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Pianina

Member Since 11 Jan 2013
Offline Last Active Today, 07:37 AM

Posts I've Made

In Topic: Ever Feel Suicidal?

28 October 2014 - 05:26 AM

Treat your body like a temple... So true. I got drunk on saturday and i can swear it made my scars look worse. Probably cause my skin is now flat and dull. Eh.. :(

In Topic: How ya feelin' about your acne today?

28 October 2014 - 05:23 AM

Ugh, so angry at myself... Got really drunk last saturday and not only did it ruin ballance in my stomach i worked for so long, but it also made my skin flat, dull, scars got sunken deep in, got a couple of breakouts... How could i have done this to myself :(

In Topic: you know its bad when..

24 October 2014 - 02:29 PM

...when you find out some new cysts forming under your skin and you express your devastation by punching yourself in the face. Hard. Then lie about your bruises. Seriously, I used to do that some years ago, can't believe it...                                               ...when you can't stand the sight of yourself so much that you only calm down after cutting your arm with the scissors. Also past experience. O_O.                       ...when you believe that not eating food makes your face better.                                        ...when you are hospitalized because of not eating food.            Yup, this all has happened in the past. Feels like it wasn't me, like it was some distant dream. If only i could hug the old me and told that I shouldn't feel hopeless and stay strong looking for a cure. Cause there is no question without an answer, no problem without solution...

In Topic: How ya feelin' about your acne today?

23 October 2014 - 04:25 AM

October's one of the worst months for me skin, and now that it's getting colder, dryness kicks in as well! What i've noticed (which havent before), it's like acne epidemy here in Stockholm. I see many people (mostly girls and women) with really bad acne everyday. Most people have some flaws, or scars, or breakouts. I wonder what is happening with people's lifestyles, eating and sleeping habbits, seems like everyone is so into their smartphones (including me), stressed, busy, eating a lot of shitty foods... Never have i realized so many have acne in this city...

In Topic: Ever Feel Suicidal?

21 October 2014 - 03:00 PM

 

 

 

Very inspirational story and I get from it that you were able to extinguish and overcome the negative beliefs you had your entire life, It has always been a pleasure knowing that other people are actually making progress and successfully managing to make a turn of events regardless of what the circumstances are you know that's about the only behavior that momentarily brings back hope.

 

I've talked to a psychiatrist but I stopped having sessions because I refused to be put on any antidepressant "That's where my mental disorders plays its well-deserved role of keeping my life at it's current state of ruination and sufferance" I know it will improve my mood and work wonders at first but I'm afraid that it will be followed by an utter loss of hope because I've always wanted to treat my scars and acne which was the substantial factor of aggravating my condition in the first place then I came to the realization that it can't be done after having undergone many procedures and treatments "Laser-peeling ... etc" without any noticeable result. However right now I'm seriously considering the possibility of being treated psychologically but I'm horrified because it's my last resolve and I've exhausted any concept or method of improving my life.

 

And thanks for the advice I'm definitely gonna try earplugs/sleeping mask if that's what it takes to have a good night's sleep, I'm just afraid that by deactivating my other human senses it will stimulate my brain to overthink even more Loool. Sorry for being sarcastic in such a context it's just the way I deal with my depression lately by laughing about it.


I am happy to hear that my story, though only momentarily, gave you some positive feeling. :)
We're often stuck in a certain behavior or way of thinking because of many different circumstances, but people around us don't realize that and immediately start sticking labels that it's something expected, normal, typical for us... I hate that. 


You sound like someone who's really good at analyzing yourself, Khaled. Don't think of psychiatry as last resort, it's actually a first step! You will be able to continue your journey towards getting better skin with more relaxed mind. About the scarring - might be really hard to reach anywhere close to perfection, while fixing them, but is it really needed? Some people will find them unattractive, but there are also people who'll find your body shape, nose, voice, the way you chew your food (lol) unattractive - we'll never satisfy all. And the worst part is, we'll never satisfy ourselves :D 

Hehe, well it might depend from person to person, but for me, when i mute the outside world, my brain seems to not be interested in thinking anymore :D I think sounds and lights trigger the brain. Also make sure it's not only dark because of the eye mask, but it's dark in the room generally (no blinking pc lights etc), cause then your brain will start making melatonin which will put you to sleep.