Get over it and stop whining about what other people say about you.
How the fuck is that going to solve her social problems?
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Posted by AlexanderJ86 on 14 September 2014 - 08:16 AM
Get over it and stop whining about what other people say about you.
How the fuck is that going to solve her social problems?
Posted by AlexanderJ86 on 09 September 2014 - 09:48 AM
I recently joined acne.org because of the struggle that acne has put me through. I've had mild acne for 3 years but this year it became worse. It was specifically located on my forehead but now that has cleared. Sadly my cheeks, chin and temples have broken out. I started to wear makeup to help my self- confidence, but since I go to high school, all the girls (including my friends) have been pointing out my makeup like its a disease. Some say, " you need to blend your foundation better" or "I can tell your wearing makeup". One instance a friend sitting beside me said, " you cake on your foundation, make it look more natural or don't wear it at all". She yelled it all my class, everyone could hear. I felt so embarrassed. If only they saw the true condition of my face. They would make worse comments. I feel so depressed.
I understand. The need to control others and other aggressive behaviour is ingrained in our malfunctioning culture. They can't help it they are doing that.
Posted by AlexanderJ86 on 09 September 2014 - 04:50 AM
That is the bullying nature of religion. Religious people are full with meaningless and damaging hate. They don't see people as human anymore when those people have something that conflicts with their ideas, like gay people and, as it seems, also people with acne.
Posted by AlexanderJ86 on 22 June 2014 - 06:05 AM
I stopped caring. I have to, otherwise the loneliness destroys me.
Posted by AlexanderJ86 on 03 June 2014 - 03:13 AM
Cheer up, there's guys out there who who would love to be with you.
thanks..that's what everyone says, but in reality, noone really. Maybe I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time.
You may be right, but I may also be right.
Posted by AlexanderJ86 on 31 May 2014 - 12:39 AM
I don't care much about looks. At least not the way other people do. You have misread the bit about being a nice guy. My social skills have actually been tested by psychiatry. They are fine. The group of civilized people is so small that I have developed untreatable disorders. Now that people allow me to become like that is really offensive! What I say is nothing compared to what I have been through.
The only one completely in charge of what you become is yourself. It's up to you -not others- whether to use that experience to help yourself, or to hurt yourself.
You often don't get to chose what bad things happen to you in life; however, you can chose the effect it has on you.
And yes, I know I'm being harsh, but I believe that we should be able to rise above the bad experiences in life and make something good out of it.
I doubt you're a bad person, but I advise you to try to think more positively about other people and to not victimize yourself according to your past experiences.
And it's great that your "social skills have been tested by psychiatry", but that's not a measure of character. Character is what you do when nobody is watching.
But I digress; that's an entirely different discussion.
In short, you have the power to chose who you become- take all those negative experiences and use them to build yourself up, not knock yourself down.
"you can chose the effect it has on you."
Can you prove that statement? Psychiatry says you can't. The existence of the DSM is proof for their position. The reality is is that we are all products of our environment.
Posted by AlexanderJ86 on 27 May 2014 - 03:22 PM
There are far more male virgins than female virgins. Women are naturally attracted to symettry, compact midfaces, flawless olive skin, dark hair, low hairlines, and height.
Male beauty is NOT subjective. Dont let anyone tell you otherwise. Being born male an "average looking" or ugly male is a SCAM.
I don't know about the subjectivity, but it is obvious to me that women are completely brainwashed by the media, Hollywood, the beauty industry, the porn industry, etc. You know what I mean. People say that men only care about looks. That's a lie. Research indicates that it is exactly the other way around. Men care less about looks as they have more sex drive fueled by testosterone. You wonder why women wear so much make up in the first place and the way they dress. It is about the competition between women, not about attracting men.
Posted by AlexanderJ86 on 16 May 2014 - 01:07 PM
People hate me for all kinds of reasons: for my looks, for my clothes, for my behaviour, for my intelligence, for the fact that I am a relaxed, quiet, introverted person. I didn't have friends when I was 8 and I still don't have friends at 28.
The Venus Project works on solving poverty, war, etc. by replacing the culture and the economy with something else.
Then these people are idiots, I don't blame you for being introverted if those are the people around you. Well, most friendships are disposable anyway. I made my best friends when I was 6 and we are still friends more than 2 decades later. But most of my adult friendships are superficial and unstable because it's hard to trust people when you and they get older. It's better to have a few quality friends than many unreliable ones. And if you can't find any decent friends, then you have yourself.
What is that "something else" that will replace capitalism? I wonder if it's even possible
Unfortunately, those same idiots have driven me to cluster A. I have "lost myself" in the social isolation and it is impossible for me to go back to society, if such a thing exists.
Posted by AlexanderJ86 on 08 May 2014 - 06:55 AM
Well, I tried to respond to the part of your posts that made sense. You can't even use punctuation correctly, how am I supposed to take you seriously?
You obviously joined this site to start arguments and offend people. I don't even understand why you got so pissed off about my thread. If you don't like what I wrote and what others took the time to write, don't read it. It doesn't make sense for you to keep posting here, and I won't respond to you anymore.
What? I am not writing my dissertation here U Grammer Nazi!!!! ok so I made a few punctuation errors, thats such a big deal for you not to take me seriously,typical stupid shaming tactic to shame on grammatical errors on a public forum where that hardly matters, whats heights of nonsense........................................
What is your goal? You have already written false claims about people. What is it exactly what you are trying to achieve here?
Posted by AlexanderJ86 on 08 May 2014 - 06:52 AM
So I've been suffering from acne since i was possibly 13 years old??? Roughly, I'm now 22. It was never rly terrible until I was 18. It got quite sever for some reason my last year of high school and then again all through college. I completed 2 1/2 years of college but then it got so severe and I developed such social anxiety over the active acne and scarring that I basically closeted, took some time off school and got a job where I can work from home so I don't have to go out of the house if I'm feeling super down about the scarring. I still get out at least 4 to 5 times a week and I'm trying not to let it hold me back. I need to retain an at home job for now just because it's steady and I know I can always show up as I am still unfortunately struggling through that path of self acceptance.
One thing I decided after talking with a therapist, close family and friends, is that something needed to change. I'm a brooder and so I wouldn't always do this, but on an off day/(off hour even), I might stare in the mirror and just pick apart and scrutinize my skin to the point where I would feel like all that negativity and stress was CREATING more acne. What a vicious cycle. I realized something needed to change. So due to my nice at home work situation, I decided to take a one-month purge from mirrors. Basically I covered up the main one in my bathroom. I avoid the other minimal ones like the downstairs mirror. If i'm going to the grocery store, I let my mom give me a brief rundown to make sure there's nothing funky going on like black make up streaks on my face (lol) and it's been seriously helpful. Between selfies and just this crazy age of technology, it's been damaging for me and our culture helps me to obsess about it so I've decided to take back some control of myself.
I'm not sure if I have BDD, as my acne and scarring could be considered severe, but I do think that this cleanse is exactly what I needed and I'm happy so far that I started. It's only been 4 days and I plan to go a full month doing this purge. i suggest everyone try it at some point in their lives, even if they don't consider themselves to have any traits of narcissism and aren't super critical of their skin. It's a fun life experience in all honesty! We're so used to seeing our reflection. It takes me back to a time so long ago ( I like imaging what life was like in other time periods, romanticizing other eras and whatnot ) and there was a time when I'm sure they wouldn't look in any handheld mirrors. It's cool to disconnect from your image and get more in contact with your personality and spirit if you believe in that kinda thing. I feel like a fuller person after disconnecting now.
My true goal is to one day not be even affected by what I see in the mirror. To look in the mirror with nice skin or look in the mirror with bad skin and know I have a ton of worth regardless. I hope that one day will happen but for now I have taken a step to gain some control over my life and it feels good.
Any thoughts on my decision, anyone who has maybe tried this before, any general comments about narcissism and if you feel this would help/hinder your situation are greatly welcomed!
I have actually stopped caring about the culture you talk about. I don't let myself be influenced emotionally by bullies, the media, Hollywood, the porn industry, etc.
Posted by AlexanderJ86 on 08 May 2014 - 06:19 AM
I'm new here and it looks like a great forum so I hope you guys can give me some advice/understanding on my latest acne woes!
I've recently started seeing someone new after breaking up with my bf of 5 years and I think I'd forgotten how difficult a new relationship can be when struggling with acne. With my ex, it didn't bother me as much as he'd seen it all by that point.
How do you guys normally broach the subject? It's obvious I have acne so I don't want to ignore it and have mentioned to him that I am very self conscious about it.
It's starting to really get me down now though as I'm having really bad breakouts at the moment and I just don't feel comfortable staying at his place where he'll see me without my makeup on. Which I feel vain and ridiculous about!
I don't want it to get to the point where he thinks I'm pushing him away because he seems like a really nice guy. And I know if he doesn't want to be with me because of my acne then he's obviously not worth it but it still doesn't stop me from feeling ugly and really unconfident
How does everyone normally deal with new relationships?
P.s sorry for the essay!!
Well, you kinda said it yourself. If he is not civilized about it, then he isn't worth staying with. The only solution is to talk about it. Personally, I would never judge a person based on a skin issue. It's not like it is contagious cancer or something. People are not ugly, because of a skin issue. The ugly people are the bullies who see people with skin issues as lesser people.
Posted by AlexanderJ86 on 06 May 2014 - 02:16 PM
Thanks everyone. I read your comments every time I feel bad about myself and every time I'm tempted to reconsider this pathetic excuse of a man.
Well, I think the guys on this forum are far nicer but sadly none of you lives in my area! Perhaps Florida attracts a lot of crazies?? I never met so many disturbed people until I moved to Florida....but I don't want to stereotype or anything. Maybe it's just me. The longest relationship I had in Florida was with a guy who "forgot" to tell me he was still married. So yeah, I definitely attract the wrong people.
I would rather be single forever than keep wasting my time with losers....Unfortunately, in this society, if you are single many people think you are a loser, especially in my profession. I get less respect because I'm a single female. But I highly doubt the purpose of life (if there is one) is simply to get married and have kids...surely, there must be more to life than that goal, right? I'm sure most of you posting here share similar views. I try to get ahead in my career first, and then worry about the rest.
The only problem is that sometimes I get lonely, especially since I moved to a new city and my friends live far away. Oh well.
It's not Florida. Most people are aberrant. If people say you are a loser, then they are uncivilized and aggressive. There is objectively nothing wrong with being single. Getting married is indeed not the purpose of life. Actually, life has no purpose or meaning whatsoever. I understand that that may bother you, but that's how it is. Life is not about having a career either. I am personally a huge fan of "Build your career around your life, not your life around your career". This entire society based on money and materialism is completely fake. It is a false society. That's the cause of the deviating behaviour of people. They are adjusted to a deeply sick culture.
Aren't there clubs that you can join and meet up with people? If you know new people, then the loneliness problem may be solved. Getting a relationship just so that someone fills a void in you is a bad reason to have a relationship.
Posted by AlexanderJ86 on 03 May 2014 - 02:11 AM
It is the big deal with online dating. You "fall in love" with someone you never met, that's never a good thing. It is not like you met someone in a bar , completely drunk and sweatie (is it english??).
He first saw your beautiful pictures and then had a great time chating with you. His attempts were high and maybe he was disappointed. I am sure you are not the problem. The problem is this kind of dating!
If you are too much focused on your looks, why don't you go in a bar with some GAY friends? You will have fun and if you meet a guy, he will like you for what you are at this exact moment!
I decided to give up with online dating for this reason! I prefer to be single and not to feel sad each time one of my online conquest rejects me!
And yes! On what are you dating? Tinder??
I agree..online dating is not the "normal" way to date, but what is nowadays? I don't really go out that much since I moved to a new city because most people I know are older with kids. So it was really a chance to go out and meet people.
It was on okcupid....is tinder worse than okcupid?
>>Wish Clean, all the better to get rid of this guy than to have him hang around and you find out that he isn't the right match later. All people are put in our lives for a reason so don't stress it - he served his purpose and its time to move on. Looking at your pics, your complexion is wonderful and your acne and scarring are minimal. I think ive come across of pictures when your acne was much worse and hun, your lifestyle has made a difference.
Take time off to enjoy life and when you feel ready, climb back on the horse and try again
Yes, you are right. After this guy disappeared, I went though my "progress" photos to remind myself how much progress my skin has made. To a normal person with no skin issues, my skin still looks bad, but to someone who has gone through acne it doesn't look bad. It's strange and it messes with my head.
Btw, I thought I should update. It might seem funny to some of you, as it did to me. I googled his okcupid name (since his real name didn't really bring up anything strange) and it turns out a few years ago he actually uploaded a video of himself and a very drunk girl on some amateur porn sites. He was also on a bunch of casual sex sites, including a site for married women to have affairs. This was in 2011, but still....this guy's d**k was all over the Internet. Needless to say, that was all I needed to get over him.
Sadly, this is not the first time this has happened to me. Where are all the normal, mature men??? I'm definitely starting to lose hope.
*Mature man putting hand up* We still exist!
You know, if you would live in my neighbourhood, I would just come and visite you
I mean it. I am willing to give everyone here at least a big hug.
Posted by AlexanderJ86 on 03 May 2014 - 02:01 AM
Complaining and blaming doesn't get you a girlfriend either. I am also sick of it. That's why I am building a new civilization. In the new civilization people will learn that acne is a skin issue, not contagious cancer.
Posted by AlexanderJ86 on 09 April 2014 - 02:28 AM
Just to echo what a lot of people said, you are beautiful whether or not you have acne, scars, whatever. Be proud of yourself for putting yourself out there and don't feel bad because things didn't work out - why be with someone who doesn't want to be with you, know what i mean. We people with acne will always have insecurities about our skin but as someone once told me, bravery is being afraid of doing something and doing it anyway. Take time to love yourself and try again. I am insecure 24/7 and i hide it well - haven't even made an attempt to date in a while but i know that i won't find that special person sitting on my sofa.
There is someone out there for everyone so don't give up
Good luck sistah and keep your head up
I am sorry, but I don't believe that. My experiences with people is in direct contradiction with what you said. It is not that someone doesn't like me. The reality is that no one likes me. If there would anyone out there that would like me, then chances are extremely small that I would find that out. I am actually focussing myself now on things that will absolutely get better as long as I put effort in it, like (volunteer) work.
Thanks everyone. You are putting things into perspective for me. Today I took a photo from the same angle in my bathroom, and my skin looks smoother (I am wearing CC cream as in the first pics, nothing different). It's really messing with my head....one day I look semi-normal, the next I look and feel deformed. It doesn't help that the guy hasn't texted me again in a few days, and even when I texted it took him hours to send back a text with no question or anything. So I gave up. It's getting a bit weird.... I'm starting to feel like he is not that into me and/or playing games. If someone is really interested, they don't do this kind of sh*t, especially when we both said to each other (via texts of course, bc he doesn't have the nerve to do it in person) that we are attracted to each other. All his other interactions seem friendly, not romantic. I don't get men.
I wouldn't play games. I don't even want to play games. I think it is best that you call him on that behaviour. Not directly, but more like, "You haven't responded to me in a few days. Are you busy? What are you doing?". Also, I don't judge people based on skin problems. I just don't.
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