I know how it feels. I used to be a good student with good grades and a good athlete too. I had acne since i was 16 and it has been like 4 years now. and boy it changed my life, completely. It doesn't help when most of my friends have porcelain-like skin and model-like legs and pretty smiles and perfect teeth. I know how people would say "you're beautiful, no matter how you look. don't let acne bring you down" but I find that a serious bullshit. I mean try being me for a day. I have been suffering for years and never once I feel pretty and satisfied with my face whenever I look into the mirror. the only time I look better when looking into the mrror is when I don't have my specs on. But BAAM it will look terrible when I put it on back. To be honest I really wanted to feel happy and keep thinking of positive thoughts that everything will be okay one day but believe me the past 4 years had been horrible and my skin still have acne and dakjfadgh .
do you know how it feels when you went out with your friends and there will always someone who will try to hit on them and you're just like standing there like an invisible pole (or worse, a wicked ugly witch) ? yup that will slap you across the face. it did to me as somehow that only tells me that I don't look good enough for everyone. I may sound like I wanted the attention but I really was not. I just want my confidence back. sigh let's just hope we will find the cure for it soon okay.
I understand you. The feeling of being ugly. Of not being worthy to be looked upon. Never wanting people to go near you and talk face to face to you. Always, covering your head when someone is near you, very near. Cannot look in the eyes of someone.
I also have glasses. Whenever im gonna check the mirror, i remove my glasses, cause then i can see me without all this cursed acne and scars. I constantly lie to myself, and try to fool myself everyday. Everytime i see those people blessed with good looks, good porcelain skin, good and nice body, very smart, and athletic, i get stabbed by envy. THERE ARE PEOPLE who are smart, good looking, good body, perfect skin, athletic, and rich, in other words PERFECT PEOPLE... I envy them.......
I always ask, what did i do to deserve this.. I never treated people with acne badly. I was kind to everyone. I was honest and religious. But yet, all i got was a curse.
OH MY GOD YES. I actually used to be the girl that guys would hit on and now, they hit on my friend. And though honestly I'm not that interested in guys right now, it still hurts so fucking bad. Like I never realized how nice the attention was. Now I feel so ugly and left out.
And also the thing about the glasses. I can't see well so from far away my face looks so nice and cute and then every step forward it just looks worse and worse. UGh.
It just isn't fair. Acne. Red marks on top of that. Scars on top of THAT. It really is too much for a person to deal with. I feel like my face is being slowly destroyed. It's terrifying and I want to curl up in a ball and cry.
Whenever I talk with my friends, it seems like they always got a new story with boys that hit each week on them or whatever, and I'm listening like ok.. -_- like I hbave nothing to contribute about that subject at all, and they would ask me "So, are YOU seeing anyone...." and I'm like "..No" and I just feel so fucking awful