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AlexanderJ86

Member Since 21 Feb 2013
Offline Last Active Today, 03:07 PM

#3494177 Anyone Have No Sexual Or Dating Experience Because Of Acne?

Posted by AlexanderJ86 on 29 August 2015 - 05:36 AM

 

Its quite pointless to argue, some people will try to push people so that way they can't get hurt. They will constantly say no one will love them, and blame everyone else. They don't want to take chances. I've seen plenty of pretty women dating conventionally ugly guys. I knew a guy back in high school who had severe acne and acne scars yet ladies were still all over him most likely because he was a musician. I've seen conventionally ugly couples who still found love. I know people who met via video games, forums, dating sites, and even tumblr. I do agree women may generally be a little bit more picky, because of an instinct to try to pick the best mate for survival. However there are almost just as many guys who are incredibly shallow even if they aren't good looking. I put a lot of the blame on the media constantly showing us what a perfect woman looks like which is incredibly unrealistic. This goes for guys too, but to a lesser degree. Both genders are guilty of being shallow, just like there's unshallow people of both genders.

That sounds good but the stats are not in favor of this post.

image-167.png

from Business Insider

"But men and women are the same!!! You're being biased and sexist and a jerk!!! by telling the truth that I don't want to hear!!!"

“The expanded horizons offered by online dating don’t equal unrestricted access to a ready and waiting list of beautiful people. Every man and woman online still has criteria that must be met by people who want to date him or her, and every guy and girl is still in direct competition with every other person of their gender… Whereas before a man just needed to be the best looking guy at work to get a date with a colleague, now he needed to be in the top 10% of all men to get a date with one of the women in his city.”

"top 10% of all men to get a date with one of the women in his city.”

This is the double-edged sword of online dating. You have far more access to singles than ever before. But so does everyone else. Which means that there’s also far more COMPETITION.

Especially when it comes to men trying to write to women. For all the talk about “The End of Men” and how gender roles have been obliterated and women can write to men first, blahblahblah, here’s what ACTUALLY happened after four months:

• The women as a group received over 20 times more messages than the men.

• The two most attractive women received 83% of all messages.

• The two most attractive women probably would have received several thousand more if their inboxes hadn’t have reached maximum capacity.

• It took 2 months, 13 days for the most popular woman’s inbox to fill up. At the current rate it would take the most popular man 2.3 years to fill up his."

http://www.evanmarckatz.com

"You're biased!!! I'm going to make up a fake statement against you online now because you hurt my feelings with real data!!!!1111"


 


You're doing the math of how likely it is someone will mate with you on a dating app.  Beyonce had an endless amount of options.  She was famous and could have anyone? from sexy poor people to sexy rich people.  ANYONE in the world.  But she's with Jay Z, whom I hear is very ugly.  To the point where he was made fun of in school, and made fun of even more by Nas.  She didn't settle for Jay Z.  She loves him. 

If you put yourself in situations where you can interact with people, you may find love.  If you use video dating apps where they put you with people for you, you will interact and find love.  Even people on this website ended up marrying each other.  I don't know how bad you look, but if you look horrendously bad then you will just have to tweak some things around.

Your argument doesn't hold. Ugliness does not exist. Jay Z was not bullied because of his appearance. He was bullied, because the bullies are antisocial. You are blaming the victim.




#3494072 Anyone Have No Sexual Or Dating Experience Because Of Acne?

Posted by AlexanderJ86 on 28 August 2015 - 12:02 PM

I don't think there are people attracted to personality over appearance. I have never met them. From my experience I can tell you that it is seemingly impossible to draw people in with a good personality. I am not allowed to hang out with people. No one wants to do that with me, regardless of how my personality is. I am not a shitty person. I am surrounded by shitty people and the psychologists of the social skills training confirmed that.

There ARE, but it's much more uncommon. I can tell you from my experience that it is not impossible to draw people in with a good personality.
I don't know what you mean by you're not allowed to hang out with people though.

 

 

 

Without sugar coating anything, it's true that the majority of people care about looks. With such a sexually charged society it's no wonder the first thing people look for in a partner is attractiveness or sexual appeal. However that doesn't make it right to lump everyone together, especially by something like gender (I'm looking at you, AlexanderJ86). There ARE woman and men out there who don't care much about appearance, just as there are woman and men who are obsessed with it. It will be harder to find a partner if you have acne or acne scars, but it's not impossible. Good luck out there.

From experience I can tell you that it is seemingly impossible. That is the reason I wrote the post the way I did. Also, I did talk about exceptions in that post.

Well there is always exceptions to things, so it's not saying much. You seem to be categorizing everyone as the way you see them, while the truth is people aren't *this way* or *that way* just because you've seen some who are. People have complex opinions, and thoughts on things that falls into a spectrum. You're argument of "never worked for me" doesn't hold much vindication seeming as you're pretty bitter, and there are even less people in the world who would be interested in someone who is not conventionally attractive, nor has a positive personality. So yes, you're chances are very low. There are always ways to increase them though.


In general women are more pickier than men. It's been proven with studies with online dating that show that women only gravitate towards the 10-20% of men that are best looking and avoid the other 80% entirely.

I would never listen to women regarding dating advice because what they say is never reality. They just want to look good by saying what is socially acceptable.

"As you can see from the gray line, women rate an incredible 80% of guys as worse-looking than medium. Very harsh."

- Okcupid study
 

...So you think I'm lying just because I have a uterus? If I wanted to look good by saying what is socially acceptable I would say I think everyone is beautiful/handsome and that I was one of those people who don't care at all about appearances at all. Well, I'm not.

Can you guys stop acting like men are the victim to the horrible, vain women? Guess what, a lot of guys judge women on how they look too. Its society, not gender. Could you tell me without bullshiting that you'd be interested in a "hideous" woman if you were attractive looking yourself?

 

Oh, so there are people like that out there. Can you point them out for me in my neighbourhood, please? People (and girls) don't want to hang out with me. They are not allowing me to do that.
No, we think you are lying because of the immensely discriminating behaviour generally displayed by women. It's true that men can display that behaviour as well, but in far, far less capacity. "Hideous" people don't exist. I have sex with skinny A cup women, I have sex with fat D cup women, white, black...  I don't really care.




#3493768 Anyone Have No Sexual Or Dating Experience Because Of Acne?

Posted by AlexanderJ86 on 26 August 2015 - 04:02 AM

 

 

 

Without sugar coating anything, it's true that the majority of people care about looks. With such a sexually charged society it's no wonder the first thing people look for in a partner is attractiveness or sexual appeal. However that doesn't make it right to lump everyone together, especially by something like gender (I'm looking at you, AlexanderJ86). There ARE woman and men out there who don't care much about appearance, just as there are woman and men who are obsessed with it. It will be harder to find a partner if you have acne or acne scars, but it's not impossible. Good luck out there.

From experience I can tell you that it is seemingly impossible. That is the reason I wrote the post the way I did. Also, I did talk about exceptions in that post.

Well there is always exceptions to things, so it's not saying much. You seem to be categorizing everyone as the way you see them, while the truth is people aren't *this way* or *that way* just because you've seen some who are. People have complex opinions, and thoughts on things that falls into a spectrum. You're argument of "never worked for me" doesn't hold much vindication seeming as you're pretty bitter, and there are even less people in the world who would be interested in someone who is not conventionally attractive, nor has a positive personality. So yes, you're chances are very low. There are always ways to increase them though.

Do you think that I have the time and money to meet every single person on the planet? Of course I have to base my conclusions on some people. I have problems, but I am not really crazy. Most people are very simple minded.
I am not deemed conventionally attractive *already*, regardless of my personality and regardless whether people know me or not. Do you think that I am talking like this for fun???
You are saying that there are ways to increase my chances and then you don't proceed to explain those ways. Why stop there? Do you think I can read your mind or something?

I never said that, but you have the internet don't you? Not to mention it's still unfair to group people together. Like for example, the only lesbians I personally know happen to be pretty geeky (not saying there's anything wrong with that), but I don't assume that all lesbians are that way just because the ones I know are.

I don't think you are talking like this for fun, and I'm genuinely sorry that you've been dealt a bad hand. My point with the personality thing was that the people who are honestly attracted to personality over appearance are going to be driven away, and you don't want to do that because they're not common to come across. I had thought I implied your way to increase your chances in my previous post but I probably wasn't clear enough so I'll reiterate.

First of all putting yourself out there always increases your chances because of the simple fact that you will meet more people. More importantly though is having a welcoming demeanor, and being generally pleasant. Even though people may not be physically attracted to you, its possible to draw them in with a good personality. This doesn't mean you have to be bubbly and optimistic or anything, but being caring, tolerant, and trustworthy is important and well received by everyone but bigots. 

I don't think there are people attracted to personality over appearance. I have never met them. From my experience I can tell you that it is seemingly impossible to draw people in with a good personality. I am not allowed to hang out with people. No one wants to do that with me, regardless of how my personality is. I am not a shitty person. I am surrounded by shitty people and the psychologists of the social skills training confirmed that.




#3493536 Dont Know What To Think Anymore....

Posted by AlexanderJ86 on 24 August 2015 - 02:57 PM

You are definitely not the only one. I am actually being treated as a leper. I am mentally damaged for life. I battle with Schizoid Personality Disorder, Paranoid Personality Disorder and Bipolar Disorder. At least you are getting attention.

I don't mind sitting next to you in the bus.


#3492228 I Notice If A Girl Has Acne... But I Don't Care!

Posted by AlexanderJ86 on 15 August 2015 - 06:08 AM

I don't care either that they have acne. I never did.


#3492225 Anyone Have No Sexual Or Dating Experience Because Of Acne?

Posted by AlexanderJ86 on 15 August 2015 - 06:02 AM

I am in the same boat as you are. Just go to a prostitute, man. From personal experience I can tell you that they are infinitely more social than regular women will ever be. Prostitutes are doing it also for the money, the presents, the attention, etc, but at least they are honest about it and sex is guaranteed. I recommend that you pick a good one. The good ones will act as if they are your girlfriends for an hour or 2. You have to watch out though, because it is highly addictive and you have to watch your money. All this virgin- and relationship bullshit is absolutely not worth the love, attention and sex. I have good experiences with women who come from the poor areas in the world. The poorer they are, the more of an effort they will make to please you.
Don't take any tips from the women over here. Trust me, they are lying just to make you feel better and to save their own faces. They will always say things like "women regard personality just as important, if not, more important than looks", but the reality is that it is the other way around. In fact, personality doesn't matter one bit and they regard appearance as more important than men do. Men generally love anything with a heartbeat and a hole. The same goes for narcissism, feelings of entitlement and special treatment.
Unless you look like George Clooney and are as rich as him, you are not going to have any success under any circumstance. Anything else is an exception that definitely does *not* confirm any rules whatsoever.
I can also tell from experience that women are not only put off by acne. If you are highly intelligent, withdrawn, good with mathematics and computers, then will run away from you as fast as they humanely can, because you are a dull and boring person. I fall in that category and women absolutely don't care that I have the best of intentions with the word, the nature, the animals, the environment, stuff like that. It never worked out for me. In fact, anything you do as a job or something like that will not work for you.
I am struggling with mental disorders due to how I am treated by my environment and that includes women. The psychiatrists thought that I was screwing up my relations with other people, but then they tested my social skills and my skills are excellent. Now they are slowly finding out that I am speaking the truth.


#3481362 If You're Reading This...you Are An Amazing Person

Posted by AlexanderJ86 on 17 May 2015 - 04:40 PM

I want to say, especially to the girls, that I, as a heterosexual guy, don't mind acne (scars) on a girls skin. The problem might be bigger in your head than in reality.


#3474826 Embarassing Acne Moments

Posted by AlexanderJ86 on 16 March 2015 - 02:39 PM

I was reading some of your guys' other posts about this topic and I wanted to talk about my own embarassing moments because I've had plenty. And id like to share them with people who can understand and relate. I remember I used to go to church when I was 15. My church had about 120 members we congregated twice a week. I promise you more than half of my church told me something about my acne. The usual dumb questions. Do you wash your face? What do you wash your face with? Little kids asking me why I had spots. Others blaming my parents for not buying me the right products. Others trying to sell me mary Kay products they swore would fix my face. I hated going. I would cry as I got ready for church. I would look in the mirror before I left my house and just cry. My dad telling me I was still the most beautiful girl. I don't go to church anymore. I also remember working as a cashier and customers asking me why my face was so red. Feeling everyone's eyes on me I just wanted to disappear. I quit. And going to school knowing huge spots on my face were just staring at everyone. Id just look down and try not to make eye contact. Canceling dates because I was too self conscious. Not going out with my friends cus I just felt so ugly. Taking pictures with my friends or family and looking at the pictures and just wanting to crawl in a hole and die. Yeah acne can really ruin a person

That people have faith doesn't mean they are social. The psychopaths are everywhere. We have all met them. I am not one of them though. They clearly got to you, but you should not give up. You should find people who are nice to you regardless of the state of your skin.




#3471186 Women With Scars: Do You Get Approached?

Posted by AlexanderJ86 on 10 February 2015 - 06:07 PM

Not so many simply come forward to have a chat or flirt, unless their drunk looking for a one night stand in a club

That's because that generally doesn't work for men. Definitely not for men with acne. For me, a man with acne, it is seemingly impossible to get people (and girls) to even like me the normal way, independent from the setting.




#3470640 How To Get Over Acne Depression? Please Help I'm Desperate

Posted by AlexanderJ86 on 06 February 2015 - 04:18 AM

Hi everyone,

 

I've never posted on a forum before let alone one which deals with something very personal to me, but I think it's time to share my story and to ask for insight from this community. I've been dealing with this by myself for some time now and I think it's been very detrimental to my recovery by keeping it a secret.

 

I'm 23 years old living in new york city. I've had chronic acne all my life but nothing ever terribly severe. I've done everything under the sun. It's been really clear for the past year before 7 months ago when I changed my diet to a high carb low fat vegan diet (in attempts to erratic the acne 100%). I listened to some bad advice and followed the diet incorrectly and my skin has plummeted to its all time low.

 

So severe that when I googled "severe acne," a search engine phrase that shows the most horrific types of acne.. I had worse. That was my all time low.. when my acne was worse than the severe acne found on the internet. 

 

Through modifying my high carb low fat vegan diet and seeing an MD certified holistic doctor.. I have clear skin now. I still have breakouts but they are very small. What pains me are the acne scars that I've sustained from the severe acne that tortured my whole entire face (all over face, even under eyebrows, near my eyes, under my jaw, down my neck). My acne was so bad there was not one inch of skin that you can see. You can only imagine what my skin texture looks like now. 

 

I haven't worked for 7 months, I live off money my parents give me, I have no money, I spent well over $10,000 trying to cure this, I haven't gone out at all, I stay home all day, I used to be a fitness fanatic but I haven't gone for months, I sit all day, some days I go 3 days without even once going out, I dress like a bum, I'm always in my pajamas, I'm depressed, I'm easily agitated, I have social anxiety, I haven't seen my friends in months, I talk to no one. It's been very hard. This has been the hardest experience that I've ever gone through. I cry almost every day.

 

Yes, I'm post-acne despite still dealing with scars but my severe acne has been going on for so many months that I have PTSD. 
Similar to girls who are anorexic and who see a different girl in the mirror, I have the same thing with my face. I can't look people in the eye. I can't hold a conversation. People see me as extrovert but I have very intense introvert tendencies and I'm too in my head now. I'm too far deep. 

 

I'm writing this is because recently when I tried to rekindle my social skills (trying to be proactive)... I've tried hanging out with a few "good friends" of mine and... things change if you haven't seen them for half a year. I felt like they didn't like me, they thought I was weird, I felt self-conscious. I just felt so alone. Dealing with acne is so personal and so shameful, how could I talk about it? They wouldn't understand. It's been really damaging to my self-confidence and ego. I'm someone who is considered good looking, positive, happy, flirty, charming.. I worked so hard to build up these qualities after having such a tramautizing childhood and growing up with low self-confidence. And now I feel like I'm back to square one. I don't know what to do. I'm crying right now as I type this. 

 

Can you guys give me some advice? Or at least words of encouragement? How have you guys dealt with lingering depression? How do you get out of your head and into proactive behaviors?

 

I need this more than anything because my money is dried up.. I need confidence to go back to work, to get my life back. I'm only 23 and I feel like I've wasted my best years. 

 

Peace and love,

Peaches

Did people become hostile to you because of your skin?




#3466544 Moderate Acne But It's Killing Me

Posted by AlexanderJ86 on 04 January 2015 - 07:33 AM

You are not your skin. The beauty industry may have convinced you of that, but it is not true.




#3466543 Has Acne Prevent You From Starting A Life Of Your Own?

Posted by AlexanderJ86 on 04 January 2015 - 07:30 AM

Due to the nightmare that was high school, I never mustered up the courage to go to college. I'm now 21 1/2 & feel like I might be ok with it now but at my age do you think it's too late to start school again? Did anyone else not go because of acne?

Tbh I kind of feel like i want to join one of the military branches but again my physiological trauma prevents me from taking any affirmative action in my life, not to mention how embarrassing it would be if everyone would get to see my back acne.... sigh i just feel to ugly for society. After being told that for years by strangers I believe them. Someone give me advice please, how have you delt with incorporating yourself with society was it hard? Life of an ugly man is so hard dude, the worst of it is I did nothing to deserve this kind of treatment from humanity.

I consider myself a good person but, all the mental abuse over the years has absolutely changed something about me... I have a confession actually. I noticed that while I try to stay away from people in general. I'm ashamed to admit that i have abused animals in the past =(. That's something I feel I would have never done had it not been for all the hatred people have put in me. Again I apologize to any pet owners, that's something i feel very guilty about. I guess I felt that I had to take my anger out on anything I could, even my old pet dog. but don't worry I haven't seen him since i moved & no I currently have no pets.

I read somewere that animal abuse is a common stepping stone to becoming a full blown serial killer, which kind of scares me... sigh I'm just a big mess really. Perhaps I should visit a shrink, I never have & never felt the need to but I may have been wrong. I just want what everyone else does... a happy healthy life, I don't even want to be ritch.

I'll be moving back with my mom soon & I hope I can get my life together this time, I spent the whole summer and winter just waiting on my acne to clear up on its own. I believe it's now at a good enough level to were i might actually be able to function as a regular member of society. By no means is it anywere near flawless skin though, I still have many large open pores & few discoloration. At least I know it'll never be as bad as in my teens, that's only a small comfort though..

Society does not exist. It is an illusion. It's fake. You cannot be a member of something that does not exist. In a society you would not encounter the people you (and me) have encountered. You would have no reason to stay away from people.

I have been treated the same way by other people with no fault of my own. I have never punched people into a hospital or something. The discrimination is real. It always has been. I have been put in a mental hospital.




#3457381 Advice For Guys

Posted by AlexanderJ86 on 24 October 2014 - 06:02 PM

It's all a bunch of bullshit. The who gives a fuck attitude had zero influence for me.




#3455725 Elliott Hulse Saved My Life

Posted by AlexanderJ86 on 13 October 2014 - 03:31 AM

Ultimately, you decide how you feel. The environment can greatly influence your decision, but in the end, you are the commander. Mental disorders can be fixed. Isn't evolution sufficient evidence to prove that things change over time? Adaptation is the key element. We've learned in our past through our own ideas to let ourselves be capsized because it's our safezone. He is not the only one with this theory. There are many others, including Miguel Ruiz with "The Four Agreements" just as one example, along with Robert Greene's "Mastery." Do not let yourself dissolve in a perpetual hell. There is a brilliance in all of us!

Free will does not exist. Some mental disorders cannot be fixed. Also, they may worsen over time. There are disorders that fit in the category of "learning to live with it". Evolution has nothing to do with it. You are just as a stranger in your own world as he is. My advice is to learn about the nature of mental disorders.




#3451996 People Point Out My Makeup

Posted by AlexanderJ86 on 14 September 2014 - 08:16 AM

Get over it and stop whining about what other people say about you.

How the fuck is that going to solve her social problems?