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AlexanderJ86

Member Since 21 Feb 2013
Offline Last Active Today, 05:10 AM

Posts I've Made

In Topic: Acne Is Ugly

Today, 05:11 AM

I am shocked to read some of these comments here. How disgraceful, honestly. To undermine somebody's self-worth based on a skin condition is purely a superficial thing to do. I see what you're getting at. I don't like false flattery. But I draw the line here.

To call somebody ugly because of a condition... I'm astonished at how shallow some people can get. You may think acne is ugly, fine. That's your opinion. But I would rather have a face full of cysts and nodules than have an ugly heart like yours, OP.

But nonetheless, have a great day.

OP is actually representative of "society".


In Topic: Acne Is Ugly

25 August 2014 - 05:41 PM

It is not really about what people say to you. The words don't matter, but the message does. The message has always been with me "I don't like you and now f*ck off!". I have been very lonely and very paranoid. In fact, I live in a psychiatric hospital because of that. I live there to protect myself from the outside world, who has always been hostile to me with some degree. What I think about myself has absolutely nothing to do with my experiences with other people.

 

It sounds like you've had some tough things to deal with. That really sucks. I'm sorry for any and everything you've been through.

 

I find that people who lash out at others like that are often, if not always, completely out of touch with themselves. They are usually so bogged down by their own issues (and almost always blind to that fact) that the only release they have is to be cruel and hostile. They know of no other way to deal with the uncomfortableness of their own insecurities than to laser in on someone else's. It's the only way they can find to feel like they have some sort of control in their life - to exhibit power over another person. 

 

I believe the people who say those things to you feel the exact same way that you do. They just don't know it, and process it in an entirely different way. They are blindly using their life experiences destructively. It has very little, if anything, to actually do with you.

I think you are right. However, at that level of toughness, there is really nothing that can be done about it on your own. If you convince yourself of what they say, you become cluster C. If you don't do that, then you still can become cluster A or schizophrenic. If you absolutely don't care about it, then you may be autistic or cluster B. In such a hostile environment, you can't really get out of it. It really doesn't matter whether you are allowing it to happen or not. It just happens.


In Topic: Acne Is Ugly

25 August 2014 - 04:11 PM

 

 

Ugliness does not exist. You know that and I know that, but the society at large does not know that. For them, we and Lizzie fall in the same category, the ugly category. We are ugly people who should be avoided at all cost, instead of people with acne and people with progeria.

 

Perhaps true. But, irrelevant. The category other people put you in only matters if you allow it. That's why I love Lizzie. She owned it and turned it into a beautiful thing.

 

I won't deny that that can be a challenge. We get trained pretty early on to seek our value and self worth from the people around us. But self acceptance can be just like getting physically fit. Really hard at first, especially if you're going from overweight and super out of shape, but entirely possible for everyone. And with time, it becomes easier until it's just who you are. 

What does "allowing it" mean?

 

Good question. I mean it only affects you if you let it - if you yourself believe it.

 

A related example I use i is this: I'm not at all insecure about my weight. However, I know lots of women who are my size and even smaller who are obsessed with being thinner.

 

If you were to call me fat, it'd roll right off of me, like water off a ducks back. I don't believe I'm fat, you saying that doesn't affect me in the slightest.

 

However, you say that to a few of my friends, even the pencil thin ones, and you will immediately send them into a spiral of despair and depression and they'll start to starve themselves. 

 

It's not the circumstances (physical appearance, other people's opinions, what "category" you fall in) that matter. I say the most important thing is what you believe about yourself. Everything else is irrelevant. 

 

If you think poorly of yourself - for any reason, it means you're letting other people's opinions (real or imagined) dictate what you think about yourself. Again, we all do it because it's sort of indirectly taught to us from a young age, and then gets perpetuated in media and such. But it's entirely possible to feel self sustaining value in yourself, regardless of what's going on. It's like a muscle, it just need to be exercised.

It is not really about what people say to you. The words don't matter, but the message does. The message has always been with me "I don't like you and now f*ck off!". I have been very lonely and very paranoid. In fact, I live in a psychiatric hospital because of that. I live there to protect myself from the outside world, who has always been hostile to me with some degree. What I think about myself has absolutely nothing to do with my experiences with other people.


In Topic: Acne Is Ugly

25 August 2014 - 01:09 PM

Ugliness does not exist. You know that and I know that, but the society at large does not know that. For them, we and Lizzie fall in the same category, the ugly category. We are ugly people who should be avoided at all cost, instead of people with acne and people with progeria.

 

Perhaps true. But, irrelevant. The category other people put you in only matters if you allow it. That's why I love Lizzie. She owned it and turned it into a beautiful thing.

 

I won't deny that that can be a challenge. We get trained pretty early on to seek our value and self worth from the people around us. But self acceptance can be just like getting physically fit. Really hard at first, especially if you're going from overweight and super out of shape, but entirely possible for everyone. And with time, it becomes easier until it's just who you are. 

What does "allowing it" mean?


In Topic: Acne Is Ugly

25 August 2014 - 10:07 AM

"Beauty" and "Ugliness" are, and only can be, opinions. The are not states of being unless you internally accept them as such and let them define you, or if you allow the opinions of others define you instead of your opinion of yourself.

I would conceded that most people would be of the opinion that acne is ugly. But acne only defines you if you let it. I believe most human beings have the capacity to be immensely beautiful, in the purest sense of the word, despite any and all outward appearances.

 

Just look at Lizzie Velasquez. If you don't know who that is, do yourself a favor and Google her.

Ugliness does not exist. You know that and I know that, but the society at large does not know that. For them, we and Lizzie fall in the same category, the ugly category. We are ugly people who should be avoided at all cost, instead of people with acne and people with progeria.