I can totally relate. I've been hiding out from friends and my boyfriend every chance I get. I totally sympathize with you and just want to let you know you are not alone.
I think it's really important you don't isolate yourself completely, but if you really think you are going to be self conscious and not have a good time, you are not obligated to do anything. Give yourself a break and just take the night off. Take a bath, paint your toenails and watch your favorite movie. Stress does not help your skin.
With that said, don't wait until your skin is perfect to live life. You are your harshest critic. I guarantee. If I decide to go out and I'm having a bad skin day (which over the last 8 months has been every day) I literally say "f--k it." Seriously! Who cares what anyone else thinks! Life is more than just what your skin looks like and I'm sure you know that when you can let go of it, even for a couple hours, you start to enjoy the company of friends again. Your mind is a powerful thing so just make the choice not to dwell and enjoy life again.
As for spironolactone, it was a miracle for me. I have had severe cystic acne on and off since my teens. A few years back my derm suggested spironolactone and it was the only thing that ever worked (I tried everything under the sun including 3 rounds of accutane). When I was on spiro my skin was perfect. Crystal clear. I also used a few topicals and birth control.
I stopped all my medicines last year even though they were working because I was trying to go the natural holistic route and that really backfired. Then luckily I got my diagnosis of PCOS and I discovered that spironolactone is actually exactly the right medicine for me. So, it's been 6 weeks back on it and birth control and topicals. And things are finally starting to get better! Since I've been through this before I know it takes time.
I have a lot of hope for you. Be patient with the spiro. It can potentially work quickly but may take as long as 3-4 months. I also encourage you to find out the underlying issue. I know spiro works for PCOS but I'm not sure if you know what's going on in YOUR body. Once you get to the root of your problem you will be able to treat it correctly. That was the real turning point for me.
Anyway, sorry so long winded. I just really could relate to you and wanted to reach out.
Sending love and support,