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Pianina

Member Since 11 Jan 2013
Offline Last Active Today, 03:37 AM

#3461712 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by Pianina on 28 November 2014 - 01:33 PM

 
Im thinking about going to the derm to talk about red marks, it cant be normal for red marks to last over a year, every pimple ive had since summer, there's still a red mark.

                                I've got some red marks that has been on my face for about two years now. Just saying so that you dont feel alone :)


#3459006 Ever Feel Suicidal?

Posted by Pianina on 07 November 2014 - 07:20 AM

Hey my scarred fellows! Hope you are doing well today. On monday i got my second fraxel re:store done, much more redness this time cause of higher settings, but otherwise fine. Dont have too big expectations this time either, this laser requires patience and i've got loads! :D one day those scars will be reduced to barely visible and ill celebrate that day!! :D


#3456874 Ever Feel Suicidal?

Posted by Pianina on 21 October 2014 - 05:18 AM

 

 

 



Khaled, I would maybe say stop having expectations based solely on clearing acne. We, who suffer from this condition, try out diets and medications with the only goal - to clear our faces, often forgetting that we should first of all start off by improving our overall health. Try making steps to a generally healthier lifestyle, without expecting that it will directly clear you up. Like really, take up something thinking : I'm doing this for better sleep/digestion/energy or whatever it could be. Like with the apple cider vinegar (I'm not preaching you should use of course, just using as an example to illustrate what I mean), if you start drinking it before every meal expecting that your face will improve, you will most likely be disappointed, because no change will occur in any reasonable time, but the step towards getting to the problem is taken - maybe it will slowly start improving your digestion, regulate blood glucose levels, then you improve your diet, workout, improve sleep... You know, cause it's good for every human being! When we have a good base it's much much easier to clear our acne as well, cause why would it thrive in a healthy body?
So my point is - don't do things for acne, do things around it, if that makes sense. A cure for each of us is usually a combination of things, not one solution, as much as we would like to...
As for relationship part - same here, don't make it your goal. Make being happy your goal.

 

Well that's actually a very insightful resolve but it's easier said than done, The most important concept I try to implement into my daily overthinking routine is a tool of emptying my brain of negative thoughts and replenishing it with optimistic ones but there's always more to it than meets the eye. I can't just snap out of the mentality that has been stuck with me my entire life "oversensitive to an indescribable extent in addition to obsessive-compulsive disorder" it's something tattooed into my genes so being stressed-out, Worried and terrified about every little detail is not something I've any control over that's just how my brain involuntarily functions.

 

Recently I've been going through hell to even have a good night's sleep because I'm always under the impression that I'm gonna have a pile of nightmares and that's actually what happens most of the time in a really disturbing way it takes me about 4 hours to get out of my absent-minded mood thinking about all the freakishly bizarre stuff that happened in my sleep it's a horror festival down there Lol, My mind has always been so malicious to me if only it listens to the voice of reason for once just for a change and stop being overwhelmingly strict

 

Sorry for rambling on about unnecessary events needed to vent out.


I don't know who told you that it's "in your genes", but please don't believe that crap we are told to believe to make ourselves feel useless. I was also convinced by my relatives, that being mentally unstable was meant for me, because of my dad and his parents, where one was an alcoholic, and the other committed suicide. Not only was I told that I'm mentally fucked up because of bad genes, but I was always treated like this fragile, sickly child who'll break into two if not careful enough. My mom always made every single cough a huge deal, and pitied me, which made me grow up thinking I'm weak and meant to have acne and be sick and act crazy. It's like programming yourself for failure. When I found a way to not let such things get to me, I couldn't understand why I let myself believe that. 
If your mind is stuck in a certain way of thinking, like compulsiveness and negativity, there's nothing wrong in seeking help in psychiatry, just think that there is a certain chemical process happening in your brain, and modern medicine have already figured out how to active certain brain parts and deactivate the others. Just don't be paralyzed by "I am meant to be this way", cause we can modify ourselves.

About the sleeping part - I understand you completely, it's a hell for me too - every time I go to sleep my brain is switched on to start analyzing things from the past, and if I finally fall asleep then I have a myriad of vivid, exhausting dreams. Tonight I finally slept well and what helped me was simply earplugs. Somehow, when all the world around you is muted, my brain was muted also. Didn't have bad dreams either, cause maybe when you're not actively thinking before falling asleep, it doesn't activate it somehow, I don't know. Try earplugs, feels weird at first, but it works to shut that nasty brain! :)




#3456563 Ever Feel Suicidal?

Posted by Pianina on 18 October 2014 - 01:01 PM

Hey guys, hope you're all doing ok. I started my fraxel re:store course, so far it's looking bright. I didn't have too big expectations from the first session as it was promised to me, that I'll see 15% of improvement and I'm sure that's exactly what I got. Every % matters when it comes to improvement. I was told that I'll need approximately 5 sessions, it's a lot of money, but I'm borrowing them from my parents, who aren't even rich, but they understand how important it is for me. I'm really thankful. 
I became a bit more obsessed with my scars after getting fraxel done, because I was forced to follow the progression and it affected me negatively. So now, when the result is final, I started avoiding any bathroom mirrors. I literally use the wc and wash my face in darkness. It helps a lot to keep my spirit, cause I'm not staring at my scars so much. Bathroom mirrors are terrible! Who invented such unflattering lights lol :D Don't look at them, it's not how other people see us!! Scars are not that visible in normal room lights :) 




#3455357 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by Pianina on 10 October 2014 - 04:20 AM

Hey guys! Just wanted to share my experience with Fraxel re:store so far, treating my rolling scars left over by cystic acne. 1,5 weeks ago I got my first treatment done and I can't tell you how excited I am about the results!! No, my scars haven't magically disappeared yet, but I am very pleased with the improvement. Before going under the laser, I made sure I have realistic expectations from this treatment, maybe that's why it wasn't a disappointment. Fraxel re:store promises 15-20% improvement each time and that's exactly what I got. I noticed that the scars are not as deep and some smaller ones have become smoother. I haven't gotten any side effects! The Fraxel reviews are pretty low on this site, but I suspect that it's all about not having hopes that 1-2 treatments will solve it all. We'll see how it's gonna go later, but so far I'd recommend fraxel for sure. :)




#3451981 Ever Feel Suicidal?

Posted by Pianina on 14 September 2014 - 06:30 AM


"I was battling borderline personality disorder, depression and self-harming at the age of 17-21, along with cystic acne until age 24. But as dark as the world can look at that moment, somewhere in my mind I kept a voice telling me that there is light in a tunnel and it's really not worth taking more serious measures like ending my life. That is what I would tell other people nurturing some suicidal thoughts - however bad is it right now, there are no reasons important enough to commit suicide, just like you seek for support in a forum (which means you're conscious about the problem), look for ways to help yourself. It can really get better, at least the depression part! "

 

 

Ohhh. I'm sorry if I sounded harsh, and I'm sorry you've suffered. Didn't mean to have a go, but I just thought you were coming from a different place with things you'd said. But for what it's worth, next week I'm having my blood taken by my GP, then finally getting my referral to a dermatologist. I'm trying to stay positive as much as possible, and keep away from mirror checking all day every day
 


That's great! I really hope you will find a way out and not checking mirrors is good to keep yourself from obsessing with the scars. Myself I always avoid the mirrors in the public bathrooms or my reflection on a smartphone screen, when the sun shines directly to it. That's when it looks really bad, so I just put the phone away, hehe. My friend always laughs at me, cause I have a very weak light on while I'm in the bathroom or sometimes I don't take it on at all. Just choose to not see my flaw! 



u might not believe in destiny but things will happen every day that you have no control over ...if u don't believe me look at your past


Destiny is just a justification to make yourself feel better about the outcomes of some things...Nothing more, but a coincidence though... 




#3451897 Ever Feel Suicidal?

Posted by Pianina on 13 September 2014 - 05:34 PM

Pianina

Just gotta echo missamua's thoughts on this. If it doesn't affect you that's great. Really. But for a lot of people it does, and being so condescending doesn't really help anyone does it? From the title of the thread it should be obvious that maybe I just wanted support or some type of connection with someone who'd been through similar experiences.

 

Facial scarring is something that can take over your life, whether you have a strong character or not. Combine depression into that, and it's a struggle for a lot of people. Maybe you don't understand it, and that's fine, but to just dismiss the fact that people's lives are in ruins and put it down to being 'weak' is something I thought we'd left in the past as a society 50 years ago.

 

Your thoughts on depression are clearly the thoughts of someone who's never suffered from it, nor understands it, so to say someone suffering depression or any mental illness is just a weak link is just silly. Look at Robin Williams for instance. Rich, famous, loved the world over, achieved things most can only dream of, yet still took his own life. There were millions of people far worse off in the world. Would you consider him a 'weak link'?

I've steered from the topic, and I don't mean to have a go, but people who stigmatize mental illness the way you do are a massive part of the problem, and it's the people suffering who bear the brunt of your ignorance.


I was battling borderline personality disorder, depression and self-harming at the age of 17-21, along with cystic acne until age 24. But as dark as the world can look at that moment, somewhere in my mind I kept a voice telling me that there is light in a tunnel and it's really not worth taking more serious measures like ending my life. That is what I would tell other people nurturing some suicidal thoughts - however bad is it right now, there are no reasons important enough to commit suicide, just like you seek for support in a forum (which means you're conscious about the problem), look for ways to help yourself. It can really get better, at least the depression part! 

 




#3451866 Ever Feel Suicidal?

Posted by Pianina on 13 September 2014 - 10:16 AM

I agree with most of what you said...but nobody "chooses" to have severe depression which is a serious mental illness that needs treatment. Telling someone it's all in their head isn't all that helpful. It's great that you can live with your scarring and aren't severely depressed over it, but many people are and it's important not to negate the feelings someone has over their scarring even if it differs from how you feel about yours. Most people on here aren't vain or shallow...they just want to look the way they used to.  On another note, if you are having suicidal thoughts, i'd definitely recommend seeing someone for it and getting help. 

Everybody knows someone who has whether acne or scars. Most people find scars even less visually disturbing than acne, frankly, since it's not something actively growing on your face. But even acne is such a normality nowadays that nobody cares. I see people with really bad skin issues everyday, it struck me recently how many people actually have whether acne or scars. Literally masses! Myself I have a nasty scarring myself, which i definitely dislike a lot and gonna soon try to treat with laser, but never thought of it as something that could put me down as much as my cystic acne used to. When the outside world doesn't care, it's all in your head and you should work with yourself instead of letting suicidal thoughts grow and nurture them. We can't give into destructive thoughts just because of an aesthetic flaw, it's just so unfair to all those people who die everyday for different reasons they couldn't choose, while all they wanted was to live. I know, you (talking in general), who is preoccupied with yourself and your image, couldn't care less about those people, but just think if it's really worth losing your life for not having a perfect complexion? Talk to a professional, get some treatments done, work with your inner critic, just stop caring about shallow things -  fight it. 

                  Well yea, if youre depressed already, only professional help will matter, but most people allow themselves to sink deeper and deeper into depression by acting like they have no control over their lives. It's always easiest to find a reason why you shouldn't get up and fight against what's making you unhappy, cause it actually takes a huge effort to do that. It's easy to just succumb and let the life chew and spit you out. But do you really want to be someone who everyone considers "just the weak link of the natural selection"? The truth is that there is always a way out, but usually that way demands more, than people are willing to give... We hear about people, who achieved something against all odds, who did the impossible and fixing your scars with the technology we have nowadays isnt even an impossibility. So whats there to sweat about? Having severe burn scars on your face might be troubling, but acne scars doesnt change who you are what are your facial features. Scars aren't disgusting. Scars are treatable. So be stubborn, dont look for reasons to not  put effort and just let yourself get depressed. You beat acne, youll beat this too.


#3427382 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by Pianina on 20 April 2014 - 03:38 AM

Hey guys!
I'm rarely logging in here, but this time I just wanted to say that any side-effects I was initially having from Yasmin+Spiro have disappeared some time ago and I literally have no acne any more. Sometimes I instinctively take out my retinoid cream to do some spot treatment and after I rarely ever try where to apply it. There are no breakouts, not even small. 9 months on Yasmin and 6 on Spiro -  I'm 100 % clear.
My example is individual of course, and acne might come back after I stop taking these medications, but I can only share my positive experience so far and hope that maybe it will encourage someone with PCOS to look into birth control, as it's not such an evil.
 




#3418690 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by Pianina on 06 March 2014 - 04:58 AM

My face is the clearest it has been in many years. I haven't had a single inflamed pimple or a cyst in such a long time now, my moods are stable and my periods are regular. But I realize I won't be on bcp forever. In about a year or something, I plan to slowly wean off Yasmin at the same time increasing spiro. Spiro's side effects are annoying (frequent wc need and slightly upset stomach sometimes really get on my nerves), but it's better than the blood cloth risk.
Though not having acne makes life so much easier, even with few side-effects. My self-confidence is slowly coming back.   




#3414768 Let's Be Real Guy's

Posted by Pianina on 17 February 2014 - 02:53 PM

Not having acne isn't enough. Desperation and low self-esteem is not attractive, with acne or not. 




#3395369 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by Pianina on 17 November 2013 - 02:15 PM

LOL Yes so far its wonderful smile.png I'm wondering if I'm speaking too soon about not having an IB, curious to know if you had one and if so, how far along where u on Spiro when you got the IB?

 

I'm extremely happy since I haven't had any major break outs now going on 4 months!!! I've been on Spiro almost a month next week and nothing but good stuff is happening to my skin but I hope I'm not speaking too soon lol smile.png I've been able to eat anything I want including trigger foods n drinks I wouldn't dare touch before like chocolate and coffee! I really believe the Spiro is working! My 19 year old son is visiting me next week and staying for 5 days, I want to be able to go to the malls, go shopping, eat out, drive around town, mingle with people and not be worried about acne! Spiro seems to be my miracle cure!! I have suffered with acne for 27 years and finally found something that actually is working without going on Accutane again.



Spiro works for me to! GO SPIRO!! lol smile.png


I haven't had one, but I was on Yasmin when I started Spiro 3-4 weeks ago. Before Spiro I was taking Androcur, which is also an anti-androgen, so maybe my body is already used to such things, though you never know. Don't be paranoid about the IB and enjoy the time you're clear - if you get one, it will be nothing you can do (and it will go away), so better not to worry about anything. :) 




#3395345 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by Pianina on 17 November 2013 - 11:53 AM

I'm extremely happy since I haven't had any major break outs now going on 4 months!!! I've been on Spiro almost a month next week and nothing but good stuff is happening to my skin but I hope I'm not speaking too soon lol smile.png I've been able to eat anything I want including trigger foods n drinks I wouldn't dare touch before like chocolate and coffee! I really believe the Spiro is working! My 19 year old son is visiting me next week and staying for 5 days, I want to be able to go to the malls, go shopping, eat out, drive around town, mingle with people and not be worried about acne! Spiro seems to be my miracle cure!! I have suffered with acne for 27 years and finally found something that actually is working without going on Accutane again.



Spiro works for me to! GO SPIRO!! lol :)




#3395179 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by Pianina on 16 November 2013 - 06:25 PM

Hey guys! It's been a while - since I was unfairly scolded on this thread, for writing a post full of jealousy and insecurity, didn't feel like posting here. But there are some things I wanted to say - there is hope out there! Even chronic moderate acne sufferers like me can find a cure. Today (or tomorrow, not quite sure) marks a month since I got my last breakout. It's been the clearest month in my life since a very long time - I literally got not a single pimple, despite these factors: sudden climate and sleeping regime change + change back to regular; eating whatever the heck I wanted eat (except dairy, but I don't like it anyway), including candies, potatoes, loads of bread and pasta, exotic fruits I never tasted and all kinds of foods that are usually named as triggers. I'm only telling that to point out that not always there is a link between acne and diet, and everyone should be able to find for themselves and not blindly follow the recommendations to eliminate foods.
I'm on Yasmin + 50 mg Spiro, and haven't had a single smallest breakout in a month. In 6 months time I'm planning to slowly increase my Spiro dose and decrease Yasmin, until I'm only taking Spiro.
Good luck everyone smile.png     

This is amazing! I think I may have to jump on the Spiro bandwagon. I'm getting a few spots still, but they've greatly reduced since going on Beyaz. I bet Spiro would just push me to full clarity! lol biggrin.png So happy for you!!


Try adding a small dose of Spiro, maybe that will do the trick :) For me, bcp alone didn't clear me 100%, but the combo does :) 




#3394876 How ya feelin' about your acne today?

Posted by Pianina on 15 November 2013 - 03:49 AM

Hey guys! It's been a while - since I was unfairly scolded on this thread, for writing a post full of jealousy and insecurity, didn't feel like posting here. But there are some things I wanted to say - there is hope out there! Even chronic moderate acne sufferers like me can find a cure. Today (or tomorrow, not quite sure) marks a month since I got my last breakout. It's been the clearest month in my life since a very long time - I literally got not a single pimple, despite these factors: sudden climate and sleeping regime change + change back to regular; eating whatever the heck I wanted eat (except dairy, but I don't like it anyway), including candies, potatoes, loads of bread and pasta, exotic fruits I never tasted and all kinds of foods that are usually named as triggers. I'm only telling that to point out that not always there is a link between acne and diet, and everyone should be able to find for themselves and not blindly follow the recommendations to eliminate foods.
I'm on Yasmin + 50 mg Spiro, and haven't had a single smallest breakout in a month. In 6 months time I'm planning to slowly increase my Spiro dose and decrease Yasmin, until I'm only taking Spiro.
Good luck everyone :)