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UnacceptedRealist

Member Since 18 Jul 2012
Offline Last Active Apr 15 2014 05:49 PM

Topics I've Started

I'm Not Worthy Of Being In A Relationship?

15 September 2013 - 01:49 AM

During my time lurking on this forum, I've noticed that one of the more common complaints is that 'society' does not accept those who suffer from acne.  I've especially seen this sentiment implied through threads concerning social activities -- specifically, meaningful relationships.  For instance, although I assume most people here suffer from acne, it seems like the majority are either in a relationship or striving to be in one.  And the acne, if an issue at all, is something that bothers other people.  I know that you're not happy about your appearance, but it seems like it has almost no impact on your desires.  Take, for example, this hypothetical scenario:

 

You're currently single and there is one person you've been attracted to for a long time.  But, you've always thought of them as being "out of your league", never really viewing a relationship as a realistic possibility.  Then -- from seemingly out of the blue -- they start interacting with you; eventually, this interaction leads them to clearly demonstrate that they're 'interested' in you, too.

 

Do you pursue this relationship?

 

Seems like 'yes' is the obvious answer, right?  Well, for me, the answer would be 'no.'  I know, that sounds crazy, but, honestly, that would be my response; as the title states, I don't view myself as being worthy of such an honor.  I mean, I feel that anyone that I'm attracted to is, at some level, objectively attractive and I know that I am not.  I'm just being realistic; I have acne, acne scarring, and discoloration from acne, and I know that this makes me unattractive.  Maybe I'm too proud.  Perhaps I'm too superficial.  I don't know.  But, regardless, I simply cannot come to terms with being in a relationship with someone I deem attractive while knowing I am not.  It seems unfair; I feel they deserve better.  Thus, I have lost all desire to pursue such a relationship.  Not because I fear rejection from 'society', but because I have rejected myself.  Now, I know this seems entirely unhealthy, but I'm not necessarily unhappy.  In fact, I'd probably be less happy in a relationship.

 

Also, for clarification, I don't believe it's impossible to be attractive with acne; it's just that, in my case, I know that I am unattractive -- by any reasonable standard.

 

I'd love to hear any thoughts, opinions or advice you have.


Struggling With Guilt...

01 September 2012 - 11:32 PM

Hello everyone,

Over the past few months I have made some mindset changes that have greatly benefited my quality of life. I have been able to make progress in dealing with some of the self-consciousness and anger that have plagued my life.

However, I have found it extremely difficult to alleviate the feelings of guilt that I, seemingly, experience everyday. Everytime I look at my reflection I see severe (from my perspective atleast) scarring. Moreover, I can't help thinking that if I was more preemptive in my treatment of acne, initially I didn't take it seriously enough, I would not have scarring to the extent that I now do. This is a terrible feeling, as there is nothing I can do. Also, these feelings have hindered my ability to sleep; I find myself wishing I could go back in time and take a more serious appoach to acne from the beggining.

Therefore, first of all, I was wondering if anyone has experienced anything similar? Secondly, do you have any advice to dealing with this kind of guilt?

Thanks in advance!