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UnacceptedRealist

Member Since 18 Jul 2012
Offline Last Active Jul 21 2014 02:53 PM

Posts I've Made

In Topic: Lol @ People Who Think "confidence" Gets You A Girlfriend

03 May 2014 - 11:47 AM

Complaining and blaming doesn't get you a girlfriend either. I am also sick of it. That's why I am building a new civilization. In the new civilization people will learn that acne is a skin issue, not contagious cancer.

 

I doubt your new civilization would be any different.  The issue isn't that people think acne is a "contagious cancer"; it's that acne is a skin issue -- in other words, it's an objectively unappealing trait.  For this reason, I don't think most people need to "learn" anything; they're already correct: people with acne are, to some extent, aesthetically unappealing.


In Topic: Why Is Acne Viewed As A Joke By Society?

17 December 2013 - 06:58 PM

Quite simply, because "society" doesn't understand it.  Generally speaking, people only care about things they've been forced to understand through personal experience.  And, to be honest, I think this site is a great example of this -- people often use their own experience with acne as a basis for their overall opinion about it.  They're quick to demean acne by either comparing it to more "serious" conditions or by offering simple means of treating it.  Around here you may not hear things like "you need to wash your face more often," but the same sentiment is shared (in more indirect ways) quite often.

 

Is this "wrong"? 

 

Perhaps -- but, at the same time, I don't think it's fair to declare people as being "too dumb nowadays."  It's very difficult to understand something you've never experienced; and, for a majority of "society," acne is nothing more than a very treatable -- and temporary -- nuisance. 


In Topic: I'm Not Worthy Of Being In A Relationship?

07 October 2013 - 05:18 PM

I think appearance has varying levels of importance depending on the situation. IMO, in a relationship, appearance has little value, but I also tend to date unattractive guys. I find myself more attracted to someone who is intelligent, funny, witty and spontaneous than a good-looking man that doesn't have those characteristics. Some people place more importance on importance, others on personality, but overall personality is a huge factor, especially in long term. In a job setting, you might gain a little advantage over others for having a nice looking face, but overall it is your credentials that you will earn you the job. 

Why do you feel like your skin limits what you can do? And hopefully I can help you become happy with how you look. smile.png

 

Well, considering I've never been in a relationship, I'll take your word for anything relationship-related.

 

As for my skin limiting what I can do, that's not necessarily what I meant.  I'm sure it doesn't help my career aspirations, but what I meant was, actually, who I become -- not what I do.  My scarring is severe enough that it is very noticeable and I can attempt to hide it (which I don't see myself doing...), but realistically I can't rid myself of it.  That's tough for me because I have most of my life ahead, and I never thought I'd be dealing with this long-term.

 

And, I don't mean this as an insult, but you're not going to be able to "help me become happy with how I look."  To me, it's just not that simple; it's not something I'm going to accept.  I'm really not sure why I scarred like I did, and, more than likely, I'll be forever haunted by the fact that I might have been able to prevent it.

 

I do, however, appreciate your willingness to converse with me.  Outside of this site, I have nobody to talk about these issues with.  So, for that, thanks again.


In Topic: I'm Not Worthy Of Being In A Relationship?

07 October 2013 - 04:22 PM

Unaccepted Realist, you are an individual with your own set of beliefs and values which are inherent to you, nobody else. Everybody has a different outlook when it comes to acne/scarring. Just because you wouldn’t find the other sex with similar acne/scarring attractive, doesn’t mean everyone will take a similar viewpoint.

I’m not saying all of this just to offer words of comfort, I’m speaking from experience and what I have witnessed in my life.

I do believe you are on the right track though, improving other aspects of your life will help to diminish the psychological effects that acne has had on you. I wish you all the best!

 

You're right and I didn't mean to imply that I thought everyone (or anyone, for that matter) shared my views. 


In Topic: I'm Not Worthy Of Being In A Relationship?

07 October 2013 - 02:27 PM

What makes you unhappy about how you look? 

 And I'm 100% positive someone has liked you. As a shy person myself, I usually do not tell the people I like that I'm interested in them. Some of them had acne, some of them didn't. Regardless, I still didn't let it slip that I liked them. You're more than just what you look like. You sound like you have a nice personality and there are plenty of people out there that would be attracted to you. Don't let your un-perfect skin characterize who you are.

 

Thanks for the kind words.

 

I'd rather not detail exactly what I don't like about my appearance; but, basically, I have acne and relatively severe acne scarring.

 

Also, I don't think my skin completely characterizes who I am, but it certainly limits who I can become.  It's just reality, appearances matter to most people (myself included) and there's just not much I can do about what I look like.  I guess, honestly, I don't want to be happy just to be happy.  I'm not happy about how I look; I'll probably never be happy about how I look, and this is okay with me because, considering my situation, it seems like a reasonable outlook.

 

Although, I don't intend to let my flaws (legitimate or not) impact my life in any overly negative way.  I'm still pursuing what I want to do, and I think that I'll ultimately be fairly successful -- even if I'm not truly 'happy' about my appearance.