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AlexanderJ86

Member Since 21 Feb 2013
Offline Last Active Feb 25 2015 05:50 AM

Posts I've Made

In Topic: Women With Scars: Do You Get Approached?

11 February 2015 - 03:23 PM

Superficial guys, who are turned off by acne scars, are guys you want to stay away from anyway.


In Topic: What To Say When People Are Blatantly Looking At Your Acne

11 February 2015 - 03:17 PM

"My eyes are up here"


In Topic: Women With Scars: Do You Get Approached?

10 February 2015 - 06:07 PM

Not so many simply come forward to have a chat or flirt, unless their drunk looking for a one night stand in a club

That's because that generally doesn't work for men. Definitely not for men with acne. For me, a man with acne, it is seemingly impossible to get people (and girls) to even like me the normal way, independent from the setting.


In Topic: How To Get Over Acne Depression? Please Help I'm Desperate

06 February 2015 - 04:18 AM

Hi everyone,

 

I've never posted on a forum before let alone one which deals with something very personal to me, but I think it's time to share my story and to ask for insight from this community. I've been dealing with this by myself for some time now and I think it's been very detrimental to my recovery by keeping it a secret.

 

I'm 23 years old living in new york city. I've had chronic acne all my life but nothing ever terribly severe. I've done everything under the sun. It's been really clear for the past year before 7 months ago when I changed my diet to a high carb low fat vegan diet (in attempts to erratic the acne 100%). I listened to some bad advice and followed the diet incorrectly and my skin has plummeted to its all time low.

 

So severe that when I googled "severe acne," a search engine phrase that shows the most horrific types of acne.. I had worse. That was my all time low.. when my acne was worse than the severe acne found on the internet. 

 

Through modifying my high carb low fat vegan diet and seeing an MD certified holistic doctor.. I have clear skin now. I still have breakouts but they are very small. What pains me are the acne scars that I've sustained from the severe acne that tortured my whole entire face (all over face, even under eyebrows, near my eyes, under my jaw, down my neck). My acne was so bad there was not one inch of skin that you can see. You can only imagine what my skin texture looks like now. 

 

I haven't worked for 7 months, I live off money my parents give me, I have no money, I spent well over $10,000 trying to cure this, I haven't gone out at all, I stay home all day, I used to be a fitness fanatic but I haven't gone for months, I sit all day, some days I go 3 days without even once going out, I dress like a bum, I'm always in my pajamas, I'm depressed, I'm easily agitated, I have social anxiety, I haven't seen my friends in months, I talk to no one. It's been very hard. This has been the hardest experience that I've ever gone through. I cry almost every day.

 

Yes, I'm post-acne despite still dealing with scars but my severe acne has been going on for so many months that I have PTSD. 
Similar to girls who are anorexic and who see a different girl in the mirror, I have the same thing with my face. I can't look people in the eye. I can't hold a conversation. People see me as extrovert but I have very intense introvert tendencies and I'm too in my head now. I'm too far deep. 

 

I'm writing this is because recently when I tried to rekindle my social skills (trying to be proactive)... I've tried hanging out with a few "good friends" of mine and... things change if you haven't seen them for half a year. I felt like they didn't like me, they thought I was weird, I felt self-conscious. I just felt so alone. Dealing with acne is so personal and so shameful, how could I talk about it? They wouldn't understand. It's been really damaging to my self-confidence and ego. I'm someone who is considered good looking, positive, happy, flirty, charming.. I worked so hard to build up these qualities after having such a tramautizing childhood and growing up with low self-confidence. And now I feel like I'm back to square one. I don't know what to do. I'm crying right now as I type this. 

 

Can you guys give me some advice? Or at least words of encouragement? How have you guys dealt with lingering depression? How do you get out of your head and into proactive behaviors?

 

I need this more than anything because my money is dried up.. I need confidence to go back to work, to get my life back. I'm only 23 and I feel like I've wasted my best years. 

 

Peace and love,

Peaches

Did people become hostile to you because of your skin?


In Topic: Blunt Dating Advice For People With Acne

03 February 2015 - 09:08 AM

I think it's pretty obvious that dating/attraction is subjective.  To some people acne is not a big turnoff, to others it is.  That's why I dislike these threads of "blunt advice", it doesn't need to be blunt, it's the same for nearly any personality/physical trait.  Just like some girls/guys can't stand people with blonde/red hair, those people exist haha.  I think the most important part to remember is that we are all the most critical of ourselves, confidence stems from self perception of value, if you don't value yourself and what you have to offer, which isn't just a pretty/acne-free face, then you most likely won't be confident in yourself.  Rather than just trying to portray confidence, remind yourself of your good qualities and work on improving the things you do have control over!  Much love and luck to you all. 

 

Acne is completely different from "nearly any personality/physical" trait. Having blonde hair is a feature that you have, having acne is a symptom of a skin disease. Trust me when I say that NO ONE is attracted to disfiguring cystic acne. It's the truth. It's not just a "preference". Secondly, some of us are hardly the only ones "critical" of ourselves. I get insulted from people all of the time because of how I look. You can be as confident as you want but people will reject you if you look terrible. It's the blunt truth.

That is the behaviour of a narcissistic psychopath.