Please bear with me, and thanks for reading this as it it kinda long....
I've always had super oily skin. but it was always smooth, no visable pores unless I got REALLY close to the mirror, then i could sorta see them from certain angles. A massive amount of antibiotics plus huge amounts of emotinal stress (from developing permanent tinnitus) followed by several xrays on my neck, and my skin was drying out and i was getting a couple large headless red zits (i popped one and only water came out?)
So, in an attempt to correct this i got a 2% salicylic acid moisturizer. Used once normally twice a day for about 2 weeks. wasnt doing ANYTHING but drying out my skin. So I bough "derma E microdermabrasion" DIY at home facial scrub.
After using this 2-3 times a week as suggested (and followed sometimes by the sal acid) I woke up one morning and I had all these black dot holes all over my face. (this was in march) my face was also mildly burning.
I stopped using the products and the black holes look went away, however now i have large open pores all over the insides of my cheeks (only where i used these prodcuts) I only ever had visable pores on my forehead, now the ones on my cheeks, (which were non existant) and all very open and everywhere, and it look s stupid being only in one area of my face.... it draws all the attention, and its in the WORST spot, right in the middle of my cheeks, *sigh*
its been almost 4 months now, and im not seeing much if ANY improvement. what gives? am I doomed for life to look like hell now?
Im also getting very blotchy and sometimes my skin flushes (for a couple minutes)
When this first happened i noticed small sin flakes forming inside the newly opened pores, so id wash my face a gently remove these flakes with a towel. Was this a mistake? was that my skin trying to regenerate and I F@&!*D it up?
I could keep going but im maily convered with the crappy over all texture of my face. I had 8 small acne scars that i actually LIKE the look of on my face, when i looked into a reflection these were all the marks i ever had, and there were oily and smooth. Now i cant ever find these scars in some reflections because of the porous/bumpy/shitty texture of my skin all of a sudden...I know this is pathetic..but I'm feeling more and more suicidal every freaking day.
Girls wont even look at me, where as before they would almost compete for my attention, I tried bringing up small talk with the mail lady and she looked at me like I was some Perverted freak or somthing, I cant live like this. I cant talk to girls anymore, cuz they all get the "omg stop talking to me" look... whats the point of living now? I'm 28 and havent started a family, and now will never, unless I hook up with someone who has poor health and bad genes. And why the fuck would i do that, and give my son/daughter bad unhealthy genes?? I dont think so, I want a healthy good looking G/F so I can have healthy good looking children, As I was once healthy and good looking. I WILL NOT condem a child to the possibility of poor health / genes.
PLEASE, HOW CAN I FIX THIS!!???
I also lost ALOT of weight from chorinc stress (tinnitus) and not eating. Now I have oral thrush from a massive amount of antibiotics and I cant digest any food.
My neice is terrified of me all of a sudden asking me why i look so old and ugly now. coming from a 6 year old, you know shes being totally honest and innocent, so this hurts.
*MODERATOR EDIT* A paragraph contained ideals that are not encouraged on this board, so it was removed.