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Stella the diver

Member Since 10 Apr 2013
Offline Last Active Sep 25 2014 09:05 PM

#3417123 Meanest thing that someone has said about your acne

Posted by Stella the diver on 27 February 2014 - 05:26 PM

Okay, I guess I lied about my last post being my last post.


This weekend I went to New York with my girlfriend to visit my bestfriend that I mentioned several times in my last post on this forum. We have been planning to move to New York for years and we would all live together. My friend moved out there a few months ago, and has found some new friends and a new girlfriend. I was some what nervous to meet his new girlfriend because, I know what my face looks like. I sometimes feel that I cannot be taken seriously with this mess on my cheeks. I try very hard to make eye contact and have conversations just like I see other people do. I have never been all that personable, but I think people used to always just think I was shy. Anyways, my friend has been dating this girl for like three weeks now? He is such a sucker for the "honeymoon phase." He gets really attached to things really fast. (Honestly, I wouldn't normally divulge this much information about all of this personal shit, but I feel like I having been a ridiculously good friend to him, and he has kind of, quite honestly, treated me like shit. So, for right now, fuck him.) He also really loves the idea of this "big city" persona that he has built up over the past few months, like he is so fucking cool because he knows what the stops are on the "red line" (shoot me.) Holy crap, I really just typed that. Whatever, I'm neck deep in it now. Okay, so, he doesn't really come out and say it, but he thinks and acts like he is better than me. We used to be on the same page about everything. We were working on a full length conceptual album for the past three years, along with tons of other projects. Before I had acne, he would always tell me that he was jealous of me, because of my musical and artistic abilities (I promise you, I don't think this highly of myself, but he did.) But ever since I have had this terrible issue, he has treated me like a retarded little brother. He acts like I am immature or stupid, when he makes the same types of jokes. He calls me "painfully awkward" when his idea of "picking up a girl" is yelling in an attractive waitresses face about a made up party, to try to get her number.


My girlfriend and I stayed at his girlfriend's apartment with the two of them over the weekend, and like I am sure most of you understand, I take a while in the restroom to wash and slather my skin with pimple cream (aka Differin and Cetaphil Moisturizer in the PM and Clindamycin and Benzoyl Peroxide and Cetaphil Moisturizer in the AM) But, I guess that even though I have had many talks with this douche in the past about this very subject, and how sensitive I am about it, he doesn't have any sympathy for me, all he cares about his how "in love" he is with his new girlfriend! (Hahaha, I sound like a jealous ex. Oh God.) He acted like I was such a pain in the morning, for having to go to the bathroom and do all of this embarrassing shit, he was being so impatient. He just gets these stupid pissed off looks on his face. I was trying to hide all of my face products in a t-shirt and when I was about to go use them all, I said "I need to fix my hair." Because my hair was sticking straight up. I knew that he knew  that I was going to do shit to my face, and that it takes a while. He says "Do you need to use all of the stuff in that bag?" with a pissy little bitch look on his face. (Sorry for the added angry flavor. This shit has just been brewing in me for a while, and he never wants to talk about the obvious passive aggression in our friendship. So, I am just full on slapping it on the damn internet. Fuck yeah.) And so I said, "I was going to wash my face and fix my hair." He looked really annoyed and said "Okay." So I tried to reassure him that I wouldn't take long, so that I wouldn't waste any of his precious, perfect-skinned time with his new fucking girlfriend in his beautiful big city life. Damn, I am just really hurt by the way that he treats me. He is such a condescending twat. I have never been anything but a loyal friend to him. I have always had his back through anything that he has gone through, and I have always tried to work things out with him in a mature, civil manner. I don't know why he feels the need to make me feel inferior, with his looks and the subtle things he says. It's just weird how we were always on the same level on everything, and now he acts like I am an annoying little kid who says stupid things for attention. Fuck him for making me feel like that. This passive aggressive stuff has gotten way out of hand, it's gone from verbal statements to confrontations to subliminal attacks! Is this even a friendship anymore? Has anyone else ever experienced this sort of thing? I am curious to know others thoughts. It really bothers me that I went there to have a good time, which I really did, but I left feeling like I lost my best friend to a lot of petty bullshit (Even though it seemed like we left on good terms, and there were directly harsh words about anything.) Acne has fucked up a lot of things for me, but was he just a shitty friend in the first place? I cannot tell! I always looked at him as an extremely trustworthy, loyal friend, but my opinion of him has changed entirely. This is a really devastating thing for me. Sorry to rant like a goddamn lunatic, but I have nowhere else to go with all of this stuff. And I don't want to talk shit about him to my girlfriend or someone in my family, because I don't want them to think less of him, they all love him. They all kind of know how he can be though, they get annoyed too. But I just don't know what to do. I feel insignificant anymore. I feel like my opinions don't matter (and I have a lot of them) I feel like no matter what I do, the only thing that truly persists is my acne. I haven't even felt bad about it for a long time! My best friend just made me feel like this, and he doesn't even know it. I don't know if this even fits into the topic of this forum, now that I think about it. I should just write a book or something.


Oh dear, I used to have a friend who was EXACTLY like him (used to...because we're not friends anymore...go figure)! I saw myself in your story.  LOL it's like reading into my diary from my high school days 

The annoyed bitchy pissed-off looks, I hated that too...I remember she would give me silent treatments for no reason and that would hurt me a lot sad.png

I dunno how I stuck for so long with her, I guess, like you,  I am just too nice..

#3404297 Do You Use Makeup To Cover Acne

Posted by Stella the diver on 30 December 2013 - 01:43 AM

I have learnt that it's how you use make up to hide your acne. You have to find the product that is right for your skin which is the hardest part. You can get coverage for the acne but if your makeup cakes up or your dry acne and patches show through and your face looks blotchy then that's when the make up has not worked for you and that's when narrow minded people tend to talk.

For guys it is slowly getting better as Asia is slowly paving the way for men to wear makeup in public.


Yes, while it's socially acceptable for women to wear makeup, I still find it hard myself to wear makeup and I'm a woman! It's because with acne and scars and the horrible skin texture, it's so much harder for me to achieve a perfect face :( 

no, not even a perfect face, just a "normal" face....

#3389717 Feeling Ugly Because Of My Skin

Posted by Stella the diver on 20 October 2013 - 01:33 PM

Focus on what other physical attributes you like about yourself and make the most out of it! whether it's your hair, eyes, lips, legs, whatever, just like Lilly75 said! I like my hair, so I would play with it and try new hairstyles and it just makes me feel pretty again, even if my skin is shitty, at least I have some good features I can fall back on. 

#3386844 you know its bad when..

Posted by Stella the diver on 06 October 2013 - 06:49 PM

8-9 times a day...that's an understatement  in my case  :/ 

#3386843 Acne, Emotions And Memes

Posted by Stella the diver on 06 October 2013 - 06:46 PM

I think it's a great idea. 




Inspired by a personal experience 

#3363221 Feeling Down Because My Acne Is Back

Posted by Stella the diver on 01 July 2013 - 10:41 PM

I have been back on Duac for almost a year, but in the last three weeks its slowly stopped working and my skin is like it was before treatment. I get huge pimples (or cysts?) on my cheeks, they are so big and swollen all around, they're so obvious even make-up doesn't do much. I am 25 and turning 26 later this year, so I really don't think I should be getting acne anymore. Is it possibly hormone related? My skin is just so unbelievably oily, I can't do much with it tbh. I don't know if I can be bothered going to the doctor, it takes an age to get an appointment and they often fob me off to the nurse, who never seems to know what she is doing (she once misdiagnosed a fungal nail infection on my fingernail, saying it was nothing, so I left it and it spread to another nail. she didn't know what to do!) I suppose I could try following the regime on this website, as I really have nothing left to lose now that I have tried every acne prescription product out there (according to my doctor, I've had them all over the years). I was offered Roaccutane, but I've heard too many horror stories, some of which are posted on here!


Some really stubborn cases of acne can persist throughought a life time, there is no age limit. Though most people do grow out of it, it can remain treatment resistant for quite a few unlucky people. And all acne is hormonal, but that doesn't mean "imbalance". It is essentially a hormonal disease.

>>>>Don't be discouraged!! Yikes, I've read a lot of nasty things about Accutane! It's  the last resort, when you really have tried a lot of things that don't work. I've always had oily skin, too. I hope it will go away ... :/  Have you tried a diet approach? Some people are more prone to break out when consuming certain foods! 


Why is there always the assumption that all people with acne eat an unhealthy diet?


And a particular "food allergy" being responsible years of severe ongoing acne is very unlikely. Food allergies encourage inflammation, they do not directly cause acne at all, they would only be a small "aggravator" if anything.



If you read again what I wrote, I never assumed she had an unhealthy diet...just trying to help... o.o

#3361341 I Don't Want To Go Swimming

Posted by Stella the diver on 24 June 2013 - 11:25 PM

This happened to me this weekend! My friend invited me to go swim but I was so hesitant about it because of the acne scars on my back! Imagine having to cover that up! The night before, I even tried to conceal them with a heavy duty concealer to see if it wouldn''t look weird, but they ended up looking worse and orange to my great dismay :( I knew that if I didn't go swim, I would have a shitty day just staying home by myself when I could have gone out and have fun! Just think to yourself that you'll have fun at the water park, I think you'll be more uncomfortable wearing makeup than not wearing it because it would get wiped off easily by the water (unless you are  very extra careful about it, to the extent that you don't have fun,  that would be bothersome, wouldn't it?). I was still super self-conscious about my back, like I would always put a towel around me or I would go in the pool after my friends so that they don't see my back, I would crouch low in the pool so that my back is hidden in the water....


I totally understand you about wearing makeup everyday and being dependant on it. I was like that for a about a year. I felt that once I stopped wearing it, I felt more free and careless. Makeup was an additional thing to worry about (keeping it from smudging, melting, greasy,etc.). Now I only reserve it for special occasions or whenever I have some place to go out to. Maybe you should start slowly, like instead of wearing makeup every day, wear it where you would feel more uncomfortable (perhaps school, work...) and don't wear it where you feel more comfortable, where you feel people won't judge you (like at a friend's house).

#3353281 Tired Of Feeling This Way :(

Posted by Stella the diver on 29 May 2013 - 09:13 PM

I feel the same way.  Both my best friends have boyfriends, and they seem to attract more guys than me. or maybe that's all in my head. Acne really does fuck up my mind. Sometimes I feel kinda dumb being a third wheeler, but eh..at least I got my cat and a lot of  other things to keep me occupied, like learning to cook, and finding other cool hobbies,become a better person and work on my self-esteem...but sometimes, I do feel lonely and I'd like to share these interests with a significant other. The time will come one day, que sera sera...

#3349311 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by Stella the diver on 17 May 2013 - 02:21 PM

I feel pretty good, today, as my bumps are gradually going away! Yayyy

#3344748 I'm So Tired Of All This; When Will I Get Better?

Posted by Stella the diver on 01 May 2013 - 05:39 AM

You don't need to defend yourself because what you do with your skin, wether it works or not,  isn't their business at all!!! When people pointed I needed to do something with my face, I would always say something like " Well, I'm using this..." and I would feel ashamed of myself afterwards because all the effort I put now seemed meaningless. It just crushes my whole self esteem, really. I haven't had people pointing my skin out recently, but next time someone does, I'll tell them to go fuck themselves! No, not really, lol, 'cause I'm a nice person.

#3344551 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by Stella the diver on 30 April 2013 - 08:28 PM

Bummed because when I thought that my skin was somewhat improving , I suddenly get breakouts (little bumps) on both my cheeks, and like three big ones that are going to hurt. My forehead is usuallly clear but now there's two pimples? :/ The hell. Why has mother nature decided to fuck with me today. Speaking of stress, it's finals week, so maybe that played into it. 

#3342836 Hard Painless Lump Post-Cyst?

Posted by Stella the diver on 23 April 2013 - 06:51 PM

YES! I get those from time to time and they're really annoying as fuck!!  I still have a couple of them around my jawline.I had one on my chin and the swelling, pain and redness came back and "became" a cyst again. Eventually, it "ripened" and all the pus came out and now it has flattened a lot. It's still red, though, but I guess that will fade after.