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ibiza1987

Member Since 25 Mar 2013
Offline Last Active Jul 26 2013 08:22 PM

#3359148 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by ibiza1987 on 18 June 2013 - 04:43 PM

I just got home from the 4 day festival I went to (Bonnaroo! tongue.png )! It was super fun and my face literally became super clear after the first day. I'm not sure why.

 

 

Anyway....I felt so good not worrying about my skin and not looking at it in the mirror intensely for 4 days. It made me think that I need to stop coming to acne.org. I need a break. I'm going to take it off of my bookmarks. I need to stop thinking about it so much. I start eating whole-food vegan tomorrow (I've been a vegetarian for a couple years now), and I'm excited about a new step in my life. My goals are to run a half marathon by next year and to read more books and just be more productive in general. Acne pulls me down and I let it. My life is much more than my face and positivity is so important for my overall happiness. I can't focus on my acne so much anymore. So, maybe I'll be back one day but I must move on for now. Bye ya'll! biggrin.png Good luck with everything! You're all beautiful and deserve to feel that way!

Glad you are feeling much better about yourself, a shame you are leaving the site now though, have really appreciated all your support with regards to telling my husband what I'm going through with acne. Best of luck for the future lovely lady :)




#3359137 Meanest thing that someone has said about your acne

Posted by ibiza1987 on 18 June 2013 - 04:19 PM

being told to kill yourself because you are so ugly isn't just my twisted perception of the world. it actually physically happened to me. a person actually felt like they had the right to tell me that for whatever reason. as if i wasn't human or worthy of anything but death. many other  people have said similar things like that in different variations and again it wasn't me having a negative perception of the world. it actually happened. i have also had to get into physical confrontations with people just to keep some sort of self worth and pride. it is all very tiring.

 

reading other peoples posts and stories here I would have to only assume things aren't better in other peoples neighborhoods. i guess it is basically human nature. it is unfair to some of us. some of you can still skate by in life and be positive which is awesome. good for you! but please excuse us if  some of us get angry.

(((hugs))) Frank*L :(

 

It makes me so sad to hear what you and so many of us have had to put up with from nasty people just because we have a skin condition. 




#3356790 Meanest thing that someone has said about your acne

Posted by ibiza1987 on 10 June 2013 - 06:57 PM

I have had thousands of very cruel comments, some I have written on here, one more that just popped into my head...

 

A guy from work asked me why I bothered wearing eye make up and lip gloss when there were more important things to fix on my face ie. my acne! sad.png

 

Again, people thinking you can effing control it!!! Urgh.

 

 

Girl, I got an update: I was at work today and this kid approaches me and says: "Oh you have something on your neck..." At first I was confused, so I touched the area that he was talking about and realized that he was referring to my acne... I was so mad but I could not lose my temper cause of work (UGHHHH). I am sure he knew it was acne but he had to emphasize it.

Oh my, are you serious? Very sorry to hear you had someone comment today, that's all you need to dampen your spirits huh? PEOPLE!!!! :(




#3354513 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by ibiza1987 on 03 June 2013 - 08:42 AM

Feeling much happier - I TOLD MY HUSBAND ABOUT MY ACNE ON FRIDAY!!!

 

For those of you who don't know, I had hidden my acne condition from him since we met as I was so ashamed, but couldn't hide it much longer and so glad we had the talk. It was difficult for me to open up to him, but his reaction was the best I could have ever hoped for! banana.gif biggrin.png wub.png

 

He said that having acne is perfectly normal and natural, also very common. He said it does not reduce my attractiveness level neither is it a turn off for him! He doesn't think it's a big deal and doesn't bother him at all, he doesn't think I need skin resurfacing but will support me if I choose to go down that road (which I still want to).

 

What a relief though! Now when I'm in a bad mood due to my skin, or feel uncomfortable in social situations I can tell him exactly what's on my mind smile.png

So happy for you Ibiza! Like I said, it's so nice to have someone around you that knows your insecurities so that they can help you move through them. What a wonderful husband you have! Congratulations on overcoming the fear of talking to him-- I've been there and I know how hard it is. smile.png He seems like such a loving and understanding person!

Yes my hubby is lovely and I feel blessed to have him in my life :)

 

Your man sounds wonderful too, and very supportive.

 

It must be hard for them to understand the condition though if they've never had it, although my husband said he suffered pretty bad back and shoulder acne when he was younger but it was for a fairly brief period.

 

How have you been? How is your skin recently? :)




#3354476 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by ibiza1987 on 03 June 2013 - 06:25 AM

Feeling much happier - I TOLD MY HUSBAND ABOUT MY ACNE ON FRIDAY!!!

 

For those of you who don't know, I had hidden my acne condition from him since we met as I was so ashamed, but couldn't hide it much longer and so glad we had the talk. It was difficult for me to open up to him, but his reaction was the best I could have ever hoped for! banana.gif biggrin.png wub.png

 

He said that having acne is perfectly normal and natural, also very common. He said it does not reduce my attractiveness level neither is it a turn off for him! He doesn't think it's a big deal and doesn't bother him at all, he doesn't think I need skin resurfacing but will support me if I choose to go down that road (which I still want to).

 

What a relief though! Now when I'm in a bad mood due to my skin, or feel uncomfortable in social situations I can tell him exactly what's on my mind :)




#3352979 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by ibiza1987 on 29 May 2013 - 05:38 AM

been stressin and broke out with a few. im numb right now its whatever. im tired. tomorrow is another day unfortunately.

 

@ ibiza hey are you ok? if anyone knows about anxiety and depression its me. id bet money im the worst off here when it comes to that. you offered help to me if i needed to talk a while back and the same goes to you. you're posts seem pretty dark lately. you should really talk to your husband and get it out of the way. i guarantee you will feel a million times better. just do it. 

Hi, thanks for being there :)

 

Yeah things get really hard sometimes, if you read the posts on here it is frightening to see that acne makes even the most upbeat bubbly people get depressed. I am feeling a bit better now, although still not spoken to my hubby. Skin has calmed down for now, no new breakouts for two days but those new scars I keep talking about don't look any better. How are you feeling? 




#3351664 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by ibiza1987 on 24 May 2013 - 02:21 PM

 

Sorry I assumed he knew about your acne but it still bothered you and the subject never came up during your marriage. Realistically he probably has noticed and doesnt care. I live with extreme anxiety too so I know that feeling. Opening up to your hubby will take a giant weight off your shoulders and I'm sure he will still love you.

Yes I am hoping so, the anxiety is just too much at the moment and I know deep down that a couple of hours of emotional torture whilst I tell him will be worth it in the long run. Have been with him for nearly four years and have had times during our courtship where my skin has not had any active lesions therefore it has been fairly easy to hide. But since last Christmas I have had RELENTLESS breakouts, my skin is constantly red, looks in shit condition and new scars have appeared therefore it is getting increasingly harder to hide my problem from him hence why I really need to just come clean about it. Hoping with his support I can get some skin resurfacing done, maybe acne on top of smoother skin won't look so bad. But 20 years of this crappy condition has really taken its toll on my skin. Even Accutane didn't work for me, plus my diet is really clean so makes me wonder what's wrong with me. Also the constant bullying from others has been rough.

 

Sorry to hear you have anxiety too, I am here for you if ever you need to vent. 



>> 

 

You have a husband he apparently must love you and you are still not happy?

Due to how my family and people around me have treated me because of my skin, it has left me with feelings of severe shame and anxiety plus depression. My family have all rejected me and used to beat me and tell me I was unlovable amongst other things due to my skin, so my fear is that my husband may react the same when he finds out. I truly think I am repulsive with skin like this. Yes I am grateful that I have a lovely man in my life but here's hoping he will stick by me when he finds out about my skin. The way I've had to live when I'm around him is extremely depressing. I cover my face with my hair, hide from him when I have just showered and also am forced to wear make up all the time for fear he will notice, be disgusted too and potentially reject me. Do you understand what I mean? Just cos I'm married doesn't mean my problems are answered.

 

Wow... you've never been around your husband without makeup? That's kind of amazing, actually. Seems very difficult to pull off. Do you sleep with it on? Or do you sleep in two different rooms?

 

me: Feeling depressed today.

Haha no, of course he's seen me without make up but during breakouts I hide behind my hair and keep my distance from him if it's daylight or the lights are on, am fed up of living like this. I am now 31 though and at times the acne has subsided a bit which makes going bare faced much easier but since Christmas my skin really has been aggressively bad. Another thing, I can't put make up on while he's watching, as I paint my masterpiece and cover my skin spot by spot. Sorry if all this sounds irrational but have been bullied all my life over my skin condition, even by my family. I could write a book of all the one liners said to me about me and my bloody acne. 

 

ibiza,

 

I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years and he has only seen me without makeup twice and I've put my makeup on in front of him once. Don't feel ashamed about this. I turn off all the lights before I go to bed so that when I walk out of the bathroom, he can't see me. When I finally opened up to my boyfriend, he said he knew about my acne but that it didn't bother him a bit. It just made him sad that I cried about it. Today, I'm breaking out a little and I was crying because we're going camping tomorrow and I don't want my acne to ruin my good time. I said "I feel and look so ugly! Please, don't look at me." and he chuckled...which made me sadder and I asked "Man, why are you laughing at me? That's so mean..." and he said "Because you're so beautiful and amazing to me, that I could never NOT look at you." Wow, I just realized what a sweet thing that was to say smile.png haha


 I hope your husband reacts in such a way, which I'm sure he will. Don't worry...it took me 4-5 years to talk about my acne with my boyfriend. It will be okay. Try to be positive, but it's okay to cry. smile.png Good luck

 

Hi again!

 

I had just written out a detailed reply to you, was all set to post then my laptop crashed so I lost it all, dammit! Here's hoping I remember what I wrote...

 

I totally understand about switching the lights off when you're ready for bed, I do exactly the same and occasionally my husband will switch a light back on for something which makes me very anxious and I tell him to switch it off immediately! Or I hide under the covers, whatever is easiest. Hate living this way.

 

But what a lovely story, it is so nice that your boyfriend is so supportive and thinks you're beautiful with or without acne. It is the hardest thing in the world to truly believe that you are still attractive when in the midst of what seems like a massive outbreak. You were brave to open up to him and you must be glad you did. My man is lovely so I know deep down he will be supportive. Last night when I broke down I wouldn't tell him what was wrong but he said to me whatever the problem is to not let it define me, and that he thinks I am absolutely beautiful no matter what. Oh no, hoping he hasn't guessed :(

 

Camping would make me feel uncomfortable because it seems that people expect you to just go bare faced at all times due to being outdoors and dressed down. Also, escaping to take some time out to apply make up in private would be difficult. But you shouldn't worry dear, your boyfriend loves and accepts you for who you are! And I have said before that you really are a stunner! Your skin doesn't even look that bad in your pics without make up (I know it must annoy you to hear that as I think we all probably see our skin much worse than it really is) and with make up your skin honestly looks wonderful! I can't remember whether you said you have any scarring? I have some minor pock marks and also very large open pores so unfortunately my make up never looks good because it all just settles in the holes, urgh :( Hate that people must be thinking how uneven my skin is, and that I could be making more effort to apply make up 'neater' but I am doing the very best I can, and it does hurt when even your best is not enough. 



Oh, forgot to say, enjoy your camping trip Heitea and try not to let your skin get you down when you're away. Remember, you're lovely and your boyfriend knows it! He loves you for who you are and is lucky to have you :)




#3351638 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by ibiza1987 on 24 May 2013 - 12:19 PM

Sorry I assumed he knew about your acne but it still bothered you and the subject never came up during your marriage. Realistically he probably has noticed and doesnt care. I live with extreme anxiety too so I know that feeling. Opening up to your hubby will take a giant weight off your shoulders and I'm sure he will still love you.

Yes I am hoping so, the anxiety is just too much at the moment and I know deep down that a couple of hours of emotional torture whilst I tell him will be worth it in the long run. Have been with him for nearly four years and have had times during our courtship where my skin has not had any active lesions therefore it has been fairly easy to hide. But since last Christmas I have had RELENTLESS breakouts, my skin is constantly red, looks in shit condition and new scars have appeared therefore it is getting increasingly harder to hide my problem from him hence why I really need to just come clean about it. Hoping with his support I can get some skin resurfacing done, maybe acne on top of smoother skin won't look so bad. But 20 years of this crappy condition has really taken its toll on my skin. Even Accutane didn't work for me, plus my diet is really clean so makes me wonder what's wrong with me. Also the constant bullying from others has been rough.

 

Sorry to hear you have anxiety too, I am here for you if ever you need to vent. 



 

You have a husband he apparently must love you and you are still not happy?

Due to how my family and people around me have treated me because of my skin, it has left me with feelings of severe shame and anxiety plus depression. My family have all rejected me and used to beat me and tell me I was unlovable amongst other things due to my skin, so my fear is that my husband may react the same when he finds out. I truly think I am repulsive with skin like this. Yes I am grateful that I have a lovely man in my life but here's hoping he will stick by me when he finds out about my skin. The way I've had to live when I'm around him is extremely depressing. I cover my face with my hair, hide from him when I have just showered and also am forced to wear make up all the time for fear he will notice, be disgusted too and potentially reject me. Do you understand what I mean? Just cos I'm married doesn't mean my problems are answered.

 

Wow... you've never been around your husband without makeup? That's kind of amazing, actually. Seems very difficult to pull off. Do you sleep with it on? Or do you sleep in two different rooms?

 

me: Feeling depressed today.

Haha no, of course he's seen me without make up but during breakouts I hide behind my hair and keep my distance from him if it's daylight or the lights are on, am fed up of living like this. I am now 31 though and at times the acne has subsided a bit which makes going bare faced much easier but since Christmas my skin really has been aggressively bad. Another thing, I can't put make up on while he's watching, as I paint my masterpiece and cover my skin spot by spot. Sorry if all this sounds irrational but have been bullied all my life over my skin condition, even by my family. I could write a book of all the one liners said to me about me and my bloody acne. 




#3350158 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by ibiza1987 on 20 May 2013 - 12:01 PM

Feel utterly miserable with my skin, as well as totally disgusted and ashamed. Have been suffering for 20 years, wondering if there will be an end to it. Even my make up looks a mess due to unevenness of my complexion, wondering when I will be able to look in the mirror and feel happy. Thinking if the scars were removed that would be a start, although at age 31 I am still having loads of active acne plus ridiculously greasy skin sad.png

 

Also constantly torturing myself about my husband's potential thoughts about my skin: whether he thinks it's my fault I have this condition, whether he's thinking I am not helping myself, whether he finds my skin disgusting. Yet I can't face talking to him about the problem because I'm terrified he will say something I don't want to hear. In the past my family rejected me and made me feel unlovable due to my skin, so it really would be the end of the world if my husband did the same. Just want to cry but trying to be strong as I am staying with some friends today.

Hey there smile.png I bet that you would be surprised at the level of support you can get from someone who loves you. I was afraid to bring up my skin to my boyfriend of 6 years and when I did, it was such a load off my mind. It's like getting rid of the elephant in the room. I hope you feel better smile.png

 

>I got a lot of breakouts from eating corn and bread.... they got worse overnight. sad.png It's REALLY hard not to go back to my eating disorder when there are real consequences from enjoying food like this.

Eating disorders are far too easy to slip back into. It's happened to me quite a few times-- especially when you can rationalize the disorder with physical consequences such as acne. My obsession was also acne-based and then just generally "health" based. Little did I know that while my body was "healthy," my mind was so sick. I hope you overcome this.

 

Face update: Feeling...decent. While my overall skintone is "peaches and cream," it makes the red marks SO easy to see. All I want is for all of my pre-existing red marks to just fade away into nonexistence. Coconut oil is helping, though smile.png I just wish I could do absolutely NOTHING and it would all go away. Wishful thinking! haha

 

Hi there,

 

Thanks for responding to my rant! I hate wallowing in self pity but acne (plus a nasty family) just all gets too much sometimes.

 

You are lovely looking, actually saw your photos the other day and remember thinking you cover your acne so well! Not that your skin is even bad, but with make up it seriously looks flawless! You have that lovely skin tone, mine is very olive/yellow so find it hard to find the right foundation shades for me. Plus foundation seems to settle into my large pores/minimal scars. Hate it, and it's disturbing to think that other people might be thinking I am crap at applying my make up and that I could do better. Urgh.

 

But yeah, it's going to be tough having the talk with my husband because if he reacts badly then it will be horrendous for me. But I'm sick and tired of there being an elephant in the room so I guess an hour or two of severe emotional pain whilst I tell him will be worth having it out in the open, plus he will understand why I act 'weird' sometimes. Like covering myself with my hair and not sitting near him during a bad outbreak. Oh, and sex with the lights off so he can't see my face! Crazy, when most people do that due to thinking they're fat - for me the thought of him looking at my bad skin is just too much but I'm totally okay with my body!

 

I am scared of hearing him admit whether he does notice my awful skin, and whether it bothers him. Also, whether he thinks I'm doing something to myself to have bad skin. At least he can't blame my diet though as he knows I am a fruit & veg o-holic! Hopefully like your man, he will be supportive when I tell him.




#3342978 It's Not All Doom And Gloom :)

Posted by ibiza1987 on 24 April 2013 - 08:55 AM

I was Googling acne topics just now and came across this article, it has made me feel a bit better about my skin. Don't know how long my good mood will last, but it's better than nothing! Have a read guys, hope it does the same for you :)

 

http://www.wikihow.c...Effects-of-Acne




#3336625 Why Do So Many People Use Sunscreen?.

Posted by ibiza1987 on 27 March 2013 - 01:15 PM

Doesn't suncreen inhibit vitamin D?. Honest question. With the rise in sunscreen, also came a rise in cancer victims. It reminds me of milk. We were told how necessary it is for healthy bones and yet, America, the largest consumers of milk (That's pasteurized cow's milk) also have one of the highest rates of osteoporosis...something doesn't add up and I think these questions have to be asked.

 

Edit: Another question. Why is it that when one discovers a sunscreen using entirely natural ingredients, that's also very potent, the FDA refuses to acknowledge it and does everything in their power to prevent the product(s) hitting the shelves?, I don't understand.

Yes agree totally, I only wear it if I will be in the sun for many hours, or if I go to somewhere with very high UV such as the Caribbean. I totally believe sunshine is very beneficial to health, in fact sunscreens inhibit vitamin D absorption from the sun, one of the side effects of being low on this important vitamin is weak bones! Also going out in the sun seems to help my acne. When buying my sunscreens I always go for one with a low level of toxins, there's a website out there that gives you a toxicity rating of your cosmetic or beauty product on a scale of 1-10. I've heard the Banana Boat brand is one of the worst, and Hawaiian Tropic is one of the least toxic (which I buy). I am still looking into either making my own by mixing zinc oxide with body lotion, or buying one from a natural store, although like you said, natural sunscreen is hard to come by for the reason you stated.

 

Something I've often wondered too - have you noticed how in recent years, the sunscreen factor numbers are getting higher and higher? About 10 years ago we were told to use a factor 15 at the most, now they're telling us to wear factor 50 or factor 30 at the very least, and to wear it at all times, even in winter! It's madness. And people (sheeple) believe it.

 

Regarding milk, I avoid it wherever possible just in case those hormones are aggravating my acne, or otherwise upsetting my own hormone balance. I use coconut milk instead and it's delicious :) Apparently it has more calcium that 2% milk, also less calories too so it's obviously way better for you, and people shouldn't believe the myth that it's really fatty and calorific.