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Pianina

Member Since 11 Jan 2013
Offline Last Active Today, 12:29 PM

Posts I've Made

In Topic: you know its bad when..

Yesterday, 02:29 PM

...when you find out some new cysts forming under your skin and you express your devastation by punching yourself in the face. Hard. Then lie about your bruises. Seriously, I used to do that some years ago, can't believe it...                                               ...when you can't stand the sight of yourself so much that you only calm down after cutting your arm with the scissors. Also past experience. O_O.                       ...when you believe that not eating food makes your face better.                                        ...when you are hospitalized because of not eating food.            Yup, this all has happened in the past. Feels like it wasn't me, like it was some distant dream. If only i could hug the old me and told that I shouldn't feel hopeless and stay strong looking for a cure. Cause there is no question without an answer, no problem without solution...

In Topic: How ya feelin' about your acne today?

23 October 2014 - 04:25 AM

October's one of the worst months for me skin, and now that it's getting colder, dryness kicks in as well! What i've noticed (which havent before), it's like acne epidemy here in Stockholm. I see many people (mostly girls and women) with really bad acne everyday. Most people have some flaws, or scars, or breakouts. I wonder what is happening with people's lifestyles, eating and sleeping habbits, seems like everyone is so into their smartphones (including me), stressed, busy, eating a lot of shitty foods... Never have i realized so many have acne in this city...

In Topic: Ever Feel Suicidal?

21 October 2014 - 03:00 PM

 

 

 

Very inspirational story and I get from it that you were able to extinguish and overcome the negative beliefs you had your entire life, It has always been a pleasure knowing that other people are actually making progress and successfully managing to make a turn of events regardless of what the circumstances are you know that's about the only behavior that momentarily brings back hope.

 

I've talked to a psychiatrist but I stopped having sessions because I refused to be put on any antidepressant "That's where my mental disorders plays its well-deserved role of keeping my life at it's current state of ruination and sufferance" I know it will improve my mood and work wonders at first but I'm afraid that it will be followed by an utter loss of hope because I've always wanted to treat my scars and acne which was the substantial factor of aggravating my condition in the first place then I came to the realization that it can't be done after having undergone many procedures and treatments "Laser-peeling ... etc" without any noticeable result. However right now I'm seriously considering the possibility of being treated psychologically but I'm horrified because it's my last resolve and I've exhausted any concept or method of improving my life.

 

And thanks for the advice I'm definitely gonna try earplugs/sleeping mask if that's what it takes to have a good night's sleep, I'm just afraid that by deactivating my other human senses it will stimulate my brain to overthink even more Loool. Sorry for being sarcastic in such a context it's just the way I deal with my depression lately by laughing about it.


I am happy to hear that my story, though only momentarily, gave you some positive feeling. :)
We're often stuck in a certain behavior or way of thinking because of many different circumstances, but people around us don't realize that and immediately start sticking labels that it's something expected, normal, typical for us... I hate that. 


You sound like someone who's really good at analyzing yourself, Khaled. Don't think of psychiatry as last resort, it's actually a first step! You will be able to continue your journey towards getting better skin with more relaxed mind. About the scarring - might be really hard to reach anywhere close to perfection, while fixing them, but is it really needed? Some people will find them unattractive, but there are also people who'll find your body shape, nose, voice, the way you chew your food (lol) unattractive - we'll never satisfy all. And the worst part is, we'll never satisfy ourselves :D 

Hehe, well it might depend from person to person, but for me, when i mute the outside world, my brain seems to not be interested in thinking anymore :D I think sounds and lights trigger the brain. Also make sure it's not only dark because of the eye mask, but it's dark in the room generally (no blinking pc lights etc), cause then your brain will start making melatonin which will put you to sleep. 
 


In Topic: Ever Feel Suicidal?

21 October 2014 - 05:18 AM

 

 

 



Khaled, I would maybe say stop having expectations based solely on clearing acne. We, who suffer from this condition, try out diets and medications with the only goal - to clear our faces, often forgetting that we should first of all start off by improving our overall health. Try making steps to a generally healthier lifestyle, without expecting that it will directly clear you up. Like really, take up something thinking : I'm doing this for better sleep/digestion/energy or whatever it could be. Like with the apple cider vinegar (I'm not preaching you should use of course, just using as an example to illustrate what I mean), if you start drinking it before every meal expecting that your face will improve, you will most likely be disappointed, because no change will occur in any reasonable time, but the step towards getting to the problem is taken - maybe it will slowly start improving your digestion, regulate blood glucose levels, then you improve your diet, workout, improve sleep... You know, cause it's good for every human being! When we have a good base it's much much easier to clear our acne as well, cause why would it thrive in a healthy body?
So my point is - don't do things for acne, do things around it, if that makes sense. A cure for each of us is usually a combination of things, not one solution, as much as we would like to...
As for relationship part - same here, don't make it your goal. Make being happy your goal.

 

Well that's actually a very insightful resolve but it's easier said than done, The most important concept I try to implement into my daily overthinking routine is a tool of emptying my brain of negative thoughts and replenishing it with optimistic ones but there's always more to it than meets the eye. I can't just snap out of the mentality that has been stuck with me my entire life "oversensitive to an indescribable extent in addition to obsessive-compulsive disorder" it's something tattooed into my genes so being stressed-out, Worried and terrified about every little detail is not something I've any control over that's just how my brain involuntarily functions.

 

Recently I've been going through hell to even have a good night's sleep because I'm always under the impression that I'm gonna have a pile of nightmares and that's actually what happens most of the time in a really disturbing way it takes me about 4 hours to get out of my absent-minded mood thinking about all the freakishly bizarre stuff that happened in my sleep it's a horror festival down there Lol, My mind has always been so malicious to me if only it listens to the voice of reason for once just for a change and stop being overwhelmingly strict

 

Sorry for rambling on about unnecessary events needed to vent out.


I don't know who told you that it's "in your genes", but please don't believe that crap we are told to believe to make ourselves feel useless. I was also convinced by my relatives, that being mentally unstable was meant for me, because of my dad and his parents, where one was an alcoholic, and the other committed suicide. Not only was I told that I'm mentally fucked up because of bad genes, but I was always treated like this fragile, sickly child who'll break into two if not careful enough. My mom always made every single cough a huge deal, and pitied me, which made me grow up thinking I'm weak and meant to have acne and be sick and act crazy. It's like programming yourself for failure. When I found a way to not let such things get to me, I couldn't understand why I let myself believe that. 
If your mind is stuck in a certain way of thinking, like compulsiveness and negativity, there's nothing wrong in seeking help in psychiatry, just think that there is a certain chemical process happening in your brain, and modern medicine have already figured out how to active certain brain parts and deactivate the others. Just don't be paralyzed by "I am meant to be this way", cause we can modify ourselves.

About the sleeping part - I understand you completely, it's a hell for me too - every time I go to sleep my brain is switched on to start analyzing things from the past, and if I finally fall asleep then I have a myriad of vivid, exhausting dreams. Tonight I finally slept well and what helped me was simply earplugs. Somehow, when all the world around you is muted, my brain was muted also. Didn't have bad dreams either, cause maybe when you're not actively thinking before falling asleep, it doesn't activate it somehow, I don't know. Try earplugs, feels weird at first, but it works to shut that nasty brain! :)


In Topic: Ever Feel Suicidal?

20 October 2014 - 10:02 AM

 

Thanks for being understanding and considerate, The thing is lately my nutrition is atrocious because whenever I'm quite depressed I take comfort in food, Fortunately I'm one of those guys who stay skinny regardless of the huge amount of food they consume honestly It's the only thing I can think of right now to be thankful for, However I think that's the reason why I breakout a lot recently especially around my mouth and chin I tried to have a good diet for 5 months or so and the attempt didn't pay off as I thought it would my face slightly cleared up but not to the point of satisfaction thus I'm frightened of trying to experiment again because I get traumatized every time I try something new that doesn't get me even half the result I was hoping for.



Khaled, I would maybe say stop having expectations based solely on clearing acne. We, who suffer from this condition, try out diets and medications with the only goal - to clear our faces, often forgetting that we should first of all start off by improving our overall health. Try making steps to a generally healthier lifestyle, without expecting that it will directly clear you up. Like really, take up something thinking : I'm doing this for better sleep/digestion/energy or whatever it could be. Like with the apple cider vinegar (I'm not preaching you should use of course, just using as an example to illustrate what I mean), if you start drinking it before every meal expecting that your face will improve, you will most likely be disappointed, because no change will occur in any reasonable time, but the step towards getting to the problem is taken - maybe it will slowly start improving your digestion, regulate blood glucose levels, then you improve your diet, workout, improve sleep... You know, cause it's good for every human being! When we have a good base it's much much easier to clear our acne as well, cause why would it thrive in a healthy body?
So my point is - don't do things for acne, do things around it, if that makes sense. A cure for each of us is usually a combination of things, not one solution, as much as we would like to...
As for relationship part - same here, don't make it your goal. Make being happy your goal. :)