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songbirdsing

Member Since 12 Dec 2012
Offline Last Active Jul 31 2014 08:37 PM

Posts I've Made

In Topic: No Dairy Diet

12 January 2013 - 05:43 PM

I'd personally keep up with it for at least a month to see if there are any changes.  A week might not be enough time for your body to adjust.  I went off of dairy in September....didn't really help my acne really  I noticed when I have consumed dairy my face feels more oily than normal....However, I've stayed off for other reasons but indulged on Christmas and New Years....that and the large amounts of sugar and my face is STILL paying the price.  My face is starting to heal but it is not an overnight thing.

In Topic: Acne & Super Dry Winter Skin

11 January 2013 - 09:20 PM

I came on to look for this exact topic....mine is partially because I started a new sulfur spot treatment.  I have used sulfur in the past but not this brand/% and my skin is already dry from the winter (though parts get oily ugh).  I am not finding much luck at the moment.  Even the OCM is not helping me.  I am interested to know if anyone has any advice.

In Topic: Do Girls Care About Acne? Tips For Guys With Acne

04 January 2013 - 05:43 PM

I think even though I suffer from acne, that doesn't give me a biased opinion.  I used to be overweight and WAS NOT attracted to overweight guys. I always found thinner guys to be more attractive and still do.  I know what attractive is....and I don't think that acne (unless it is deforming) detracts from a guys appearance.  Perhaps those things might be a deal breaker with some girls, but I think it depends on the girl.  My tastes might be strange as I prefer asymmetrical things on a guy...like a crooked smile or whatever.




And as far as your standards are concerned... Being less appealing to these girls who reject is only bothering to you, I assume, if you are interested in the same type of relationship they are i.e. one where it's more about fulfilling some need (sex, "having fun", status of whatever) than it is about two people who love each other. ..I would have to say. Posted Image Please don't take that as criticism.


It's not a black and white issue, though. It's not as though people care about just looks or just personality. Both matter. Even people that value personality much higher typically are going to care about looks to an extent, even a small one. There are very few people that care strictly about personality. Even the people here who have acne care about looks to some extent. Acne just happens to be something they're empathetic/forgiving of because they had deal with it themselves. You don't need to look like a movie star or be perfect because pretty much no one is, but if you're just downright unpleasent to look at you're just extremely unlikely to even get a chance. And I don't think that makes them bad people, that's just the way humans are.


You should go up to some women and tell them about your insecurity regarding your acne. You'll probably feel a lot better once it's out in the open and you've actually heard what some women think. Posted Image Seriously, give it a try.


I believe it would be difficult to get honest answers that way; most people won't say things like that directly to you because they don't want to hurt your feelings. However, like I said, my mother would make negative comments about my skin; and she's someone who has no reason to even care about my looks at all so I know that I have it to the extent where it's a very negative trait.

It's really hard to find studies on this, however, it's really easy to find studies on height, for example. There are plenty of women (not all, but still a lot) who won't date a guy shorter than them or, more rarely, even just below a certain height. So, if it's so common for guys to be disqauilified based on their height I don't see why people want to deny the same things happens for acne/scars.


I found that mothers like to say negative things for no particular reason.  Or maybe that's just my mother.

In Topic: Do Girls Care About Acne? Tips For Guys With Acne

30 December 2012 - 07:34 PM


I have dated guys with acne and never thought twice about it. Though, I do agree with nakedsmurf that girls who have skin problems are probably more accepting of guys with skin problems, so I can't speak from a been-perflectly-clear-my-whole-life point of view. However, my younger sister who was blessed with beautiful skin (I got the shitty genes, of course) dated a guy with pretty bad acne and that did not stop her from eventually marrying him. I know that for us, a guy's confidence, personality, chivalry, humor and thoughtfulness far outweigh any concern of skin issues. I can't stress enough how far confidence can take you! The quickest way to turn a girl off would be crippling insecurity, but there is nothing wrong with having some transparency with the issue if you reach a point in your relationship where you can speak honestly about such concerns. I think most significant others would be surprised by the insecurities and not see the issue as magnified as we often view things about ourselves. And of course, if they're worth your time, they will be loving and supportive about it all. Anyhoo, my two cents!


So when a girl meets a guy who's insecure she goes "Next!" but when she meets a guy who is "confident" she stays interested. And then when later the guy says "You know, I act confident and all but a lot of the time I'm actually quite insecure" she goes "That's ok!". It just seems like a contradiction?


I think everyone is insecure in some respect...but the fact that you overcome your insecurity to behave as confident is much like overcoming fear. Most times when we overcome a fear, it's not because a fear has suddenly gone away....it is living with the emotions of fear to come out on the other side of it. I don't see it as a contradiction, but building strength. Insecurities usually just don't go away even if the "problem" does. For example, I used to weigh about 40 lbs more (at my very short height that is significant)....I've been thin for almost 3 years now and struggled for a long time with the mentality of being overweight. The insecurity remained despite my weight being gone. The act of me behaving confident in my body is what is helping to change my perspective.

And as for OP's question of what is confidence....i think it's being who you are and not acting ashamed of that. It's presenting yourself to the world and not apologizing for your imperfections. It's not looking to the ground all the time or putting yourself down. I think being confident is being aware of your weaknesses, but concentrating on your strengths. If you're the funny guy, or a good listener, or good at sports, or an expert on a particular subject....you let those things shine while not being full of yourself....

In Topic: Do Girls Care About Acne? Tips For Guys With Acne

29 December 2012 - 01:33 PM

Some girls AND some guys will definitely be very cruel when it comes to acne depending on the serverity of it. back when I still had substantial scarring from a bout of acne brought on from protein shakes I overheard a conversation between a girl I was close friends with and her friend. She basically asked her friend if she was interetested in dating me and her friend replied, no his face has too many scars. When I heard this I was pissed off and hurt at first but i got over it. So basically... if the person you are interested in make the fact you have acne or scars from it a deal breaker when it comes to being dating material then just steer clear of them, and try not to get hurt and take it personal which IMO is the hardest part. If a person is that shallow to make something like that so important in their considerations before even giving you a chance then I personally would not want to date them in the first place no matter how perfect they may think they are.


That's awful! I have found many girls to be shallow about stupider things though....When I was in high school my friend didn't want to date a guy because "he talked with too much saliva in his mouth"...um..ok. I don't really believe in karma, but I have noticed many of the girls that think they are too good end up getting fat or looking a hot mess later in life anyway.