immature or stupid, when he makes the same types of jokes. He calls me "painfully awkward" when his idea of "picking up a girl" is yelling in an attractive waitresses face about a made up party, to try to get her number.
My girlfriend and I stayed at his girlfriend's apartment with the two of them over the weekend, and like I am sure most of you understand, I take a while in the restroom to wash and slather my skin with pimple cream (aka Differin and Cetaphil Moisturizer in the PM and Clindamycin and Benzoyl Peroxide and Cetaphil Moisturizer in the AM) But, I guess that even though I have had many talks with this douche in the past about this very subject, and how sensitive I am about it, he doesn't have any sympathy for me, all he cares about his how "in love" he is with his new girlfriend! (Hahaha, I sound like a jealous ex. Oh God.) He acted like I was such a pain in the morning, for having to go to the bathroom and do all of this embarrassing shit, he was being so impatient. He just gets these stupid pissed off looks on his face. I was trying to hide all of my face products in a t-shirt and when I was about to go use them all, I said "I need to fix my hair." Because my hair was sticking straight up. I knew that he knew that I was going to do shit to my face, and that it takes a while. He says "Do you need to use all of the stuff in that bag?" with a pissy little bitch look on his face. (Sorry for the added angry flavor. This shit has just been brewing in me for a while, and he never wants to talk about the obvious passive aggression in our friendship. So, I am just full on slapping it on the damn internet. Fuck yeah.) And so I said, "I was going to wash my face and fix my hair." He looked really annoyed and said "Okay." So I tried to reassure him that I wouldn't take long, so that I wouldn't waste any of his precious, perfect-skinned time with his new fucking girlfriend in his beautiful big city life. Damn, I am just really hurt by the way that he treats me. He is such a condescending twat. I have never been anything but a loyal friend to him. I have always had his back through anything that he has gone through, and I have always tried to work things out with him in a mature, civil manner. I don't know why he feels the need to make me feel inferior, with his looks and the subtle things he says. It's just weird how we were always on the same level on everything, and now he acts like I am an annoying little kid who says stupid things for attention. Fuck him for making me feel like that. This passive aggressive stuff has gotten way out of hand, it's gone from verbal statements to confrontations to subliminal attacks! Is this even a friendship anymore? Has anyone else ever experienced this sort of thing? I am curious to know others thoughts. It really bothers me that I went there to have a good time, which I really did, but I left feeling like I lost my best friend to a lot of petty bullshit (Even though it seemed like we left on good terms, and there were directly harsh words about anything.) Acne has fucked up a lot of things for me, but was he just a shitty friend in the first place? I cannot tell! I always looked at him as an extremely trustworthy, loyal friend, but my opinion of him has changed entirely. This is a really devastating thing for me. Sorry to rant like a goddamn lunatic, but I have nowhere else to go with all of this stuff. And I don't want to talk shit about him to my girlfriend or someone in my family, because I don't want them to think less of him, they all love him. They all kind of know how he can be though, they get annoyed too. But I just don't know what to do. I feel insignificant anymore. I feel like my opinions don't matter (and I have a lot of them) I feel like no matter what I do, the only thing that truly persists is my acne. I haven't even felt bad about it for a long time! My best friend just made me feel like this, and he doesn't even know it. I don't know if this even fits into the topic of this forum, now that I think about it. I should just write a book or something.
Oh dear, I used to have a friend who was EXACTLY like him (used to...because we're not friends anymore...go figure)! I saw myself in your story. LOL it's like reading into my diary from my high school days
The annoyed bitchy pissed-off looks, I hated that too...I remember she would give me silent treatments for no reason and that would hurt me a lot
I dunno how I stuck for so long with her, I guess, like you, I am just too nice..